Writing This is my little thread of random poetry...[PG-13]

[ninetails390]

I love to write poetry (usually very philosophical poetry with extended metaphores), so I decided to post it here at OtakuBoards for you all to see :D . Please comment on my writing, I love it when people acnowledge my existance). Positive comments are great (please don't spam, though, of the Moderators won't be happy), and suggestions are, too; I love too improve my writing! Please don't flame me, though, I'm easilly offended. Complaints and constructive critsizm are one thing, but flames scare me! Ok, here we go:

[U]Purpose[/U]

A purpose hidden deep inside,
A place where you can fly,
Where is it?
The talent?s hard to find,
But when you do, you?ll fly,
It?s human nature to lose faith,
But just keep going,
You?ll find your place,
Don?t worry, it?s there,
Deep inside you,
It?s in there somewhere.


[U]Unconditional Friendship[/U]

Friends must be loyal,
Give respect with all their hearts,
They never judge you
By looks and clothes,
And when you need their help
They never leave you on your own.
But friends don?t need to be perfect,
Just as long as they are good.


Well, that's all I've got typed so far, I've got tons more, though. Please comment :) Oh, and all my poetry is G-rated, by the way ;)

[Flashlight]

The first poem, purpose, is intriguing, but it seems like your trying to hard to rhyme. Albeit, the rhymes were rather clever, but just didn't sound all too nice. And, 'fly' was repeated too quickly, making it sound akward.

The second poem I enjyoed much more. It has a nice flow, and doesn't rely on words rhyming. It just ended really abrubtly. That last line was just...ugh. Fix that last line into something that carries better, and 'Unconditional Friendship' will be and excellent peom.

Keep writing! You can go far! :)

[ninetails390]

Why, thank you, Flashlight-chan. I appriciate the compliments and suggestions. :D I'll try editing my poetry up a bit as oon as I think of something. Actually, int Purpose, I wasn't even trying to ryme; it just happened that way. I rarely [I]try[/I] to make my poetry ryme, but it's cool when it does. Pretty funny, ne? Thank you so much, though, domo arigato!

I have another poem to post, I forgot I had it typed up. It's sort of a theme song to my story, Okami no portal, actually. (You can see a preview of my story at [url]http://frontpage.kconline.com/rickowens/Okami%20no%20Portal%20preview.htm[/url]):

[SIZE=3][U]Dark Void[/U][/SIZE]

Darkness, Blackness,
Wings unfold,
Coming back
From tales untold,
Deep within
The darkest void,
There?s a heart that knows no love.

Saving time
And saving space,
Don?t give up your endless chase,
Take the crystals,
Don?t lose hope,
Protect your home
The sacred place.

Worldly strength
And spiritual powers,
Searching far and wide for hours,
Do your best, with limited power,
Don?t turn back,
The world?s in danger.

Heal the world,
Mend fatal wounds,
Find your purpose
By light of moon,
Don?t stop now,
Your time is soon,
Time is in your hands.

Darkness falls,
Light recedes,
Midnight comes,
The end seems near,
But don?t fall weak to mortal fear,
No, don?t fall weak to mortal fear.


So, how do you like it. If you nice people read my story, too, tell me how you liked that also. If not, go read it, or I'll call my muses on you! :flaming: :laugh: Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you; I'm not that dangerous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~EDIT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, Flashlight, I edited Unconditional friendship. Read it now and see how you like my revisions ;) .

[U]Unconditional Friendship[/U]

Friends must be loyal,
Give respect with all their hearts,
They never judge you
By looks and clothes,
And when you need their help
They never leave you on your own.
But friends need not be perfect,
If they stay right by your side.

So, what do you think?

[Flashlight]

In regards to Unconditional Friendship, it's much better now :)

Dark Void was enjoyable to read. I didn't like the lines "Your time is soon,
Time is in your hands." Other than the fact that you used 'time' twice, the lines in general just didn't sound good. On their own, the lines are great, but toghether they just don't match. And in the last two lines, I think you should either take out 'but' or 'no'. There is no need for both of them, in fact in hinders a great ending. Having just one of them is fine (Either one).

