Writing Dragons Of...Off-Pern

[RPCrazy]

Well, if anyone out there is a fan of Anne McCaffrey (whatever...I can't remember how to spell her name), you might like this. If you know about the legal trouble she gave a friend of mine (do NOT get me started. The old hag...and her little buzy-body asshole of a son, too), this was written shortly after that when she kicked pretty much her entire fan base off Pern.

Which I realize will make no sense to most people, but it's better that way.

Anyway, yes...my first story for the Off-Pern Dragon fanbase. There's quite a bit to this. If more is requested, more I will post.

---

A young man relaxed upon his bed, his sketch book sitting on his lap while he used a charcoal piece to draw. Letting off a sigh, he lifted his gray gaze to outside his window, watching the sun set behind the western wall of the Hold from behind the wisps of brown hair that draped his eyes. [i]Tomorrow...[/i] he said to himself. [i]Tomorrow they will come.[/i] The thought brought a smile to his face.

"Toby," a voice said, breaking through his dreams. Tobias's head snapped to look at the door of his room, eyes questioning the form that stood there. "Come on...dinner's ready," said the male's voice again. Tobias smiled, looking down at his sketch book...at the beautiful dragon that had taken shape upon it's pages...before setting it upon his side stand and getting up.

"Crem boiled up some stew this afternoon," Pacal, his younger brother, piped as they walked down the corridor to the dinning hall. Tobias nodded his head, taking a deep sniff of the stew scented air as it drifted up the passageway from the kitchen.

As the two boys entered the dinning hall, they were met by the smiling and cheerful faces of their family...and extended family, for aunts and uncles and cousins all resided in the same Hold. They quickly moved to give loving kisses to their mother's cheeks, before Tobias took a spot by her side and Pacal ran down to join his same aged cousins.

Tobias smiled to himself while he ate his stew and bread, and listened to the chattering voices of the group around him. Several times he would hear his name and glance one way or another...each time offering a different family member a bashful smile as they praised the his strong will, or talents with the firelizards and watch weyrs, or thanked him for some job he had performed that day. When the subject turned to the Search that was supposedly going to be held tomorrow, all talk was upon Tobias and his slightly older cousin Kasak. The two boys were the most promising, and hopes were high for not just one, but both of them to be taken up to Ryslen Weyr for the recent clutch.

"You'll Impress, I know you will," Pomale, Tobias's mother, whispered encouragingly to her son. Tobias smiled and slowly nodded his head. [i]I hope so, Mother...[/i] he thought to himself. [i]For Father, I hope so...[/i]


Later that night, as Tobias was readying himself for bed, he thought to the great man who had been his father. Rider of brown Rocketh, Z'ton and his Bonded had been one of the best teams in their fleet. A will like iron, a mind like a tack, a heart like the ocean...and a dragon who gave him balance during the very few times his temper would rage, Z'ton had been deeply loved and respected by everyone who knew him.

That was why, on the day when the fleet blinked from [i]between[/i]...without any sign of the great Rocketh and his rider...panic swept through the Weyr. Pomale rushed to meet Cr'n, the Wingleader, as he dismounted from his bronze, her eyes begging him to tell her it wasn't true. Cr'n had only been able to hang his head as he related the fate of the great rider. "He fell...scorched by Thread before any one could save him. Rocketh went [i]between[/i] soon after."

With a shake of his head, Tobias stopped his thoughts. No, he didn't need to remember the mourning now. Now he needed to be in good spirits. Tomorrow he would be Searched and become a dragon rider. Tomorrow he would make his father's spirit proud.


When Tobias woke the next morning, it was to the violent shaking of Pacal. "Tobias! Tobias, wake up, they're here!" With a groan, Tobias allowed his eyes to open and tiredly question his brother's words. [i]They? They who?[/i] he thought before the tired haze vanished from his mind. [i]The Searchers![/i] With a jump, Tobias scrambled from his bed and out of his sleeping robes, getting into his britches and a shirt. "You lazy bones!" Kasak yelled with a laugh as he ran by the door...still pulling on his boots. "You're no better, Kas!" Pacal said, rushing to yell that down to his cousin. Tobias smiled, ruffling his brother's hair as he booked down to the main court, where the Search riders and their dragons waited.




[i]Do you really think there's a good one or two in the bunch, Oskerth?[/i] D'run asked his proud blue as they landed down beside their fellow Searchers R'lan and his own blue Ancith. [COLOR=blue][i]Do you really think I would say yes there is when truly no there isn't?[/COLOR][/i] the blue responded to his Bonded, letting his swirling eyes look over the line up.

