Advice on a Touchy Subject

[Emme888]

alright I probably have the oldest problem in the book, and Me being the emotional teen that I am..it's of course on love.

just for your information..my best friend is a senior and im a sophomore...i met her last year freshmen spring year...and yeah we became the best of friends..and she's like a sister to me and I love her with all of my heart. And yeah before she met me, she didn't really have any friends..or any boyfriends or anything like that... but now she's gotten a ton of friends is way more outgoing and has a ton of guys after her...and of course she's goregous..but getting on with the problem.

ANd now she has this guy that really likes her and wants her to be her girlfriend, but she doesn't want to..or at least that what she told him and told me..but she still kinda likes him....so we all kinda hung out today..and me and him well we meshed way well...and she even mentioned something on it...and I really like him now..but I dont wanna hurt her...and I dont know cause she said he was kinda (well i hope) was flirting with me and yeah..she still likes him..and i dont know what to do..cause she doesn't want to do anything about it..but I dont wanna step on anyones toes and mess up one of the best friendships ever.

so what do I do when me and my best friend both like the same guy and he likes her and she kinda likes him but doesn't want to go out with him..and yeah Im just starting to really like fall for him, but yeah i feel gulity for doing so..and I dont want to do anything that I shouldn't?

any advice for someone kinda in a weird place and kinda heart broken at the moment?

I know this is way emo..but come on guys i need ur help! thanks everyone

[AzureWolf]

[font=Georgia][color=blue]Oooo, now it's my turn to play grandfather and tell a story...[/color][/font]

[font=Georgia][color=#0000ff]It has been my experience that your best friend is a more valuable asset than a girlfriend or boyfriend. Case and point, I had a best friend in High School that become overly eccentric (I wasn't interested in his girlfriend or anything, but he just started acting stupid). We broke off ties for quite some time, and finally, we made up only [i]after[/i] he discovered that his girlfriend was selfish and snotty (which was apparent to me and others when first meeting her).[/color][/font]

[font=Georgia][color=#0000ff]The right person will be the one where no compromises will need to be made. Rather, it will be your honor to sacrifice for them.[/color][/font]

[Guest Crimson Spider]

No compromises won't show up until your 35-ish with the way things go now days IMO.

But this is an awfully sticky wicket eh, wot? From what I've seen, there are multiple outcomes to which this situation can turn out.

If your friend say's that she doesn't want to go out with him, and if you try to go with him, Then again, he could completely ignore you, resulting in one problem. Or he could fall for you, and if your friend doesn't mind that, things could go well. But a large % of guys sleep with their girls best friend.

If you don't go for him, either (A)Your friend could start to like him and they turn out into a good relationship (you, now being the best friend [i]if the situation ever presents itself[/i] I strongly suggest not going with him afterward.) or (B) Your friend continuously ignores him and then he either (sub a) goes for you or (sub b) continues to persue your best friend or (sub c) give up completely and be hearbroken. B sub a seems like a best outcome.

Can't remember the other many outcomes that could happen but IMO: Wait. Just wait. He likes your friend, not you... or atleast he hasn't said he likes you. But if I liked a girl and her best friend tried to get with me (phrased in ghetto terms), I would most likely blow it off.

But then again, that's me and not him.

[Ryu_Sakura]

[COLOR=DeepPink]Advice: Talk to her about boys in general, ask her who she likes, DON'T let her convince you to say first, make her, if she likes him she'll probaly say it. If she say's it, ask her if she'll ask him out. If she says no and makes a joke about it, that means she will, or wants to. If she just says "No! I don't think he likes me like that..." then persur you love. But trust me, it's only a crush, you'll both get over it before the end of March. (I sound like a mother don't I? Well, it comes from expiraince with boys, and the same situation.)[/COLOR]

[PiroMunkie]

[size=1]A good friend is not worth losing over a simple crush either one of you two may or may not have.

If she says she does not actually care to date him, then by all means you should be able to step forward. However, there could easily be consequences to your actions, such as awkwardness between you and her. It is like when you have a group of friends, and two of them start dating each other. Something changes in your mind toward them and you are unsure how exactly to act. Especially if/when either of you (your or the guy) begin involving your friend with issues between yourself and this guy.

I stand by my opening statement. You are only still a sophomore, you have better things to worry about than a relationship.[/size]

[RPCrazy]

.......

he likes her, but she doesn't return the favor. And when the three of you were hanging out, he was crushing on you more than her...

Just to add another factor in the mix: You ever think he was flirting with you to make her jealous? Girls are like that, you know... -nods-


ADVICE: Keep your nose out of it. Find another boy to crush on. Love triangles are [U][I][B]not[/B][/I][/U] fun.

[Arcadia]

[size=1]Try and imagine this from your friends perspective for a moment. It's her senior year, the last and most important one, she like this guy but is probably too shy or afraid to do anything about it, and then suddenly the girl that she thought was her best friend steps in and steals him away. So much for a great last year.

It may sound slightly harsh to you, but you've got to think about the whole picture. Is pursuing this guy worth the consequences? By doing so, you put a lot on the line, as other people have noted before. It's not just your friendship, but even your own reputation. If that's something you care about, you may want to think twice.

The most rational thing to do at this point would be to wait it out. If after a month or so she's still done nothing and you still like the guy, then confront her about it. But doing anything right now sounds a bit too hasty too me.[/size]