When do you think is the right time for sex?

[Guest lavalamp]

And besides, what if you wait until you're married, and find that you completely [b]hate[/b] your partner in bed? Then what?

[Epitome]

[size=1]That doesn't matter... Your not supposed to love someone by how good they are in bed. Your suppposed to love someone by who they are, and how you feel about them, not how they give you pleasure. That it is a part of it, but not the whole thing, but lava lamp, you do have a point-partially.[/size]

[DeathBug]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by White Mage [/i]
[B][size=1]\ Relgion, does it really matter to people that much?[/size] [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=indigo][size=1][font=century]Yes; yes it does. Ever been to the Middle-East?

I'm not going to get off in a tangent about religion; I'm going to bring it right around to support the main point. Face it, the incredibly vast majority of people in the world are religious to various degrees. Sex, seeing as it can have [b]major, long-term, life-altering[/b] consequences, is dealt with in many religions, and many of the rules involve self-scarifice and other complications.

As such, sex is a major deal to a person who follows the guidelines of their religion. It gets even better when they live in a cosomopolitan area and recive mixed messages.

Even if you're am athiest, you have to take into consideration that heterosexual sex can get the girl pregenant, even with protection. You literally put your entire future on the line for a few minutes of pleasure.

For people of all sexual types, diseases are a major concern.

So, yeah, sex is a big deal. And, personally, if you're out having sex left and right with no serious thought other than pleasure, then I think you're a mongrel. I'm not going to be a jerk about it or anything, but it will lessen my opinion of you. Nott hat anyone cares what I think. [/size][/color][/font]

[Frankie]

Are you only 3 years old lava lamp? Cause your sounding it...

That shouldent matter! Just because they may not be good in bed that doesnt mean you shoud go out and find another partner to take that place. God if your married you should stick with the ONE PERSON because you love THEM not the sex. *Rolls eye*

But then there is the other side to it... Its different for everyone. [u]Some[/i] are gay and will probably never commit to one person... some straight people for that matter.

Anyways different people have different views! Like you think its just for fun or someone else thinks its the ultimate way to show affection. It depends from person to person and so on so forth.

In my opinion there are two kinds of sex.

Fun : Something the majority of the people i know will be voting for of course. You go out with a group of friends... smoke some pot and have sex... the good ol days!

And then there is the kind that only a small amount of people seem to go for. Its sex AFTER marriage... its the ultimate show of affection AND a way to produce beutiful children you will love with your partner for the rest of your living days. Its something you do with the man or woman you love unconditionaly... But most people who are religious and even not with a religon goes for this

If you dont like what i had to say right here... Dont tell me about it because i dont care... just like you dont care about what i had to say... So we are even. Thats that... enough said... Goodnight!

~ Flora

[future girl]

I figure the longer you are with a person sexually, the more time you have to fully know that person and explore all possibilities. I admit, when I was younger I found the idea of only having one sexual partner for a life-time a bit boring, but now, I think I'd like to just find that one person that does it for me and stick with him. It's very gross, I don't want to be involved with someone that sleeps with person after person just looking for a good ****, I think I'm worth more than someone's passing fancy.

As for the age thing, I came to the conclusion that I'd lose my virginity after I turned 18. Not to say that I'm not mentally ready for it now or that on my birthday I'm gonna go screw anyone with a penis. When I'm 18, and out of my house and taking care of myself and I find a guy that isn't just going to be one night of passion, then what happens happens. I don't believe in marriage, but I do believe in monogomy so yea.

[Guest lavalamp]

I liked your old post [the one that you deleted] better. No, I will tell you what I think about your post because telling me not to is your overly idiotic way of shielding yourself from logic.

Yes, I am three years old, because forming coherent sentences and seeing differences in personality types, opinions, and [b]heavy[/b] implications are something a three year old can most certainly do.

I never said you should leave your partner after marriage if you aren't satisfied with their performance in bed. In fact, I never said that was a key piece in deciding who it is you should marry. I asked a question, and it was nothing more than that. The problem with waiting to have sex until marriage is that the majority of people, regardless of how superificial this is, are driven by their instincts to have sex because of the pleasure they receive from doing so. Other species have similar incentives. If you were to marry, and found you honestly couldn't stand your partner in bed, I'm afraid, naturally, you'd look to finding something to "fill in the blanks". In fact, this all really comes down to questioning the point of marriage and the way people show affection/who they show affection to in general, which is a completely different topic.

