Writing -Syk3's Guide to Modding Your Butt Off-

[Dragon Warrior]

'Ello, matie. I am Dragon Warrior. I bet you knew that... yeah... anyways, this idea came to me while in an AIM chat with Syk3. I started blabbing the idea and then to laugh at Syk, made it into something. Then Syk liked it ;_; I was like "Meh to you, Syk", but he wouldn't have it. I ended up dying so I made this and now I will post it.

It's gonna be posted in lessons so be sure to return to get a new lesson!
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[center][b][u]Syk3?s Guide to Modding Your Ass Off[/u][/b]
[size=1]And ways to getting yourself to be a mod.[/size][/center]

Syk: Oh, hewwo dere ^_^ Didn?t see woo come in. I?m Syk3, the awesum one :D I?m going to-

DW: Cheese.

Syk: Uh.. Alwight. Cheese? fine. Anyways, as I was saying, I?m going to-

DW: Burger.

Syk: Shut dup, alweady. I?m talking. Anyways, I?m going to be teaching woo about-

DW: Che-

Syk: *slays DW* Dere. I feel better. Now, I?m going to expwain some basic steps to you about da modding world. It?s very exciting, yes. But the path to modding is SOOOOO long that I?ll have to spwit it up into more than one lesson. As such, let?s begin, shall we?

[center][b]Lesson #1:[/b][u]Preparing For Modhood[/u][/center]

Syk: This is a very important step awong da path to modhood. It took me fifty years to get where I am and I?m not even 18 yet. So if you expect to become a mod, you?re going to have to waste fifty of your 18 years. Now let?s begin. Firstly, we need for you to read da forum wules before you may start. I have my assistant Dwagon Warrior here to help me. Dwagon!

DW: You killed me ;_;

Syk: Yes, now pwease get da wule book!

DW: *crawls away*

Syk: Now den, once he fetches da book of wules, we may begin. To be a good mod, you must know all da wules [I]and[/I] fowwow dem. Sounds hard, yes, but I did it and look how sexy I am.

DW: *crawls back with da Rule Book*

Syk: Ah. Very good, DW. Let?s begin. As we take a wook at dese wules, you may see that James, the administrator of this whole setup, has suppwied us with some very interesting ideas. He even starts off da wules with the definition of spam! Now that?s classy.

DW: Can I go now?

Syk: Shut dup! Ahem? anyways, once you know what spam is? what? You don?t? That?s because you suck. Allow me to tell you (in James? words, of course). Ahem? AHEEMMM? *cough*cough*hack* Okay? ahem? errmmmhemmm? ACCKKKKHACCKKK!!! Patooie! There? something was in my throat. Quite nasty, boys and girls. Kay, the definition of spam is canned meat pwoduct consisting pwimawily of chopped pork pwessed into a woaf. Sounds nasty.

???: Excuse me while I throw up.

Syk: OMG OMG OMG! It?s Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes, everybody!

Nobody in Particular: *claps twice and remains silent*

Syk: What are woo doing here, Mr. Snipes? Shouldn?t woo be making some cwazy action-packed adventure film in Howwywood?

Wesley: What the hell is Howwywood?

Syk: You know. Howwywood.

Wesley: I don?t follow.

Syk: HOWWYWOOD! HOWWYWOOD! The pwace where dey make films!

Wesley: Ohhh! Ohhh! Hollywood. Sorry. Couldn?t understand you with your speech impediment.

Syk: What speech impediment?

(long silence)

Wesley: Uhh? so? makin? a guide to modding, eh? I was a mod back in my day.

Syk: Weally? I bet all our weaders would wove to here your stowy, Mr. Snipes!

Wesley: I?m sorry? I can?t understand one frickin? thing you say. I?m gone. (walks out)

Syk: Call me! (turns back) Okay. As I was saying before that hunk of handsome Wesley Snipes came out, we were discussing what spam was. Now that you know, I will further edumacate woo in da wide world of other wules! Da next wule of the fowum is a biggy! No bad wanguage. This covers a wot of stuff, man! Swearing, sexual content, verbal abuse, and lots of other stuff I don?t care about. But that?s okay. I?m a mod.

DW: Mods should follow the rules.

Syk: Are woo still here?

DW: You told me I couldn?t leave ;_;

Syk: Well, make yourself wuseful and wash my underwear.

DW: What? O.o

Syk: NOW >: o

DW: You?re a stupid head! *runs off crying*

Syk: Oy? Anyways, I was saying more wules. Advertising is a bad thing! We don?t advertise on dese boards so watch out! But den again, dere?s your sig. That?s a good pwace to cheat us mods and advertise. Wait a second? you cheated me >: o

DW: God, you?re a dumbass.

