Sensitive?

[vegeta rocker]

This has been kind of bothering me for a while and i want to know if i am just being too sensitive.

In school i am in my 3rd quarter and i don't like hanging out with the girls much; i'd rather hang out with the guys. But the guys don't like to hang out with me that much. They hang out with me sometimes but it just makes it harder when ever they ignore me.

It doesn't help that i like one of them a bit more than i should since he does have a girlfriend. But that doesn't affect me at all; i am just fine being his friend. I mean as long as he's happy.

But back to the point; should i continue to try to hang out with them?
Or should i try to make some more friends that are girls?
Am i being too sensitive about it?

[Mist]

[color=orange][size=1] The fact that you think you are overreacting is stupid. This is an easy situation to mend: You want to hang out with the guys because 1) They're more fun than the girls and 2) the guy you want hangs with them.

The problem is that you are asking for us helpers in internet land to make the decision: hang out with the people you trully have fun with or force yourself to hang with girl's against your will. And the thing is: there's no definite answer. Guys like to hang with the girl side of the group, but you have to understand that there are certain times when you should hang back and let them do their thing. As much as you want to be with them twenty-four seven, the fact that you are a girl and they are guys play against you. I'm not trying to be sexist, seeing as how I'm a girl, but the guys need thier time with those of their gender, just like us girls.

My suggestion would be to keep the balance you have right now: Some time with the girls and some time with the guys. To improve the girl posse, I would suggest keeping your eyes off of the hottie in the guy group and get to know one of the girls in the girl group instead. Try to pick someone who is more towards your personality. If all of them are totally not your type, then try to get in some activities that introduce you to new people.

Hope that helps a bit![/color][/size]

[Guest ScirosDarkblade]

As a guy, this is my suggestion. Guys will hang out with girls they think they can either bed, or that have a lot in common with them. So what you should do is become a "gamer," and get really into random guy stuff. It sounds like a stupid suggestion and something I might not have a right to say, but here's the deal:

Whenever I hang out with my buds and drag my girlfriend along, she's always alone because she doesn't do anything I do "with the guys," which might even be something like playing Super Smash Bros. Melee or Mario Kart. And even if it's just a trip to the movies or a park or something, I'll get into a random conversation about freaking Batman or whatnot with my friend and my g/f will just walk along with us, listening but not giving much input.

Anyway, I know it sucks for her, but the problem is when it comes to just "hanging out," I talk with whoever gives me the most interesting conversations.

My point is, there's only a few things that we can do to change that. Either I can stop hanging out with both my g/f and my other friends at the same time (and I don't have enough free time on my hands for that option), or my friends can start to talk about girl things like how hot Hugh Jackman is (sorry, but my g/f is really into Hugh), or she can try to do the crap we do and therefore enjoy herself more. I've told her this, and she's a bit too set in her ways to adjust, and also she doesn't care enough. But it seems to me that you do care enough, so that's why I said what I said.

In the end, of course you should do what YOU want to do. If it isn't worth the effort to get "closer" to the group of guys you hang out with, just keep an open mind and befriend someone you can have a more meaningful friendship with. As far as that "guy you like" goes, that's a different topic altogether.

[vegeta rocker]

thats the weird part, i am a gamer!
We play video games together and are in the same major.
We talk about guy stuff all the time, in fact they even tell me i'm the only girl they can talk about this stuff in front of.

But Mist has a point, no matter how much we have in common i am still a girl and i need to let them be guys. But man i wish i was a guy!

Though i have had a crush on one for about 7 months that would make me a gay guy. ^-^

[Guest ScirosDarkblade]

Hahahaha! Well alright, then! In that case, if there are still some problems, yeah follow Mist's suggestion and ignore mine altogether. I mean, hang out with whoever it's more enjoyable to hang out with, there's nothing more to it. But don't hang out with girls just because you're a girl. Hang out with them because it'll be fun. Though personally I find it a lot less fun, if there's [i]nothing[/i] down the road, but that's because I am 100% "dude," I think. Also because I don't do anything fun with girls except just sit and talk, and although that's sometimes fine it's nothing I'd miss. I've made no fond memories hanging out with girls. It's sad, but it's true.

[IceWolfEyes]

Try this, instead of hanging with a group of people based on their gender, try hanging with a group of people you like regardless of their gender.

If you have a ton in common with a bunch of people, be with them. Does not matter if they are guys or girls. Find where you belong and ignore the others.

So the guys are shunning you, and they are whom you would prefer to be with. Yeah, that hurts, yeah it sucks, but maybe you should find a real friend. A real friend can tolerate slight differences in body design.

