Writing Random Writing--a product of my boredom.

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][SIZE=2][FONT=Courier New]He could feel the sweat on his brow, the shoe slipping from his right foot. His palms grew sweaty, and he nearly tripped several times as he ran, but he did not stop. Even when he crashed into an elderly lady carrying her groceries in a large brown paper bag, and fell into the dirt. He scrambled frantically to his feet as people screamed curses behind him, unaware of his situation.
He could feel them gaining on him, their footsteps and fists drawing closer. There were people shouting after them now, too, but stopping and begging for help would not have amounted to anything. Any one with sense chose to stay out of street conflicts?they were more often than not fatal, and fought with such intensity and lack of restraint that it would have taken an earthquake to separate a skirmish once it started.
He felt his feet grow heavy and his head begin to spin. His breath came short and he began to wheeze. His chest tightened and he felt his entire body begin to falter. Not this. Not now. He squeezed his hands into fists, allowing his torn nails to dig into the flesh of his palms. He had to keep running. If nothing else, he had to keep moving. His vision began to blur and tears were streaming down his face. Spots of brilliant, multi-coloured light began to burst across his vision. He could no longer make out men from women, tell where he was going. His hearing grew echoed, and the noises of the street seemed to go far away. His vision failed. He could see nothing. All that he could do was try to keep running and hope he didn?t trip or hit anything or one. It failed.
His left foot twisted awkwardly, and he fell to the ground with a yelp. He dug his fingers into the dirt of the road, trying to bring himself to his feet. He was blind and practically deaf. He was tired. He could not breath, he could not move. He was going to die, and they were the ones who were going to kill him.
He felt a kick to his ribs, which made him crumple. More blows came at him from what seemed like every side. Fingers grabbed at his hair, and clawed at his face and arms. Were there really only three of them? Where was he? He felt himself becoming numb to the pain, and a tingling sensation overcame his entire body. Was this what it was like to die? If so, why had he been so afraid of it until now? It seemed almost better than living?[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[eleanor]

[color=firebrick] Nice little writing you got, trying to create anxiety within your readers as well is sometimes a hard thing to do.

One thing I'm bothered about it is that you try to fit in a whole lot of information into a sentence, which does not work when you're trying to write something that creates tension or nervousness. Try writing in short sentences when writing this kind of thing, and keep the information minimal. Short sentences, dahes, and single words can really do a lot when you're trying to make an atmosphere of tension. ^_^.[/color]

[Godelsensei]

[color=gray][size=2][font=Courier New]The wind had died down by now, after having blown away nearly all the clouds. The grass was cool, but not damp, under their backs. The hill sloped gently upwards, and the stars twinkled above them.
[font=Courier New][size=2]Tadashi could hear his own forced, heavy breath as it escaped his lungs, and his rattling gasps as he drew it back in. But, for what seemed like the first time, it didn?t matter. He rolled his eyes without moving his head, and looked to his left, then his right. They were both there. They were not going to leave him, not like every one else had.[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]It took him a moment to notice Xeh studying her left hand. She held it up, palm out, towards the sky, elbow slightly bent. The smooth stump of what had once been her pinky glowed pinker than the rest of her skin. There was a vacant expression on her face, and she appeared to be staring almost right through her hand.[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]He sat up, feeling the odd leaf of grass prickled his back where they had gotten under his shirt. Sliding his hand behind his head, and into his collar, he shook it until most of the offending leaves were on the ground again. He imagined that there would be grass stains on the seat of his pants, but that didn?t matter. They were just a pair of worn-out trousers, after all.[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]He glanced down at Xeh again. She was still studying her hand. [/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?Where?d you lose it??[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]She jumped and let her hand drop. Without looking at him, she asked him what he was talking about.[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?Your pinky. You?ve never mentioned where you lost it.?[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]There was a pause, and she sat up, hair sticking out in odd directions, as usual, despite her attempts to hold it back in a ponytail. There was grass caught in it, and she ran her finger through her red locks, in hopes of dislodging it. Then, she began to chuckle. [/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]She brought her knees up, and tucked them into her chest, hugging them together with the hand that had just been trying to free her hair of the grass. She was smiling to herself. Smiling. Tadashi liked it when Xeh smiled; it made him feel like everything else was far away, and didn?t matter any more. He thought, by now, that it was because he knew she wouldn?t smile unless there really was a reason for it. [/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?I didn?t lose it,? she said, finally.[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?Hm?? He blinked at her a few times, sitting forward.[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?Heh. Why?d you think I?m here right now?? She turned to him, eyes nearly sparkling. She was smiling, but, for the second time, she actually looked anything other than angry or apathetic. Tadashi?s eyes widened at his noticing that the glimmer in her eyes was held-back tears. [/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?What do you mean??[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?Come on, you saw what they did to that kid back there.?[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]A wave of sickening memory over came him, and Tadashi felt as though his stomach might have been doing summersaults. How could he have let it leave his mind? It had been keeping him up at night for weeks. ?You mean???[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]?Yep. Crazy, huh?? She leaned back, against the hill again. Tears were streaming down her face, but her smile did not fade. She closed her eyes and folded her arms behind her head, as a sort of make-shift pillow. ?Well, now you know why I still work for Gattie.? She rolled over, facing away from him and yawned. ?Now shut up, will you? I haven?t had a decent night?s sleep in a month at least.?[/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2]Tadashi laughed as silently as he could manage, as, too far to make a difference, a butterfly flapped its wings.[/size][/font]



