Writing My First Fan Fic

[Venge]

This is a little story I'm starting. There are 3 parts to it. I'm not done with part 1, but I need some feedback to this:


The Eternal Jewels
Part 1: In The Beginning And To The Present



Copyrights
Kantro Sercon, Jessica Noles, and Matt Prower? © Matthew Duffey
Alkintude? ©Doyle Collins



When the universe first began, there was nothing. Since there was nothing, the universe had collapsed due to unbalance. When it collapsed, a single jewel was created in this collapse. Within this jewel came living beings, the Andraens, the guardians of this gem. The jewel was created in one of the different universes.

Legend has it that when this sacred jewel is used by a certain person, tremendous and god-like power will emerge. If the soul is pure of heart, all of time will be protected by good. If the soul is of pure darkness, all of time will be binded unto his will. There was only one instance when this happened. But the Andraens came together and locked the user away, along with themselves. When this happened, the jewel was lost, being interrupted. No one has found that gem since. Since that day, the Andraens have been sealed away, thinking it would be forever. But they were wrong, terribly wrong?




March 23, 2004 11:19 AM Canadian Mineshaft #4

It was dark and musty in the mineshaft. Many workers had died due to lack of oxygen. Very few had trudged on working. During this morning, one of the workers had found something strange. It was a vault like chamber filled with bodies in the walls. One of the greedy workers had spotted a jewel stuck in one of the walls. As he grabbed a pick and struck the jewel, there was a flash of light as the bodies emerged out of the walls.
Suddenly, there was a cave-in and most of the workers had been killed, yet few escaped. Inside, these beings emerged in this new and advanced world, not knowing that one of them was destined to save it?

April 15, 2004 3:27 PM Los Angeles California

The bustling of the city streets and the sound of people talking while walking was to much for Katron. His head was pounding due to all that noise.
?Have to find a place where I can think.? He thought.
Katron was one of the Andraens who emerged from that mine shaft a month ago. His long, black hair flapped in the wind as he flew. His tail was wrapped around his waist covered by his long leather black jacket so no one would be suspicious of him.
When he reached a cliff side overlooking an ocean, Katron sat down to think.
?Where could those other jewels be? They have to be on this planet. I don?t have a way out of this planets gravity and I?ve looked all over this piece of shit planet over and over but found nothing!? Katron said to himself.
?So quit whining and find a way out of this gravitational pull and search the universe!?
?Huh?? Katron snapped, spinning around to see who was behind him. ?Oh, it?s you Jessica. What are you doing here??
?Just admiring the ocean and listening to you whine about that stupid jewel you wear!?
Jessica was one of Katrons close friends. She picked on him of course, but it was the only friend he had. She had short brown hair and crystal blue eyes that shined in the sun. She was wearing a pair of jeans and sleeveless shirt covered by a denim jacket. Tearing out of her back was a pair of phoenix wings, which enabled her to fly very fast.
?You and your silly comments.? Katron replied.
?Where do you think that jewel is, Katron??
?Don?t know, but I might have to go off this planet. And besides, I?ve always wanted to see the universe!?
?Well, it just so happens I know a way to go to other planets without using any spaceship! I call dimension warping.?
Katron looked at Jessica with a surprised look on his face. ?You can do that?? He asked.
?Correct. And the price is?a big hug!?
Jessica lunged at Katron with blinding speed to hug him. When she grabbed him, the world around them shifted greatly and then the shifting stopped in the middle of a forest.
?Where are we!? And what the heck was that for!?? Katron demanded, blushing.
?I had to grab you to shift. We?re still in the same universe but I just teleported us to a different planet!?
?Anyway Jessica, warn me about doing that, please??



April 15, 2004 4:01 PM The Great Forest

It was a bright and shiny day as Matt went for a walk down to the beach for a swim. It has been two years since Eggmans defeat. All of his friends had left, going their separate ways. Matt had chosen to stay put since he had a house built and a good school to go to. He had black fur covering his body along with a long fluffy tail with a grey end. Grey fur also surrounded his muzzle and his chest. The jean shorts he was wearing flipped in a mid spring breeze.
?It?s a bit chilly out here today. I better make sure to stay warm till summer.? Matt thought.
Suddenly, Matt felt a strange presence that appeared near him. It felt that someone had just teleported to this area with ease.
?Hmmmm?I better check it out.? Matt thought.