"AND a way to produce beutiful children you will love with your partner for the rest of your living days." What's beautiful about children? They're a huge dent in your pocket, and I know a few people who don't really "love" their children, as sad as that may or may not be.

By the way, even people who do marry with such morals get divorced. Let's not go into how that completely negates what a lot have you been saying about sticking with one person and so on and so forth.

And for the third time, DeathBug, since I know that closing comment was aimed towards a lovely me, I made it a point in my first post in this topic to say "Just play it safe." I even quoted myself again so that hopefully someone would open their eyes and not mistake my point for something completely unrelated. I think safety is important, but I don't think I'm a "mongrel" for enjoying sex. If you're labeling people based on what they do behind closed doors to please themselves [if they are doing such in a safe, and widely-accepted appropriate manner] then you have much bigger problems than can be dealt with in a post regarding the "right age" for sex. And you were partially right; no one does care about what you think if you are, like you described, a closed-minded and judgemental individual.

As for the creator with the topic, don't plan sex. It just happens, and when it does it may or may not be the right time. Don't put so much thought into it, because contrary to popular belief, that may do more damage.

There is no right age.

Point.
Blank.
Period.

[Guest cloricus]

Sex is for enjoyment; unless you're a Christian. (The popes got this thing about sucking the fun out of everything that he?s never done.)

Fourteen is way too young to be having sex, for one you can't past for 16 and get the morning after pill or condoms, two your parents will go ape if you get pregnant and will be less likely to help you out and lastly you really should be doing other things in your spare time.

I personally feel any time after 16 is good as all basic protection and help is easily available since it's no longer illegal.

As for waiting till you're married, that's what? 22 to 30ish years old before that could happen; damn that?s a long time of just wanking off... To me that sounds a bit sad. Sure you could say the people in Jesus? day did it but they were married by the time they were twelve or fifteen.

[Guest Crimson Spider]

But there are wrong ages. Like 4, 14, 12.

At these ages, one simply isn't responsible enough to actually comprehend on what they may have gotten themselves into.


A thing about marrages: Divorces aren't exactly wrong. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out.

About the "protection". Little fact: they fail. Condoms have not-worked (why not is beyond me, but the news is a wonderful thing, isn't it?), birth control has not worked, abortions have gone wrong. Also, because there is "protection" doesn't mean their going to use it.

Dijano: a poll actually showed that married couples have more and better sex [u]with eachother[/u] than unmarried people.

Free-life is overrated.

[Baron Samedi]

OK. To answer the original question at hand here folks [for those of you getting sidetracked]. I think, around 16 is a good time- with a person that you care about. 16 is probably the lowest I would recommend for having sex.

Now to get sidetracked. If you want to save sex until after marriage that is fine- however what if you're spouse doesn't feel that way? What would you do? What if she makes you choose between your religion and her? You choose religion- you obviously don't care about her. Therefore you shouldn't even be with her.

You choose her- we get to my point. Intentions matter. Not some little thing, a piece of paper, official stamps and all. Marriage is something of the heart, not of this plane. Whilst getting 'married' has some materialistic meaning, it should have no other bearing on your life. Marriage of the heart is what matters. Not a piece of paper.

If it makes you feel better- go for it. But I think it is kind of foolish. Before you can truly be bonded to your partner, you need to know them on every level possible. And the physical world is one of those levels.

[quote][i]Originally posted by Blanko[/i]

[i]Some[/i] are gay and will probably never commit to one person... some straight people for that matter.[/quote]

That is a horrible statement. I can and will draw several things from this.

One- you think gay people are bad. Why are they so sleazy, eh? Why are they so much more likely to cheat than straight people, hey?

Two- if it isn't that, then you must be referring to gay's not being allowed to marry. Doesn't mean that they'll cheat. They may stick with the one partner.

You obviously consider marriage to be some legal document- not sanctity of the heart.