Not much else to say right now, other than the fact I really did enjoy it. It's longer than your other two, and usually I don't like it when a poet starts writing longer poems (They tend to be very repetitive nearing the middle), but it seems my fears were unfounding. Good job! :)

[ninetails390]

Thanks again Flashlight, I edited Endless Void. I'm glad you liked my revision of Unconditional Friendship :D . I love your comments; I'm glad somebody likes my writing ;) . Oh, and did you read my story? If so, how do you like it? I'm working on the fourth chapter right now, but only the first one is typed :( . Oh well, maybe someday I'll get some big inspiration to type all my writing... Anyways, here's Dark Void, revised version:

[U]Dark Void[/U]

Darkness, Blackness,
Wings unfold,
Coming back
From tales untold,
Deep within
The darkest void,
There?s a heart that knows no love.

Saving time
And saving space,
Don?t give up your endless chase,
Take the crystals,
Don?t lose hope,
Protect your home
The sacred place.

Worldly strength
And spiritual powers,
Searching far and wide for hours,
Do your best, with limited power,
Don?t turn back,
The world?s in danger.

Heal the world,
Mend fatal wounds,
Find your purpose
By light of moon,
Don?t stop now,
Your time is soon,
The future's in your hands.

Darkness falls,
Light recedes,
Midnight comes,
The end seems near,
But don?t fall weak to mortal fear,
Don?t fall weak to mortal fear.


How's that? Does it sound better?

[Flashlight]

"Your time is soon,
The future's in your hands"

Future, I didn't even consider that. Really, really good.

All in all, nice revision. Sounds great :)

[ninetails390]

I'm back!!! Sorry I haven't updated this for a while, but I've got a lot more poetry for you to read (like anybody ever even reads this thread, Flashlight's the only one who ever comments...). Anyways, here's some more poetry^_^.

[U]Zephyr[/U]
Though the wind may blow hard sometimes,
And it may seem all hope is lost,
The storms will soon die down,
And peace will be restored.
A gentle zephyr carries your dreams,
So follow the wind
No matter where it blows,
Don?t turn around
?Cause the wind carries hope.


[U]Fork in the Road[/U]
You may find your life divided,
With two ways to go,
A fork in the road.
When this happens,
Don?t be frightened,
Just choose where your heart wants to go.


[U]Someday[/U]
Don?t know where I?m going,
Don?t know what I?m worth,
Don?t know where I?m at now,
But I know I?m being watched.
Can?t be nowhere,
Must be somewhere,
?Nothing? is a pointless word
Then again, unless you?re God,
So is ?everything?.
Can?t own the universe,
Can?t be perfect,
Can?t know everything,
But you can be loved,
And that love?s the most perfect gift of all.
It can fill this emptiness
It can fix this sadness,
Depression has no meaning
When you leave this Earth.
So live life to its fullest,
Don?t worry if you?re lost,
You?ll find your way,
Someday,
Someday?


The next one is from the point of view of one of the characters in my story, so don't worry if you don't recognise the characters' names, some of them (including Kaz himself) haven't apeared yet in what I've typed of my Okami no Portal...

[U]Reflections[/U]
(Kaz?s image song)

I sit quietly on a ledge,
Wind rustling my hair,
Strands of white fly before my eyes,
Emotions fill the air;
I sometimes wish they?d go away,
But then I remember they?re good some days,
Memories of friends I?ve had,
Some may drift away, but for now?

A friend free and wild,
And loyal to the end,
She?s fast and agile,
And she?s always been my friend.

Tsuki, Tsuki,
Come to me,
A night-hawk so loyal,
A friend you?ll always be..

A warrior so violent,
My protector and my love,
Explosive but gentle,
And my lover for all times.

Hikaru, Hikaru,
Come to me,
Warrior so loving,
You are my protecting friend.

A guardian so gentle,
Quiet and solemn at times,
She never stops caring,
And she?ll protect me till? the end.

Okami, Okami,
Come to me,
Guardian so humble,
You?re always helping me.

A dragon of confidence,
He always sees the good,
He seems a bit conceited,
But he?s always a great friend.

Katsumi, Katsumi,
Come to me,
The bravest dragon living,
You?ve taught me how to fly.

The greatest friends I?ve ever had,
They?ve helped me through my hardships,
I owe my life to them,
For they are my whole world.

