I need understanding

[Ninjaman]

Okay, well, I should start at the beginning, which was Tuesday.

Now I was recovering from a cold and I felt so weak. Nevertheless, I dressed out for my gym class, which was my third period that day. We ran for twelve minutes and afterwards I felt so tired. At the end of class, as I was dressing back into my uniform, something didn't feel right. Not with my body or cold, but my heart. After dressing back into my uniform I walked back into the gym to wait for lunch. One of my friends, Alicia, noticed I looked down. She asked me what was wrong, but I honestly didn't know. Though I never really got to tell her that because we kept getting interrupted by this one annoying guy. Anyway, then lunch came. I didn't sit next to Alicia because she's quiet around the people I sit next to, so I told I would write her a note (she likes it when I write her notes). During lunch, I felt, well, horrible. As soon as I stopped eating I laid my head on the table. The cafeteria was unusually hot and that made feel me very tired. Two of my friends, Brian and Jourdan, were very worried and kept asking what was wrong. I didn't know what to tell them. All I knew was that I was tired and for some reason, I felt depressed. After lunch, Alicia and Brian asked again what was wrong. They told me that when they see me down, they feel down as well. That made me feel worse because I don't like it when I'm the cause of making others down and that also made me want to tell them what was wrong even more, even though I had no idea why I was so depressed. My day didn't exactly get any better because I forgot my homework for my next period, which was Chemistry.

Anyway, that night I wrote both Alicia and Brian a note about how I was depressed for some reason. I gave them the notes the next day. I actually thought I was doing better, but that night proved otherwise. That night, something happened. Something inside broke. I was in my room, just finished watching the OC on TV. I suddenly felt nervous, scared, and depressed at the same time. Then I just broke down and cried. The only thing I wanted was to be at school and with my friends. I kept calling out for my friends in my head.

Then on Thursday morning came. I woke up with the same feelings I had the previous night. My heart kept beating as my dad drove me to school. Then when I arrived, once I entered the building. I felt...... safe and happy. I told Alicia how I broke down the previous night and she honestly didn't know why. She thought that maybe it was because of what was going on in the world with death and the war. We both didn't really know, but all I knew was that I was happy right there and then. Later that day everyone asked me if I was doing better and I told them I was.

My question isn't why I wanted to be with my friends. I love them, and I believe that's why I wanted to be with them, because I love them. My question is, why did I breakdown? Is it stress? Because I am worried about Chemistry with not starting off the semester very well and Junior year is halfway over. Or is it something that can just randomly happen?

One thing I do find a little strange is how I felt happier when I was with my friends than my actual family, but that was just how I happened to feel. Don't get me wrong though, I do love my family very much. ^^

[TheEsca]

Maybe you are just stressed, or are having anxiety problems? I was going to say heart burn at the begining of the post, but heart burn usually doesnt cause depression. heh. any ways, did you take anything weird for your cold? You might have had an allergic reaction to cold medicine, or something else. Like for me, when i take codine i get either A- super-uncontrolablly(SP) hyper or B- super depressed and wish i would die. i dont know, a few things you might want to think about. im glad you are feeling better though.

[Ninjaman]

Well, I took DayQuil. But I don't remember if I took any the day I broke down, though.

[Patronus]

[size=1]You won't get the correct answer unless there are some therepists in this here forum...

But, yeah, it's probably stress. I've done that before.[/size]

[Doukeshi]

It is possibly that you could have had a panic attack, they aren't uncommon among students. I myself have had several. Usually these things can be brought on by something like stress or illness and are possibly hightened by small stressful actions throughout the day (e.g gym, the annyong guy, couple with the cold etc.)

You most likely felt relieved to be around your friends because it is a safe and protected environment. You are close to your friends and that calms you down and makes you feel safe. In a sense it is your "happy place". I don't claim to know anything about your family or social situation but maybe your friends know more about you and are closer to you than your actual family, making it feel like a better, less confused place for your mind to be.

If the depression and anxiety continues I suggest that you seek advice from someone who knows a little more on the subject such as your doctor or maybe the school councellor.

[Toorima]

I agree with the other people. It's probably just stress. The same thing happened to me before. I just cleared my head and went to sleep, and the next day I felt a lot better.

