Writing A Poem A Day

[Amity]

My poem for you guys/girls today is: Lifeless
Hope ya'll like my poems...

Life is nothing
A game
Yes a game that swallows you
And puts you in shame
A world so twisted
Sick and sad
Until one day
Then it gets too bad
A falling dream...
A flashing scream...

Delighting minds with my shadows
Relying on their ways to grow
You want it all
The greatest smile
Who wants to deny forever
You're made of ice
And I pay the price
For all you...
Unforgiveness

Sitting in the sun
No rays down on me
A desert place I'm not alone
Do you really want to be me?
You're moving on
You'll never be a part
Just drain my tears
I cry aloud
I'm moving on
I'll never be a part
Of all your tears
I die now....

[Brasil]

I almost get a Smashing Pumpkins sound from this poem. A fan of Billy Corgan, by any chance? With some revision, this could be turned into lyrics. I swear, I was hearing Billy Corgan during some of this. That's a good thing, of course. Smashing Pumpkins rocks.

A few lines that I found especially delicious,

[QUOTE]Life is nothing
A game
Yes a game that swallows you
And puts you in shame[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Delighting minds with my shadows
Relying on their ways to grow[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Sitting in the sun
No rays down on me
A desert place I'm not alone[/QUOTE]
The imagery and tone of these selections work very well to establish the mood of isolation from the world. Being swallowed, playing in the shadows, sitting in the desert, all illustrative of isolation.

The "game" excerpt was especially nice, because I kept hearing "The world is a vampire."

Nice job, Amity.