My friends, my friends,
Come to me,
You?ve always been there for me,
And I?ll repay you with my love.

As I sit there dreamily,
I run through these reflections,
And think that maybe?
?Just maybe?
I have a reason to live,
Because I must repay my friends.

My friends, my friends,
Please come to me,
I cannot live without you,
Your love is my life.


Wow, I posted a lot more poetry than I normally do ^_^. No, I'm not depressed by the way. I wasn't when I wrote the poetry, either, so don't ask me if I am; I'll just tell you to look at the endings closer. 90% of my poetry is in a sort of "everything's all right, even if it seems bad at first" style, definately not the results of depression, ne? (Though Kaz sometimes is depressed, but that's jut because he's my favorite character in my story and I love to feel sorry for my favorite characters ^_^...my poor favorite characters...).

[Knightinblack89]

[COLOR=Navy]I am New. Tell me if these poems are good. (I think the poems are good)[/COLOR]




[COLOR=Purple] [U]This Friend[/U]
:cool: :D :cool:
This firend is kind and loyal
who shant ever spoil,
but then agian I could be wrong,
this friend could sing another song,
and turn away when i need it most.
Thats the way the world goes.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=DarkOrchid] [U]The King and the Eagle[/U]
:ball: :ball: :ball: :ball:
Safe in the eagles wings,
high above all troubles,
the warm smile of a king,
the welcome you feel,
can not be explained.
The soft feathers of an eagle,
giant wings take flight,
the king in charge,
defending all his people,
reaching out to those in need.[/COLOR]


Here is my favorite. :D

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][U]LIFE[/U]

life is meant to be lived,
life is not meaningless,
it has meaning.
No matter how big or small,
life can be joyful if you choose it to be.
Do be careful what you think or do or life may be painful.
Life is a gift,
don't tihnk of throwing it away,
life has meaning, if you look hard, you can see what meaning is.
Even when nights are cold and days bitter :all: ,
life will surprise you,
Trust these words,
life always gets better.[/COLOR]

[ninetails390]

Oh, good job Knight in Black :) . That's good poetry. I especially liked The King and the Eagle. I love poetry^_^. Anyways, I have I couple of fanfic poems that I decided I want to post. They're YuGiOh poems, one's about Ryou and the others about Malik:

[U]Dark Dream[/U]
ninetails390: This is a poem I wrote when I was in a gloomy mood. The power was out at school, and I was bored^_^
Ryou: It?s in my point of view.
Malik: ninetails390 officially owns nothing.
ninetails390: Hey, I own stuff, just not Yu-Gi-Oh.

Flying,
Light flashes in my eyes,
Rising through the clouds,
I see things I?d lost long ago,
And Amane, my dear sister,
But she?s gone, deceased,
Now I know where I am.
Suddenly, I?m falling,
Tumbling,
Broken wings,
Darkness surrounds me,
It bewilders and swallows me.
Where am I?
Why am I here?
This isn?t the shadow realm, and not Earth,
Am I, could I really be,
Dead?
A hand shakes me,
I awaken,
Yami no Boku stands above me,
?Thank goodness,?
He whispers, ?Aibou, you?re alive.?

ninetails390: So, how did I do?


[U]True Friendship[/U]
ninetails390: This is another one of my dark, slightly angsty, poems.
Malik: It?s about me, from my point of view.
Ryou: Diane is a good author, but she technically doesn?t own any Yu-Gi-Oh characters.

Hieroglyphs, in my back,
Carved by my own father.
Mother died when I was born,
And Father when I was young.
Left with Isis, my older sister,
I?ve always been a loner.
Rishid was my only friend,
He guided me to darkness.
Then I met two loyal friends,
Ryou Bakura and his yami.
Ryou has taught me kindness, love.
Bakura showed me memory.
They?re like me in so many ways,
But have their own uniqueness?.
I guess that all I really need,
Is the power of true friendship.

So how did I do on those? anyways, as soon as I get around to typing it up, I've got a really cool (and surprisingly lighthearted compared to most of my poetry) poem about curiosity that I want to post. I'm lazy, so it takes me a while to get around to typing things, but I'll try to get it up someday in the near future^_^.