Syk: Shouldn?t you be cweaning something? >: o

DW: Awww man?

Syk: Now den? I?m going to concwude dis lesson because you suck and cheated and that makes me mad. And sad. I?m gonna cwy now. Pwus, all da west of da wules are not important enough to continue with. Dis cwoses our first lesson. Woo have passed. Woo are now one step cwoser to becoming a mod like me. But not as sexy. That?s just Syk and Syk onwy.

DW: Bye everyone!

Syk: Get back to work!

DW: You suck, Syk! And smell bad!

Syk: Maybe I do suck? maybe I do smell? but I? umm? yeah? I?m done.

[Nate]

[color=gray]Hillarious DW...that was awesome. I epsecially like how the on guy claps twice..classic.

But sometimes i cannot understand a word he said. And, please don't tell me i have to wash underwear to be a mod. I don't touch that stuff. I wanna see lesson 2![/color]

[color=blue]~`(_Nate_)`~[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

No. He would've said u must, but don't give Syk ideas. Washing underwear would be torture XD

And the weird way he talks is all more part of the fun :)

[AuroraDragon]

That was the awsomest DW. *glomps* Taught me..... absolutly nothing. XD Except Syk will make you wash underwear.

(been awhile since I've been here, but you always keep me coming back DW!)

[Syk3]

Halarious as usual, Dragon Warrior. I almost couldn't get to the end, I was laughing so hard. Tears were streaming down my face. Literally. O.o

The speech impediment made all for the funnier, heh. Try reading it through out loud. XD I especially liked when the person clapped twice and then stopped, and when I ask about the speech thing.

Very good laugh. ;p

[Mimmsicle]

[COLOR=darkred]Giving Syk a speech impediment was a really smart move, it makes him less dictatorial [i]*cough*[/i]

I'll make no comment on grammar and such :p

Funny read - there is more coming you say ?

- Mimmi[/COLOR]

[terra]

[strike]DW, your sense of humor has always struck me as really weird, and now I know I'm vindicated.[/strike]

Very funny. Although, sorry to say, the speech impediment did get kind of annoying at times. But it was reminiscent of the priest in [i]Princess Bride[/i], which is always a classic bit of humor.

My favorite part was when he slayed you. ;) ;) And then when you said, "Um, you killed me."

[Dragon Warrior]

XD Yes. He did kill me. And it hurt ;_;

But the speech impediment must stay, I'm sorry. It's the only true thing I actually took from the real Syk3 ;)

And yes, Mimmi, more to come. I just have to write it :<

[Syk3]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Dragon Warrior [/i]
[B]But the speech impediment must stay, I'm sorry. It's the only true thing I actually took from the real Syk3 ;)[/B][/QUOTE]
For the record, I do not have a speech impediment. <_< Not that there's anything wrong with that, I have a brother who has a small one, but I really don't. o.<'

[Brasil]

Am I the only one who noticed a similarity to Homestar Runner?

[Dragon Warrior]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by PoisonTongue [/i]
[B]Am I the only one who noticed a similarity to Homestar Runner? [/B][/QUOTE]

Riiiight... what's so similar about it? O.o

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[center][b]Lesson #2:[/b][u] Tools Needed[/u][/center]

Syk: Now that I?m finished cwying, we can start on the newest lesson! Tools Needed! In dis lesson, we?ll be talking about the suppwies we?ll be using durwing this fun and exciting course!

DW: Hey, Syk!

Syk: Dwagon Warrior. What are woo doing here?

DW: You told me I had to come into work today. You wanted me to bring you those magazines.

Syk: *sweats* Heh heh. What magazines? I don?t know about any magazines. *punches DW* Whoops. Looks like DW needs a wittle nap. While he sweeps, we may start.

Janitor: Hehehehehe?

Syk: What? What?s so funny?

Janitor: Oh nothing. It?s just your speech impediment. It?s classic.

Syk: What speech impediment ;_; Why does evewyone keep on mentioning a speech impediment?

Janitor: Because you--

DW: Are sexy! Yeah! That?s it. Sexy. *slays Janitor*

Janitor: Ow! Hey! Dying hurts, ya know!

Syk: Ohhhh! I understand now. My sexiness equals speech impediment. It all makes sense now. Thanks, Dwagon.

DW: Uhh? yeah. Sure thing.

Syk: Cwean my underwear >: o

DW: What is with you and cleaning underwear?

Syk: Do it!

DW: No, damnit!

