Writing -Pirates of the Otakuboards-

[Dragon Warrior]

[CENTER][img]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?postid=549287[/img][/center]

Arg, matie! 'Tis a swashbuckling parody of that ole seadog-worthy tale known as Pirates of the Caribbean! But ye be warned. It includes some ghastly members of OB in it like Dragon Warrior, Syk, and even that freaky, deaky KKC. This'll be told similar to the plot of POTR, but it isn't it exactly, savvy? It's also too long to fit into one post so prepare for more, maties! So grab a pint, pull up a broken chair that someone hit another pirate over the head with, and get ready to enter the great Caribbean world of OTAKUBOARDS! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAA-God... I'm thirsty.

[center]-----
[u]Cast[/u][/center]

[IMG]http://myimages.fourvalve.com/dragonwarrior/captainDW.JPG[/IMG]
[b]Name:[/b] Captain Dragon Warrior (DW)
[b]Age:[/b] Unknown
[b]Occupation:[/b] Pirate
[b]Role:[/b] To Help Shin Turner
[b]Description:[/b] He is the funny captain of the Off-white Gem? er? or was the captain. That is, until the crew committed mutiny and killed his best friend Shinstrap Shin. Now he finds himself wrapped back up in the whole mess of a bloody curse, his old ship mates, and a great love story, which he must help mend. Just poke out his bloody eyes, already!

[IMG]http://myimages.fourvalve.com/dragonwarrior/shinmaru.JPG[/IMG]
[b]Name:[/b] Shinstrap Shin
[b]Age:[/b] 23
[b]Occupation:[/b] Pirate
[b]Role:[/b] To Die
[b]Description:[/b] Best friend of Captain DW who also dies a horrible death in a great battle. After cursing the crew of the Off-White Gem, the crew causes another mutiny and reelecting a new captain of the Off-White Gem, Captain Syk.

[IMG]http://myimages.fourvalve.com/dragonwarrior/captainsyk.JPG[/IMG]
[b]Name:[/b] Captain Syk3 (Syk)
[b]Age:[/b] Old and Smelly (Though, smelly is not an age)
[b]Occupation:[/b] Captain of the Off-White Gem
[b]Role:[/b] To Get Rid of the Curse
[b]Description:[/b] He was once a loyal shipmate under the command of Captain DW when things got ugly and a mutiny occurred. Though Shinstrap Shin was elected as the new captain, he quickly cursed the crew and was killed. So now, with all possible choices of captain out of the way, Syk3 took the helm and became the new leader of the angry crew. He and his crew are now searching for the blood of Shin?s only heir because they were stupid enough to kill Shin before actually thinking about ready the fine print on the cracker box.

[IMG]http://myimages.fourvalve.com/dragonwarrior/shinmaru.JPG[/IMG]
[b]Name:[/b] Shinmaru Turner (Shin)
[b]Age:[/b] 20
[b]Occupation:[/b] Bad Blacksmith
[b]Role:[/b] To Save K.K.C.
[b]Description:[/b] He?s dead sexy, but stupid (also the spittin' image of Shinstrap Shin. Eww.. spit). He?s the only son of Shinstrap Shin and will be the one who the pirates will be looking for, though it may be all messed up and whack when KKC (the dumb broad) says her last name is Turner. Shizzle, man! Now Shin has to get up off his ass and save that damn biatch!

[IMG]http://myimages.fourvalve.com/dragonwarrior/KKC.JPG[/IMG]
[b]Name:[/b] K.K.C. Swan (KKC)
[b]Age:[/b] 20
[b]Occupation:[/b] Being a Dumb Broad
[b]Role:[/b] Stupid Biatch
[b]Description:[/b] She?s hott, but an idiot. Saying her name was Turner was not the best idea because now she?s going to be involved in some voodoo cracker ritual to lift a deadly curse off of some decapitating pirates! Weee! I wanna be her!


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[center][b]Prologue[/b][/center]

Our story begins deep within the Otakuboards, in a vast place of lush tropical vegetation and shizzle. The place was quite a riot and a hot spot for tourists coming along to see the latest attractions such as people getting shot out of cannons, cannons getting shot out of cannons, people being shot by cannons, and the amazing cannon-eating cannon man who was shot twice by a cannon man?s cannon. But naturally, the best of the attractions is the filming. Lots of Hollywood films take place in this big Caribbean.

In fact, right now, people are filming Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. The strange thing is, movies weren?t around until the 1900?s and here we are in the 1700?s. Go figure. But anyways, Pirates of the Caribbean was [I]such[/I] a boring movie, they decided to drop the whole thing and video tape real pirate action. It just so happens that they were about to find some.


