Writing A Day in the Life of a Dubber

[Bandit Joeykuba]

Author's note: This is my pathetic attempt at a comedy starring a dubber. It sucks because I'm typing it right off the top of my head. XP

Dubber 'F', knwon as John back when he had a life, walked wearily to his car. Just another hard day of work here at 4Kids Studios.

Dubber 'F' hated his job. He loathed having to figure out idiotic ways to "kiddy"-fy shows like Pokemon and Yu-gi-Oh. It annyoed to no end when his boss would tell him that "It's too violent!" or "The kids might get the wrong idea!"

He had started life off as a normal person. How he ended up here, we may never know. But we do know that, now, 'F' is the slave to immense censoring.

"Damn this hell-hole! I wish it would burn to the ground!" He shouted, only to find hiself being corrected by a co-worker, Dubber 'T', who was also leaving.

"I think you mean, 'I love this, my work place! I wish it many happy, fuzzy things!'" 'T' smiled. 'F' glared, automatically hating the guy. It was obvious 'T' had been brain-washed or something.

'F' started his car and left the 4Kids building quickly, wishing to return to his apartment. The apartment was 'F''s freedom from the opression of the dub.

When 'F' arrived home, he automatically grabbed his laptop and checked his e-mail.

"Oh looky-here! Another hundred flames about the ridiculously high dubbing standards that the fans just hate. Whoop-dee-do." He sighed. Why did the fans hate him? IT wasn't his fualt! It was that damn 4Kids!

Dubber 'F' was about to delete all of the e-mails when he noticed a strange one. It was from [email][email protected][/email]. He clicked on it and read its creepy message.

'We know who you are. You will join us soon enough.'

'F' disconnected from the internet and put away his laptop, disturbed and highly confused.

Thoughts raced through the dubber's mind: Who are they? What does 'atacafia' stand for? What was he going to have for supper?

He didn't know that he would find the answer to these questions and more.

[Lady Asphyxia]

[size=1]You know, I've been meaning to post in here for a few days, but for some reason I always got sidetracked.

Anyway, you can tell this hasn't been revised, but that's okay. With revision it will become a lot smoother.

The problem I have with this piece is the [i]Dubber 'F'[/i] thing. I mean...I suppose if it were a nickname, I could accept the '' around the F, but it seems to be a classification, like 236. You wouldn't say Dubber '236', you'd leave it as 236 without the inverted commas. I think you should just get rid of them. They're very distracting, especially when you use the term as much as you do in the piece.

I think you need to get into the mind of the character more. [i]Why[/i] does F hate 4Kids Studios? Why does he hate dubbing? Is he disillusioned about it? F has a lot of seemingly irrational anger.

I think at the moment F is a very one dimensional character. He isn't very deep. The reader can't see what his thoughts are, except for what he says -- and what you say isn't always what you mean.

With revision, this piece [i]will[/i] become a lot smoother. When you start to include details of his surroundings -- what F's apartment looks like, why he hates the dubbing [or why he got into it in the first place], and why he's angry, this piece will become very good. ^_^

Cheers,

.:Asphy:.[/size]

[DeathBug]

[color=indigo][font=century][size=1]Well, I can't say much, seeing as it's only the first lil section, but looks like it has great potential. ^__^ [/color][/size][/font]

[Circ]

I shall follow this too, as it does have great potential for humor.