Writing Ring around the Roses

[Bio]

[font=arial]This spawned when I heard that the children's song "Ring around the Rosies" depicticted a horrible tragedy. I don't remember exactly what the tragedy was, but if you think about it, it makes sense.[/font]
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[font=papyrus][color=red][Ring Around the Roses]

Wander near the open's gale,
Though listen to the forests tale
Around until the ashes blow
The fires burn, and down we go

Wander not for valleys dreary
Walk in sunlight, remain wary
Conspiracy, the flowers bloom,
Drop them at your neighbor's tomb

'Round and round till twilight's last
The roses bloom, though others pass
In burning blood the children cry;
Round and round until they die

Ring around the flaming roses,
Hold fast to the last of posies,
We burn to ashes, not in time
Down we go, we die for thine[/color]

[color=blue]Round and round, for hope of pass
Heaven's call shall be the last
The rumbling in the distant sky,
All get up, hear His cry

With the posies, we still may fall
Scattered roses hide them all
And if we're cut down by the thorns we reap
Stand back up and do not weep[/font][/color]

[AzureWolf]

Ring Around the Rosies was a song that depicted the Black Death as the Apocalypse. I don't know the entire thing, but in the song, there's this verse:

Ring Around the Rosies
SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING
Thunder, Lighting,
We all stand up

The last two lines refer to Judgement Day. There's a Black Death reference in most of the lines, but someone else can point them out better than I can. So, I figured I'd add something. ^_^

EDIT: Is this your own unique poem based on the song/poem/whatever? I'm lost. :sweat:

[Bio]

[size=1]*tilts head, then grimaces* Oh.. it's Ring around the Rosies? I thought it was roses... If a moderator would be so kind as to change the title some time...

I'll add the next verses I guess, as opposites. *slams head* now I need lighter verses...[/size]

EDIT: I'm keeping the lines about the roses though... I thought posies were a type of flower too... *facepalm* Now I need the change the whole thing...

[wiccansamurai]

Posies is a flower ^_^ Actually, I know what each line of that children's poem is talking about. Disturbing.

Mechanics: Onto your poem. AABB ryhming scheme is pretty... bland. And everyone writes in it!

Emotionalism: The only meaning I could really get out of the poem was death. Not much other than that. But that may be because my mind's on the original folk poem thingy. You should make it more clear what your metaphors stand for.

[Bio]

[size=1]>_< sorry... I'm going to add the next few verses within the hour, that are going to be as opposite to the ones already there as I can make them.

I like the repetition of AABB rhyming. It makes the poem seem more desperate... I think so anyway.[/size]

EDIT: As for the metaphores, I was bored. I want to retell the events that [i]Ring Around the Rosies[/i] stands for. Thanks to AzureWolf, I can write the last lines now...

Done. I wrote them, I hate them. I need to do something more original next time... I have sided with wiccansamurai. AABB Sucks.

[Sandy]

No, don't say that, Arch!! I loved your poem! It might not be THE most original piece of poetry, but you surely know your rhymes and rhythms! :toothie:

And while reading it, I got this "deep" feeling inside, which I only get when reading something really deep. ;)

You're obviously gifted, Arch, so don't put yourself down! *thumbs up*

(PS. Your FFX-2 -signature is simply hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!)

[Naru]

ok! I really like the poem, its really good. every sounds very nice. good work ^^

i know the whole poem and what everything means! I'l put the words to the song in italics.

[I]Ring around the Rosies[/I] this refers to a disease
[I]pockets full of posies[/I] posies are poisonous if you eat them
[I]ashes ashes[/I] what is left when you are creamated
[I]we all fall down[/I] refers the end of the world, when everyone dies.

its a very disrubing nursery rhyme. I always think of the little girls in the white dresses jumping rope in The Nightmare On ELm Street when I hear that....weird.

~naru-chan