A man from the film crew was sitting in his crow?s nest when he took out a video camera and zoomed in on an island where a pirate ship was docking. ?Holy crap!? He was so excited, he fell off the crow?s nest to the watery depths, but no one really cared because they had extra cameramen around. It just so happens that another cameraman saw the island too and he was on the main deck so there was so problem except for the fact he slipped on the wet floor and fell off the boat. But finally, a cameraman was some skill of walking approached the director with the news. ?Sir, there?s an island that cannot be found, but was found and is now found by people so it?s no longer nonfound and therefore is found because it was found and as such it shouldn?t have the name of an island that cannot be found because it was found and I?m redundant.?

?Excellent work, you doofus,? said the director, knocking the cameraman off the boat to follow routine. He then looked over the starboard side to view the island. It was dark and mysterious, sending chills down everyone?s spines.

?Hey, did anyone else feel that chill?? one man asked.

?Yeah. Talk about weird,? another said.

?Anyone want the rest of my sub? I don?t wanna get fat.?

?Quiet, you fools!? the director scolded. ?I hear something.? They all listened to the silence in the air, wondering if the director actually did hear something or if that one time they hit him over the head with a large stage light had some effect on his brain and hearing. They didn?t bother telling him about that little incident, so hush hush ;)

Then, there it was. The sound the director heard. A frightening sound to all grown men and women? teenage punk rock.

?Good God, those must be pirates. Only the despicable could listen to such mindless droning and horrific resonance!? The director began running around the deck, tripping over random objects, and barking orders. ?Get ready to pull in! Get the cameras ready! Where are all my cameramen??

?Overboard, Mr. Director,? said the janitor, who was cleaning up feces.

?Lazy bums,? the director muttered. ?They?d do anything to get out of a job. Even drown themselves. Very well.? The director grabbed a camera and shoved it in the janitor?s arms. ?You?re now a cameraman.?

The janitor smiled without many teeth. ?It?s finally Janken?s turn to shine!? The director then came back and snatched the camera.

?Sorry,? he said. ?Found someone better.?

?Aww? I guess it?s back to swabbin? the poop deck.? He went back to mopping up feces (I think we took the term ?poop deck? a little too seriously here) as the director helped navigate the ship into it?s port. Once they parked the ship and they turned off the safety-belt sign, everyone stepped out onto the sand and walked up to the main door of the pirate hideout.

?Wot?s all this, then?? said a British Officer approaching the ship the film crew came on. ?High-tech cameras, stage lights, film-recording studio within the captain?s cabin? I say, you must be boot-legging. This is all from the 20th century.?

The director waved his hands. ?I reassure you that we?re foreign tourists.?

?I don?t believe you, wot wot!? said the British Officer. ?You?re under arrest for being from the future.?

?Look who?s talking!? snapped the director. ?You?re from the future yourself! No one wears those clothes these days and the way you talk with the ?wot wot? and stuff? totally future, man.?

?I? uhh? carry on, then.? And he left.

?That was odd.?

?Shut up, Steve Urkle,? scolded the director.

?I?m not sure what I?m doing in this anyways. I?m old now. Hahahahaha!?


Meanwhile, the pirates are in their hideout working hard? and PARTYING! Sum41 music is going with the disco ball and everything! ?This party is so sycadellic, man!? said one pirate.

?Totally,? replied another pirate and they clanged drinks, then chugged. Just then, the crew came in and looked around. The director snorted.

?This doesn?t look very much like pirate life.? Suddenly, everything halted and the pirates looked at the film crew. ?Ah? I mean? how authentic.? They still got glares. The director looked around at their angry faces, then kindly and playfully poked at one of their hats. ?I like your hat.?

The film crew was beaten up.


When they woke up, they saw what this WHOLE story is really about. Who seemed to be the captain of these vicious pirates was none other than Shinstrap Shin. This, of course, is not that mean of a pirate, but a very wise and sexah man. ?Boys,? began Shinstrap, ?Today we take home this big treasure box.?

?Duuuuude,? the pirates all said in unison.

?That?s right. Dude. Now I?m going to open this.? Shinstrap turned and the film crew watched patiently. Actually, the film crew were squirming and the pirates had to shoot most of them and when I say shoot them, I mean give them candy to suck on. Once that was done, Shinstrap took the cloth off a large square and revealed a big box stating ?CRACKERS? in big, bold print.

?Wow,? said one pirate known as Lrb. ?What do you think is inside??

?Oh, for God sakes,? Shinstrap said, marching up to the box. ?Can?t you read? It clearly says sausages! Now let?s open this bad boy.?

?Yeah!? the pirates cheered and Shinstrap opened the top and peered inside.

?What do you know,? he said with a bit of sadness. ?They?re crackers.?

?Meh, good enough,? said a pirate.

