Manga An idea for a story....

[Anqueetus]

So, I was trying to figure on some way to get my ideas out, and I figured drawing would be nice. So I sat and came up with this idea for a story, I have no concept art up yet, but I will, hopefully soon... so here goes my idea....enjoy.

It starts off in a strange world, where there are flying birds as long as skyscrapers put on their side (side note: I've included language much like Tolkien did with the Silmarillion. So animals and such things have specific names, like the bermaistguld and the mutowam...). We start with a young King looking over the edge of a "cliff" listening to the siren calls of the mutowam (sort of like a lizard but with a lot of feathers). The land is actually another dimension, and as such the world is infinately long. His kingdom that he rules over is a floating continent. And it faces a golden floating pyramid. The lands of this dimension are seperated into four sections. To the East is the Technologically advance civilization. To the West is the Historical Civilization (in other words they keep the records that they can of their people, they are allied with East). To the South are the people who defend the dimension from the constant attacks of the Vorjia (creatures of darkness and energy). To the north, however, is a place devoid of people. It is a bitter winter land much like Antartica. At the North is the recently discovered civilization of the ancient peoples called the Kortanac. The King of the floating Continent is aware that he is a decendant of the Kortanac and is very interested in the discovery.

Anyways, these people hold no animosity towards the Vorjia. Infact no one in this dimension express anykind of anger or fear or any other such negative emotion. They truely live in a utopean society. It is not mind control, it just never really occurs to them. Well when our King, Anamok, heads to the north to investigate a mural, they learn something new. It looks like one Kortanac is placing a rock on the back of the head of another kortanac and red juice seems to spring forth. No one in this land understands the meaning behind it, but Anamok hears something in his head and repeats it, Murder. They are all fascinated by this new word and are curious to see if this could be a genetic memory for Anamok. Long story short they try to recreate the situation and as a result Anamok gets angry, as he does he begins to flicker and turn grey. He is more startled now and fades back into his dimension. On a side note, Anamok has magical powers (just because, so deal with it, I explain it in the story a lot better). Well they eventually get Anamok into a murderous rage and he completely flickers out of that dimension. He finds himself now on a freeway with cars honking and zipping past him. His negative emotion took him out of his dimension and he now finds himself on Earth. but something's wrong. His mind is split. At times he is the kindest person ever, healing and just acting like a true saint, but the other half of his mind comes out at night. And he becomes the most feared person ever. As time goes on, he meets human friends, but the dark side eventually takes over his entire mind and body. Other beings from his dimension arrive, and they must now face the challenging role of killing who was once a respected and beloved friend. Anamok is now so corrupted with negativity that even the Vorjia will not go near him, but with the help of the other dimensional people, Anamok is finally killed. But because of this new taint, and innocence lost, the dimensional people cannot return to E.Din. (though I want to change that name, Ironnically E. Din means the Ebode of the Gods in Sumerian) That's Part One, Part Two takes place from the Earth Perspective, and Part Three takes place from the Edinians' perspective.

So this is my story I made up last night...seriously it only took me one day. But it's far from great. There are a lot of loopholes I need to close, and character developement for the Humans needs to happen since I haven't even begun. Actually the only character that is somewhat fleshed out is Anamok (full name is Priengas Ferbogluwache Anamok). Hopefully I will have some landscapes drawn soon, and a drawing of Anamok up for your viewing pleasure. If you want to contribute, hey I wont stop ya. If you have any advice, I would like to hear it. If you have a cat named Curious George Esquire the Third Fluffy Bottom Fuzzy Pants of Catnip and the Royal court of Tuna, then I would say you need help, seriously.

So thanks for taking the time to read my rant.

Edit: I'm trying to do Concept art of Anamok, but I can't! I can't figure out how he should look. I want a fantasy like look, but not with all the armor and such garbage.... ug.... It's driving me crazy.... Any ideas?


*looks around......no posts anything....* Don't everyone post at once...


Love, Peace, Chicken Greese (I need to learn how to spell English...)


Watakushi wa machi no baka gozaimashita... (For those of you playing the home game, that's, "I am the village idiot... *samurai mode*)

[pipopu]

Well, correct me if I'm wrong, since I dun know anything about drawing, but I enjoy them. I think that if you having problem creating your character's drawing, you can always try to mimic the ones you like in other manga... have a little bit here, a little bit there and vola! You have yourself a character! From all those that I've seen, they all look almost the same... maybe the same concept but I think that'll work for your cause. If you think that it seems lack something, you can always add something later, right? Here's something else... if can, dun give everyone the same look from the begining to end... looks odd when manga characters dun need to wash their clothes... hope that'll help you.

