Writing The Doors Chattered Upon The Wind [A Poem]

[Amorphous]

[color=crimson][size=1]Somehow I posted this in the wrong forum. But we all make mistakes sometimes right we are only human. So anyways here is the poem.

The Doors Chattered Upon The Wind

Three Rightful places 'neath the earth
rack up the winds and screech of dirge
Lunging against the bark of that bare grown trees
Delicate up in the sky where incognito weeps.

And I feel the grapes upon the tattered vineyard
Broken like the clattering graveyard gates
Light breaks upon that subtle courtyard
Knowing the contemplation of as skewed hate

And those broken doors in the field rattle
Those doors that chatter upon the wind
Feeling the knotting in your grave side cradle
And realizing the plight of hell's reign within

So speaketh the forest you doth here
Lying to you in the swayest form of seer
Where the bones lie on the wayward
An ebon dart of darkness pace it's slight of card

These all lie before you as the doors of 'neath
Writing in a passage to tend you and wreathe
Your neck, yourself upon the darker of forests
The sullen of plains
The cradle of graveyards that lay within
And to quote the poet. "Nevermore"
Shall I lay in my death bed, but always ?neath the earths floor

Well there you go tell me what you think.[/color][/size]

[Lady Asphyxia]

[font=Verdana][size=1][color=#dc143c][color=black]Oh, lovely poem. Truely fantastic. Marvellous use of vocabulary, rhythm, and rhyme. While your rhyme pattern changed from stanza to stanza [From abab to aabb and back] it wasn't really noticeable, [I myself didn't even notice it until I've gone through the poem again] which I think is because the rhyme is [i]subtle[/i], without obvious rhymes like "bed" and "Ned" [Just to use an example, heh.] [/color][/color][/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]The imagery is just gorgeous, in my opinion. You can see the vineyard, with the courtyard in front of it [Of course, it's just my opinion, heh.], the lightening and rain sort of slashing down, and it's just so [i]vivid[/i]. [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]The only place you seemed to slip was near the end, where you broke from the 4 line pattern and the length of your sentences became less regulated. The two last lines I had a bit of trouble with, because it took me a while to understand the jist of it -- it was where you started a new line that threw me.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]All in all, I think it's a fantastic poem, and I wish to see more of your works. [/size][/font]