[Knightinblack89]

Oh THANK YOU!!!!! Please rate theese! I'm on a Roll! Well...not realy...(kinda sad these poems :( )


[U]The End[/U]


Darkness consumes the world,
and dought fills the hearts of many.
Death is upon this time,
Madining many,
But when it seems all hope is gone,
the sun begins to rise,
and hope is bruoght forth,and it's the beginig of the end.
And it's the chance to change,
Before the world has ended.....

That is one of my more serios poems.




Banishing The Darkness (thanks for the title Ninetails, I really like it. :D )

Before the sun rises,
darkness takes over.
And into pain and anger
one must fall, so one can rise.
The dark of what i become,
can not over come,
My heart and soul,
Which will vanquish,
what comes by the name of the dark.


And i woudl like to add.. I think your poems were realy cool. :cool: :cool:

[black bird]

Hey ninetailes390 , I did liked your poem purpose . It kinda said hang in there and don't give up .It gives hope and it's nice , very nice . But I'm not that long into poetry ....so I'm not an expert or anything like that . I just liked it .

Anyway here's mine . Feel free to correct my spelling . Oh and before I forget , it doesn't have a title and I think that fits the poem . So here it goes :

[edit] [U]Empthyness [/U]

I'm staring to a death corner in my room
The shadows dark
my personal doom
The shadows hold my most inner secrets
because there's no one to talk to

I need someone ...
Cause I'm going nuts
without human touch
Without talk ,
without laughs ,
I'm not much

Echoes ... I hear out of empthyness
I want the buds ,
the friends ,
and the lover
But there's something holding me back ...
Lonelyness

I'm scared of people
People's eye's
I don't know how to socialize

My hart is sprained
I'm in pain ...
PAIN PAIN PAIN !!!
LET IT STOP !!!
Love ??? I don't know ...
Friends ??? I haven't got ...

Protect me from myself
Oh God oh God
I wanna stop this pain
cause it's driving me insane


So that was my poem , there's some deep feelings in that poem . But I've passed that stage in my life . I can't write about fun stuff anyway . I only write poems when I have so much emotions I don't know where to put them and then I write a poem once in a while . I enjoy fun things so no need to write about that . Well maybe I'll post another one , bye bye :wave:

[ninetails390]

Wow, cool poetry you guys. Black Bird, I think I might have a good title for your poem, if you want. How about "Emptiness". I thought one up for your second poem, too, Knight in Black; how's "Banishing Darkness" sound?
Anyways, thanks for the compliments, guys. I appriciate them. Oh, and I finally got that poem I was talking about earlier typed up. Here it is:

[U]Please[/U]

I must know,
I don?t know,
I gotta? find this out,
An obsessive need,
A pointless plea,
Curiosity?s got the best of me.
Bitte, onegai, please,
I need to know these things,
Don?t know what?s wrong with me,
I think it?s curiosity,
They say it killed the cat,
Well I?m a playful kitten,
And I?m dying to find out.
Bitte, onegai, please,
Miau, miau!
A kitten?s curiosity,
Nyan, nyan!
Come on, you gotta? tell me now,
Meow!
Bitte, onegai, please!

How did you like that one? Here's another one I wrote, it's very fast paced:

[U]Nightdream[/U]

Must sleep,
Can?t sleep,
These thoughts are far too much for me.
Dreaming,
Musing,
It?s a daydream in the night.
Thoughts flow,
Can?t stop,
Running, running, tap, tap, tap?
So good,
So deep,
Fly, fly away.
Waking,
Nightdream,
It?s a daydream in the night.

That one was not describing a nightmare, by the way. Actually, it was my musing on my own overactive imagination. Not a negative poem at all, in fact, it symbolizes energy. Now for the next poem (I'm on a poetry typing spree...):

[U]Nighttime Musings of a Poet[/U]

Isolated,
I?m perfectly fine,
Don?t really feel like talking,
I sit here pouring out emotions,
Letting them flow,
Page after page,
Poem after poem,
What I?ll do with them, I don?t know,
I?ll find a place to keep them
Until I think it up.
Blank and hypnotized,
That?s what?s in my mind,
It?s all on paper now,
So I must think of what to write,
I don?t know,
But I?m getting tired now?

