Writing Smolder My Mind

[Jaganshi]

A new poem by me. It's based on a personal experiance. And I'd be oh so happy if I could get some constructive critisim (I can't spell right now so blah.). If You don't like tell me what you don't like and how I could possiblely fix it. If you like it tell what you like about it. But if you are going to just say "that poem is the sux" please don't.



I was only happy when it rained,
But then you took that away,
And left the scar on my mind.
It'll last till the end of time.

Now tell me baby,...

Are you happy when it rains?
Are you proud of my scar?
Of what you've done to my mind,
And the damage you've done?

Did I leave my mark?
Did it hurt when I branded you?
Did my fire scorch your mind?
Is the smoke in your eyes?

Just pull your hood up and turn away,
It'll all be okay.
Just keep saying that.
Four more years and you are mine.
Cos then I can get you outta my mind.

I'll scratch and claw,
Twist and bend...
I'm locked in my white room,
and the walls are closin' in.

4 more years can't come in time,
Gotta get you outta my mind.
Cause baby all infatuation dies.

And there it is! Smolder My Mind. And just a little fun fact when I use the word smolder in the title here I mean both defintions. Pent up emotions and coals.