Writing My Simple Poems

[White Akita]

[CENTER]I'm only a beginner, so i need your true judement. :D people don't review my writing and sometimes i feel like they don't like it. Can you all just give me...well...."tips" and opinions? [/CENTER]



[CENTER][U]NO ONE KNOWS[/U]

NO ONE KNOWS,
HOW I FEEL DEEP INSIDE.
NO ONE CARES,
AND NO ONE FOR ME CRIES.

NO ONE KNOWS,
THE FEELINGS OF SORRROW,
THAT LIE SILENTLY DORMANT,
TO HURT ME TOMARROW.

NO ONE KNOWS,
HOW HARD IT IS TO STAND,
TO BE HATED,
WHEN LOVE IS AT HAND.

NO ONE KNOWS,
TO LOOK DEEP ENOUGH,
TO SEE WHO LIE,
SO DEEP IN STUFF.

NO ONE KNOWS,
TROUBLED SOULS HIDE,
OR OF COURSE,
OF HOW MUCH PAIN IN I RESIDE.

NO ONE KNOWS,
I WANT TO CHANGE.
SHED THIS COVER,
IT FEELS SO STRANGE.

NO ONE KNOWS THE LIFE I'VE LIVED,
WAS VERY HARSH,
AND ALL I HAVE GIVED.

NO ONE KNOWS,
BUT CONSIDER THEY WONT.
THIS WORLD IS HATE,
AND LOVE IS A DON'T.



[U]Why, Why?[/U]

All alone in the dark,
Alone with his pain.
He has lost all,
Nothing more to gain.

He has stopped his crying,
Will accept all dying.
Inwardly with no regrets,
All is pain he begets.

Time slowly slips away,
Hurting more day by day.
He looks up to cold blue sky,
And so wonders, why, why?

He will never shed a tear,
For he will never feel fear.
The paradox called life,
Has called nothing but strife.

He will still sit alone,
Long will his cover drone.
But none will take to,
Say nothing but shoo, shoo.

This boy slowly dies away,
Having nothing more to pay.
Now i see his spirit fly,
Now I wonder, why, why?[/CENTER]

[CENTER]
I would rather use simple words, and simple phrases to "describe" the poem. :D i'm not one who will use many large words. ;) Anyways, please post your reply's. I'm dying to know what ya'll think. :D [/CENTER]