No, nothing is wrong with me. I was just really tired when I wrote that one; you don't need to call a psychologist on me ^_^;. Now for a more upbeat one:

[U]Go Out[/U]

Go out,
Make a difference,
Make a friend,
Make a path.
Come in,
Take a seat,
Your heart is welcome here.
Take care,
You?re our friend,
You?re their hope,
You shine light on us.
Don?t you worry,
We?re your friends,
And we?ll help you through these years.

That one is dedicated to a couple of missionaries from Haiti who stayed at my house a while back. Now that I've cheered everybody up a bit, back to my normal "everything's all right, even if it seems bad at first" style poetry. I wrote this after a very gloomy event happened in my life, so the positive outlook at the end says a lot about my all enduring optimism:

[U]Stained Glass Life[/U]

I watch from a distance
As my life is shattered into pieces,
It crumbles down before my eyes
And leaves no traces of what it once was,
But is broken glass not still beautiful?
Can crumbled stone not be put to use?
If I place the pieces right
And leave design to greater forces,
Then I?ll become the artist
Of a life more beautiful than before.

Ok, now for another one. I really went overboard with the typing this time...:

[U]?Hello?[/U]

I hold my head up high,
To prove that I?m not weak,
Confidence runs strong,
A cocky pride runs through my veins.

I bow my head down low
To show respect to you,
But do you understand
That these feelings are so true.

Tears run down my cheeks,
You?re all but gone to me,
But you come and bow your head
In a casual ?hello?.

I close my eyes in glee
And smile to myself,
At that moment I realize
That you?ll always be my friend.


Well, I think I'm done typing up poems for now. I hope you liked them :D .

[black bird]

Hey ninetails390 , I'm flattered and I think the title fits the poem really well if your okay with it I'll keep it :D , thanks

I love the last sentence from night dream , it's a daydream in the night ... that's deep man . I think the beginning of that poem is really good and night time mushings of a poet is good aswel . Well I've got another poem aswell there is a bit of swearing in , I apologize . Okay here it goes :

[U]All eyes on me :[/U]

I am the one walked by
I am the one despised
I am the one told in rumours
all lied

All eyes on me
Cause there's the freak
you got to see

Whispers behind my back
Enough to hear
The insults slowly reach my ear

I'm tired of it all
Of the bullies , gangsta's
and the bitches that go to the mall


I want to make the word got and to into one word , think of slang . Because I think it flows better that way but I don't know how to write it these are my versions : gotta , goda , gada .....the last ones are ....well I don't know I think you don't write it in that way . Can someone help me out ? Thanks . Well that's all
bye bye :wave:

[Knightinblack89]

Wow. Those were realy great ninetails! I'm inspired! And blackbird.....I am also impressed.


My friend Clark

always there,
always cares,
never turns her back.
Even when i'm in a bad mood,
she's still there


My friend Hikaru

i know it's her with that sqeaky voice,
but i don't mind that.
i know it's her when i see her face,
i don't mind that.
she gives me the spooks when she tries to sing,
i don't mind...that...much...


My friend Fuu

shes moody, :shifty:
she likes food,
her favorite color is green.
i try not to get on the wrong side of her,
becuse she can be quite mean.
but even so i will care 'cuase,
deep down inside,
she has a heart of gold.( I think, that is.)


blackbird that all eyes on me made me think of school, and how it felt. I think it was very good. this is a very serious poem for me. I hope it's Ok.

the Father i once Knew

i'm sittin' here
i'm all alone
i wish that i was not.
the day i dread,
keeps creeping back,
i feel tears run from my eyes.
my heart will burst from cryin' out,
i wish i was still there,
back to a house i did dread,
but now i cry in my bed,
wishin', prayin', that i could see my father once more.
because a year or more is way to long for me to last.



can't think of a good title. any sugjestion?

cold and spiteful,
disruptive and wicked,
harshness and cruelity,
heartless and brutality ,
Thats what the darkness is.
hurt and pain,
anger and crabbiness,
displaesure and fear,
thats what the darkness creates.
but what the darkness most loaths and fears is,
faith and hope,
love and cheer,
pure and heavenly,
with which constructs a wonderful host of the pure and the Light.

