MischiefLink Posted October 15, 2001 Share Posted October 15, 2001 Ok I know someone else said something like this joke but this one is alot better Osama Ben Ladan invites Pres. Bush to Afghanastan to try and come to an agreement. Well they are sitting in a room Osama at one end of a table and Pres. Bush at the other end. They talk for a little while then Bush notices 3 buttons on Osamas chair but doesnt say anything then Osama preses one and a fist comes out from the table and punches Bush in the face. Then Osama preses the second one and a foot comes out from under the table and kicks Bush in the shin then a few mins later Osama preses the last one and a foot comes out and kicks Bush in the balls and Bush says in a very high voice I think that is all I am going back to America. Well a couple months later Bush invites Osama to the White House and they are in a room sitting at a table and they are talking and then Osama sees 3 buttons on Bush's chair and then Bush preses the first one and Osama ducks and nothing happens then a few mins later Bush preses the scond one and Osama lifts up his feet and nothing happens then Bush preses the third one and Osama protects himself by puting his hands over his balls then Osama says well I am going back to Afghanastan. Then Bush says with a smile " What Afghanastan?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2001 Share Posted October 15, 2001 LoL thats pretty good!!! I needed a laugh.. :D :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lia Posted October 15, 2001 Share Posted October 15, 2001 LMAO! i like it!:laugh:cruel but funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MischiefLink Posted October 15, 2001 Author Share Posted October 15, 2001 My sister told me that one on the way to a football game she told it sorta different tho it is still funny:laugh: If you have any more jokes post them here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2001 Share Posted October 15, 2001 Uhh well i have jokes but i dont think they are the suitable type for this board...PM me if you still want them trust me they are funny if i can remember them..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 I remember one.... There was a rabbit who woke up a bear and the bear started to chase the rabbit and a genie came and said if you stop chasing each other ill give you each 3 wishes. They agreed. The bears first wish was that all the bears in the park were lady bears except for him. the rabbits wish was that he can have a helmet. Bears next wish was that all the lady bears in the country were ladies except for him. the rabbit wished for the worlds fastest bike. The third wish from the bear was that all the bears in the world were lady bears.. The rabbit thought hard and long about his last wish and it was...THE RABBIT WISHES THE BEAR WAS GAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 Another one..... No offence to Southerners if they do say it... 40 Things Never Said By Southerners 40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen. 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won't fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can't feed that to the dog. 32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 30. Wrasslin's fake. 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 28. We're vegetarians. 27. Do you think my gut is too big? 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 25. Honey, we don't need another dog. 24. Who's Richard Petty? 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 21. Spittin is such a nasty habit. 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. 19. Trim the fat off that steak. 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 17. The tires on that truck are too big. 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. 15. I've got it all on the C drive. 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled? 12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 09. Checkmate. 08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. 07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 05. I don't have a favorite college team. 04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long. 02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. 01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lia Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 :laugh: lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MischiefLink Posted October 16, 2001 Author Share Posted October 16, 2001 lol that is funny:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 Lol good ones both of you!!:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 I have some insults too... Your family is so poor that they needed to put their cardboard box on second morgauge... One more Your dad drinks so much that if they paid him he would be a millionare!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MischiefLink Posted October 16, 2001 Author Share Posted October 16, 2001 Those are pretty good Forte how did you get your siggys color to fade like the or did you just put a different color for each letter?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 Well uhh i went to a site....I didnt do it manually.All i had to do was pick my colors and pick text and click something and i got the code..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Forte [/i] [B]Another one..... 40 Things Never Said By Southerners [/B][/QUOTE] ggggrrrrrrr... as a southerner, i must now kick you square in the nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackUnicorn Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 :D u do that lady macaiodh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MischiefLink Posted October 16, 2001 Author Share Posted October 16, 2001 Lol, he said no offence lol :) but you got to do what you got to do lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxy89 Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 [COLOR=royalblue]:laugh::laugh: lol!!! Very funny! If you have anymore post them!![/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amibasuki Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 lol, I like the first one and the southern ones:D here's one (some of you might've already heard it, but oh well:p) a brunette, redhead, and a blonde are running from a farmer on his farm (dunno why). they run up into a hayloft and hide in 3 bags. the farmer runs up and sees the 3 bags moving. he kicks the bag with the brunette in it. "Meow!" "Okay, there's a cat in that one," the farmer thinks. he kicks the bag with the redhead in it. "Woof!" "Okay, there's a dog in that one," the farmer thinks. he kicks the bag with the blonde in it. "Potatoes!" ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conpiracymonki Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 [b]I have a bag of insults :devil: ranging from: Your Mum's so Fat, to Your Mum's so Stupid. And from: Your Mum's so Ugly, to Your Mum's so Poor. I have, like, twenty of each category...although I can only tell you about 7 or so, of each, off the top of my head... Hmmm,...better start practisin a bit more..[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 Heh... Well, I've heard enough jokes about where I live to last me a lifetime... They don't bug me at all, though.... One of my all time favorites was a list of "You might be from Wisconsin if..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MischiefLink Posted October 16, 2001 Author Share Posted October 16, 2001 I would like to here the "You might be from Wisconsin if...." that sounds like it would be funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by MischiefLink [/i] [B]I would like to here the "You might be from Wisconsin if...." that sounds like it would be funny! [/B][/QUOTE][SIZE=1]Yeh...it's funny...if you're from WI, or somewhere close by. [Michigan! Yea! And Minnesota...] Otherwise, most of them won't make any sense....[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Gohan Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 hahaha that was pretty good :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peekabooicu Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 later to yall named lady mac lol jj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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