Syk: Okay? then could woo get da mail instead?

DW: Yeah, I guess I could do that. Where?s your mailbox?

Syk: Second one to the weft on the eighth row.

DW: Gotcha. *runs off*

Syk: Anyways, wet?s get started, shall we?

[b]Later? in some factory thingy?[/b]

Syk: Dis is da factowy where us mods go to when we need a wepair or need to purchase an item from our local suppwiers. As woo can see, dese men work der asses off just to bwing us what we need.

Random Worker: Damn straight, you greedy ****.

Syk: Oh, my word! What a mouth woo have on werself!

Random Worker: I?m sorry? it?s the pills-SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! *runs off*

Syk: O.o;

Some Dude: Sorry about him, man. He?s totally up da hizzle, word!

Syk: What?

Some Dude: He got all up in your kool-aid and I was like, woah, man, back off, but he was like, dude, you?re getting? all up in my game, and I was like, you be trippin?, and he was all like, wooooahhh man, you?re crazy! I didn?t mean it! And I was like, that?s right! Don?t be bringing that trash into my house unless you lookin? to hit da dirt, word! Tru dat! Give me some skin, my brotha!

Syk: O.o

Some Dude: Word.

Syk: O.o

Some Dude: Word.

Syk: O.o

Some Dude: Word.

Syk: What are woo exactly twying to say, you cwazy pewson?

Some Dude: Say what, dawg?

Syk: What was dat?

Some Dude: Dude, you?re talkin? rhymes, man! Dat?s not my rhythm. You be treaddin?? all over dis turf!

Syk: *slowly steps away*

[b]Later?[/b]

Syk: Dat was a wittle scawy, but we are alwight and dat?s what matters. Oh wait? what ever happened to Dwagon Warrior?

[b]Meanwhile?[/b]

DW: Hey, I?m back with your-where did he go? Hm. He was just here. I hope he didn?t go to some factory somewhere. That?d suck. Maybe I should wait here. He shouldn?t be long.

[b]Back with Syk3...[/b]

Syk: I tink I?ll take a wong time to do dis lesson. As I showed woo, dere are many tools built here at dis factowy. For starters, dere?s the almighty [b]MOD WOD[/b]. Very powerful.

Random Worker: It?s a Mod [I]ROD[/I], not Mod Wod, ass.

Syk: People are so nice awound here, it makes me giggle with gwee! But anyways, awwow me to demonstrate the power of da Mod Wod. Men, bwing me my Wabbit of Wage!

Men: Wabbit of Wage? What the hell is that?

Syk: Not wabbit of wage. I said wabbit of wage!

Guy: O.o

Guy2: WTF?

Guy3: This guy?s a crackjob.

Syk: What?s wong wit woo people? Get me my WABBIT FO WAGE!

Guy: Look, man, there?s no such thing as a wabb-

Syk: Do it or you?re fired!

Guy: Get the man his wabbit of wage.

Guy2: But sir, there isn?t such a thing as-

Guy: Get him the damn wabbit. Our jobs depend on it!

Guy2: Right. *runs off*

Syk: Excelwent. As we wait, woo people out dere, I will tell woo about other mod weapons and tools. Dere is da [b]Topic Mover[/b], used to move topics, da [b]Cwoser[/b], which is used to cwose threads, and also da [b]Thingy[/b], which I?m not entirely sure what it does.

Guy2: Back! Here?s your wabbit, sir.

Syk: Ah good? you bwought me my wab-*sees a turkey in Pjs*-WTF? What da hell is dis? Some kind of joke?

Guy3: But sir, we?re not sure what a wabbit is and-

Syk: Because it?s a funny joke! Wet?s all waugh at it!

Guy: Erm? okay.

Guy2: Sounds good.

[I]And they all laughed?[/I]

[b]Meanwhile?[/b]

DW: I?m confuzzled to da meh ;_;

Some Dude: Maaaannn? don?t be dissin? on dis crap, dude! Yo gotta get all dat bling bling and get da 411 on da biatch! She?s a slut and you don?t know what?s up!

DW: What the hell are you talking about.

Some Dude: I don?t know ;_;

[Brasil]

Oops, lol. I guess I hadn't finished the post.

What I meant was, Syk's dialogue and narration have a similar inflection to a character from Homestarrunner.com. The...character who wears the hat and has a star on his shirt...Homestar, I guess. "Witches bwrew." He talks with an odd speech impediment.

[Dragon Warrior]

Ah, well that explains alot ^_^ Facts are, the only character from this "Homestar Runner" site I've even heard of/seen is Strongbad. But he is the shiznit, nevertheless. I'll have a look at Homestar and see your point :)

[Raiha]

[color=royalblue]l think that DW is insinuating that all workers in factories are black people that speak ebonics.