Time to finish of with something light-hearted.

[quote][i]From Blanko's signature[/i]

[size=1][b][i]People I'm married to[/i][/b]: Nate [/size][/quote]

So much for the sanctity of Marriage. You planning on marrying any more people ~_^.

Haha.

[DeathBug]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by lava lamp [/i]
[B]And for the third time, DeathBug, since I know that closing comment was aimed towards a lovely me, I made it a point in my first post in this topic to say "Just play it safe." I even quoted myself again so that hopefully someone would open their eyes and not mistake my point for something completely unrelated. I think safety is important, but I don't think I'm a "mongrel" for enjoying sex. If you're labeling people based on what they do behind closed doors to please themselves [if they are doing such in a safe, and widely-accepted appropriate manner] then you have much bigger problems than can be dealt with in a post regarding the "right age" for sex. And you were partially right; no one does care about what you think if you are, like you described, a closed-minded and judgemental individual.[/B][/QUOTE]

[color=indigo][size=1][font=century]Actually, the comment wasnt' aimed towards you; however, if you feel that it applies to you, by all means, take offense.

You assume I would be deragatory towards people for being loose sexually. I don't really care what anyone does on their own time. However, because my personal views are shaped by my personal morals, I believe it is wrong to have sex simply for recreational purposes, with no emotional attachment. I don't care whether you agree with me or not.

And, yes, if you are constantly sexing it up, I equate your self-control with that of a randy dog.

I find it ironic that you accuse me of close-mindedness, yet you say that what people do behind close doors should be "Widely accepted". Hell, they can break out the whips and chains; I'm happy for them. However, if they're having sex just for sex's sake, I will think less of them. If that makes me close-minded, that's cool; if I have to be closed minded about an issue, I'm glad its' the action that's supposed to bring life to another human being.

Cloricus, the Pope is Catholic, not Christian. ^__^[/color][/size][/font]

[James]

[color=#707875]I think this is kinda a redundant question, myself.

Everyone has a different idea of when sex is appropriate, or when they themselves are ready for sex.

If I say to you "You shouldn't be having sex if you're under 16", what's the point? What do I know about your personal habits? Or your maturity?

*shrug*

I think you should have sex when you're old enough to deal with the consequences, as has been said. [/color]

[Guest cloricus]

Same sex partners can register in Tasmania (Australia) under a new system started several weeks ago giving them [i]all[/i] rights that a married couple has including in the case of death, benefits and recognition of their union in that state. Other states are talking about following their lead. I personally think this idea is great since they get what they want and religious people and people who think the word marriage is sacred are all getting what they want.
Just thought that was relevant fact to go behind some posts in this thread...

[Charles]

The best time to have sex is when you're naked. Ahem.

Yeah, I'm not going to sit here and give you an age that sanctifies sexual activity. The decision to have sexual relations is a personal one that's different for everybody.

Before people are ready for sex though, they must be able to discuss the subject intelligently. Judging by some of the posts I've read in this thread thus far, many of you are definitely not ready for sex because you don't even understand it. Those of you who declare that sex is meaningless or "no big deal" are immediately telling me that you're not ready for the responsibility attached to the decision to have sex.

White Mage is a perfect example of this attitude. I won't be hypocritical. I realize, just moments ago, I said there's no definitive age for sexual readiness--but there is a general ballpark estimate. A fourteen year old--a child himself who can't possibly seem to fathom why sex is "a big deal" and couldn't be a successful provider for offspring probably shouldn't be having sex. The maturity level just isn't there yet. I'm not saying that to be insulting, but it's true. People should take the time to grow up before they make grown-up decisions that could have grown-up consequences.

People also shouldn't have to ask others when it's the right time to have sex; it's something they should just know. If there's any question to it, they're probably not read yet.

Now, personally, I'm not going to preach about chastity. And, I would like it if we could have a discussion where we don't condemn individuals for being sexually open or free. Such behavior is typical in these discussions. I've even seen the makings of it here already.

Personally, I don't think people should have to be married before deciding to have sex. I respect those of you who believe people shouldn't have sex for enjoyment. That's fine. I just don't see things that rigidly. I'm not a diehard moral entrepreneur.

