A Little Trouble with Relationships

[Epitome]

[size=1]Well recently, about 3-4 months ago, I met this amazing girl. I met her at a party that my neighbor was having, and we clicked. She spent the night over as did I, and we had a blast. The next morning I woke up and she was packing an extremely large suit case, and I was curious to see what it was so I asked, she said Im going home. I was like did you really need all of those clothes, and she said yes because... SHE LIVED IN VIRGINIA!!!!!

I live in Maryland so I only see her maybe every 2-3 weekends. Now she means so much to me, its like unbelieveable. We are currently trying a "long distance" relationship but it just really isnt working for me. So what I am trying to get at is, what do you think I should do, "break up" with her? And I really dont want to hurt her feelings, because she really means alot to me. So what do you think?[/size]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]I am really curious about how old you are, but heck, I'll still give advice.

Long distance relationships are tricky and they can be really trying at times. Believe me I know. I'm married to an Army guy and I think we may have spent a total of One and three quarter years out of an almost four year relationship together.
But if you're strong enough and you really think this is what you want there's no doubt you can make it work.

However, some relationships just aren't meant to last and if it starts to take a toll on you or this girl you're with the best thing to do is just break it off. I'm not being harsh, I'm being truthfull. Especially if you're young.

I hope this helped, if not well, you can always Pm me or listen to more advice which might be better than mine.

Sincerly ,
CHW[/color]

[HOTpage2004]

Heck, just forget about her, if you guys cant even keep in touch with long distance, than whats the point. Either that or give her a chat room that you'll be in and let her go there. If it doesnt work out, life goes on, try not to get left behind.

[Queen Asuka]

[color=hotpink][size=1]Being in a long distance relationship is VERY trying, and only works if both sides are willing to give in a lot and to keep things together. I've been dating the same guy for over two years and when I moved away to college, putting a 3-hour driving distance in between us, it made it very hard for us to see each other. We only see each other twice a month, and even then it's tricky to get together. I know that 3-hours doesn't seem like a long way, but try making that drive at 10pm in the dark with nothing to see but pine trees.

If this girl means that much to you, I don't see why you shouldn't try to have a relationship, but I personally think in the end it wont be worth it unless you are planning on getting married sometime soon.[/color][/size]

[NeoNabishen]

I have tried the long distance thing before. It kind of sucks, I know, but if you really like here then it should not matter. By the way you wrote your letter though I think you are more wearied about hurting her feelings than anything else. That?s really nice and all but if you don?t think it is working you should end it now before she gets any more attached.
Make shore to do it nice and let her know that you still like her but you think you should just be friends. And don?t be afraid to call her "as a friend" after the brake-up. You never know, one day you might want to start the relationship again. It does not help to burn bridges that you might want to crass back over. ;)

[Epitome]

[size=1]Chibi, I am 15, but I mean I dont just wanna give up on her. Only because we do keep in touch, and when Im with her I just feel like Im a different person. But I do understand how you think that I should give up. Well thank you all for your advice, and if I need more, Ill let you all know[/size]

[Guest alphonse]

[quote name='Serraph-Angel][size=1']Chibi, I am 15, but I mean I dont just wanna give up on her. Only because we do keep in touch, and when Im with her I just feel like Im a different person. But I do understand how you think that I should give up. Well thank you all for your advice, and if I need more, Ill let you all know[/size][/quote]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]well...i been through one already..nd he nd i broke up because of ur reason too..it was hard but hey...i got over it fast..now we're just friends..but the only thing id that im from usa, mn, stp,,nd he is from london..thats is so far...but yeh we lasted for 1 month..it was good at first..but if u think u guys are getting apart then do it...theres alwase lots of other gurl out there for u........i hope.u got the same emotion as i do when i chat with him...thats weird..ohh heck well.... i agree with ChibiHorsewoman, but even still.....it sad when u just break up.... curse that fool for not believing![/FONT]

[Dan L]

[quote name='Serraph-Angel][size=1']when Im with her I just feel like Im a different person.[/size][/quote]

You're naive if you think that it'll always be that way.

Don't get me wrong- I'm not being cynical about anything here, just stating the fact that in the end you will only end up being yourself, not some "different person". If you're somehow better around her -probably just due to the novelty of it- then as soon as the novelty wears off, you're just back to yourself and that particular argument falls to bits.

Not only that, but by that time you've no doubt noticed all the annoying things about her too and she's not the "different person" either.

By all means, keep a relationship going because of love- but that "different person" feeling doesn't last forever, and in most cases it doesn't last all that long.

[Heaven's Cloud]

[quote name='Serraph-Angel][size=1']Chibi, I am 15, but I mean I dont just wanna give up on her. Only because we do keep in touch, and when Im with her I just feel like Im a different person. But I do understand how you think that I should give up. Well thank you all for your advice, and if I need more, Ill let you all know[/size][/quote]

[color=indigo]You are fifteen, do whatever you feel like doing. I really doubt that it will effect you either way. More than likely the relationship won't amount to much anyhow. My advice would be, keep dating the girl until you find another girl you would like to go out with more. Then break up with her. Simple enough.[/color]

[Harry]

Say you don't think it will work out and it would be better for both of you to see other people. Then use her as a back up if you're ever lonely and some other girlfriend broke up with you.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Ke ke ke. You can always say: What happens in Maryland stays in Maryland. Just remember, she can say the same for Virginia.

