Writing An interesting poem

[Luminaire]

[color=crimson]It's for my brother, but I don't think I would ever show it to him. Tell me what you guys think.[/color]

[color=royalblue]Questions

What happened to your smile?
Where has your laughter gone?
Why do we never talk anymore?

What happened to the boy
Who played and laughed with me
Who called me silly nicknames
Who shares my memories?

What happened to the good ol' times
Of silly games
Of cloud-castle adventures
Of chasing fireflies?

What happened to my best friend
Who talked to me late at night
Who cared about my happiness
With whom I never had a fight?

What happened to my brother?
Am I nothing to you now?
Why do all our happy memories make me cry?[/color]

[color=crimson]~Lumi ^_^[/color]

[Mitch]

[size=1][color=red] I thought it was simply, quizzically, introspectively profound in its own way.

It's all just questions, which is interesting. The flow is good; isn't marred by much. Doesn't rhyme--which isn't a bad thing at all.

I thought it was good. Good in a simple, easy way.

Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing--and then on the side, eat oatmeal cream pies, because those things rule. O.o';

So yeah..it says what it says clearly. Clarity. That's what I've been finding in my writing lately. Finding my voice, finding my own way to write. An implementation of the various authors I've absorbed.

Clarity's a good thing. Yay for clarity.[/size][/color]

[The Vampire: Ed]

It's actually very good in my opinion, but maybe that is because it so resembles myself and my sister. We use to be like best friends in childhood, and we always played together and talked. Basically they were some of my fondest memories, but when we moved that bond began to dissolve as she had gotten new friends and decided it wasn't cool to hang with her younger brother anymore, especially when her friends were around. We've both changed so much over the years, and now I feel like she's just a mere acquaintance. Sibling bonds are surprisingly quite fragile even though you share the same blood, I'd say if you want to improve your bond with your brother, then perhaps this poem would be a good start. It would let him know just how you're feeling, and how much it would mean to you if the two of you had that strong bond you once had.

I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be critiquing your poem, and it's turned into more of an advice response. I apologize. Well, I've basically said what I needed to say, it really is a good poem. But I'll leave my advice in the case that it might, in some way be of some help.