Quotes

[Retribution]

Does anyone have any quotes that are funny, memorable, true or otherwise?

I know I have a couple, but I'd like to see what everyone else has said around the world!

[xmystic_silverx]

[COLOR=teal][SIZE=1]Its in my signature... wise saying, ne? I think so. Its very.... very something. Not the Kurama Hiei part, the saying below it.

OKay, I should explain this quote I guess. Actually it was kinda altered from "don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes" they just added the having new shoes part. I think the real quote from whence it came, is really true in every way. You don't really know what someone is going through unless you've been through it yourself, thus you shouldn't jugde someone quite yet. This is kinda like the famous saying "do unto others the way you would have done onto you."[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Rinoa Heartilly]

No, no. I can't do that! What am I thinking? I'm a man of God for God's sakes! - Nicholas D. Wolfwood

My name is Vash the Stampede! Forgive the lack of warning, but it's time for my daily massacre! If you do not believe I am the real thing, take a good look at me and start freaking out! - Vash

I'm so glad you asked! it's a long story... although its kind of a short one. -Nicholas D. Wolfwood

[Rinoa Heartilly]

Lesson, Lesson! If you see a stranger, follow him! - Radical Edward

Oh, no, I?m fine. I only feel like an angel who was sitting on cloud nine, playing my harp without a care in the world, when all of a sudden, my wings were riped off, sending me plummeting down to hell and the sulfurous Abyss of Pure Misery. ?Hideki

And so, they all passed away, every one. It was a short series, but thanks for your support. That was the last episode. May they all rest in peace, amen. And for the next series, we bring you Cowgirl Ed! Ed is the main character you know. - Radical Edward

The real lesson: don't leave anything in the fridge. - Spike Spiegel


I love Cowboy Bebop

[John]

Chinese proverbs:

Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]Quotes are always fun. Infact, I have a word document devoted to quotes. lol. *grin* I won't name them all. Here's two for you:

"There are no stories that will never end nor are there dreams that you'll never awake from. The deeper the fun is, the deeper the joy is, the more merciless is its ending." - Yohko Yamamoto, Soreyuke! Uchuusenkan Yamamoto Yohko

(^ very morbid, huh?)

"Oh that I had wings like a dove, for then I could fly away and be at rest." - Henry James. If I'm not mistaken, he wrote [i]A Portrait of a Lady[/i].[/color]

[Circ]

Heard yesterday by a friend:

"In the beginning, God was the Verb -- And Jesus the direct object."

Best Heresy I've heard in a while.

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]"The ability to make accurate observations is often reffered to as cynicism by those who do not have it." - a very smart individual, who's name has escaped me

The above quote is simply true in every possible way--you can't argue with it without sounding like a naive moron. That's why I love it.

"Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ."

I hear this phrase so often, it's almost as though it has been driven into my skull with a bolt and a sledgehammer. Or burned on with a cattle prod. Really. o.o
I like the way it tends to confuse people, though I don't see what's anything but straight-forward about it.

"A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle."

Because, yeah. *nod*[/FONT][/COLOR]

[dMage]

There is more time than life. -Latin proverb
my dad always uses that one when I say I dont have enuff time to get things done.

Competence is infinite. -Colbey Calistinson

Do or do not. There is no try. -Yoda

Love is whats left from passion. -Anonymous

[Charles]

We've had similar quote threads over the years and I've never liked them. People simply copy and paste without making any contributions towards a dicussion. Having said that, I will allow this thread to continue for now, but bear in mind that those of you posting must [b]discuss [/b]your quotes. You know, like Godelsensei has. If I don't see this happening, I'm going to have some moderating to do.

[wrist cutter]

I don't know if this counts as a quote... instead it's a drawn out piece of dialogue from the funniest movie ever, Three Amigos!

