Ganging up on one person bites.

[Farto the Magic]

I'm sure that everyone hates this.

Scenario: There's a big group of people and one of them calls you a name. You call them one back and then the whole group calls you names. Then you try for a little while and give up.

Why do people do that? They start a fight, then they get their friends to help when you try to counter. That's like saying to someone: "How dare you try to defend yourself?"

That happens to me all the time and I'm always the person who gets picked on. And it's always the popular people, too. As if they don't have enough of an ego, they tear down someone else's. You can't get them alone, because they're always flanked by four of their frineds. I mean, what the hell? I'm sure that other people would be glad to carry on my rant.

[Vicky]

[SIZE=1][B]Used to happen with me a lot, but now I'm always hanging around with my friends. A lot of the time, when people called me, and they were in a gang a fight would break out because I HATE people who don't fight fair, but now... if the fight's not one on one, my friends step in (one of my friends called Daniel is very, very, very, VERY tall and extremely strong, so he knocks the sh** out of people). I hate people who gang up on other people, if they do it, I do it back. Get my friends over, then give the others a broken nose then see who's tough or not. I really hate people who even think they're tougher than me, I've been suspended loads of times at school for making fights, Ii was defending myself against a gang of kids, what do they expect me to do stand there?

Yep... happens to me, but I just give them friendship a** woopin'.[/SIZE][/B]

[Ryu_Sakura]

Those used to be my problems, then I kicked the bum of this "popular" kid, so they leave me alone.

They used to pick on my freind, you may know her as SunnyBunny7, but she tells on them.

The used to pick on another friend, you may know her as NaomiSan24, she is an evil mastermind, she can diss people so bad, even when they are in groups no one has a witty enough comback. I'm just like her, only less verbal.

[AzureWolf]

[font=Georgia][color=blue]It's harder to tell the difference between noise and logic when more people are shouting. Basically, if you get a big enough backing, it doesn't matter what you are saying, just that it's louder than what anyone else says. Of course, as a T.R.-ist, this code of imperial conduct goes against every bone in my body.[/color][/font]

[font=Georgia][color=#0000ff][i]~AzureWolf, speaking softly and carrying a big stick - a REALLY big stick.[/i][/color][/font]

[shahi]

I've never been ganged up on before. It happened to some of my friends but not many people in my school have problems with me. Although I can't say the same for my self cause I have problems with a couple of people at my school that I just want to beat down. I guess it makes some people feel stronger to gang up on people. I see it as a sign of great weakness that and picking on people who you know don't really defend them selfs.

[OtakuSennen]

[font=Times New Roman][color=navy][font=Arial]Yes, I'm very familiar with this sort of thing. Earlier this year, a friend of mine shouted something at a group of more athletic people (As in the bad kind of athletic people; i.e. annoying jocks). It was not meant in any way to be offensive to those people. In fact, he was really just trying to get them to talk to one of their acquaintances. They, however, took it as some sort of threat, and ended up confronting him. [/font]

[font=Arial]For my friend, talking didn?t help. The more he talked, the more they pushed his back against the brick wall. Eventually, some school faculty came over and got them off of him, but those people are still very bitter to this day.[/font]

[font=Arial]Similar situations have occurred with my group of friends, as they are non-conformist, short, and outspoken a lot of the time. Thus, because they are different, they are harassed by those of physical superiority.[/font]

[font=Arial]I suppose that a psychologist major could explain why people do this. Heck, maybe anyone with common sense could make a decent theory or idea about it. I would imagine that these people, who are considered popular by most of the students, believe that certain things are expected of them. Or more likely it?s just that they feel insecure about themselves.. And pushing others down to feel superior would be considered the "easiest" way to gain some self-esteem. And who would want to go around picking on the largest, most bully-ish person in the school? They want to go for the smaller, probably more introverted people. Or at least the people who slouch or have glasses.[/font]

[font=Arial]I?ve learned to just avoid these people. Keep a low profile, or tell a counselor if you disagree, but logic and discussion won?t work with idiots.[/font]

[font=Arial]In a way, however, I?d advise against taking my advice. I?m a 13-year-old sociophobe who just ignores the annoying people. There must be something I?m not doing right.[/font][/color][/font]

[Zidargh]

Ganging up is weakness upon itself. If someone can't do something they want to do by making themselves look bigger on their own, why do it at all?