I wish you well on the crush thing, but don't expect a teenage love story. Enjoy watching him out of the corner of your eye; create daydreams in which he plays a starring role. Have fun.

[Guest ScirosDarkblade]

[quote name='IceWolfEyes']I wish you well on the crush thing, but don't expect a teenage love story. Enjoy watching him out of the corner of your eye; create daydreams in which he plays a starring role. Have fun.[/quote]

I just want to say that IceWolfEyes is awesome for writing that, because it is sage advice. ... I guess I don't have anything else to add really, but that is exactly what my advice would have been had I thought about it. That's how I handled my crushes, anyway, partly because I was an idiot. ...hmmmm... did I want to say that?... Ok ignore me. Listen to IceWolfEyes. He is reasonable.

[IceWolfEyes]

[QUOTE]I just want to say that IceWolfEyes is awesome for writing that, because it is sage advice. ... I guess I don't have anything else to add really, but that is exactly what my advice would have been had I thought about it. That's how I handled my crushes, anyway, partly because I was an idiot. ...hmmmm... did I want to say that?... Ok ignore me. Listen to IceWolfEyes. He is reasonable.[/QUOTE]

Well, thank you ScirosDarkblade. I would like to correct you on one thing, though. I am a girl. Ah, yeah, that's all I had to say.

[vegeta rocker]

I don't hang out with them just because of their gender, i just enjoy the conversation.
Guys are more fun to me.

[Lady Macaiodh]

[color=darkblue]VR, darlin' I'm guessing that you are around 15 years old. I remember what it was like, so I'll try not to patronize.

Hee! This is the fun part:

I can tell you adore this guy. I don't blame you. I'm sure he's everything to you. But guess what.

This world is populated by over 6 billion people. Half of those are men. Now I will ask you a question, and I want you to think about it before you answer.

Is it at all possible that there is someone better out there?

I remember when I became a man-eater. (Okay, you mods, just hear me out.) One day it occured to me -- why in the goddamn hell would I ever want to settle for just one guy? Oh, I understand love and all that, but love is merely a chemical reaction in your brain. We actually have the capacity to love many people, girl or guy.

And just because you love someone, doesn't mean you can't ever love anyone else as much, or more.

One more piece of advice: Go up to this dream darlin', look him in the eye, and tell him how you feel. What's the worst that could happen -- he says no? Then you just move on to the next one. After all, there are only about 2,999,999,999 left (some of them probably better than the one you love now --sorry, sorry, just kidding!).

So call me a cynical *****, but there's no such thing as love. Love is a word used to explain a feeling inside. For every one you lose, there will be a hundred hotter guys that will come along.

As for being friends, what's wrong with that? Guys and girls are friends all the time. And I get the feeling this guy could fall head over heals for you... if you play your cards right. Be the listening ear. Be the sexy one without trying to be. Don't ever obsess about your looks, or the way he thinks about you. Always speak your mind, and don't be afraid to disagree with him.

Above all else, recognize your own beauty, even if you have to stare in the mirror for hours doing those crazy little poses that we chicks do, and think about every little thing you're proud of about you. If you see it in yourself, he will see it within you. A man can't resist a woman with confidence.

Just remember, you are a child of God. Who couldn't love that?

The next lesson will be about flirting. It will get you farther with men than you'd ever thought possible.

Your friend,
Deborah Macaiodh

PS: Feel free to ignore my insane ramblings.
The windows have gone black -- I scratch them with my nails to bring in some light. I've wilted, a plant with no sun to turn its face to.[/color]

[vegeta rocker]

I am go glad you posted Lady M; that is the best advice i have heard thus far.
I understand what you are saying but i can't convince my stupid head about the whole love thing.

In fact, think i'll quote you in my sig.

[Lady Macaiodh]

[color=darkblue]It's actually not that big of a deal, you know (though I'm sure it seems like it).

I went through this really bad time when I didn't understand guys. I remember this one song:

"She was the one that I wanted for all time,
and every night I'd pray that God would make her mine,
And if He'd only give me that wish I wished back then,
I'd never ask for anything again."

Garth Brooks (genius) wrote that for the No Fences album. The song is called "Unanswered Prayers." You should give it a listen. What happened in the song is that God didn't grant his wish. But by this point, he was married to the most beautiful woman (to him) in the world, so he realized that it all worked out according to God's plan.

I don't know if you believe in God or not, but it's a moot point. It's just a song, after all, and country music can be very sentimental.

THe best thing to remember is that there is a definite reason for things that happen, even if we don't understand them. Is it a higher power that controls it all? Who knows? Who cares? Does it even matter? You could practically kill yourself wondering why things happen the way they do. It's a waste of time.