El Guapo: Would you say I have a [i]plethora[/i] of pinatas?
Jefe: Oh, si, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what does plethora mean?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: I would not like to think that someone would tell me I have a plethora of something, and then find out that that person does not know what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, you know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that, once again, you are mad at something else, and look to take it out on me?
El Guapo: Eh.
Jefe: Could it be, because today you turn 40?
El Guapo: Naaaah.
Jefe: Could it be, because Carmen chooses to sleep in her cell, rather than with you?
El Guapo: ...
Jefe: Why don't you just take her? You want cattle, you take the cattle. You want food, you just take the food! You want a woman, you just take the woman.
El Guapo: Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the pedals of a flower. But when the time is right, the flower will open itself to you.
Jefe: When do you think Carmen will "open her flower" to you?
El Guapo: Tonight.... or I will KILL her!

Yes, I live by these words. There are many more, of course:

Ned: I think it's a mail plane.
Dusty: How can you tell?
Ned: Didn't you see the little balls?

OR OR OR:

El Guapo: And... you!
Dusty: Jose!
Crowd: Jose!!
El Guapo: Together we...!
Dusty: Burned the village!
Crowd: Yay!
El Guapo: And we...!
Dusty: Rode out on the women!
Crowd: Yay!
El Guapo: And we...!
Dusty: Raped the horses!
Crowd: Yay!
El Guapo: And we...
Dusty: Plundered!
El Guapo: Plundered, and...
Dusty: Pruned!
El Guapo: Pruned, the eeh..
Dusty: Hedges!
El Guapo: Hedges of...
Dusty: of many small villages!
El Guapo: Of many small villages.... WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
Jefe, putting a gun to Dusty's head: He's one of the damn Amigos!
El Guapo: What is going on here?! Are gringos falling from the sky?!
Ned falls to the ground from his position above.
Jefe: Yes, El Guapo.

[Sara]

[size=1][b]I'd just like to remind everyone to put some effort into their replies. Say why you like something, or give some background on the quote. Madly cutting and pasting with get this thread closed in a heartbeat.

Thaaaaaaaaaank you.[/b][/size]

[sublime2004]

[size=1][color=darkgreen]"Why do you people always ask why? Oh, why? When [i]how[/i] is so much more fun."[b] -John Leguizamo as 'The Violator' in Spawn the movie.

Another testament to the simple pleasures in life. Such as greed, lust and destruction. For some reason, this line just spoke to me.[/b]

"Bang."[b] -Spike Spiegel
[spoiler]
This guy was so tough that he went out with a bang. Literally. This is how I imagine I want my death to be: bloody, bullet riddled and with famous last words. I almost cried when I saw it. I was all, "He can't be dead. He's f***in' [i]Spike[/i], for God's sake."[/b][/spoiler]

"I must apologize for the lack of bloodshed in tongiht's program. We shall try to do better next time."[b] -Alfred Hitchcock

There's no real reason why I like this quote. I just think it's funny. It's also a quite curmudgeonly accurate view of today's media.[/b]

"The inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking."[b] -H.L. Mencken on conscience.

I totally relates to me because I always used to get into trouble. And then, I started to learn the concept of conscience by asking myself whether or not I would get into trouble for doing something. It really didn't work all that well.[/b]

"They smell and they snarl and they scratch; they have a singular aptitude for shreddinig rugs, drapes and upholstery; they're sneaky, selfish and not particularly smart; they are disloyal, condescending and totally useless in any rodent-free environment."[b] -Jean-Michel Chapereau on cats.

I hate cats.[/b]

"Do you know on this one block you can buy croissants in five different places? There's one store called Bonjour Croissant. It makes me want to go to Paris and open up a store called Hello Toast."[b] -Fran Lebowitz

It's as close a sentiment I can come to describing my frustration with Starbuck's. Maybe if they didn't sell cow excrement and label it as coffee, I wouldn't have a problem. But, we don't live in a perfect world...[/b]

"Only one more indispensable massacre of Capitalists or Communists or Fascists or Christians or Heretics, and there we are in the Golden Future."[b] -Aldous Huxley

I will leave you with that. Think about it...[/color]

BTW: I didn't copy and paste any of these. So don't give me crap about that.
[/size][/b]

[Circ]

[I]Why haven't anybody ever told me Venice was built on Water?[/I] - my sister

[SIZE=1]I like to say my sister is the person with the less common sense on this face of the planet, this particular quote always has me chuckling, because it is so characteristic of her. I recall a long and painful argument with her because she kept teling me a foetus grows inside the placenta [/SIZE] :sweat:

[I]Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.[/I] - Albert Einstein.