[Muad'Dib]

Wow... that's the best {BLEEP} story I've heard in a looong time. Well, it's not a story yet, but it's an excellent idea! At first it just seems liek your everyday fantasy manga.... then, you bring in this whole hate thing, and Anamok fading into our reality... it's awesome!

I'd love to see it turn into a manga... promise you'll post it on OB when and if you finish it ~_^.

As for character design, like pipopu said, screw around with different features until they look like what you want. Just make sure you have plenty of scrap paper.

Hey, you could turn this into a very deep, sentimental story.... like going really deep into Anamok's thoughts and internal struggle.

Just keep those creative juices flowin'.

[Anqueetus]

The thing with Anamok's negativity goes in with their Math. Positive things atract and conglomerate together to form One. Negative things seperate. So Anamok takes no joy into his negativity. To have joy in, say, anger would mean that he is not so much evil, but enjoys causing harm. With that in mind Anamok is somewhat of a tragic character because he is ridled with Fear, Anger, Guilt, Pain, and all sorts of emotions. Especially regret. The Regret causes him to avoid his friends, and people keep pestering him as to what's wrong, and so he retaliates in anger. What sets it apart is that Anamok is not use to such emotions, and that they are more intensified. That was my idea for Anamok.

This story is suppose to be related to the Story of Cain. And that all of Humanity are descendants of Cain's influence and such. Ironnically if you do research that is kind of true, but that's a philosophical and mythological debate for another day... Also about the Floating pyramid. I remember reading somewhere about the King's Chamber from the Pyramids of Giza. Supposedly the missing King's Chamber is a room full of the secrets of Life. It is supposedly made from a superconductive material and gathered so much energy that it phased out of our dimension. Well in my story, that's what the floating pyramid is. It's the remnants of the Pyramid of Giza. That is fleshed out a little more in all three parts of the Story, but it will be in Part Three that the Golden pyramid really comes into light, because it would allow the Edinians into our Dimension.

On a side note, I have one picture of concept art for Anamok's friend from the East, but it's a profile and only his head. I'll post that on here later on today. Hopefully from such a meager picture you will be able to give me a somewhat good idea on how the body should look.

Story ideas, language, and titles I can come up with like nothing.... drawing a person in my head is like giving a diabetic a chocolate bar and saying nothing will happen.... IT JUST DOESN'T WORK!!!


Working Titles:
The Legend of Cain
Portents of Trepidation
The Last Embrace
E.DIN.
:flaming: :devil: :tasty: (Probably not a good title)


I'll think of something later......

Thanks for the comments, they do help, and I think I shall get started on it right away.

[Reiayni]

The story overall sounds intriguing....but the concept of hatelessness is a little off to me. If there is no evil in their minds, what drives them on? People live knowing there is good, but you can only recognize what is good by contrasting that of which is good to that of anything that is bad. Also if they've never recognized discontent or anger how can they experience it?

personally I think a world is best balanced with good and evil, a true Utopia would almost be impossible to describe because it has never been seen. People in it would be totally different and society would be virtually nonexistent because people would see each other as equal, so why would there be a king?

enough of my babbling, but for a character without armer I suggest flowing robish style clothingl. I don't know really but it mostly depends on how that character acts and feels.

[Anqueetus]

Well, Rei, the thing behind this is one, a King is sort of a Title that means this guy takes care of the Lands and peoples. Two, as for needing Anger and such violence, it really isn't necessary. Or atleast in this world. What drives them? Themselves. They don't need evil to show them the way. Yet in our world, we are adults, and we need to experience life and such, so we need to have the wide range of emotions and likes. Think of it as our world is a little more complicated and such. Now on with the concept art I tried to do...


This is for the friend of Anamok, Erokyn. Erokyn comes from the East, and is based off of Seto from Love Hina. For some odd reason my brain and butt just can't seem to work together and so when I rush through a drawing (these took me about five or so minutes to draw. Give or take a few minutes) it looks really bad, but I just wanted to get the basics down before I try really getting into the drawings. Call me impatient, fine. For me, profiles are so easy to do, that I just pump them out like nothing. A front view is pretty hard for me, and if I sat there for thirty minutes, I would have a pretty good front view for ya. A 3/4 view is insanely difficult for me at this time, as such I decided to omit the chance of you all poking fun at my drawings. Now this guy, Erokyn is suppose to be young and joyful. Unfortunately he ends up being one of the guys that has to take down Anamok in the end.