One thing I forgot to say: I remember those puppy love, high school-type flames (in fact, I have one right now -- hee!) and there's nothing that can compare to that feeling.

Why don't you PM me? If you want to talk, that is. I'm always here to listen (even though I disappear from the boards for weeks at a time).

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.
Remember when you're talking to the Man upstairs.
Just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care.
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."

I still think you could capture the heart of this guy you want, if you really try.

And now! I'm done with this dissertation.[/color]

[Heaven's Cloud]

[QUOTE=Lady Macaiodh][color=darkblue]
One thing I forgot to say: I remember those puppy love, high school-type flames (in fact, I have one right now -- hee!) and there's nothing that can compare to that feeling.

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.
Remember when you're talking to the Man upstairs.
Just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care.
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."
[/color][/QUOTE]

[color=indigo]Heh, the worst part of puppy love is that it never lives up to the hype. Once you date a person that has infatuated you for a period of time their pedestal quicky crumbles. Then, once the lofty adoration subsides, you have to work on finding a true relationship with that person (although how that is accomplished is beyond me :p).

Anyway, if I could do highschool all over again I would definatley socialize more with people that I liked rather than those I thought I should like. So much time wasted...

Good luck with your dillemma![/color]

[Lady Macaiodh]

[QUOTE=Heaven's Cloud][color=indigo]Heh, the worst part of puppy love is that it never lives up to the hype. Once you date a person that has infatuated you for a period of time their pedestal quicky crumbles. Then, once the lofty adoration subsides, you have to work on finding a true relationship with that person (although how that is accomplished is beyond me :p).

[/color][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]As much as I love you, I have to disagree.

Some people are just as crazy in love as they ever were. The human mind releases neurotransmitters, during a relationship, for approximately four years. It's almost like a high. But after the high wears off, most people break up. But then, there are those who have made a [i]logical[/i] decision to be devoted to the one they love. It's not work. It's very simple, actually. It's actually a lot easier than relying on the emotions. Once a person decides to love, it gets much easier. The whole "falling in love" thing is the hardest part, because it's all based on hormones, specifically dopamine and epinephrine.

Real love is when you get past all that. The infatuation passes, and a deeper thing sets in.[/COLOR]

[dMage]

"Love is wats left from passion"

[Heaven's Cloud]

[QUOTE=Lady Macaiodh][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]As much as I love you, I have to disagree.

Some people are just as crazy in love as they ever were. The human mind releases neurotransmitters, during a relationship, for approximately four years. It's almost like a high. But after the high wears off, most people break up. But then, there are those who have made a [i]logical[/i] decision to be devoted to the one they love. It's not work. It's very simple, actually. It's actually a lot easier than relying on the emotions. Once a person decides to love, it gets much easier. The whole "falling in love" thing is the hardest part, because it's all based on hormones, specifically dopamine and epinephrine.

Real love is when you get past all that. The infatuation passes, and a deeper thing sets in.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[color=indigo]Works for me :)

Deb you've been in love, I have only been in failed relationships (I guess my neurotransmitters cop out early...stupid neurotransmitters), so I would have to say you are more experienced about the subject. However, you also know me well enough that if love is a logical decision, I am probably a lost cause. I am still waiting for that overwhelming spiritual tidal wave that I have read about to completely overwhelm me, lol.

Anyway Vegeta Rocker, my advice to you is to take Lady Mac's advice, she is one of the few people on the boards that I would concede knowledge and experience to...[/color]

[vegeta rocker]

Aghghgghgh i had so convinced myself this would not turn into a thread about him!
oh well, i am actually kind of glad it did. Im 18 though not 15 and i have only liked one other person in my life and that was for four years.

I am trying to give the guys their space and it seems to be working out fine. They have this game where they blast imaginary power at each other. One of them asked me to join in but it seems like butting in. So i just use the blasting game with the one who asked.

[ninetails390]

I hang out with boys all the time. They usually don't seem to mind, and I have had some pretty good friends who were boys. I'm a 13 year old girl and I've never really had a crush on anyone (I don't think... though I've been trying to avoid such things for a while, until I'm a little older, so I might have just ignored it: who knows), so I don't know much about that particular subject. Anyways, don't worry, I have a similar problem, only slightly different. One of my friends (I won't mention any names) seems to have aquired a girlfriend recently, and is now almost completely ignoring me (though he seems to accnowledge me a lot better when his girlfriend isn't around...), so, yeah... I hope you figure out your problem soon, though. Good luck ;) !