[Ryoko T.D.C.]

Gas. My thought would be gas. But no, lets get past gas. LOL! Past gas....*chuckles under breath*Anyway, in your first para.,I can relate to that. It happened to me too! I'm so not joking! I felt tired all day, my heart didn't feel right, but my sides felt bad too, and my stoumch hurt too. It felt as though I was going to have a heart attack! So I told my mom. She said not to worry and that it was only.......gas.......*chuckles*. I was relived. So for your sake, hope it's gas......really...........I'm not joking.

[Annie]

[color=indigo][i][size=1] "Understanding", yes, you need. Understand that this is normal, nothing to worry about. I have done this multiple times. It will sneak up on me in times of high stress and/or anger. Do you have family problems? If so, that could explain some of that..and the fact that you'd rather be with your friends than your family. Which is completely fine.

I feel you on that. I spend my entire day on the internet to talk to all of my friends here in the OB. They give me a comfort that my family cannot, and that is fine. I love my family dearly, but there are times when you just have to get away.

You just need to relax, don't work yourself up on this, you'll only make it worse. Trust me, I went through the exact situation for three years. Three years of off and on [b]anxiety attacks[/b]. They would render me from enjoying time with my family and friends. I would have to lay down in bed and struggle to calm myself, crying and sinking into depression at random. It is very scary, and I hate to see people go through this, for I have been there and I hate it.

How did I learn to control it? And yes, you heard me correctly, I said [b]learn to control it[/b]. Anxiety attacks do not go away, they come back once in a blue moon. Brought on by unneccessary stress, worry, fear, etc. Anyways, what I had to do is think outside of myself. Don't think of how you are, think of off topic resources, like friends, pets, family, school, anything that doesn't draw attention to yourself. Focus your thoughts on random objects or people.

It helped me. It's been I'd say...two years now; I've only had a few attacks. So hang in there, it's completely normal and controlable. I am happy to see that you have such caring friends, that makes this easier for you.

If you would like to talk more, please feel free to PM me or if you have AIM I am [b]GoddessUnluck[/b].

I hope I have helped and take care,

[b][center]~Annie~[/center][/color][/size][/i][/b]

[ZytaZiouZ]

I am going to guess one of two things. It may be a purely emotional problem, or it may be a chemical embalance. They are far more common than people expect. It isn't anything serious, and it is an easy probem to fix.

My other guess is there is something you know you need to do, but you feel like you can't for a certain reason. A while back I was in a situation like that, and when there was something that reminded me, my chest would star hurting really badly, almost like something was caught in my chest trying to move. I would shiver, but I could keep that under control. I basically knew what I had to do, but I wouldn't accept it. It was like, maybe if I ignored the problem everything would go away. I used the excuse that I am clostraphobic (although I am to a degree).

Anyways, make sure there isn't anything you feel like you need to do, listen to any suggestions that seem plausible from other people, and see a doctor.

[Guest Crimson Spider]

Scary how almost the exact same thing happens to me... sometimes. 3 or 4 times a year.

Don't know why, even with everything I know about our brain. I can [b]Guess[/b] that it is because of certain circumstances, which may include recent happenings, cause an im-balance of chemicals in your brain, making it so you are now extreamly sad and have yourself a breakdown, where afterwards letting out the stress causes the levels in your brain to re-align to where they should be, and you feel fine afterwards.

But even then, that doesn't seem quite right...

[Drix D'Zanth]

This "imbalance of chemicals" is pretty much a marketing ploy for most people, unless one suffers from actual clinically defined depression or mental derrangment.

Anyone who knows anything distinct about the human brain would understand that the reason it works is because chemicals aren't balanced. It's this imbalance that drives our chemicals to function. In fact, our entire body is imbalanced to a certain extent; water transfer, diffusion, ionization, etc.

I belive Annie put it best. This is thread should not necessarily come to deal with understanding. No one will ever give you a complete understanding but yourself, which requires individual patience and work. You need to look to yourself for the answers after you seek the answers on OB and gain the wisdom of this experience.

I'll let this thread continue if anyone really has something [i]new[/i] or interesting to say... please try to add on other people's opinion instead of repeating it in your own words.