Writing Second Draft

[Raiha]

[center][COLOR=royalblue]You might have noticed the first version of this poem in the Today's Poem thread.

Today in our AP World Liturature class...we were told to write about what we knew of love, our experiences with love, or our ideals of love. Either way, this is what I've learned from loving and then losing that love. Anything I should change? What do you think?[/color]
[color=silver]~~~~~~~~~~~~[/COLOR]
[COLOR=purple]-Cliche-

I will not say,
That it is better to have loved,
Than not to have loved at all,
At least not in the traditional way.

I have loved,
To the point of giving up my life,
But it was simply not meant to be,
And I cried for the loss inflicted upon me.

We were different,
I did not love him as he loved me,
And he told me that my love was useless,
And that he hated me for it.

I loved him so deeply,
And was hurt by his words,
But more by his actions,
And the realization that it was my fault for loving.

I now know,
What love is willing to do,
And what it is to feel pain,
But mostly how it feels to be replaced.

So in a sense,
It is better that I have loved and learned,
And seen what I will do to end something,
That prevents me from moving on.

I cry sometimes,
And I feel heartsick,
But I know that although I am alone,
I will heal and find somone who wants my kind of love.[/COLOR] [/center]

[Lady Asphyxia]

[size=1]Very nice poem, Raiha. It's simple, it flows, and it even [i]rhymes[/i].The feeling is resigned and a little sad, but definately hopeful and determined near the end. It's a 'loved and learned' kind of poem.

I really don't think you should change anything. It's really quite a marvellous poem.[/size]

[Raiha]

[color=royalblue]*curtsys* You are highly extravagant with your praise.

That's good.

Oh yes, and that rhyme was not noticed until you pointed it out. It wasn't even on purpose.[/color]