Seeking advice for MED. [Music Elitist Disorder]

[Guest lavalamp]

This is musically related but also related to a general personality flaw so I honestly can't say I'm positive this topic belongs here. Because I'm not, I'll throw in some pointless certain music garbage to cover.

OK, first things first.

I honestly hate people who like the same bands I do.

OK, now give me advice for fixing this.

It's terrible. I now understand why people quote that cliche regarding how opposites attract. Am I the only one who honestly cannot stand people who share musical interests? I constantly want to be the authority on something that is completely trivial. I only feel the need to be like that when the person is one of the following:

1. A newer fan to the band/genre/etc.

2. A relatively older fan who knows a little bit but acts like they're the guru on the particular band/genre/etc.

3. A person who gives themself that transparent individuality image because of liking a not-so-mainstream band/genre/etc.

And finally...

4. Other musical elitists!

Why is this? That's nearly everybody [sadly]. I seriously hold an immense amount of hatred for them, too. To the point where I honestly would hurt them [it's terrible; music is that important to me] if they took it far enough.

Luckily, most of my interaction with the people I can't stand is online, so it's easy to say "BRB." and never come back, but offline it's dangerous, don't you think? Music is supposed to be the universal language. Who knew it was such a violent one?!

Anyway, can any of you relate? Do any of you feel as if you are the "owners" of a genre/band/etc. you're interested in? How do you get by with accepting the fact that other [stupid, insignificant, inferior] people like it too?

And for my super cover or whatever:

"Does it bother you if an artist does not write their own lyrics? Why or why not?"

[wrist cutter]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by lava lamp [/i]
[B]Anyway, can any of you relate? Do any of you feel as if you are the "owners" of a genre/band/etc. you're interested in? How do you get by with accepting the fact that other [stupid, insignificant, inferior] people like it too?[/B][/QUOTE]

I definitely can relate.

Last year, I knew this guy who was a total '80s metalhead. He loved KISS, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, you name it. I saw a prime opportunity here, and so I told him about X JAPAN, gave him a CD (and several more throughout the year) and he became a huge X fan by this year anyway.

So we're cool. I know him fairly well so I've no problem with this. Then another guy, who has heard us talking about X, wants to hear them too. I burn him some CDs, he turns into a fan.

But here's where it gets tricky, because now more people want to hear X... and I don't want that! I want to be the one distributing the CDs, being seen as the X authority (as stupid as that is). I'm guessing this sort of feeling is what you're talking about...

Occasionally, while browsing other forums, I'll see people talking about bands I like... which is fine. But then some newbie to the band will come in, ask for recommendations, and some guy recommends all these songs that aren't that great. That kind of thing gets to me too; it's like, "look, I'm obviously a bigger fan than you, let [i]me[/i] do the recommending." For me this extends beyond music though...

Anyway... I'm hoping that's the sort of the thing you're talking about. And with the lyrics thing, I honestly don't care either way.

[Semjaza]

It's best for everyone if they get more fans. More sales, more concerts, more reason to keep going. I don't [i]own[/i] these bands.

Now I'll admit it's annoying when you're talking to someone that claims to be an expert on a certain subject, but then you get far enough into it to realize they know next to nothing about it. I've had that happen to me countless times with [i]anything[/i], not just music. That's just an general problem with things, not something specific to music. If I thought like that, I'd probably hate everything. What's the fun in that?

Personally, I'd rather share my love of the band. For every few idiots, you'll get one person who genuinely likes the band and would be a true fan of it. That's fine enough with me.

There's people who like the Misfits because they sing about "killing babies and raping girls!". Obviously these people are stupid. They don't get the point of the horror theme or any of the satire. So I just don't relate with these people. It doesn't lessen my enjoyment of the music. I'm not that selfish. If someone is talking to me and they have a poor opinion on the band thanks to some random idiot, I do my best to inform them of the truth. Not a big deal.

As for your problem, I don't know what to tell you. It seems more like you care about your image as a so-called "guru" than you actually care about the music. In wrist cutter's case, I don't think he takes that idea as far as you are saying you do. So you have to just sit there and think about what's more important in that situation: your ego or the success of the bands you like.

[James]

[color=#707875]I agree with Tony's post, basically.

It's the same with music, or video games, or anime or anything else. I see a lot of anime fans who are unduly "posessive" over a particular franchise or something.

I don't think it specifically relates to music. It's just...I don't know...selfishness? *shrug* It's a personality trait in general, I think.

In terms of improving the situation, I think Tony makes some good points here...in the sense that the more coverage these artists are getting, the better. So it's a good thing (others getting to know the artists), rather than a bad thing, especially if you really adore a particular band or artist.[/color]

[Dan Rugh]

I'm like this a lot, too, in a couple of recent incidences.

My roommate and I like a lot of the same music but I'm the one that finds all the new bands and he gets their songs off my computer with his little 64MB memory key. I do it for him nicely, but then when he starts to get into them a lot and plays there music more than I do, I get angry with him. This is really strange because I've know the kid since 3rd grade and I'm developing this"hatred" for him (lol). So lately I've been finding heavier stuff with more screaming because I know he won't like it.