If two people are responsible and believe they're ready to take that step, I won't complain. What they do in the bedroom is their business alone and I won't judge them.

At the same time, I don't think people should screw anything that moves. Again, that maturity level has to be there. If someone's being sexually careless they're putting themselves and others in jeopardy. Thereshould be personal reasons behind the act of having sex and there should be some sort of emotional attachment. One must care enough about the other person enough to commit to them and protect them from careless behavior.

Anyway, if I ever have a daughter, there probably won't be an appropriate age for her to have sex. ^_^;;

[Guest lavalamp]

When I said "widely accepted", I was really referring to things as severe as murder.

[SasukeUchiha]

Wait until you feel youve found someone who deserves to be your first. You are still to young to know that you truly found someone you should give youself to sexually. Take it from me, I lost mine at 14, and it kinda takes the greatness of your first time when your that young.
Its not a matter of age its a matter of being mature enough to make the decision, know that the person is worth having sex with, and knowing what consequences may come from having sex.

Thats my opinion.

[Frankie]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Baron Samedi [/i]
[B]

That is a horrible statement. I can and will draw several things from this.

One- you think gay people are bad. Why are they so sleazy, eh? Why are they so much more likely to cheat than straight people, hey?

Two- if it isn't that, then you must be referring to gay's not being allowed to marry. Doesn't mean that they'll cheat. They may stick with the one partner.

You obviously consider marriage to be some legal document- not sanctity of the heart.

~So much for the sanctity of Marriage. You planning on marrying any more people ~_^.~

Haha. [/B][/QUOTE]

I have nothing against gays... I have many gay friends.. notice i said STAIGHT people too... and not to mention when im slightly laughing my head off and angry at the same time i say some very strange things. Gay's arent bad... I mainly said that because i was being very imature... so sue me.

I dont concider marriage to be a legal document... but the reason I speak like that is well because i KNOW ill never get married or find anyone so pfft. Lol

Oh yes i plan to marry my computer....my brother... and my cousin twice removed... oh and my favorite sister... and my plushies... and all my anime figures... and and... Ok so no I dont... actually.

*Shrug* Ah whatever.

~ Flora

[Hinata]

[COLOR=royalblue][SIZE=1]


Well, well, well just my conversation. But I dont wish to repeat most of the things htat my good buddy Charles had said so I'll just reffer back to his words and clarify..

You know what forget it, I'll just simplify things.

Things you should do before having sex.
1. See if he or she is really worth you giving up your virginity to. If the guy/ girl and starts flirting with you off the bat and huggin all over you like ya'll been dating for ages. She/he ai't the one.
Its best for you to find a man/ woman who respects your wishes and your body. If he. she says when your ready let me know. He has some points.

2. Make sure the person isn't under 16( for those of you over 18) or over 18( for those of you under 16). Why?... if that person means that much to you then you should be willing to wait to the right age ( by legal standing) before you have sex. If a grown up wished to get with a young person, then your desperate for the 'goods' and you can find anyone your own age to act stupid with. Also if you wish to see the person you' supposedly care for ' or yourself go to jail...then be my guest...

3. Have your partner tested even if he or she says there a virgin. You never know what a person is carrying and plus its kinda scary to think you may have contracted a disease. Believe me Ive had friends go through that...and its nothing nice.
Plus if you feel you old enough to have sex. Get yourself checked out anyways(esp for the ladies, excuse me young women.) It just shows much more respect for yourself to get checked out and at least see what options of protection are out there.

4. Take a look at your life. Are you really ready to have a child, or get an STI or have to worry about will he she like me the next day. That is something that shouldnt even have to cross your mind. And also look at what you recieve from your parent. Do you wish to see their smiles turn into frowns..your money for that brand new car you want go to a car seat, crib, hospital bills dipaers, etc for the baby you can have or treatment for a disease you can catch...
And as you see I used the word CAN!!! Yes you can have sex, Yes you can get pregnant, and yes you can get a disease one that may even take you life. Or worse get a cray man or woman that may want to hurt you.
And the number one thing to do after having sex:

[B] Take responsiblities for you actions[/B]... I did. I was 14 when I decided to have sex and gave birth to a little girl a month before my 15th birthday...Yes guys and girls 14 years 11 mts. Now, lord knows I didnt need a child at that time but I had no choice but to 'lay in the bed I made'. And dont think that it cant happen to you because its your first time of because you use protection.. The guy with whom I slept wore a condom and oops 9 mths later I got my gift.. YAY!!!!


