Oh dear...another relationship thread

[Doukeshi]

Well yeah, I know its a relationship thread, oh the horror. However I feel that this is important for me and I need a little help.

Okay, first off, whenever I go out with a guy or start dating him or whatever I get such a horrible feeling. Its like deep anxiety clenching my body and it makes me feel horrible. I can be a few days into seeing the guy and I have to break it off 'cause I can't cope. I'm not just talking first date jitters or whatever, this is curl up on your bed and cry kinda anxiety.

I just want to know if anyone has ever felt like me or if I'm a lost cause.

[James]

[color=#707875]I guess the most obvious thing to say is that you have a fear of some kind. The question is exactly [i]what [/i]that fear is.

At a guess, I might say that you have a fear of commitment -- some kind of fear of getting into a deep, longterm relationship. But I really have no idea. That just seems an obvious choice to me, but I'm sure that there could be plenty of potential explanations.

Have you really sat down and considered [i]why [/i]you're having these feelings?[/color]

[Doukeshi]

I considered that and maybe it is a fear of getting into a longterm relationship, though it only happens when I start to see someone. I could think its a perfectly good idea at the time and then the next day it's like a smack in the face.

[AzureWolf]

[font=Georgia][color=#0000ff]I wouldn't say you are afraid... just nervous. For me, the idea that I'm going to strongly influence another person's life - even for just a day - would freak me out. I recommend getting some indifference to the situation. For practice, try being indifferent to something you know is negligible but you put emphasis on anyway. For example, casually comb your hair and then ask your friends if they notice anything different. They'll most likely say "no" and it will help you to stop noticing things that'll just distract or detract from other things.[/color][/font]

[font=Georgia][color=#0000ff]Did that make sense? ^_^;[/color][/font]

[Mist]

[color=orange][size=1] I tend to agree with the latter statement; I honestly don't think it has anything to do with a fear of commitment, or you obviously would not have agreed to date them person beforehand. I have a semi-similiar situation; around Valentine's Day, whoever I'm dating and regardless of how much I actually care for them, I always break things off. For me, it's a matter of prinicipal: I don't believe it is right to recieve what is considered an obligation present from someone who will, ultimately, drift from out of my life. With you, I think it's just a a nervous reaction. Dating is a nerve-racking experience. You'll just have to learn to cope with the butterflies, quite frankly.[/color][/size]

[Nats]

I have to agree with what the two people above me has posted, but I'm gonna post my own bit as well. First off, how well do you know these guys? If you don't know them quite well, then that might be your problem. Maybe you're just rushing in things too early. Or if you know them quite well, were they friends before the romance? That might be your problem. You might not be comfortable going out with lads that you knew very well beforehand.

Huh? What did I just type? Oh well, I hope you can understand what I was trying to put, because I can't! ^_^;