?Yeah,? agreed Shin. ?Now each of you only get two,? he continued as the pirates formed a line and took two crackers each. ?Only two. We need to make sure everyone gets-HEY! Blackbeard. I saw that. Put the third one back.?

?Awww man,? Blackbeard pouted, chucking the cracker at the box, but missing and having it land on the floor.

?Blackbeard. Don?t throw it. Now come pick it up and put it back in the box.?

?Oh my God, you are so ridiculous!? Blackbeard complained and rammed it into the box.

?Good. Now if there?s enough left, you may have another.?

?Yeah, like that?d happen,? Blackbeard sulked, sitting on his velvet cushion.

?Man, what a bitch,? Shinstrap said under his breath. By that time, all the pirates had a cracker or two and were eating. The box was now empty. But something was wrong.

?Hey,? Lrb said suddenly. ?I feel cursed.?

?What?? another pirate said.

?It?s true,? Lrb continued. ?I feel cursed.?

?How the hell do you feel cursed?? one pirate asked. ?I mean, you don?t just feel cursed.?

?I dunno. Call it a hunch.?

?No, this is no hunch,? argued a third pirate. ?That?s a hunch,? he said, pointing to Quasi Motto?s back.

?Hey, I have feelings too, ya know,? the Hunchback said, running off crying.

?Now look what you did,? Shinstrap said.

?Wait,? Lrb interrupted the ruckus. ?This is all Shinstrap?s fault! She cursed us.?

?Umm? Shinstrap?s a he.?

?Oh yeah,? Lrb said, recalling him being called a boy before. ?Then HE cursed us!?

?Like we said before, how the hell do you know??

?Guys?? said Syk3 from the back of the cave. ?I?ve got a freckle.? The whole room was suddenly filled with girlish screams, though no women were present.

?Don?t scare us like that, Syk,? one pirate said worryingly.

?I?m not joking,? Syk protested. ?LOOK!? He held up the back of his hand and sure enough, there was a freckle. The room once again had the resonance of women shrieks.

?Guys!? Lrb shouted again.

?What now, Lrb? Can?t you see Syk is cursed??

?So am I!? Lrb griped. ?I have? phlegm.? The room was stunned.

?Maybe we really are cursed,? one man said. Another man ran screaming through the cave and jumped out through a window. Wait? there isn?t a window. Hm. Odd.

?It was Shinstrap?s fault!? Syk carped. ?He cursed us with his crackers!?

?That?s what I said,? Lrb yelled with anger before he was thrown out that same window that was oddly not there in the first place.

?It was probably because we mutinied his friend Dragon Warrior on that God-Forsaken island out in the middle of Otakuboards,? Syk went on.

?Yeah!? cried the crew.

?I say we kill Shin!?

?What?!? one pirate yelped.

?Kill him?? another repeated. ?But that?s murder. We?re the Southern Pirates. We don?t murder.?

?Oh yeah, I forgot,? Syk recalled. ?Well? let?s just dangle him over a vat of sharks then. Until he gets nasty rope burn!?

?Yeah!? the crew erupted again and Shinstrap was carried off to the ship to be dangled and get nasty rope burns. Ouch, those hurt in the shower. Stings like hell, it does. Anyways, so they?re on the ship and are dangling him over the vat of sharks when suddenly, a flying iguana with a knife cuts the rope and Shinstrap falls to his doom with one final girlish scream.

?That was unexpected,? Syk said. ?I guess I?m captain.?

?Cool,? said the crew.

?Wait, sir,? said one acne-infested teenager who happened to be aboard the ship with the fine-print from the cracker box. ?It seems that you needed Shinstrap?s blood to lift the curse, for some reason.?

?Let me see that,? the new captain said, grabbing it out of the greasy hands of the teenage punk. He began reading. [I]It is to be known that when one takes two crackers or more from this box, they will be cursed for a long time and stuff. So long it makes me need to potty a little. But no worries! If you find some dude named Shinstrap or one of his heirs, don?t kill them by dangling them over a vat of sharks. Instead, take some blood and lift the curse. Woopee! But if you killed them like the stupid morons you are, then you?re screwed. This is CNN.[/I] Captain Syk looked up from his paper and stared at his crew.

?Captain?? Lrb said worryingly.

?Excuse me for a minute, boys.? The crew evacuated the ship quickly. Once they were all gone, Syk opened his mouth and let out a loud cuss so great, that all of the Otakuboards could here it.

?Damn,? said the director who was going through the window of the cave at the time. ?Did anyone else hear that??

?Did I do that? Hahahahahahahaaha!?

?Shut up, Urkle.?

[center]----[/center]

More to come. :) Comments, pwease.

[Zidargh]

[color=darkblue] Well very spoof-like to say the least. You've obviously watched Pirates of the Carribean three times.