SEX... I dont care what anyone thinks is a power thing. No mater how meaningless or meaningful it may be to you. But it can affect you life, the life of your partner and a life or someone you dont even now but may be on the way.

So please please please think it through...... Be smart and use the right head when you think.....
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Shinmaru]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Charles [/i]
[B]The best time to have sex is when you're naked. Ahem.

Yeah, I'm not going to sit here and give you an age that sanctifies sexual activity. The decision to have sexual relations is a personal one that's different for everybody.

Before people are ready for sex though, they must be able to discuss the subject intelligently. Judging by some of the posts I've read in this thread thus far, many of you are definitely not ready for sex because you don't even understand it. Those of you who declare that sex is meaningless or "no big deal" are immediately telling me that you're not ready for the responsibility attached to the decision to have sex.

White Mage is a perfect example of this attitude. I won't be hypocritical. I realize, just moments ago, I said there's no definitive age for sexual readiness--but there is a general ballpark estimate. A fourteen year old--a child himself who can't possibly seem to fathom why sex is "a big deal" and couldn't be a successful provider for offspring probably shouldn't be having sex. The maturity level just isn't there yet. I'm not saying that to be insulting, but it's true. People should take the time to grow up before they make grown-up decisions that could have grown-up consequences.

People also shouldn't have to ask others when it's the right time to have sex; it's something they should just know. If there's any question to it, they're probably not read yet.

Now, personally, I'm not going to preach about chastity. And, I would like it if we could have a discussion where we don't condemn individuals for being sexually open or free. Such behavior is typical in these discussions. I've even seen the makings of it here already.

Personally, I don't think people should have to be married before deciding to have sex. I respect those of you who believe people shouldn't have sex for enjoyment. That's fine. I just don't see things that rigidly. I'm not a diehard moral entrepreneur.

f two people are responsible and believe they're ready to take that step, I won't complain. What they do in the bedroom is their business alone and I won't judge them.

At the same time, I don't think people should screw anything that moves. Again, that maturity level has to be there. If someone's being sexually careless they're putting themselves and others in jeopardy. Thereshould be personal reasons behind the act of having sex and there should be some sort of emotional attachment. One must care enough about the other person enough to commit to them and protect them from careless behavior.

Anyway, if I ever have a daughter, there probably won't be an appropriate age for her to have sex. ^_^;; [/B][/QUOTE]

Amen, Charles. Amen.

All I can do, really, is echo the sentiments Charles set forth in his post (especially the opening sentence :p). There really is no "appropriate age" for sex, in my mind, because something like maturity can't really be attached to something like age so easily. I mean, is a 16 year old really going to be that much more mature than a 14 year old? I don't think so.

Like Charles said, the right time to have sex is when two mature people are willing to deal with whatever consequences may arise from this decision want to have sex. That's all there is to it, really. I can't stop anyone from having sex at a young age, but it's still pretty irresponsible. But it's not my place to judge people, heh.

So, yeah, there's my stance on the issue.

[wrist cutter]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Shinmaru [/i]
[B]I mean, is a 16 year old really going to be that much more mature than a 14 year old? [/B][/QUOTE]

Actually, from experience, I'd have to disagree with this statement... I think 2 years makes a lot of difference when dealing with the maturity of a teenager.

Of course, everyone is on somewhat different "maturity levels"... there are certainly some 14 year olds who are more mature than many people who are many years older... but this 14 year old in 2 years will probably go through a lot of changes.

[James]

[color=#707875]I agree with wrist cutter on that point.

That's why teenage sex can be such a loaded issue; you're talking about people who may only be a few years apart, but who have massively different physical and mental maturities.

So that's largely why I think it comes down to a person's own choice, in terms of how they feel themselves. Obviously, it's probably safer to wait until you're at least a little bit older...if only because then you're probably more inclined to deal with things in a mature way.

