Writing Meestah Kay - MATURE LANGUAGE

[Brasil]

Now, keep in mind, that this is based in the Southern US either in the 1930s or 1960s. Keep this in mind. There is some language here.

[center]"Meestah Kay"[/center]

?Meestah Kay! Meestah Kay!?

Nellie?s shrill voice cut the heavy night air in manner similar to Butcher John?s cleaver as it goes through lamb and cow for customers in his deli. Nellie didn?t usually go running through town in the middle an? dead of night, screaming at the top of those lungs for a man. Doing it then was dangerous for a Negro, and doing that now was even more risky. But presently, that mattered little, if it done mattered at all. Nellie was in trouble, and more trouble than she cared to be mixed up with.

?Meestah Kay!? she cried, ?Meestah Kay, I be needin your help greatly! Please come out, Meestah Kay!?

?Course, Nellie?s voice sounded like dyin cats, and roused more than just her intended. Lights went on, checkerboarding the darkened houses. Some folk come to their windows, screaming bloody murder if Nellie, the banshee Negro girl, don?t shut her mouth quickly.

?What you yellin about?! You know we good folk are tryin to sleep, don?t you? Us good folk don?t need no little nigger girls wakin us up with gibberish bout Mister Kay! You get on, get out!?

?But I needs Meestah Kay!? Nellie exclaims, ?I?m in a heap of a mess and I need his help!?

?Well what did you do wrong??

?It wasn?t ma fault, I swear it! I was just walkin down the road, mindin my business and these men started after me. I did nothin wrong, I swear!?

?Men, you say? Were you whorin yourself??

?No, I wasn?t!?

[EternallyYoung]

oh...hmmm...right...

[Lady Asphyxia]

[size=1]I'm going to go with unfinished? I think it's unfinished, unless you intend just to make it as a scene.

It's a good piece, although if it were longer, the accents would probably start to get on my nerves.

The reference to 'dyin cats' was quite good, and then referring to it once again as a 'banshee' sort of pulled it all together.

*shrugs* I have nothing more to say, 'cause it's really short for your writing, and well...there's a story after it, and there's a story before it, but at the moment, there's no story that I can see, if that makes sense.

*dies* Argh. It's a scene, is what I'm trying to say.

Actually, I have no idea what I'm trying to say.[/size]

[Mimmsicle]

[COLOR=darkred]I really enjoyed reading it with the accent added into it. Since there isn't that much description of the surrounding, it helps to visualize the story somehow.

You chose an interesting way to start the story off, beginning after something has happened and leaving before explaining fully what happened before the story began.... yeah.
Good way to catch the interest and keep it ~_^

- Mimmi[/COLOR]

[SIZE=1][b]William Faulkner. [/b][i]"The Sound and the Fury".[/i]
That's the one ^_^

My dad had to read it for some reason and he showed it to me. I think I shall give it a read, now that he's done with it ~_^[/SIZE]

[shahi]

I'm intrested all though I do hate that time period( because it was normal for people to call others the n word and not get the S**t punched out of them). I'd like to read what happens next it different from the storys I usally read here.