It entertained me very much and I look forward to the future chapters. However, don't get hooked up on the pure randomness as I like occasional descriptive descriptions to know where I am, heh.

It is a very good piece of work and alot of effort has gone into it obviously, I'm tired so that's all I have to say so far. I'll probably edit this later.[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Well, I'm not going to random with it. If you've noticed, it's around the storyline of the real film, just altered a bit. And I haven't watched POTC three times... I've watched it a bazillion times :)

[Gavin]

[color=#518CBD][font=trebuchet ms]Heh heh, great stuff Gavynn. I too have seen Pirates of the Carribean about a hundred million times and it's still good after that long. I look forward to seeing the next chapters in this humorous piratey adventure.[/color][/font]

[Dragon Warrior]

Heh. Thanks, Mr. Lynx ;) I'll post the next chapter today, taking place where we first meet Shin Turner and KKC Swan :D

[KKC]

[size=1]*giggles* I was laughing so hard, my sister came down stairs and wacked me upside the head ( ;_; ).
Great stuff as always Master DW. I just hope I get to chill with the sexy Jack Sparrow rip-off. Can't wait to read the next chapter ^^

Dude, Shinstrap is sooo awesome..... [/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

Why is Shinstrap so awesome? He's in one scene out of the whole story? XD

And we'll see if you can chill with teh sexahness that is Captain DW :)

[TheShinje]

[size=1][color=#3366CC] A piece of comical genius. DW you've done it yet again.

I was laughing from start to finish. Poor Shinstrap. They didn't like him too much did they?

Well, I look forward to seeing Captain DW in the upcoming chapters, my guess is that you be the Jack Sparrow of this parody no?

what else can be said about this Pulitzer prize winning epic... Savvy?[/size][/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

New chapter! Bwee!

[center][b]Chapter 1: Drowning?s For Yellabellies![/b][/center]

Around the same time the defeat of Shinstrap Shin occurred, a goofy-looking ship was sailing through the Caribbean waters near the island of Noble Port. The figurehead of the ship happened to be a drunk, fat, naked man, which, of course, wasn?t all that appealing to the public. But the sailors believed it to be cursed anyways. The fat figurehead did talk.

?So?? it began talking to a fish in the water, ?You-you find me attractive do you?? There was just the sound of water. ?Shut up! You?re fired!?

?Silence, you stupid figurehead,? scolded Lieutenant OtakuSennen from above the wooden drunk.

?You-you?re not the boss of me, Mr. Peanut,? it shouted back.

?What?? OtakuSennen asked in confusion.

?You heard me, you whiny pooty!?

Tears welled up in OtakuSennen?s eyes and he ran off crying to Governor James. ?Governor James, that mean old figurehead called me a pooty! A POOTY!?

?That?s it,? said James, becoming rather frustrated. ?I?ll deal with this wooden scoundrel once and for all.? He dashed at the bow of the ship and leapt off into the water, not making the situation any better. He then drowned.

?Damnit,? one of the sailors cussed. ?Seems to be that Governor James has died again.?

?Third drowning this week,? another said.

?Good thing he?s all-powerful and immortal,? another put in.

?Enough, enough,? OtakuSennen sobbed. ?The more important matter is that [I]that[/I] vile figurehead called me a pooty!?

?Oh, shuddup,? Mr. Lynx said, slapping Lieutenant OtakuSennen upside the face. ?You make me sick and I sleep with PIGS!? The crowd on the ship went quiet.

?Cut it out, everyone,? James said, reappearing on the main deck with a blanket covering him. ?This chapter is already getting out of hand and we haven?t even met my daughter K.K.C. who is really the main character of this whole scene.?

Mr. Lynx let go of one of the ship?s ropes, causing a sail to swing around, hit James, and knock him off the boat again. ?Governor James is right! We need to stand together and make this chapter worth reading.?

?But he called me a pooty,? OtakuSennen wept.

?You are a pooty, you whiny little toad,? Mr. Lynx shouted. The crew gasped.

?Woah, woah, woah, man,? one sailor said, standing up against Mr. Lynx. ?The figurehead just called him a pooty. You called him a toad. That?s low, man. Real low.?

?Sorry,? Mr. Lynx said guiltily.

?Yeah,? said another sailor (there are lots of random people). ?I say we get back to work and let this chapter do its stuff.?

?Agreed,? another said.

?Aye!? one shouted.

?Yippee skippee!? some random dude shouted out with glee.

?Hey, did James die again??

And so it was decided. The crew would allow the chapter to go on. But not too far off was the filming crew who were floating on some stuff from that one place in that one time from that one day. ?I?m tired,? complained a lighting director.

?Shuddup,? the Director snapped. ?We?re getting good footage on this British Navy ship with the drunken figurehead.?