But again, there's no black and white standard. Everyone is different. So I don't think that I could apply a particular age limit to sex.[/color]

[Shinmaru]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by wrist cutter [/i]
[B]Actually, from experience, I'd have to disagree with this statement... I think 2 years makes a lot of difference when dealing with the maturity of a teenager.

Of course, everyone is on somewhat different "maturity levels"... there are certainly some 14 year olds who are more mature than many people who are many years older... but this 14 year old in 2 years will probably go through a lot of changes. [/B][/QUOTE]

Yes, I'd have to agree with you here. I mean, I don't know a large amount of really mature 16 year olds but I suppose 2 years does make quite a bit of difference. And, yeah, there is the odd 13 or 14 year that happens to be pretty mature. Doesn't happen too often, but they exist - sex is the last thing on their mind, though, from my experience lol. Well, that is, until they actually do become 16 years old, heh.

[OlgaTheDwarf]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Charles [/i]
[B]f two people...[/B][/QUOTE]

*Questions the meaning of that comment in this thread?* *Wonders if that truely is a mis-spelling?*(lol)

Anyway, you personally may not agree with the ideals of waiting until marriage, and I fully realize that most don't, but it seems to me that more people seem to like what the Hollywood has to say about sex, than what the Bible (just an example, go with it) says. Why? Simply because they are horny and want the "feel good fix", right now. I'm not sure if there are any OBers like that, but I personally know many people like that.

One thing to think about if you do hold the "Hollywood" opinion (or maybe your thinking about), is that obviously, when you get 14 year old kids imitating what they saw on last nights [i]Friends[/i], you get problems. Stuff like STDs and teenage pregnancies run rampant (which, coincidentally is the case here in the US.) Yes, you can do stuff to help avoid stuff like that (i.e. condoms, birth-control pills, Hep. B vaccination, ect...), but those things don't always work. The thing that does work, and barely ever gets the platform it deserves, is waiting until marriage. No, marriage is not a magical thing that won't let you get an STD if your spouse is infected, but if you both wait than no worries mate (at least in the bedroom).

So, there are many many opinions on this subject, some people are set in their way and some are still forming there opinions. My request is that if you are still forming an opinion (or open to something else) don't just go with an opinion because you're horny.

I'm guessing it's pretty obvious which opinion I hold (waiting until marriage), but I would like to make it clear that in no way am I condemning poeple who haven't waited. I just think it is the best route, and wish more would consider it. I also realize that thinking everyone will change their ways is an unrealistic ideal, that will never happen, the best thing a person can do is make the descision for themselves.

That's my opinion on sex in general, but I also have been thinking about another way of life for myself. This is called celibacy, and for you uneducated folk it means no sex. I feel that for some people, this life can and should be lived. It's actually a very refreshing life to think about. Yes, you still would have your hormones but you don't have to worry about them because you have already decided sex isn't that important to you. You don't even have to worry about getting married, and that raises the value of friendships you have. Many of you may see celibacy as a impossible task, but your not me, and I'm not even sure if that's how I'll live.
-----------------

So, yeah... this post is kinda out there. But it's some of my opinions on sex.

[Fatty_McGee]

Well, I seriously think its wrong to have sex at such an early age. a couple of my friends did it, and believe me...they were never the same person. They were always doing, *disturbing* stuff....and going out with their boy friends/ girl friends.

Well..I agree with Blanko. I mean, i dont' think your wife would like to know you had sex a ____ number of times before you married her.

Hmm, and if you have it too early you mite have a little "accident", becuase you dont' want to make the girl pregnant and walk away from her, because seriously that can ruin someones life. And if you do walk away, your reputation will be ruined forever. But if you stay with it, you will be laughed at.

Just, keep it in until after your married. Thats my final line.

[Sephiroth]

Well whatever happens, remember one very important thing....

Always wear a condom!

Otherwise you will end up with a kid like I did :wigout:

[sunyippee]

Well... I agree with Blanko. In other words, to have sex with the person you are ready to marry is okay.
It is my opinion and maybe the thought that you would like to have when you're in your right senses~

Alright, let nature take it's course...