You said you're fifteen, well, you're still young then. (I'm 22 so I can say that) And have pleanty of time to decide on what you want to do in the long run.

Yes, she makes you feel special and everything, but you guys aren't that old yet and there's plenty of time to look for someoen else if you don't feel this is working out. (gods, I sound old, don't I?) If you were around my age I'd say move and see if it will really work, but obviously you can't do that.

Give yourself a bit of time to sort everything out, but if you really don't think it's working then break it off gently. It will be the best thing for both of you.

As for being three hours away or only seeing eachother about 2 or 3 weekends a month, I don't think that's bad. When my husband was in Korea I didn't see him for a year. Now that he's in Iraq I won't see him until September (so he can see the baby) and only for two weeks. I won't see him again until March. Which also means he won't see his kid again until March and by that time he/she will be 9 months old. I wish I could see him 2 or three weekends a month. Hell, two or three days a month would be great.[/color]

[Panda]

In my personal experience I know long distance relationships can work if both people are dedicated in making it work. I met my now husband when I was 16 years old. We were in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 almost 3 years before he moved back to this state. During which we didn't see each other at all for those years. I was in Washington state and he was in Florida. It was a lot of work and cost a bunch of money. This was before nationwide cell phone plans and email access. We did all of our correspondence through phone calls and letters. Yes, letters.

We were determined to make it work and we did. Not ever relationship is made to stand up to this kind of trial. My opinion is that if it is meant to be, it will be. If not, at least you can say you gave it your best. Don't just give up because it is the easy way out. If you both really do care about each other then it may work out. Nothing in life is easy. At least you can say you tried. I know through the years John and I were apart were very difficult, but it was all worth it to be where we are today.

Best of luck to you in whatever path you decide to take. :)

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1][color=darkred] Is the time you spend with her worth the time that you're apart? Do you want to stay with her, or do you think you should?

You have to look after yourself, first and foremost. Don't be an insufferable prig, don't be rude. But in a relationship you need to know that you want to, and can make it work. I have been in...well, practically the same situtation that you now find yourself in. I had to break it off. We were both thinking the same thing though...so, it was clean. However, at a young age, the chance of you marrying her is pretty low. So, you have to think, is it in anyones best interests to continue the relationship?[/size][/color]

[Anne]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=Pink]Right now i'm in a long distance relationship and at times it is[very hard to be apart. You are lucky if you get to see her every 2-3 weekends, i only get to see my Steven 1 a year because i'm in college and he lives in Las Vagas. The next time i get to see him is for 2 hours at the airport when i'm passing through to see my sick aunt up in Settle. But i agree with Panda if you reallwant it to work than you both have to be deciated. But still you are only 15 you have a lifetime ahead of you. If it doesn't work out there are plenty of other people out there. I just gave this same advise to a friend of mine and it was really stressing him out about this girl and his long distance relationship. I told him look inside himself, do what you think is right for you and to make sure its a healty chose for you. In the end only you and your feelings can decide what is best for you and her.

~MEW~
<((_~)>[/COLOR][/FONT]

[SoapyShoes]

Well, I have never had an LDR before, but from what I can tell you about relationships is that you need to ask yourself these questions:

1. Does she enjoy doing things that you like to do?
2. Does she laugh at the same things that you do?
3. Do you get all tingly after you go home from her house and just start smiling for no reason?
4. Does she have little quirks about her that you just don't care about? (i.e. religion, family, economic situation, she won't let you do it, etc.)

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, and my feelings have not faded one bit since the day I met her. She's a Baptist, and because of that she's definately not having sex with me, even though I'm a horny bastard. But I don't give a fuh. I get that tingly feeling all the time though, and I think that's what love is. If I am wrong, well, I don't wanna be right!

[pipopu]

Hey kid, just dump her. Long distance relationship won't work too well.A lot of stuff that u wish it'll happen that way usually ends up the other way. U're only 15 and still young. Go out there and find others that you like. If u really wanna try it out, dun put too much hope then. If you hoping too much you'll end up hurting too much. So, the answer is up to you.

[Darius_Stomu]

I'm not sure if getting dating advice online is exactly my cup of tea but...might as well. I've just about tried everything else.

There are +10 girls in my school that call me cute, handsome and sexy. I've dated a good 2 of them. Yet my approaches on the other 8 all failed. I know they know me well enough to be together. They are, indeed, beautiful. Maybe I'm just out ranked, maybe I'm just out classed. No clue. All I know is that they like me and would like me more if my damn glasses didn't cover 75% of my face. So, therefore, I'm drawing the theory that I'm looking more geeky than goth...