?But sir, someone put a bomb in our boat.?

?Oh, you and your stories, Lighting Director Guy.?

?No, I mean-? His boat was blown to smithereens.

?Oops, did I do-? Urkle was murdered.

?Anyways,? the Director began again, ?We don?t have a lighting director and we?re floating on some stuff we?re not sure what it is and we?re eating some green stuff we?re not too sure what it is and I have very bad hemorrhoids.?

Sorry. We meant to cut that out of the chapter. He?s a bit nasty, isn?t he? Just for the sake of it, we?ll aground the whole lot. There. Their debree was sunken. Once again, sorry, sorry.

Back with the real story, KKC Swan was chillin? at the bow of the boat, singing about pirates:

[center][i]Yo yo, yo yo, a motha ******* pirate?s dizzle fo? shizzle!

We bein? bad motha ******s, we be gettin? in yo kool-aid,
you be messin? my game, I?ve gotta get laid.

Yo yo, yo yo, a motha ******* pirate?s dizzle fo? shizzle!

I shizzled dat dizzle, he be hittin? da dirt,
and I got all his hoes, I make out with ?em, not flirt!

Yo yo, yo yo, a motha ******* pirate?s dizzle fo? shizzle!

And so I end this illin? rhyme with a couple of words to say,
if you be trippin? up da Caribbean, you betta do it da pimpin? way!

PEACE![/I][/center]


?What the ****?!? cursed Mr. Lynx. ?You singing crap like dat on board this vessel? You daft, woman??

?No,? KKC smiled. ?I can hear just fine.?

?That?s it!? Mr. Lynx said, unleashing Excalibur.

?Mr. Lynx,? said OtakuSennen from behind (he?d finished a good cry in the corner of the captain?s cabin previously from being called ?pooty? by the drunk figurehead). ?That?ll be enough. We all know you pulled the sword from the stone and that you like to go into fits of rage when someone says Bikini--?

?RAGH!? Mr. Lynx screamed.

?See? But it?s simply not that time. Now go mop up my tears because I?m a wussy.? As Mr. Lynx cussed as he left, Lieutenant OtakuSennen stepped up next to KKC as she looked out onto the ocean. ?Ya know what, Ms. Swan??

?What?? replied KKC.

?I had the strangest feeling that in eight years, I?ll want your body.?

?Silly you, OtakuSennen. You?re such a pooty!?

?Whaaaa?? OtakuSennen whimpered, tears coming to his eyes once more. ?Excuse me, I have something in my eye.? He ran off down the stairs, pushing James overboard as he rushed past him in a hurry.

?Five drownings,? a sailor said, flipping through the latest [b][I]Pirate Weekly[/I][/b]. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the film crew emerged from the fog in the distance. They barely held onto the junk that I left them after making them sink. Heh, heh. Suckers.

?Help us, damnit!? The Director yelled.

?I say,? said one sailor, squinting at the drowning figures in the distance. ?Are those people we must save??

?I?m not sure,? said the sailor?s friend.

?Well, I?m not going to save them.?

?Of course not. We may get our clothes wet.?

?That?d be absolutely ghastly!?

?Quite so.?

?Then we won?t save them??

?Maybe I?ll take a peek at who it is.?

?Ah. Very good.? The first sailor took out his telescope and zoomed in on the film crew.

?Oh, it?s just a film crew from those terrible Hollywood studios in California.?

?Oh, I say, let?s leave them.?

?Indeed.?

?For the best.? And so, the film crew ended up being devoured by sharks. But not too long after (once everyone had their box juices and pretzels), someone else showed up in the water. KKC was the first to notice him.

?Help,? the boy shouted. ?I?m drowning!?

?Hi,? KKC shouted with glee. ?What?s your name??

?Please, I need help!?

?Do you like Pokemon??

?I can?t--? He then sank into the water, but reemerged for split seconds.

?You?re funny,? KKC giggled. ?What?s your favorite apple??

?Oh my God,? James said, staring down at the drowning boy. ?Someone is drowning!?

?We must throw something out to him to keep afloat with!? A sailor shouted from the crowd.

?Right!? Mr. Lynx said, chucking Governor James overboard, but unfortunately drowning the poor sap once more. ?Crap.?

?Hey,? another sailor jumped in. ?Why not fish him out?? The crowd seemed to like the idea and so they brought the boy aboard. KKC immediately came over to him. He was unconscious. James, for the hundredth time, got back onboard and approached his daughter.

?Take care of him, aye, KKC? He?s your responsibility.?

?Okay, father!? KKC said so crazily that it frightened James until he backed up and fell off the boat, drowning. ?Silly daddy!? She then turned back to the boy. He was so calm and quiet. Just lying there. So peaceful in all his drool.