So here are some images...they are pretty bad...(what's really bad is I can't seem to get my pictures up...hhhhmmm...)

[Reiayni]

why would they live for themselves? the only fault so far they have is their naiveness and ignorance of it. If they see no problems or better things in the future, what in themselves do they live for? (just wanting to know)

As for the picture, he looks like a person entering into the beginning of the adult stage of life rather than being young. I think it is the facial hair. Also, I think it is just me, but the eyes are too big and happy for the rest of the head. I say if you get rid of the facial hair, it'd all be great. Well that's my opinion leastaways.

[Guest CalvinandHobbes]

That's a really great beginning of a story! I WANT TO HERE MORE! Hurry up with it will ya? ;) Are you gonna post it here, or on The Otaku or anything? Tell me sometime about that, please!

[Anqueetus]

Rei, I'm not going to argue with you...since I agree with you......I hate you...why must you do this to me.....we had such a good thing going. Is it me? I can change....man don't try to change this wild hog! No seriously, with the whole naiveness like thing, yeah..that is kind of crazy. I guess really that's just a contrast thing for our world and theirs. What drives them in them, I don't know. I don't live in their dimension. Why do you have to be so intelligent, just let it go and let it be my atempt of being lazy. Stop making me do more work and fleshing out my story to make it better....lol... Anyways, as for my haphazard drawings, I guess when I ment young, I ment old? I wanted Erokyn to be an adult scientist guy, but not a teenager. Young but not crazy old hairy manbilla. But, I'll give it a go with no William Riker look, and much more manly-esque eyes. I'm also going to put more time into this..so the drawings won't come for a bit... For me to do a real drawing it takes hours....ug...but it'll be done. Rei, I really do appreciate your comments. Keep them coming...I DEMAND IT!!! (Besides Rei, your Jibs are well cut, and as such I will expect no less from those of well shaped jibs)

Now, Calvin.....hhhmmm...didn't know I could post a Manga on here....well if can, now you know where my Manga will be. As for more information....got to be specific with me, what do you want to know?

[Reiayni]

I really think your story has potential in it, you just need to fill in the blank spots. I'm glad you value my opinion. Just post some more more pieces of your story and I'll be more than happy to tell you what I think.

Maybe if I get up and do some work I'll post some ideas and you can return the favor.

[Anqueetus]

Well, for the first part, I use science a lot in my stories. This world of Anamok is Eden as we know it, but in the story people call it the Hyper Dimensional Time Stream. Mankind did not leave Eden at the fall of Adam, but at the fall of Cain. So that's who the Edinians are. As for their personality, I'm almost leaning towards a Deus ex Machina. I'm thinking they are the way they are just because that's who they are. I want them to be devoid of negative emotions, just so Anamok can go crazy as I want him to. Any thoughts on how I can justify them as being always happy and bearing no ill thoughts? On a side note I just starting drawing Yoshiko Tasaki, not only my Grandmother's name, but also the lady who finds Anamok and befriends him. As for the drawings, I might have them up today. So bear with me.

[klinanime1]

Now THIS looks promising. No mahou-shojo fluffiness, just a serious, thought-provoking plot. My comp's resolution sucks, so I'm very sorry that I can't help you with the art critiques (meh, can't see...), but the story is very intriquing. It would be great to view in manga form.

[Reiayni]

hm......getting better. As for the eden part, weren't adam and eve thrown out of the garden when god found out they had eaten from the tree? so wouldn't cain have been born outside and not in? maybe i'm just getting mixed up, but i do know that besides those two in the garden i THINK that lilith and naamah resided there. not sure......

as for justifying the crazy edinians personalities. That is definitely going to take more story elements. You are going to have to make them a past or a reason for being the way they are to justify them. Maybe there souls are lacking an element that the original humans had, or maybe they are the spawn of lilith or naamah who were made of sediment instead of fine dust(i think that's what it was) like Adam. OR maybe they are the true image of God(if you would like him to be an all around good guy) Things like those will make your story complete.

Maybe this babbling is a little crazy, but I'm half asleep, I'm still tired from the MTAC, an anime convention, so I might be a little off today....

good luck