Writing Fear to Change

[Megumi momo]

I've been falling down the bottomless pits of despair and I have finally hit the bottom.
I've been staring at my reflection in the mirror of an empty Vodka bottle.
I've accepted me when I should have tried harder to change.
I denied myself happiness just so I could stay the same.
The pain is familar I know it's every move but something new could destroy me.
So I accept each tear, each razor that seems to scar me.
My inabilty to change is a curse to some but to me it brings freedom, a resting place free from pain.
But one move in unfamilar terrortoy I make a millon mistakes so I refrain.
But seasons come and go and sometimes just to live you have to change who you are.
Even if that means giving up on what you beleive in and letting down barriers in you heart.
Ive been through so much and I still have alot to go through.
My eyes have been covered but I have seen all my faults through the blindfold.
I've learned many things and I have forgotten everything that I wanted to know.
I tried to love but I have given up on everything beacuse I would sink so low.
So day after day Lie after lie I get lost in what I want to be.
Every moment every whipser seems to change me.
I've said evrything about pain but not about why I am falling here.
I realized things don't happen for a reason they are coincedences that come from fear.
The fear to change so many things are wrong with that sentence. with that words.
But again I am afraid to change then the difference could be worse.
But now a grown person who has been down the bottemless pits of despair and has finally hit the bottom.
Is ready to change and leave fear to be forgotten.