[font=Courier New][size=2]This is what I want to use as an ending for one of my stories, so it probably wont make much sense... It's actually from the same story as the first thing I posted. Heh.[/size][/font]


[color=gray][font='Courier New']Izumi shuffled through the snow. It was already almost three feet deep, and was growing more so, ever so slowly. There was a light wind, but it still froze the extremities of her face, making her wish she had worn a hat. What a silly thing to think of?would she even have cared ten years ago? Well, ten years was a long time, she had proved that to herself time and time again. But it seemed like just the day before last that she had come up this way most recently. [/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]It looked the same as it always did: secluded but not un-charming, the building itself welcoming after a trek up the slope of the mountain. There was a light on in one room. When she was close enough to see this, she paused for a second and just stood there, shivering. Her teeth rattled against each other, and her knees quaked just so slightly. Was it the cold, or was it who?or more of a what, now?she knew would be waiting inside. Well, not waiting. She hadn?t called, after all. But, then again, what were the chances of the place having a phone? It hadn?t ten years ago.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]But ten years was a long time.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]After a few moments, she began to walk again, and, upon reaching the threshold, simply stood there for another few. The door was the same as it had always been. She reached out a slender hand, and rested the tips of her fingers on it, tracing the contours of the wood until she reached the handle. She tried it, slowly. It was unlocked. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]She took a breath and pushed the door open, into the warmth of the house. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]Almost instantly, a wave of nostalgia overcame her. She did not feel alien or unwelcome here?she had no second thoughts about having simply walked in. She was always welcome here, always had been.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]As quietly as she could muster, she shut the door, blocking out the chill of the evening. The house was warmer than outside, but not quite warm enough. She imagined it was still only heated by the fireplace in the main room. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?Who?s there?? She heard his voice before she had been able to register that he was going to be there. Before she had gotten over the shock of it, there he was, leaning into the hallway, eyes wide. He obviously hadn?t been expecting her. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]She simply stared at him for a few seconds, before tears filled her eyes, and her hand instinctively came up to cover her mouth. She began to quake with tears, and bit down on her bottom lip, in hopes of keeping back the sobs. It was no use. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]She threw her arms around him, and began to cry into his shoulder. He was taller than her. When had that happened? It didn?t matter. Nothing mattered. He was still here, like always.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]She realized, after most of her tears had died down, that he was crying. He squeezed her to him, and was sobbing more intensely than she had been. It had never occurred to her that he would have missed her, as well.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]They simply stood like that for a while, having passed no words, no more than a glance into each other?s faces. Finally, he spoke, ?Christ, Izumi, I can?t believe you?re still alive. They told me they?d killed you, you know.? His voice was as quaky as her knees had been coming up here.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]She stepped back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ?Killed me? They told you I was dead?? In spite of herself, she laughed. And laughed, and laughed. She laughed until the tears came back, and she began to sob again. Then, after what seemed like eternity, she shook her head and smiled. ?Well, they didn?t. They sent me away, though.? [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?Well, I guess that?s a relatively good thing, then.? He laughed and jerked his chin towards the open doorway. ?Come on?it?s warmer in here.? [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]When they were both sitting down, across from each other, in front of the fire, slowly sipping tea, they actually began to talk.[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?So?how?ve you been?? He looked at her over the rim of his cup. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]She gazed out the window, at the falling snow. It was blowing harder now?it was a good job she?d come up here when she had. She imagined that the storm would pick up very quickly from this point forward. ?As good as I could manage.? She smiled and looked down at the leaves that rested at the bottom of her cup. ?I got married, if that?s legitimate news.?[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]His eyes widened and he paused. ?Married??[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?And divorced.? A pause. ?I have a son, too.?[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]He sipped his tea noisily and raised his eyebrows. ?You? With a kid? Seems rather out of place, doesn?t it??[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]She raised an irritated eyebrow at him. ?How so??[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]He shrugged and set his cup down, leaning back. ?You know, the whole violent?verbally, as well, I might add?immature, never-wanting-to-be-tied-down-by-anything bit.? [/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?Sure. So?what?ve you been doing??[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?Me? Not much more than sitting around, actually. They haven?t really found a use for me, as it is.?[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?Sounds like you.?[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][font=Courier New][size=2]?What??[/size][/font][/color]

[color=gray][size=2][font=Courier New]?Finding an endless number of ways to make no good of yourself whatsoever.? She looked out the window. The snow made the night sky look almost white. She had forgotten how cold it got up here in winter. Once again, in spite of herself, she laughed.[/font] [/size][/color]


[font=Verdana][size=1][color=red]In future, please do not double post in threads. Simply edit the previous post. [/color][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][color=red]-- Lady Asphyxia[/color][/size][/font]

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