A few days ago, I was on one of my favorite band's websites and I read in the news section they have finally made a video and it was featured on FUSE. I got kind of frustrated because now anyone that watches TV can know of there existance. So, I watched the video on their website and was happy that it was just them standing there playing instead of something flashy that would attract viewers.

Another example of this is that right now in this post, I'm not mentioning any of their names. Haha

Funny creatures, we are.

[Amorphous]

[color=crimson][size=1]I guess it's kind of like this for me, since I have the same problem at the core.

So one random day I will be looking on Kazaa to download more new music and I'll find some. If it's obviously good then I'm going to be like "wow" So I really don't think about telling anyone else about the music because I'm to enthralled by it to care. (Most people don't like the music I listen to at my school anyways though.) Then the next day at school I'll be listening to it and I almost get protective over it. So I just won't let anyone listen to it. Personally the only person I let listen to my music is my girlfriend and that's really it.

But then at the same time my mood can change automatically and I'll want everyone to listen to my music because I think it's "cool" I just hate setting trends, I don't like people following what I do I guess. So even then I don't let anybody listen to it. I'll let the band do the job of promoting themselves and I know there are more fans as well that would get other people listen to these bands anyways. I think though my attitude of setting trends is more for clothes then anything.

Either way I'm getting over it slowly but surely.[/color][/size]

[Guest lavalamp]

While I see the obvious benefit behind exposure for the artist, it's a moot point, because the particular genre I listen to can arguably be infamous for having the most fans with the least amount of such actually buying the material.

I can see how it does reflect a lot on my "priorities" if you can call it that. However, I do care more about the music than I do my image. It's the music that makes me want to develop such an image in the first place. Obviously, there is a huge egotistical dishing of flattery by me wanting such. It's horrible, isn't it?

[Semjaza]

Well, I don't really know how anyone can be of help in this in that case. I can understand how someone could like a band or genre enough that they want to keep it to themselves. A good example of that here was punk, which had pretty much an explosion in the 90s thanks to bands like Green Day. Many original fans disowned them, other punk bands got big and had the same result. Now you have people complaining about what's "real" punk and what's not. The problem is that things just don't work that way. Bands are on labels to get somewhere, to get more fans, etc. I'm sure they don't want to be working at the local fast food restaurant the rest of their lives and pop out some music to buy every so often for two dozen fans.

I'm assuming you're referring to Japanese music and in that case, I guess not much can be said about that. People can buy some of that stuff, but it's not exactly cheap, so yeah I would agree that the piracy is pretty rampant. On the other hand, I listen to bands from other countries as well... and I'm not on a crusade to keep them all to myself. I really don't see how that can be a concern about anything more than an image, simply because some people like to be the go-to guy for obscure music information lol.

It's not as if there's not other people on the planet that know more about the subject than you or I or whoever else. Seems like something trivial to get annoyed over, but I guess I can understand it in a way.

I, personally, prefer people who know around as much as I do about a subject. It's good music conversation. I don't like to constantly be in situations where I have to tell this person all about the band because they only know two songs off the radio... if that.

[future girl]

For years now the music I'm most passionate about has been a big secret. Spanish Rock is really big in some cities of the United States, but in Miami is kinda sorta dead. It sucks, because of it's unpopularity here bands I love very rarely come down and if they do it's for one night only, and they don't come back in [i]years[/i].

There was a point in my life where I was a bit selfish and I kept my music for myself, I was afraid of what popularity might do to the sound really. But then, I got over that sillyness and I introduced a few people to a few bands like Los Fabulosos Cadillacs or Jaguares. I think it's nice to be able to share the sounds, discuss the lyrics, have intelligent conversations about hidden meaning and the notes the singer can hit. I love music, I like people to love it with me *nods*.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=violet]I've never been much of an elitist because I've usualy listened to bands that were already on the radio-well then along came Lincoln and his strange music.

I now listen to Old bands like Rush along with Sevendust, Pennywise (local band) Yellow Card (local band) and a few I can't remember. I even ended up listening to some German Death Metal band that I can't remember the name of.

It makes my husband and I laugh to see such bands as The Donnas in the new release section of the music stores because in actuallity they've been around for years.

I guess my point in this post is it's okay to be a bit of an elitist so you can be amused when people squeel about some '[i]new[/i] band that just came out. But if someone asks what you're listening to go ahead and tell them because it's not like you're the band's manager or something.[/color]

[scrmngfangrl]

yeah, what s.a. said, i prefer it when the person knows as much as me, but the two extremes, most of the 'elite' people geat really bi chie when they start talking 'enlightening'.

there are some guys at my school that like a few bands that i like an there are probably butloads more and not knowing them is really annoying.

but the guy i like knows at least one band so im happy for now^^

[Kent]

Lava Lamp,

I have been in the same boat for a long time with alot of the bands Im into.

My advice, let it go.

The newbie to the band: we were all newbs at one point, so take it easy on them.
The guru: ignore them, those people are jerks.
The image oriented fool: count them for what they are... a fool. Then ignore them.

:D

Good luck.
And don't forget, being an elitest makes you worse than all those people combined. (just because, without elitism, you could be the best, but then your ruin it with a false sense of superiority.)