Yes it is true, if outnumbered, you are immediately weaker as if you try and take on one person, you're more than likely going to get your buttocks kicked. However, the shepherd doesn't prosper without it's lambs so if any of you are having trouble, find the leader of the ganging-up group on his/her own and then confront him/her with his/her companions out of sight.

I've been in one too many of these situations and I've learnt that the only thing to do is turn your back and walk away, especially if people you thought you knew turned against you aswell. Either way, walk away and not only do you not weaken your reputation but you also avoid a threat which aren't the nicest of things usually.

Unless you are some uknown Superhero/Well-Trained Martial Artist(Samurai/Ninja)/GI or anything among those lines, walk away and confront the person on their own. Watch them cower then, it's very amusing to watch people stir in fear without any reinforcements.

[Syk3]

[color=#30415d]The thing that these bullies look for is to catch you off guard and try to make you feel uncomfortable. They look for "weakness", and then make fun of people to look cool as well as, like OtakuSennen noted, to make them feel secure about themselves.

The thing that you have to remember about these people is that they rarely use logic to insult you, so you just have to find their ignorance and point it out right in front of all of their pals, lol. That, in combination with just ignoring them, and they'll get bored after a while and leave you alone. It seems kind of cliched, but it does work. What they want is you paying attention to them, and allowing them to get onto your nerves. You fall right into their trap.[/color]

[wrist cutter]

[quote name='Farto the Magic']You call them one back[/quote]

Before I read any more of your senseless whining, exactly WHY do you call them names back?

Really. Stop and [i]think[/i] about this. What are your words going to do to him? Does it actually hurt when someone calls you a name? I sincerely hope not, because if it does you're taking things way too personally.

The solution: stop being so stupid and going along with their little mind games. People like you are very entertaining, since it's very easy to get a rise out you.

[Shinmaru]

I agree with wrist cutter. The more you let these people get to you, the more you're going to fall into their trap, so to speak. Using the same inane tactics that they use against you isn't going to solve anything; it just makes them want to bully you around more, I think.

There are kids like this everywhere, heh; a lot of them are just pure a-holes who will group together and pick on the "weaker" people in an attempt to gain acceptance. You just have to learn to develop thick skin and not be so affronted by them.

And, if that doesn't work, you'd better develop a sense of humor pretty damn quickly or they'll eat you alive.

[Guest Midnight Rush]

People gang up on others because it makes them feel good. It puts them on the platform and says "Your an idiot! You can't compete with me!" And unless you can find superior backing, the are, although morally wrong, absolutely right. We who have high intelligence or physical superiority or good looks attack the less fortunate for a variety of reasons (thats not to say every smart athletic good looking person is an azz hole). The biggest being insecurity! No amount of God given gifts will put someone at ease, it takes something else (which isn't our topic so I'll stay away from it). Banding together and destroying someone whether physically or verbally give an insecure person some security.

The very fact that this person is part of a group gives them the biggest reason of all: aceptance. The leader might start doing something and the others follow, not because they hate the target, but because they wan't to be look on with approval from the others.

From what people tell me (i have little first hand experience), its best to just smile and laugh with them, eventually they will get bored. Boring these foes of your is perhaps the most effective counter measure, as you can't justify violence for something so childish. Although I'd caution you against violence when dealing with football players lol!

[future girl]

I have to agree with Wrist Cutter, if you can take an insult in stride and brush it off as the senseless ******** it is, well then eventually it dies down. Not only that but it makes the person that insulted you look like a complete ***, so yea. I haven't been called a name in ages, ppl usually don't mess with me and thus I don't mess with them, everything's a lot simpler that way.