Six boys and four girls stood before the two dragons. They were dressed in their best daily clothes, watching the riders dismount their dragons with both awe and respect flashing in their eyes. "It's a shame we can't even look at the girls for this one," R'lan commented quietly to D'run as they met to compare quick notes. "I know...but Alinth doesn't want any," D'run said, glancing down the line of boys.

"Welcome to Versus Hold, gentlemen," Lady Holder Nuri said pleasantly to the two as she curtsied. "I hope your trip was a pleasant one?" Both men bowed politely to the woman before D'run answered her with a grin. "Quick as a blink, Lady Nuri."

"These are your potential candidates?" asked R'lan, getting right to the point. "That they are. Though, I thought we had..." Nuri began, glancing to Journywoman Pomale. She felt for sure the weaver's son and nephew would be down here. After all, had not Tobias's father been a rider? The young man breathed the dreams of following in his sire's footsteps.

Pomale only smiled at her Lady, glancing to the door which led up to her family's rooms. Sure enough, as if on cue, two boys came rushing onto the scene, quickly taking a place at the end. They tried to look nonchalant as they stood in line, chests heaving as they quietly gasped for air. Nuri grinned, then turned her attention back to the riders. "Yes, this is all of them."


D'run's head snapped to look at the two young men who came rushing into the court. Both were considerably older than the other potentials, looking to be somewhere between 18 or 19 turns. [COLOR=blue][i][b]That one...[/COLOR][/i][/b] both dragons practically shouted to their riders. D'run and R'lan quickly looked up at their Bonds before returning their attention to the young man whose place was at the very end of the line.

His brown hair barely grazed the upper tips of his ears, and his skin wasn't quite as dark as his running mates', but nothing that either of the SearchRiders hadn't seen before. While most of the other potentials stood closer to 5'5," the one on the end towered above them at close to 5 foot 9 inches. He also stood differently then the others...even his friend. He stood, almost at attention. It seemed with him, the awe of being Searched wasn't there. He seemed to respect them, and their dragons, more than he was amazed by them.

R'lan looked to D'run, then headed for the boy. He went slowly, looking over all the candidates...stopping when Ancith gave him comments about the others. D'run soon took up going over the potentials as well, wanting to find at least another one in case R'lan didn't agree with their dragons (at which point he'd have to be considered insane).

Upon reaching the dark haired boy, he stopped and looked him over, really considering him. "What's your name?" he asked. The young man glanced at him, and for a moment a flicker of helplessness appeared in his gray eyes. "It's Tobias, Sir," said the boy next to him. R'lan blinked at the black haired potential, then looked back to...Tobias was his name? "Can't you speak?" he asked, holding back a frown as the boy before him shook his head.

"My brother was born mute, but that doesn't mean he won't make a great DragonRider!" Pacal said from behind his mother. "Pacal, hush!" the Weaver woman scolded her son, offering both R'lan and D'run apologetic looks. "The boy worships his brother," she shrugged, smiling slightly. "And their father was one," Nuri said quietly, slipping up beside R'lan. "Was?" D'run questioned, as he joined their group. "Taken by Thread fall," the Lady Holder replied, glancing to Tobias, who had yet to take his eyes off the Riders.

R'lan glanced back at the boy, then to the dragons. Both of the great blues stared at him, ready to bite his head off if he did not bring this boy. Turning his gaze to D'run, he asked "Is there another good one?" D'run grinned, and nodded, going back down the line to a younger candidate. "Pack your bags once you're dismissed," he stated firmly. The young man squealed, but quickly composed himself and nodded, a wide grin on his face.

"That goes for you too," R'lan said, shifting a glance to Tobias. For a moment the boy seemed as if he would burst with joy, but hid that behind a smile and a nod. "You can go..." R'lan announced, quickly walking to his dragon. He hated seeing that disappointed look upon those not chosen. "Don't be too upset," Lady Nuri said to the others as they started filing away, trying to comfort them. The other boy chosen, one named Lanston, went off with his family to celebrate.

Tobias's own kin came over and gave him warm hugs and hand shakes and pats on the back. "Your father would be so proud of you, Tobias!" his mother said, near tears. Tobias smiled, hugging her warmly. "I knew it, Tobias! I knew you'd get Searched!" Pacal said triumphantly. Kasak came up, slinging his arm around his cousin's shoulders. "Congratulations, Cousin," he said with a wide grin. Tobias gave his friend and family a worried glance, which made Kasak laugh. "Don't look at me like that! You know I'm perfectly fine with this! You've always wanted this a little more than I did, anyway!" Tobias beamed, glad his cousin wasn't upset about not being chosen, and the two exchanged warm hugs as another wave of family members bombarded them.