?WAKE UP!? she shouted, punching him in the face.

?What the hell?!? The boy then recognized KKC as the girl who laughed at him while he?s drowning. ?You laughed at me.?

?You were drowning,? she giggled.

?That?s not funny!? he scolded her. ?Besides, drowning?s for yellabellies.?

?I?m KKC Swan.?

?Who the **** cares?? Suddenly, Excalibur was at the boy?s throat with Mr. Lynx at the other end.

?I?m the only one who can swear in this story. Meh!? He then threw Excalibur nowhere in particular, but it happened to plant its blade in James? heart.

?Oh dear,? the Governor said before collapsing dead? again!

?Yes, sir,? the boy gulped. Once Mr. Lynx left, the boy scowled at KKC. ?My name is Shinmaru Turner and you?re dead! You hear me? DEAD!? He was then carried off below deck and KKC waved goodbye.

?He loves me,? KKC said, holding some pirate medallion in her hand. ?What the heck is this?? She threw it away, but it ended up planting itself in James? forehead.

?What are the chances?? the Governor moaned as he subsided for the eightieth time that day.

[DeadSeraphim]

If only James really had that option... He could be like a mild-mannered superhero, bravely defying unknown dangers to eradicate n00bs. Oh well. Great story DW, Looking forward to Chapter 2.

[Dragon Warrior]

Quite so, Mr. CrH. Quite so. But I don't think James would be an admin if he were immortal. He'd defy lots more dangers than dealing with new members :)

Chapter 2 sometime this weekend ;_;

[Ellerby]

[color=royalblue]
Now that's funny. I think I liked the first post better but it came pretty close! Brilliantness. Oh ya! It was great and quite humorous. I demand more![/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Oh, but you won't get more >: o

Actually, you will. As I said before, 2nd chapter tomorrow. It'll contain the scene where KKC Swan and Shin Tucker meet once more befoe they leave to a ceremony and I, Captain DW, make my first appearance as well :)

Bwee!

[KKC]

[size=1]OtakuSennen wants my body..... ;_; *steals your face* not funny...

I liked this chapter alot, poor James though, I wanted to give him a hug about 18 times through out that whole chapter. By the way, I was just really curious to ask this question.

You havn't mentioned anything about the funny white wigs, I thought that would pop up in the second chapter.... ;_; *steals your face*

That rap was very interesting, did you make the lyrics yourself? [/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

Don't worry. I was plotting something special for those wigs. That I was >: o

And why do you keep stealing my face? I know it's sexy, but c'mon!
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[center][b]Chapter 2: You Suxorz, Mr. Turner![/b][/center]

It?s now eight years and everyone has grown older as people do when eight years pass. I mean, they don?t stay the same age. That?d be silly. You must grow older. You?re never the same age for years. Unless you?re those Tuck folk from that story ?Tuck Everlasting.? Now they stayed alive for eternity. Sucks to be them. Or does it? Hmm?

Anywho, turns out that KKC has grown to be one hott babe and all the guys think so. Especially Shinmaru Turner who still wants KKC dead, though, he?s had a love for her ever since he had hormones. Silly you, Mr. Turner. Anyways, on that one voyage back in chapter 1, they were sailing to this particular island, Noble Port. That island is where they are at this moment and stuff.

Shinmaru happened to be taken in by a smelly blacksmith known as Mr. Brownpants, a name that disturbed the whole lot on the island. His stench matched it too. Not just that, but he was a crappy blacksmith and taught Shinmaru how to smith all the wrong ways. Good ole Brownpants.

KKC Swan and her father, Governor James, are chillin? in their crib, which is a large mansion on that island. It?s a peaceful place, but it?s about to not get so peaceful. But that?s later. Right now, we?re in the mansion with KKC and she?s sleeping in quite late. It?s like, three in the afternoon. Damn, she?s lazy.

?Darnit, KKC!? she heard her father yelling as he slammed on her door. He then opened it and glared. ?You are always sleeping in so late. It?s a beautiful day out.? He walked over to the window, pulled away the shades, and opened it only to be harpooned by a villager.

?Sorry!? the local shouted as James collapsed dead.

?Ms. Swan,? a maid of the household known as Arcadia said as she rushed in. ?You must try on this dress that won?t let you breath.?

?I dunno,? KKC mumbled.

?DO IT!? the maid shouted, causing KKC to leap out of bed in a matter of seconds. Her father was resurrected by his immortality and stood waiting for his daughter to finish dressing. ?C?mon, Elizabet--I mean, KKC. You must go to the ceremony today.?

?What ceremony?? she asked as she played some ski ball for no apparent reason.

?Why, Captain OtakuSennen?s promotion ceremony. Commodore, as he?s about to become, that silly pooty.?

