Writing My Star Wars Story [PG -- V]

[Farto the Magic]

I just want o know what you think. Good or bad, it will probably help. I just want to know if I should continue on it. Once again, any input is good input. (Even bad input.)
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Chapter One
The Emerald Fire came out of hyperspace with a flash and entered the atmosphere of Tatooine. It was a larger ship by most standards. It looked like a green oval with two turrets, on in front, one in back. The windshield was narrower than most, but wider than it needed to be, as to give the pilot and crew peripheral vision, a useful advantage. The back was raised and had blue jets coming out. It slowed down as it got closer to the tan planet. The built-in comlink sputtered, ?Unregistered ship, you do not have access to this area. Turn back or be destroyed.?
A short black-haired woman answered it, her green eyes twinkling, ?This is Lalani Karaka of the Emerald Fire. We?ve come with a cargo of sullustan gin and possibly to refuel. You can fire at us if you want, but I would doubt the citizens of Mos Eisley would like to know all their booze was blown up.?
There was a pause. Then a volley of blaster fire answered from a squad of TIE fighters. There were only four, but it wasn?t a good sign. In reality they had no gin. Technically they did, though. They had a sullustan and his name was Ginofad, Gin for short. They only needed to refuel and get some R&R.
The fighters passed over the other ship and turned around for another run. Lalani turned and yelled for the crew. Two humans, a rodian, and a t?surr came to the cockpit. The ship was rocked by more fire. One of the humans, a stern, muscular, black man, started yelling orders. ?Rene and Kelko! To the turrets! Krayd, see what you can do to help!?
The rest of the crew, a trandoshans, a sullustan, a duros, and a bothan were probably trying to repair the ship. Except for the trandoshans, Crakkis. He was probably sleeping. He could sleep through anything. He wasn?t very bright and he was a heavy sleeper, but he wielded a blaster rifle pretty well.
One of the humans and the rodian ran to their individual turrets, while the t?surr ran to get his comrades. The human got into his turret, put on a headset on and turned the turret. It popped out of a recess in the front. ?C?mon, Kelko. We gotta hold ?em off for a while.?
He heard the rodian respond, ?Yeah, I know. I?m the smart on, remember??
Rene gave a smirk and focused the turret at the bundle of TIE fighters. He wasn?t impressed with imperial tactics. They mashed all their ships into one big target. It was way too easy. He fired once, right in front of them and one of the ships exploded. This wasn?t even a fight. It was a massacre. Another fighter went down. The gunners weren?t even trying. The imperials had way too much money to try real tactics. Another fighter burst into a tiny fireball and streaked into space. The ship?s front turret went back into the recess and the back went in, too. The TIE fighter made one last attack run before the pirates went into hyperdrive. The stars became a massive blur as they zipped away.

[...Coolness...]

[quote name='Farto the Magic']I just want o know what you think. Good or bad, it will probably help. I just want to know if I should continue on it. Once again, any input is good input. (Even bad input.)[/quote]

Hey, I don't know about anyone else who may have read this, but I like it so far. I think you should defenitely continue. Your descriptions are detailed, making it easy to imagine the scene. I am not a Star wars lover(I actually prefer Star Trek...haha) but I like this story.The only thing I noticed that could be corrected were typos, but that is to be expected. Other than that, It's great. I look forward to the rest of it. I always respect people who can write better than I can.(meaning [U]all[/U] writers.) Have fun!