Tobias opened his eyes just as the watch weyrs were slipping back into their dens. He sat up in bed, feeling a bit of panic for a moment. Had he dreamed that all? Was today the real day? Had all of that really happened? He looked to his bag as it sat by his door, and let off a sigh of relief and a smile. Yes, it had really happened...he hadn't dreamed it. [i]I've been Searched...[/i] he thought with joy. [i]Father, look at me! I've been Searched![/i]

"Tobias," came a voice from his door. Looking up, he saw the form of his mother standing in his doorway. She smiled at her son, walking to sit upon his bed. "Of course, today you wake up early," the woman gently chuckled, getting a grin out of the young man.

"I am so proud of you, Tobias...and I know your father is too," she said, becoming serious after a moment. Her eyes seemed to mist over in tears of happiness, and Tobias smiled at his mother, taking her hand to comfort her. "You'll Impress once you get to Ryslen, Tobias...I know you will." The young man gave his mother one of those 'Mom, come on' looks, and she nodded. "I know, I shouldn't get our hopes up so high...but Toby, it's in your blood. How could you not?" she asked with a grin, placing a hand upon her son's cheek.

"Momma? Tobias?" Pacal asked as he slipped into his older brother's room. Both turned to look at the 9 year old and he grinned, scrambling over to sit on Tobias's bed. He gave his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek, before turning his excited green eyes to his sibling. "Are you excited, Tobias?" he asked, head tilting to the side. Tobias nodded his head, reaching to playfully ruffle his younger brothers black hair. "Some day I'll be like you and Papa, Tobias. Someday they'll come and Search me...and I'll go Impress a dragon too!" Tobias smiled, chuckling a bit at his excitement. "We're sure you will, Pacal," his mother said, squeezing her baby around the middle.

Outside, one of the great dragons bugled. Tobias's head snapped to look out his window, and he let off a sigh. His mother smiled, lightly ruffling Pacal's hair, standing up and leaving the room. "Come on, Pacal...let's go see what Crem is cooking up for breakfast." "Oooh! Breakfast!" Pacal nearly yipped, rushing out the bedroom door. After a moment, he popped his head back in. "Tobias, you're going to have breakfast, aren't you?" Tobias smiled at the younger boy and nodded his head, holding up one finger. "Ok! See you downstairs!"


After breakfast, Tobias went back to his room to get his bag, then to the court where the DragonRiders and their Lifemates waited. He watched as Lanston made a fool out of his family, lingering with saying goodbyes to them. His mother actually began to weep as he hugged her, then went to stand by D'run. Tobias merely shook his head as he watched the woman be escorted away by Lanston's father.

"Take care of yourself." "Safe journeys, Tobias!" "Good luck!" his aunts, uncles and cousins called as he waved to them. He went briefly to his mother, kissing her cheek. "I love you, Tobias," she said, being strong and holding back proud tears. Tobias smiled, then knelt to give his brother a hug. "Come back after you Impress! I wanna see your dragon!" Pacal chirped like a bird. Tobias crossed a finger over his heart, promising.

"Don't make them regret choosing you over me!" Kasak laughed from where he stood by his own parents as Tobias gave them another wave, then went to stand with R'lan's by his dragon. While Lanston struggled to mount Okserth, Tobias swung up onto Ancith's slopping back with ease. "Impressive," R'lan muttered as he climbed up behind the boy.

After waiting for Lanston and D'run to get settled, the two dragons jumped into the sky, beating their great blue wings to get up. Tobias watched as his family and friends dropped from under him, and became like ants on the ground as the dragons went higher. He doubted they could see him, but he waved anyway as Ancith blinked [i]between[/i].


When they appeared in real time again, Tobias let off a shiver and a grimace. It had been so long since he'd gone between with his father, he had forgotten what an experience it was. "You ok, boy?" R'lan asked, noticing this reaction. Tobias nodded, smiling at the SearchRider over his shoulder before looking at the bustling weyr beneath him. [i]There it is...Ryslen Weyr,[/i] he thought to himself. He sighed, glancing up at the sky with a smile. [i]Here I go, Father...wish me luck.[/i]

[i]Fin[/i]

---

And there you have it. The first "chapter" of Tobias's life. He's my pride and joy...admittedly not the best story ever written, but considering this is a first for me, I think it came out damn good.