Is that racial profiling or racism at its finest?[/color]

[KarmaOfChaos]

[COLOR=deeppink]
=\ Someone deleted my beautiful, in depth, awesome analysis of your story! * coughs * Oh well. Really amusing story DW, although it makes me doubt your sanity and/or self-esteem. o.o Honestly, Syk3's personal servant? That is a sad, sad place to be.

Unless of course you're Shinmaru, and you're his biatch. Then it's just funny. ^.^

Just kidding. ^.~

-Karma[/COLOR]

[Shinmaru]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by KarmaOfChaos [/i]
[B][COLOR=deeppink]
=\ Someone deleted my beautiful, in depth, awesome analysis of your story! * coughs * Oh well. Really amusing story DW, although it makes me doubt your sanity and/or self-esteem. o.o Honestly, Syk3's personal servant? That is a sad, sad place to be.

Unless of course you're Shinmaru, and you're his biatch. Then it's just funny. ^.^

Just kidding. ^.~

-Karma[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]

Let me just say how surprised I was when I saw your name replying to this thread o.o Welcome back, Karmi! ^_^

Haha, anyway I've read the whole thing and this is one whacked out story lol. Funny stuff you have here, Gavynn. You know what would be really hilarious? If members read this in lieu of the rules. Then there would be mass chaos. Is that what you want, Gavynn? Is it?

[Ben]

*is quietly taking notes* :toothy:

Heh, very nice DW. Your use of random humor gets me every time. :whoops:

[Dragon Warrior]

Why, thank you, Ben. I hope it does. And yes, Shinmaru, that's my plan :devil:

Karmi, this is actually the first time I've lowered myself BELOW Syk. Trust me, Syk in my stories is always something bad. I thought he was due for a change. But check out his role in my new story "Pirates of the Otakuboards" here in the literature section. You'll know better :)

And Raiha, I didn't even picture them as black. White guys who are silly talk like that too. "Some Dude" was white, actually. Racist is not I :<

Anyways, new lesson!
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[center][b]Lesson #3:[/b] [u]Learning Mod Skills[/u][/center]

Syk: Hewwo again. Today?s lesson, we will wearn about how to use mod skills. Dis pawticular lesson is vewy important for many weasons. You will use these mod skills to make members obey your power.

DW: Tell them about the armadillos, Syk!

Syk: I?m getting dere, damnit! Anyways, yes, the awmadillos are a vewy sewious pawt of Mod Twaining. Ya see, awmadillos will twy murdering woo many times. Dey never succeed on me.

DW: Uh? Syk?

Syk: What now, Dwagon Warrior?

Armadillo: You talkin? smack about us?

Syk: Eep! So many of woo! Er? no! I?m not tawking whatever woo said about woo!

Armadillo: He?s lyin?, boys.

Syk: What?

Armadillo: Get the Bamboo Ninja and the Karate Kangas.

Syk: ;_;

[I]Syk was then beaten to a bloody pulp.[/I]

DW: Hey all! I?m Dragon Warrior. Since Syk3 seems to be under some serious medication, I?ll be doing his job for today?s lesson.

[I]Suddenly, the member, Shinmaru, appears.[/I]

DW: Members need to be taught lessons. And to do so, you?ll need your mod tools *The Mod Rod appears in DW?s hand* and your Mod Skills *his other hand becomes electrified*. Now let?s see what happens when members disobey the rules. Go ahead, Shinmaru.

Shinmaru: No way!

DW: Do it!

Shinmaru: I don?t wanna die ;_;

DW: You won?t die. You?ll be brutally harmed.

Shinmaru: Awww, man?

DW: SPAM, DAMNIT!

Shinmaru: FINE! Alright, alright. Yeesh. *posts a one-sentence post with all swear words* There. Are you happ- *is killed*

DW: Yep. Good ole Mod Skills. I just used the ability ?Ban? that?s only available to the admins of a board. Sometimes there are mods who are privileged.

Shinmaru: You? lied? ;_;

DW: Shut up >: o *uses Mod Rod on Shinmaru*

Shinmaru: X.x

DW: Better :) Anyways, let?s continue, shall we?

[b]Later?[/b]

DW: Welcome to the Museum of Natural Mod History. Here we can explore the wonders of the mod powers you will inherit if you become a mod. The first one is the ?Closer?. This unique skill closes topics! *walks over to Shinmaru who?s on a computer* Shinmaru?