?POOTY!? OtakuSennen whimpered as he poked his head in the room. ?I am NOT a pooty!?

?Yes, you are,? James said, throwing a knife at OtakuSennen, but it oddly came back and killed him.

?KKC,? OtakuSennen began, stepping over her father?s dead corpse. ?You?re wearing that one dress from London that won?t let you breath.?

?I can?t breath,? she whined.

?Yes. And look!? He pointed to the top of his head. ?I?ve got a new silly wig! It?s white. I feel so old and important!?

?Could you excuse me for a second?? she said to OtakuSennen, grabbing her sides. ?I can?t breath and I?m losing at Mario because of you.?

?Sorry,? OtakuSennen said, rushing out of the room sobbing.

?Umm? right.? She turned back to the arcade game.


Later, once Governor James was resurrected once more, Shin Turner showed up in their mansion for no reason at all. ?La la la,? he sang as he frolicked through the house. His frolicking ended when he ran into a wall and collapsed. But he got up again. Then a lamp caught his eye. ?Oh my? a lamp.? He tugged on it and it broke off. ?I hope no one saw that.? Suddenly, the house fell down with KKC and James crashing down on Shinmaru. ?Hope no one saw that.?

?Ah, Mr. Turner,? James said, standing up straight. ?I?m surprised that little deal didn?t kill me. Heh.? Suddenly, a rock fell from the sky and killed James.

?Shinmaru!? KKC said, grabbing Shin?s cheeks. ?I had a dream about you!?

?What the hell? About me? What for? Why would you dream about me? You sick!?

?It was about the first day we met, remember?? Suddenly, a flashback began, KKC?s voice narrating the whole thing?


[I]We were on that ship of ours with the drunk figurehead when suddenly, Gandalf the Grey flew down on his hovercraft and laughed. ?Would you two like to go for a ride?? he asked, waving his staff that bared hobbit skulls.

?Of course!? we both said in unison. Then, we took the two back seats and flew off. It was amazing. We flew across the whole ocean until we landed in that one place called Las Vegas. Gandalf took us to a casino where we gambled. You sucked, but I got lots of money. You were beaten up, but I got money for it.

I don?t like this dream.

Shut up, Shinmaru. I?m not done telling it yet. Anyways, after we gambled, Gandalf flew us to another building with flashing neon lights. He said ?Now I?m going in here for a while. You can?t come in, though. You?re too young.?

?What?s in there?? you asked.

Gandalf laughed. ?Just some happy women. Well? BYE!? He ran inside and we were left with just the hovercraft. That?s when I got an idea. We both smirked at the hovercraft and then we ate some ice cream a nice man gave us earlier.

But they were poisoned. Fortunately for me, I was the only one who wasn?t poisoned. You died.

I really, really, REALLY don?t like this dream.

I do. Anyways, we then took the hovercraft and flew back home where we partied with Ewoks from Star Wars. That?s it.[/I]

?What?s Star Wars?? Shinmaru asked, eating ice cream. ?OH MY GOD! Ice cream!? He fainted just as James came back to life.

?Shall we leave now, KKC?? he asked his daughter, rubbing his bloody wounds.

?Okay, but I still can?t breath.?

?Yes, but you?ll wear it until you learn.?

?Learn what??

?Ah! There?s the carriage.? James stepped outside and walked up to the horse. He began petting it, but the horse took James? hair in it?s teeth and ripped off his head. Man, he dies too much. Shinmaru awoke and stood up, staring at KKC who couldn?t breath well.

?I really hate you, Ms. Swan.?

?Damnit, Shin, call me KKC!?

?No!? He yelled, unsheathing his sword out of nowhere. KKC then took a Gamma Ray Gun and fired. With Shinmaru?s great agility, he dodged the blast with ease. He took refuge behind a table that had been tipped over, planning to surprise attack KKC.

Meanwhile, KKC was reloading her Gamma Ray Gun, taking baby steps to get to a safe area. Then, she saw him. He was sliding across the floor, shooting his mini bazookas at her until he disappeared behind a mirror. She dodged the missiles he shot and countered with her ray gun, firing at the mirror. But as we all know, she?s stupid. The mirror ricocheted the gun fire and it ended up blowing KKC up.

The battle was over. Shinmaru stood up and did a victory dance on the touchdown line as KKC?s charred remains slowly rose. ?You won this round, Shinmaru? she sneered.

?You will lose again and again, Ms. Swan.?

?IT?S KKC!? She was about to load her newest weapon, the Purple Koala Marmalade Blaster, but James stepped in just in time to be shot by it and die. He quickly resurrected himself and brought KKC out to the carriage outside.

?How many times do I have to die for you, KKC?? Once they were both inside, the carriage started off, Shinmaru Turner watching them leave.

