Writing Euphoric fear

[lea]

[COLOR=blue]
As the angry frustration mixes with heavy pain

It builds a pressure I know I cannot contain.

I need to let it out, to find a release

To let my raging emotions leave me in peace.

As I trace designs with my pretty knife

I think about my messed up life.

I watch the red rise and grow

As it becomes a strong flow.

I grab some tissues to clean up the mess

To make the river flow less

As my cuts cry their tears

I feel a sense of euphoric fear.

I know my cuts will physically spill the secret

As I tell myself to keep it.
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[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink]
o.o The suicide poetry, it is everywhere.

I really liked the last two lines though, the rhyming and the message are such a simple proclimation of losing it in every possible way, losing control, and losing your sense of sanity.

Good stuff.

-Karma
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[lea]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by KarmaOfChaos [/i]
[B][color=deeppink]
o.o The suicide poetry, it is everywhere.
[/color] [/B][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=blue]Well...technically, this isn't really about suicide.
Thank you for the comments, though ^_^ [/COLOR]

[The Vampire: Ed]

Actually, overall it's a very good poem, all though you could present it a little better perhaps with some punctuation and such. It's not necessary really since it still gets the point across, but it would make it look nicer and probably help the reader determine where someone would pause and such if the words were coming out of their own mouths. Besides that I really don't think the last two lines work together. Everything up until the last two lines flowed well, and fit together nicely but those last two lines leave your poem with a weak ending. So those could be written a little better. Anyway, that's just my opinion, and I feel if you fixed those "problems," or at least the last two lines, it would be near perfect, if not perfect. Aside from the technical stuff this poem expressed a lot of emotion, and it gives you a very good understanding of how much a person's anger can boil over. Good work.

I'd say to continue writing poetry, you're very good from what I can make of this one poem.

[lea]

[COLOR=blue]Yeah, I felt the ending was weak, but I wasn't sure how else to end it. If anyone has any suggestions, I would consider them (Yeah, I am a bit new at poetry...just wait untill I have more expirience) [/COLOR]

[Patronus]

[size=1][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by lea2385 [/i]
[B][COLOR=blue]
I watch the red rise and grow

As it[/color] [b]begins to overflow[/b][/B][/QUOTE]

That's all I'd change about this poem. It's more... emotional, let's say, in my perspective.

Bye, lealotsofnumbers. :D[/size]