Oh, BTW, this story is almost...4 years old? 5 years old? Yes, something like that.

[Mimmsicle]

[COLOR=indigo]This is a very promising start !

The only thing I'd like to see, is some kind of? dictionary, so to speak, in the beginning of the story.
Knowing what certain things are before reading it, makes it easier to follow the story. At least in my opinion ^_^;

It surprised me that [spoiler]Tobias was mute[/spoiler], but it makes for an even more interesting character[size=1] (oh, the fascination of communication [i]*grins*[/i]). [/size]
I felt that the people introduced so far all had a "backdrop/background" to them, they came off as [b]real[/b]. [size=1]( or maybe I just have a great imagination after all ;P )[/size]

This is only a reflection of what you've posted [i]here[/i], I shall now read the rest. Mwuahahaha... [i]*cough*[/i] ~_^

- Mimmi
[/COLOR]

[RPCrazy]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mimmi [/i]
[B][COLOR=indigo]This is a very promising start !

The only thing I'd like to see, is some kind of? dictionary, so to speak, in the beginning of the story.
Knowing what certain things are before reading it, makes it easier to follow the story. At least in my opinion ^_^;
[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]


Yeah, I thought about that. >_< One of these days I'll get around to it, ^_^;; , but for now which words are confusing you?


[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mimmi [/i]
[B][COLOR=indigo]It surprised me that [spoiler]Tobias was mute[/spoiler], but it makes for an even more interesting character[size=1] (oh, the fascination of communication [i]*grins*[/i]). [/size][/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]


Indeed! That is perhaps my favorite part of this story! -hugs Tobias- It was also the most challenging, always having to make sure I was keeping him in character.


[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mimmi [/i]
[B][COLOR=indigo]I felt that the people introduced so far all had a "backdrop/background" to them, they came off as [b]real[/b]. [size=1]( or maybe I just have a great imagination after all ;P )[/size][/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]


-beams- Yay! Well, quite techincally R'lan and D'run aren't my characters. As noted on my web page, where this story is officially posted, they were created and belong to the Weyr (dragon home) that is Searching (trying to find candidates) Versus Hold (smaller living towns, similar to kingdoms).

But yay for everyone else!! ^_^

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mimmi [/i]
[B][COLOR=indigo]This is only a reflection of what you've posted [i]here[/i], I shall now read the rest. Mwuahahaha... [i]*cough*[/i] ~_^

- Mimmi
[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]


^_^!! -dances- Weee! Post here and let me know what you think of the rest of it, Mimi!

[Mimmsicle]

[color=darkred]I'll write everything in spoiler tags, that way I can make sure I don't spoil it for anyone (haha)[spoiler]

When Tobias was [b]Searched[/b], it was difficult keeping track of who was a dragon and who wasn't at first. But that's because the names are so unusual and I get confused easily ^_^;

[b]The Farewell "chapter"[/b] felt very sweet, without being sickly. I didn't think Tobias would be a whiner, so it was nice to see that you took the more mature road with him ^_^

[b]Impressed[/b] - apart from thinking that [b]Tiyanni[/b] was a student that wanted the firefly [size=1](told you I get confused easily)[/size] it was a really good read. I could [i]feel[/i] the uneasy atmosphere of kids getting out of control, like they do when it's something they want ~_^

[b]Impressed 2[/b] - I had to read it twice, to get the part where the dragons teased Tobias. I couldn't remember the names, so I couldn't make out who/what they were at first ^_^;

[b]The Merrameth chapter[/b]. I had a smile on my face when I read that. It was so endearing to see these 3 characters interract.

[b]Flight[/b] - once again I got confused at the part where Tobias thinks about what gender "human" (?) rides what gender dragon ^_^;
But I was really tired when I read all of this, so don't take my confusion to heart ^_^

[b]Flight 2[/b] - was the last thing I read, since I didn't know where to go on from there.
[/spoiler]

It's been good fun reading this so far, the story flows effortlessly and I never lost interest for a second.
The characters are drawn out very nicely, like I've said with earlier appearances.

Maybe not much of an analysis, but hey ^_^

Oh yeah, words that confused me.... basically the words that aren't in a dictionary ^__^
Like [b]Weyr[/b], all the names of the dragons/humans/places, [B]Searched, Impressed[/b] etc.
Just a brief note about the words, or happenings, would help first time readers ^_^;

- Mimmi[/color]