?Stupid bitch,? he muttered under his breath.


Not too far off, the film crew washed ashore. They?d had it rough from when they fell off the cliff of the island, to when they were sunken by me, to the time they were eaten by carnivorous sharks. The director still suffered serious hemorrhoids. They?d also lost a sound producer. That blows.

?What now, smart ass?? snapped a Video Instructor who had just coughed up some seaweed.

?We find more pirates,? The Director scorned. ?This film isn?t over yet. We have got some great footage on what the bad guys of this film are gonna do.? He lifted up the camera and opened the film part, only to find monkeys with crabs inhabiting it.

?Oh my God,? one man said, almost puking. ?They have-?

?CRABS!? The Video Instructor finished for him.

?I want some,? one man said, frowning miserably.

?I do too,? the Director said, fighting one of the monkeys for the seafood. The monkeys turned out to be great foes, but we don?t wanna show two ridiculous battle scenes in one chapter so we?ll just say the film crew got some serious monkey bites and nothing to eat.

They gradually made their way across the sands only to find some angry villagers who owned those monkeys. Once more, we?ll spare you the battle and just say that the film crew got some serious villager bites.


Around that time, the most awesome, most daring, most handsome, most everything character of this WHOLE story finally makes his first appearance. It be Captain Dragon Warrior! Me! I?m so sexy.

Standing on a mast of his small vessel, he stared on at the island of Noble Port that was just up ahead. ?There it is, matie,? DW said under his breath. ?The place where I make the story interesting for once.? Suddenly, his ship capsized and sank to the bottom of the ocean.

Luckily, DW knew how to swim and reached the dock before monkeys with Purple Koala Marmalade Blasters got to him first. He stepped onto the wooden dock and pushed past the Dock Master.

?Hey, you!? DW turned to see the Dock Master quite angry. ?It?s a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock.?

?I don?t have a boat. I swam here.?

?Oh yeah? What?s that?? He asked, pointing to boat at his side.

?That?d be your boat.?

?How do you know??

?It says your name on it.? Captain DW pointed at the name plate on the side that clearly said [b]Silly Willy Dock Master Guy[/b].

?Hmm? I don?t believe you.?

?Oh my God! How can you be so stupid??

?Easy!? He began dancing around the dock crazily. DW grew tired of his antics and decided to just push the bloat off the dock. So he did. Then he made his way around the docks to find himself ship.

?Next chapter,? DW scoffed, ?I better be in it more.?

[Arcadia]

[size=1][b]"Next chapter," DW scoffed, "I better be in it more."[/b]

Nice ending. :p

Another funny chapter, DW, as always. I especially liked my cameo - for being a maid in the governor's household, I'm a rather forceful little betty. Score! Can't wait to see what happens when the pirates attack the mansion and kill everybody!! Yes!!

..erm, lovely work. Kudos, kudos.[/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Arcadia [/i]
[B][size=1]Can't wait to see what happens when the pirates attack the mansion and kill everybody!! Yes!![/size] [/B][/QUOTE]

You're rather violent, aye? O.o I guess when I made you the mean maid, I gave the right position to ya XD

[Boba Fett]

[color=green]Funny as usual DW.

I find the most amusing thing about this whole tale to be where the various members of OB have been cast. OtakuSennen as Norrington for example, simply brilliant.

*Eyes the script, looking for a part*[/color]

[KKC]

[size=1]Yay! The sexay one has finally appeared... but i was slightly sad that you didn't add in anything with the hanging pirtaes from that thing...
Simply awesome as always ^^ Although I wake up almost every morning at 9:00..., dats ok!

:< *steals you other face* You could have done alot more with the wig man....

I miss Shinstrap..... *clings* [/size]

[Gavin]

[size=1]Damn it Gav my lungs are in such pain from laughing , I mean this is comic genius of the highest degree, where do you think this stuff up in that noodle of yours.

I'm very, very pleased with my character Mr Lynx (replacing Mr Gibbs) wielder of the sword Excaliber and goes nuts at the mention of bikini. And that he's managed to kill Governor James 1... 2... 3 times in the course of a single chapter (A quarter of his total deaths), let's see more of this fine chap in later chapters.

I can't wait for the chapter where the pirates attack Noble Port and I am wondering who else will make cameo appearances in roles of the pirates. Brilliant work man, keep it coming.[/size]

[James P. Galvatron]

That was the most funniest thing I have ever read I almost keeled over laughing. Something that makes you laugh that hard should be against the law the plot of this story is just plain funny and the director and his crew are ridiculous I like how you made Steve Urkel die after annoying the crew.

[Dragon Warrior]

Yeah. Urkle would just get plain rediculous if he stayed so MEH. He's dead. I'm gonna make another chapter soon, I swear ;_; Just give me time!