[Kinetic]

[font=Verdana][size=2][color=slategray]I have to agree with the last couple of posts as well. If you take insults made of names seriously, then you're taking it [i]far[/i] too personally. Last year I was insecure (due to a lack of social interaction. Thanks homeschool! *sarcasm*) and got picked on a lot, but once you learn to keep the gag going and turn it around, you will start to feel more confident and get more respect I suppose. [/color][/size][/font]


[font=Verdana][size=2][color=#708090]Just don't take these things seriously, it's not worth it. My friends and I insult people all the time in a joking manner, yet always logical insults (well, not all the time), but the people we insult know that it's a joke and they get over it; like anyone else should.[/color][/size][/font]

[Guest hell_slave]

yes, but i am a very well trained martial artist/swordsgirl, i was kind of new at the school, and i rarely spoke at all infront of people i didn't know.Well, now i've got one or two close friends, but within my first week or so i still had no friends so people made fun of me, but after making fun of me i'd use some of my martial arts on them and they left me alone ever since, they also leave my friends alone otherwise they'll probably come to school the next day with a few bumps, bruises, black eyes, or cuts.

[Guest Midnight Rush]

[quote name='hell_slave']yes, but i am a very well trained martial artist/swordsgirl, i was kind of new at the school, and i rarely spoke at all infront of people i didn't know.Well, now i've got one or two close friends, but within my first week or so i still had no friends so people made fun of me, but after making fun of me i'd use some of my martial arts on them and they left me alone ever since, they also leave my friends alone otherwise they'll probably come to school the next day with a few bumps, bruises, black eyes, or cuts.[/quote]
what are you smokin' girl? tell me so i never try any. how are you getting away with all that? even in some rougher schools i've been in, you can't get away with consistant injury of someone! you can maybe once, but none like you described... do you really feel like a bett- nevermind....
well yes, ignoring it or being enthused when someone gets on you seems like good advice, cause if it doesn't bother you they won't do it. ug.... very..laa.t.ee...

[Guest hell_slave]

[QUOTE=Undefeated]what are you smokin' girl? tell me so i never try any. how are you getting away with all that? even in some rougher schools i've been in, you can't get away with consistant injury of someone! you can maybe once, but none like you described... do you really feel like a bett- nevermind....
well yes, ignoring it or being enthused when someone gets on you seems like good advice, cause if it doesn't bother you they won't do it. ug.... very..laa.t.ee...[/QUOTE]
i get away with it because our teachers dont care as long as the fight isn't on school property.

[Charles]

[quote name='Farto the Magic']As if they don't have enough of an ego, they tear down someone else's. You can't get them alone, because they're always flanked by four of their frineds. I mean, what the hell? I'm sure that other people would be glad to carry on my rant.[/quote]On the contrary, these people are making fun of you because of their own low self esteem. They don't intend for their jibes to lead to a physical confrontation (or at least a fair one). If you encountered one of these people alone, I can guarantee that they wouldn't rouse you; it would be a different situation altogether. These individuals have a singular thrill--and it's exalting in one other's presence at the expense of someone else. It's all a joke to them. They aren't considering things like someone else's feelings.

This is why they're never alone and refuse to stand on their own two feet. They aren't strong enough to be individuals. Nor are they mature enough to have fun together in a positive way. They probably aren't even creative enough to find anything better to do.

I won't lie. If I were you, and a group of jackasses were calling me names, I'd be angry and upset too just because I don't like being used as a building block for someone else's poor self esteem. It's very inconsiderate. But, at the same time, there's no point in exchanging verbal blows with them. This is not a situation you can actually "win."

Just be the better person and show you're above it by walking away. Don't give them a reason to laugh. Even if it bothers you, shrug it off. Just keep in mind the knowledge that these guys will be bald and fat two years after graduating from high school. They'll probably be working for you eventually too. Feel me?

Either that, or you can remain bitter about this and become a disgruntled postal employee who wears lipstick and keeps their names on a personal list for future reference. It doesn't take a genius to recognize the preferable course of action here.

[Corey]

[quote name='hell_slave']yes, but i am a very well trained martial artist/swordsgirl, i was kind of new at the school, and i rarely spoke at all infront of people i didn't know.Well, now i've got one or two close friends, but within my first week or so i still had no friends so people made fun of me, but after making fun of me i'd use some of my martial arts on them and they left me alone ever since, they also leave my friends alone otherwise they'll probably come to school the next day with a few bumps, bruises, black eyes, or cuts.[/quote]

[size=1][color=#2F4F4F]You're a part of the problem if you actually do things like this.
Someone called you a name. You kick the crap out of them? What is your problem? You're just as bad as the 'dumb jocks'. Your attacks aren't provoked nor are they justified. 'They were picking on my friends.' So you use a sharp, and possibly lethal, weapon on them? You must either be trying to make a name for yourself with lies, or you're just plain idiotic.

