A question of friendship

[StrikeGundam]

[color=navy]I need everybody's help with a silemma that I'm facing. When I walked into eighth period this afternoon, I noticed that one of my best female friends(lets call her Amy), someone that I have known for years, was absent from the class. I had seen this person earlier in the day, and she wasn't the type to cut class, so I was concerned with what happened to Amy. [/color]

[color=darkred]After eighth period was over, rumors started to circulate about why Amy was out. Apparently Amy's brother had been badly beaten up by a a couple of gang members (the Bloods, I believe) earlier in the week for wearing their colors and refusing to take them off. Amy, in response to the incident, blogged on her Xanga a post that included some derogatory and racist remarks towars African-Americans. Someone in found out and told a teacher, and that teacher passed it on until the remarks were read by our principal. Apparently the remarks were so bad that Amy was kicked out of school for the rest of the school day. [/color]

[color=navy]So far, that's all that I know. Responses to the news have ranged from disbelief to "If she wasn't a girl, I'd knock her the f#%k out." I've resolved to not make any opinion until I know all the facts, but if the post was bad enough for her to be kicked out of school for the day, Its gotta be pretty bad. I've Known Amy for a really long time, and she's one of the coolest, most tolerant people I know. I don't want to have to destroy our frienship.[/color]

[BrandedWolf]

then talk to her and find out exactly what happened, then you (and only you) will need to make a decision as to weather the incident is worth costing you a friendship
To be a good friend is make your decision bassed on several factors, before you open your mouth and possibly insert foot.




Bona na Croin,
Bosn

[MarkM]

You could always call her. Then you can find out what really happend, and then stop the rumors from spreading. For all you know, there could have not even ben a despute.

-Mark

[Sara]

[quote name='StrikeGundam][color=navy'] I don't want to have to destroy our frienship.[/color][/quote]
[SIZE=1]Why would you have to do that? I'm a little confused as to what the issue is. She got suspended for something she posted in a journal?


If she really is a good friend, I'd hope you'd talk to her instead of going defcon over rumors.[/size]

[Panda]

If she truly is your friend you will talk to her before making any judgements. Rumors are a terrible thing and they spread like wildfire. Find out from your friend what is really going on.

In her blog she may have made some comments that were off color in the heat of the moment. Being upset about her brother who was hurt in such a terrible way may have lead to a lapse of judgement.

Be a friend and reach out to her to find out what is really going on. With the rumors flying around she probably needs a friend right now more than ever. Remember, rumors are just that, rumors. They are not the truth. Find out the truth before making any decisions.

Best of luck to you and "Amy", I hope everything works out for the best.

Panda

[Guest lavalamp]

If I were her I'd totally fight it. I could make a huge list regarding what she could pull out of her *** to totally smash whatever allegations the administration at the school held against her. Unless of course she was writing a post at school or whatever.

I'm more confused as to how people stumbled upon that? Does she advertise her online journal? Bizarre.

[Corey]

[size=1][color=#2F4F4F]To lava lamp: What probably happened was that one of her friends saw it, they told on of their friends, then they told on of their friends and so on and so on until it got to someone that was ignorant enough to make a big deal about it.

Like everyone's been saying, you should talk to her first. The only place you're going to get the correct story is from her. Rumors are usually just that, rumors.
As for the racist statements, they were made in a fit of rage. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on something that was obviously a wrong choice, and was done when she was probably a little out of it.[/color][/size]

[RPCrazy]

......ok, that's just stupid that she would be kicked out for something she wrote in her personal blogger.

Beyond stupid, that's damn ridiculous. It's her personal journal, she can write whatever she wants. Hell, she could write "I hate America and want Bush to die a horrible and painful death and all of us to become Communists," and there's nothing they could do about it. They have no right to kick someone out because of expressed racism (which itself is bad and wrong, but that's beside the point)...and if that's true, your little gang people should have been suspended a long time ago.

I don't believe that's why she was sent home. Not for something written in a blogger and if that was indeed the case, American schools are more f---ed up than I thought...

[Arcadia]

[quote name='RPCrazy']......ok, that's just stupid that she would be kicked out for something she wrote in her personal blogger.[/quote]

[size=1]While I heartily agree with RPCrazy, I know that this is something that my old high school might have done. Suspension might be a bit extreme, but they definitely would have taken action, I think, mainly do to some laws here known as the "Sunshine State Standards", or something like that.

Basically, anything you do outside of school can still effect you in school. It's Florida's (or at least Seminole County's) way of trying to get you to be a good, upstanding citizen during your high school years. I've always hated them because it screws good kids over, let alone the fact that it's an invasion of privacy. But then again, teenagers have privileges in high school, [i]not[/i] rights.

As for your friend, just ask her and see what happened. Rumors are just that, as KnightOfTheRose said. Don't get yourself all riled up when you don't know what the facts are.[/size]

[Black Kat]

[QUOTE= I don't want to have to destroy our frienship.[/QUOTE]

I know this must be hard for you, but the choice is yours whether the friendship remains in tact. Here's what you might try doing.
Sit down and ask her what's going on. Let it be a quiet place where there aren't any people or distractions.
Simply tell her how you feel about the situation and that you're getting mixed signals from her and don't quite know what to make of them.
If she was in a fluster of anger, tell her that you understand and that you wouldn't blame her for being angry, yet the post probably wasn't the right way to vent it.
I'm sorry if this sounds like I watch Jerry Springer,but this is the best advice I've got. I hope it works out for you. Good luck. ^_^

[James P. Galvatron]

I surely hope that its not true and that the rumor is a lie. I have heard of gangs like Bloods, Crips, G's, and all of that and they can be dangerous I don't wear anything that slightly resembles what they wear. Even if the rumor is true no matter what someone else does it shouldn't make you go off the deep end and write racist remarks its kind of wrong to do that, but after you describe your friend I don't think she would write something like that it may just have been something that was spread by your fellow students that got out of hand. Rumors usually happen that way someone tells someone a supposed secret they tell someone else and the other person takes it out of context and adds in other things to juice it up and so does the next person until its this big thing thats way from the truth, but you hurt me there when you said it was a supposed racist remark towards African Americans cause I Native American and African American I plan to look up my family tree and learn about my ancesters.

[RainbowChick]

If you think she's a really good friend of yours then you shouldn't believe the runours. Like what everyone else has been saying, go and talk to her. It's the best ways to solve your problem.

And RPcrazy, you think this is crazy (I agree with you)? Well in my school, a person was writing in there little folder a [b]story[/b], something fake, a thing from their imagination. A teacher found her writing in it and it wasn't even during a class, it was break. So the teacher reads it and its got language and porn stuff in it. The teach goes and calls the girl's parents, then passes the book to all of the girl's teachers and has them read it. Then, all those teachers call the girl's parents, that's like 8 teachers. Now the girl is seeing a psychiatrist because of this and other reasons. I mean for gods frigg'n sake, she was writing in a private book of hers about something totally fictional and the teachers are making such a big deal out of it. I think that, along with StrikeGundum's situation is completely ridiculous!

I hope you and your friend are okay StrikeGundum.

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo]She was suspended for a day for making derogatory comments? That sucks, I always make derogatory comments but I am never chastized or punished for them...then again my derogatory comments tend to span all religions, races and sexes. Perhaps you should tell your friend that she needs to diversify her hatred, it probably becomes overwhelming when she focuses it on one group of people. Also remind her that it isn't very smart to write derogatory comments during a time she could be held responsible for them...[/color]