(this has nothing to do with poems but.. if any one could help me with my issue of inserting an image, i'ld be glad if ya could help. thanks.)

[black bird]

Hey knightblack89 , Yeah the poem all eyes on me was written about my school . School ....it's so universal :rolleyes: . Your poem ; The father I once knew is good , very good . I love how you describe the two contrary feelings . The fear and the longing . If I'm wrong say so but I think it went about that . I also have some title suggestions for your poem . Maybe you like them , maybe you don't but maybe they give some inspiration . What darkness fears or maybe just darkness fears .

Hey ninetails390 , I reread the thread and I read your poem someday in one of your earlier posts . I think it's a kind poem . It's what a friend would say to someone when there down . Yeah I liked that poem very much . Well I got another one as well , here it goes :

[U]Blinded :[/U]

When our lips met
I didn't knew you where bound to forget
I already gave you my hart
But didn't knew you never wanted
to take that part

Love and happiness clouded my view
My view to judge you
Cuz in my mind I already knew ...
that it was to good to be true

I'm so naive
Why do I still listen to that forgotten part ?
Hidden deep inside my body
Because ...
Because it's my hart ?

I'm so naive
I should've suppressed my feelings
and disbelieve

I guess I wanted it
I needed it so badly
Someone that cared
Warm arms around me

My hart was closed
It was a mistake to open up
And once again
I froze

That was it bye bye :wave:

[ninetails390]

I'm back! Thanks for the comments you two, I liked all your poetry. (Thanks for the warning on the language, Black Bird. I'm a little leary of swearing, so I apriciate the warning; that was a pretty good poem, so I'll just let it slide :) ). Anyways, I haven't typed much more poetry over the weekend, I was vegetating on Fanart Central the whole time (my other favorite website to spend hours computer potatoing at), but I do have one quick one:

[B][U]Balance Cycle[/U]

Yin and yang,
Night and Day,
Black and white,
Dark and light,
Echoes ring with hope and light,
Shadows of the darkest night,
Restoring balance to the earth,
Never underestimate
The everlasting balance.[/B]

It's kinda short, but I like it. What do you think? Oh, and Black Bird, how about gotta', will that work?

[Knightinblack89]

Hey blackbird, thanks. Your poem was very good as well. Here are a few more poems.


another for my father

sunrize, a new day
i turn to look your way ,
will you come back?
or torment me and go the other way...
I must have you for my heart longs
but a guilt still hangs around me
for choosing the way to leave
father, my father i did'nt mean to hurt you


doesn't make sence now that i read it but i think it's ok.


well with out telling you to much... I have a Wicked step-mother and this is a poem i wrote thinking of her.... :flaming: :flaming: :flaming:


Wicked Step-Mother

It's you who took ,
my father away,
if it were not for you,
I'ld be happy,
but instead i have a growing hate,
for you who took my father,
will burn by the flames of Justice!
If you will not disapear from time,
you whos cursed and caused pain,
will soon know the word Vengeance. :flaming: :flaming: :flaming:


hmmm i feel a bit better typing that... heres another poem that i thought of watching The Return of the King. Don't got a title any ideas? And now that i read it through it almost sounds like one of the characters from L.O.R. asking either gandalf or Aragorn.



the night is becoming deeper,
the fight of all good may be lost..
if one small person fail to destroy the Ring
all will surely suffer the wicked.
Can Frodo prevail?
Or is there no hope?
is a fools hope enough?
well.. if we must wait..
i might as well hope..


well see ya later and i hope you don't see harry potter before me, bye!

[Guest kohaku_baka]

So I can post poetry on this site, huh? Cool! :wigout: So, how would I go about doing that? :wigout:

[Guest sageofdeath1]

hiya i am ok at writing poetry i guess, im to lazy to write one here but go to [url]www.poetry.com[/url] and search for me Sean Allen-Tawes i hope u like

sean

[MoRbIdYuLiA]

[FONT=Georgia]I admire your poetry...such emotions of life of which you speak. If you can please write more..I wish to hear more of your work.[/FONT]

[de1ayna]

wow, everyones poems here are so great you all should keep writing lol maybe I should post some more of my poems on here but they are a little depressing.......