[SIZE=1]Each day, this quote strikes me as truer. It goes so well with my general theorie that humanity is basically stupid and egoist.[/SIZE]

[Guest Dark_Kitsune]

[COLOR=Silver][COLOR=Silver]"Being defeated is often a temporairy condition. Giving up is what makes it permenent."[/COLOR][/COLOR]

[Ben]

"Odds only prove that there is a chance."

If you're going to put something down because the odds are terrible, perhaps you should look at the other side of the coin. If there are odds, then it's not impossible.

"Don't do anything stupid." - my family's motto. >_>;;

Pretty basic, and yet so many people don't get it. I'm told this every time I leave my house to do something, and haven't forgotten it yet.

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails."

Life's not always going to go your way, sometimes you just have to go with the flow. If you don't, you'll wind up going in the wrong direction.

"It's difficult to be religious when certain individuals are never incinerated by bolts of lightning." -Calvin and Hobbes.

I am very much in agreement with this. :D And it's Calvin and Hobbes, which rocks.

[Nomad]

Hmmm.. quotes? Ok, here ya go.

I am known by none, but feared by many.
Half the lies I tell are not true. -- Both from the ending of a song from Zug Izland. I think the song was Synplicity.

and....
Interpol! Freeze!! - Arthur Watson from The Medallion.

I like the first two because they're just weird and will make your head hurt to try and think about them, well at least my head hurts. Heh :D

And the Watson one is just hilarious. Especially when does it in the movie. He pops out of nowhere and yells that. And most of the time, no one is around him. :D

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]"Always pillage [i]before[/i] you burn."

The above quote can be seen on the basic, reasonable level, or you could choose to dive deeper and say it's a statement about how you should reap the benefite of everything before quitting. But that would be [i]so very[/i] pretencious. : /

"See that little island? That's where all the people who care live." - Dilbert

Ahh, yes, Dilbert. Alice said this. The line is just so undeniably [i]useful[/i]. I mean, how often do you hear people going on and on with great intensity about something that really doesn't matter? Too often.
And that happens to be one of my favourite lines for telling them.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]I really do have a notebook full of my favorites

A man's honor lies between the legs of a woman-Pakistani saying (Jane Magazine 2000) This one was used in a story about a woman who escaped a forced marriage and brutality from her family and moved to the United States with her chosen husband.

Everything 's about head games in this ********** place. If it's like this in the real Army, I'll beg the enemy to kill me- Lincoln in a letter to me about Basic Training.

If you love a waist, you waste a love-Jane Yolen. This is from a book on twisted fairy tales and I don't think it could be more true.

[b][u]Fallen Angels By Walter Dean Meyers[/u]

[b]NEws Crew[/b]-So what do you think about Vietnam? [b]

PeeWee[/b]-Vietnam? *looks around like he was in shock* I must've gotten off at the wrong stop, I thought this was St. Louis.

[b]News Crew[/b]-*walks away*

Sex, Chinese Acrobats, Show Business. Nobody stays on top forever-George Burns

If a man says he loves God, but hates his brother, he is a liar. For how can he love God who he has not seen, when he hates his brother, who he has seen.-1st John

I think that one is basically saying, you can't have hatred in faith because it weakens your faith.

Well, that's all I have for you right now. [/color]

[Nomad]

Fallen Angels, ah, a great book. I think I've read it like 5-6 times since eighth grade. I don't usually read a book all the way through, let alone more than once. Anyway, back on topic, here are a few quotes from the song If by ICP.