Shinmaru: OH GOD! Not you!

DW: Please make a spammy thread, sir.

Shinmaru: You kidding? I?m not going to- *is beaten down by the Mod Rod* Okay? o.. kay? *makes the thread ?Why Does the Moon Eat Pie??*

DW: Good. In a matter of minutes, bad-posting members will spammify this topic like mad! There will also be the occasional people who ?pretend-mod?, which is where they act as a mod, though, they?re not. Like what I?m doing right now!

Shinmaru: Dragon Warrior? my topic has 144 replies and they?re all people swearing, talking sexy, and eating flapjacks in a washing machine.

DW: Excellent work, Shinmaru. Take this. *kills Shinmaru* Now, as you can see, this topic is way overdue for a closing. So with one flick of your magic finger *wiggles his index finger* That?s odd? that should work? maybe it?s another finger *wiggles middle finger and the topic is closed with a nifty last post from the moderator telling why it was closed*. There we go! See, by wiggling your finger, you can cast ?Closer? and the topic will be closed. Now, onward to the next skill. Come, Shinny!

Shinmaru: I taste blood ;_;

[b]Later?[/b]

DW: Now, here, Shinmaru is carefully posting a well-done thread about Lord of the Rings. But wait! This topic is in [size=4][I]THE WRONG FORUM!!![/I][/size]

Shinmaru: AHHHH! *has heart attack*

DW: Since it?s in the wrong forum, the moderator of the forum it was posted in can select the skill ?Move Topic? and actually move the topic to the correct forum. Watch. *wiggles index finger* Hm. *wiggles middle finger* Why is it always that one? But ahem? as you can clearly see, the topic is now moved to the Movie Forum. Woopee!

Shinmaru: Can I go home now?

DW: No >: o I had to suffer like this for Syk SO YOU SUFFER FOR ME!

Shinmaru: But who suffers for me?

DW: I dunno :< Go play.

Shinmaru: YAY! *runs off*

[b]Later for a third time?[/b]

DW: I?m here at one of our last skills that I?m going to mention. The ability to sticky topics. You?ll probably see the little topic icon with a pushpin in it. Like this? *stabs a pushpin in a man*

Man: AHHHH!!! OH MY GOD! AHHH! *collapses from loss of blood*

DW: Yep. When we do that, that makes the topic stuck at the top of the page until it?s unstickied. A very useful tool.

Man: Doctor?

DW: Well, besides the abilities to change topic titles, post in other people?s posts, delete things, and other shizzle, that concludes this lesson because I believe Syk3 is waking up. *runs off*

[b]Meanwhile? with Syk?[/b]

Syk: Woah. What a weird dweam. I guess I better do my show now. *stands up* Today?s lesson is on- *is beaten down by DW using the Mod Rod*

DW: Bye, everyone! :)

[AuroraDragon]

Armadillos Gavynn? XD What will you think of next? Your ideas are always the best though, keep it up!
Poor Shinmaru, he's never given a break....

[Dragon Warrior]

I tend to give Shinmaru the best of parts, thank you :) Just not this time. He's usually my sidekick or even better, the main character like in "Shinmaru Gets a Job." Those are the good ole days.

[Guest Heezay]

Ha! I love your story, lol. Although I don't take it seriously. *turns and glances at the piles of notes behind him*.....umm. Anyway, great work with the story.

[Dragon Warrior]

Thanks, Heezay. I'll probably have lesson 4 up today. And Syk3 told me he was rather sad he couldn't hear the sweet, sweet sound of the speech impediment in Lesson 3, so I'll make sure he gets what he wants in Lesson 4 XD Aye?

[Ellerby]

[color=royalblue]
*finishes notes*

Lrb: Well Dwagon Warrior. I tink it's funny dat you gave Syk a speech impewoment. I mween, I feeo sowwy foe anyone who has a speech impewoment.

*Syk3 comes and beats Lrb for bad use of spelling*

Lrb: Ow. Well anyways. That was really good Gavynn. I can't eait 'till the next one. Much better the PotO. Heh heh.. poto.[/color]

[DeadSeraphim]

Tha shiz Dragon Warrior. You should put a cameo of Homestar in there in Lesson 4, to dispute rights to speech impediment. Anyway its funny as hell, and Shinmaru got whats coming to him for ruining that banner oh so long ago...

[roymund]

I mod alot of smaller forums around and about the web (ADDRESS WITHELD DUE TO SPAM REGS ;) ) Mind if I... Ummmmm.... 'Liberate' This topic? :LOL:

PS: Might as well say yes. No way of telling if I do and you say no! :P