Manga Storyline help

[Guest hotaruskins]

At the moment, I am beginning to consider picking up a manga idea I dropped a few months ago called Savior/Saviour. It's about a girl called Carrise (maybe... name changes may be made) who is robotic clone of God. God was killed by man in his ignorance and pride, believing he could rule himself. (please note, details aren't entirely thought out yet!) She's the 24th in a line of robotic clones, and all the previous clones died after 16 years of living... Carrise has been living under the specialized dome of grey for 15 years and is condemned to die in seven months. The reason for this is that the robotic bodies are not powerful enough to hold such power over the human world for very long without dying. She is emotionless, and the reason for the grey dome is to prevent her from ever gaining emotions, proving hazardous for the human race as she could tetermine the fate of their world. She finds a childs book on colours, a misplaced item from the world she is banned from. As soon as she read the book, she destroyed the grey dome unpurposely in her mind, and therefore it became a reality. She must be now kept in the human world for her last seven months of duty, another dangerous task as her falling in love would cause as much havoc as a complete lack of rulership in the world. What shouldhappen when she must go to school like a normal Japanese schoolchild, as well as falling in love with the innocent and impressionable Takeshi? What else should happen, it's boring after that.

[Sandy]

Well, the story [I]sounds[/I] manga-ish, but is it very original? In my opinion, no - I haven't read that much manga or watched anime, yet I still see quite many themes in your story that have been used many times before (female clone falling in love with a human boy is probably the most striking of them). If you want examples, I can give you "Ghost in the Shell", "Macross 2" and even "Ah My Goddess".

But I really don't want to put your creativity down - it's [I]how[/I] you do it that counts in manga, in my opinion. If you have drawing talents, and now how to do manga comics, then it really doesn't matter what the storyline is (this isn't going on sale, right? ;) )

So, I suggest you give it a shot. Start sketching, and the story will unveil itself during the process if it is destined to. :)

[klinanime1]

A robotic, clone like being playing God to the human race? It's interesting, but I'm not sure how practical. Is there a specific reason there has to be a controling being? If so, it should know something about humanity and not be cut off from the human race, right? Or is this a utopian setting? An anarchy? How was God killed, and does he have a body, or was he killed some other way? I believe you should look more into this, and maybe it will trigger some more interesting plotlines.

[Guest hotaruskins]

Thank you, klinanime1, for giving me a few questions I have to answer. I always forget to do important things like question the practicality of my storylines! But, does anyone have any ideas for what can go on in Carrise's/Calisu's life? Because that's one of my seriously dry areas. Thanks, everyone!

[eleanor]

[color=firebrick] Um...seven gals magically turning into enemy-fighting super-people isn't really practical either. I don't think you should worry about making it practical, that would turn it into this giant comic filled with random scientific theories...which is not good. It [i]is[/i] pretty original if you think about it. You really made a nice plot about this gray dome using the whole 'god' base.

If I'm allowed to, the story would obviously be set in a futuristic setting, but klinanime1 asked some very nice questions.

*ponders* Well, I'd guess that the people behind this whole clone thing would probably be going mad right now and trying to find where she is [unless I'm missing something here], so that can be tied in. Of course, you'll have to put in the difficulties of the clone learning how to adapt and learn customs and such [i.e. Chi from 'Chobits']. The only good thing I can think of right now is that events will lead up to Carrise's final decision between a crosspath. Very common, but nonetheless very effective. Good luck! ^^[/color]

[0ber0n the Neko]

Hmmm... Well to give my personal opinion... It needs a bit of tampering. The seven months idea adds a sense of urgency and may cause drama near the end of the series...the character, though... I dunno. A character that doesn't exist in behavior, but exists in person, is a very uninteresting character. You need to give the lead a more focused set of mannerisms. What are her bad habits? Why should we care if she lives or dies? How can she fall in love as a robot, but still be God? (again) Why does the grey dome exist, and how did she get the colors book? Why does she have to be a clone of God?

Then there is the Main love interest. Bear in mind that this is a very hard role to create, as it has to contrast just enough from the lead to create diversity and conflict, but also has to be similar enough to be compatible. An emotionless, heartless kind of character does not have very many good match ups.

Lets see... Maybe you could add political intrigue, and maybe even a conflict in governmental powers to make the story have more depth. you could make it so there are people looking for the Godclone, and wish to harness it for different reasons. One of which could be another Godclone! ^_^;; I'm straining meself. It's late. Well I hope to hear more of the story as it develops! It sounds promising!

Adios and sayanora

-0ber0n

[asian_tofu]

There are a lot of plots that have to do with the fate of the world. For the time when she's in the school, it might turn into a typical high school drama, and you'll have to be cautious of that. What about her secret? You'll have to give her [I]some[/I] type of personality or else the people will know there's something wrong. The plot definitely conflicts with the character, but you might want to be able to let readers be able to relate to the character in some way, cause being God and human...put some emotions, or...yeah. :D

--BLUE