If I was your TV, I'd be like, "look at me"

If I was a radio DJ, I'd probably say "The Point, 103"

If I was your mental stress, I'd be catching up

And if I was your tounge, I'd be hating your teeth, I'd be like "Oww! Why you alway bite me, everytime we try to eat?"

If I was a chair, I'd be like "Sit here"

That's just a few of many. :D

[Shwa]

Mine owuld have to bef rom the .hack// game series:

I must...
Speak with Morganna

To go where she is.
The living flesh poses a hindrence

But I must...
I must go. For our Aura

Emma, please give me a little more courage

~Herald's Notes 2 from.Hack//Mutation

[Balinese]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]i have many, simply because i collect those that make me think, smile or both.

"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in very large groups." ~ John Kenneth Galbraith

"Guess if you can, choose if you dare." ~ Pierre Cornielle

"I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." ~ Voltaire

"Don't stick your tongue out unless you intend to use it." ~ David Lee Roth

"There was never a saint with red hair." ~ Russian Proverb

“Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.” ~ Mark Twain

“While there is a lower class I am in it, while there is a criminal element I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.” ~ Eugene Victor Debs

"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." ~ Anonymous

“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.” ~ Chinese proverb

“An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.” ~ Victor Hugo

“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

"The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense." ~ Tom Clancy

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” ~ Hunter Thompson

“How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.” ~ Anonymous

“Reality continues to ruin my life.” ~ Calvin

"My mind is so twisted, it's actually sprained." ~ Anonymous

"If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it." ~ Anonymous

“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept.” ~ Calvin

"You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core. I like that in a person." ~ Anonymous

"He that will not reason is a bigot. He that cannot reason is a fool. He that dares not reason is a slave." ~ William Drummond

"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more." ~ Oscar Wilde.

"All racists who are prepared to die for their country, please do so now." ~ Anonymous

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." ~ Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em." ~ Harry S. Truman

"Heaven don't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous

"It is not enough to conquer, one must learn to seduce." ~ Voltaire

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous tools out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters." ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” ~ Sherlock Holmes.

"Well-behaved women rarely make history." ~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

“There is a fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness’.” ~ Dave Barry

"With increased knowledge comes an increased capacity for pain. So if ignorance is bliss, enlightenment must be pure hell." ~ Darien Fawkes

[b]and my personal favorite:[/b]

"A sense of humor is the only thing which keeps intelligent people from hanging themselves." ~ Voltaire[/FONT]

[King Ansem]

"to be connected is to exsist exsisting only happens when you are known to exsist thats what makes life"-ME

Life is the pretious gift from time to destroy it is the ultamit crime the truth is that hummans have commited that crime since the dawn of our exsistance-ME

[IceWolfEyes]

I love Twain with a passion. So quite naturally most of the quotes I enjoy are from him.

[quote name='Mark Twain']In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years, the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore in the Old Silurian Period, the Mississippi River was upward of one million, three hundred thousand miles long... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.[/quote]

Read it. All the way through. It'll make sense to you eventually.

[quote name='Mark Twain']Huber, Lubbock, Maeterlinck--in fact, all the great authorities--are agreed in denying that the bee is a member of the human family. I do not know why they have done this, but I think it is from dishonest motives. Why, the innumerable facts brought to light by their own painstaking and exhaustive experiments prove that if there is a master fool in the world, it is the bee. That seems to settle it. But that is the way of the scientist. He will spend thirty years in building up a mountain range of facts with the intent to prove a certain theory; then he is so happy in his achievement that as a rule he overlooks the main chief fact of all--that his accumulation proves an entirely different thing. When you point out this miscarriage to him he does not answer your letters; when you call to convince him, the servant prevaricates and you do not get in. Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of them.[/quote]

Again, a long quote. However, it does make a good point.

[quote name='Mark Twain']The proof in the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it; they also believed the world was flat.[/quote]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial Narrow]My favourite quote is:
[i]Call me The Customer because I'm always right[/i]
It just epitomises all that is arrogant in the world, as well as integrates itself easily into an awesome son by the Hilltop Hoods.

~CrH~[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]