As for group attacks, I find them to be extremely loathesome. Someone has to be pretty insecure to surround themselves with others and go after a weaker person.
It certainly is fun to watch which person is the leader of the pack. It's usually no the one you'd expect.[/color][/size]

[Boo]

[color=gray]I'm no master Martial Arts specialist or anything, but that doesnt care at all.

Well I've had it for like a few days, but when that guy really started to piss me off, I lost my control and grabbed his neck. It all happened within the flash of a second but when I really realized what was going on he was up against the wall.

The thing is, I never lose my anger on someone, so I didnt like what I did. But even though I didnt like it, the guy hasnt done anything from that day on.

I wouldnt recommend losing your anger like I did, but well... Don't let them touch you ^_~
[/color]

[Guest hell_slave]

[QUOTE=KnightOfTheRose][size=1][color=#2F4F4F]You're a part of the problem if you actually do things like this.
Someone called you a name. You kick the crap out of them? What is your problem? You're just as bad as the 'dumb jocks'. Your attacks aren't provoked nor are they justified. 'They were picking on my friends.' So you use a sharp, and possibly lethal, weapon on them? You must either be trying to make a name for yourself with lies, or you're just plain idiotic.
[/color][/size][/QUOTE]

i only mess with them if they really piss me off.i never use my sword on any one unless they too have a sword, plus i make sure that the fight on my half is fair, like i won't let my friends step in the fight if they let theirs, thats their problem, and i don't really have an name at school, barely anyone knows i exist.

p.s. i've gotten beaten more than once because they had all their friends step in and i wont use my sword or let my friends step in.

[Harry]

This is a little off topic but I'll say it. If you ever want to pick a fight on an asian girl/boy or they're picking a fight with you, there's a 99% chance that they will rally their gang of friends to help them.

It happens for other races too, but it seems the most apparent from asians.

[Boo]

[quote]It happens for other races too, but it seems the most apparent from asians[/quote]
[color=gray]
that really depends on where you live...
Like in the Netherlands it are more the people from Turkey than the Asians.

So yes. At our school its mainly when you have trouble with one foreign person, you have trouble with them all and you can almost count on your fingers that you wont get away with it. So that gives them more confident so they can act like smart *****, their gang will beat you up anyways and everyone knows that.

So weh. No racisme included but thats just true :rolleyes:

::EDIT:: just to let you know, he almost choked me once so it wasnt about name calling at all, he just was a real pain.
[/color]

[wrist cutter]

Good thing this is a message board on the internet. If for some reason we were all in the same place talking instead, I'd be afraid to be around some of you. It seems like some of you have some anger problems, judging by the fact you're getting violent over NAME-CALLING.

Seriously. In my entire school career, I've never gotten in any sort of fight (verbal or physical), I've never been "picked on", I've never been the target of a bully, I've never been a bully, or any of that stuff. It makes me wonder just what you people are doing that YOU are being singled out and getting your ***** kicked.

[eleanor]

[color=firebrick] Because some bullies really are cowards in a sense. They're too scared to keep confronting you if you have the self-esteem to defend yourself. So they call on their homies or whatever...crazy schmoes. It does bite, but it's best to just keep to yourself and silently kill they guy in your mind or something.

But anyway, the people who come around and support the first person are looking for something that will put them above other people. They're like evil gummi bears that stick on to you and suck out your soul so they know that you're under their 'status'. God...how stupid. [/color]

[i] So yes. At our school its mainly when you have trouble with one foreign person, you have trouble with them all and you can almost count on your fingers that you wont get away with it. So that gives them more confident so they can act like smart *****, their gang will beat you up anyways and everyone knows that.
[/i]

[color=firebrick]Yeah, that's painfully true. I don't know about other races but a lot of Korean kids in American schools hang around in giant groups and will practically destroy you if you make fun of one of them.[/color]

[Baron Samedi]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]I am awfully glad that wristcutter brought it up, or I was gonna go slash mine!

People call you names. Ignore them. Be the big one, please.

How smart can you be if you go back and retort, when you should know from experience that you'll just lose out. Sure it's annoying, but as they say, it takes Two to Tango.[/SIZE][/COLOR]