EternallyYoung Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Here is my new "thing" What is the piont of living forever when forever may not last? What is the point of forgetting when you still have a past? What is the reason for knowing what happened when that wont stop it from happening again? Rae Atkinson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 [size=1]Well, it seems a bit short. You could probably flesh it out more. However, good use of rhyme and rhythm. I think perhaps you should break the sentences into lines. Instead of [i]What is the point of living forever when forever may not last?[/i], perhaps you should use something like, [i]What is the point of living forever When forever may not last?[/i] Anyway, that's my say. I'd like to see the finished product.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EternallyYoung Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 thanx! ill look into that! like i said its only a work in progress! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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