Bullies and psycological problems-some kind of link?

[RPGchick]

I read a book called "Odd Girl Out" by Rachel Simmons, and it explains how girls bully each other psycologically, but I'm not here to attack the book. I'm here to ask, is it not just girls who pick on girls? Boys pick on girls too, and vice versa. But, I also heard that people who get bullied often end up with psycological problems. I can't complain, some people have it worse, but at my school, just like today, people try to make each other mad, then pick on them some more until they decide to hurt them, then the bully tells on them and the victim gets in trouble. Like today, we were loading stuff into a trailer for the 8th grade graduation. A kid, named MF (that's his initials) started making fun of me because I take Soo Bahk Do, and he was just asking me to to hit him. then, for the remainder of the hour (which was just over 15 minutes) he was throwing things at me like folders, insults, he threw a rock at me once, and i don't know how to deal with it. Ever since I came here in the third grade, I've been picked on by almost everybody and I'm almost on the end of my rocker. but, I do belive that bullies can cause psycological insecurity. so, here's two jobs: Please, can i have some advice and your input on the bullies=psycological problems?

[Shwa]

Well there might me an explanation to your bullies agressivness and such, he might like to take out his anger out on the person he thinks is the type that won't respond to their meaness. Yes bullies can 'cause problems in the mind for the indevidual who is getting picked on, in fact thats how that Comumbine thing probably started since those kids were getting picked on. But they chose the wrong way to deal with their problem, going to principal or something like that is nothing to be ashamed about. This is really a hard topic to talk about, you think you know the answer to this but then the words just slip away from you -_-'

[Guest Spike88]

Without getting technical here is the downlow. Let's face it most people who are into video games anime and computers are not the most popular kids in school so I'm sure everybody on here could share on this subject. Me I'm not popular but I'm not unpopular either I'm one of those people right in the middle yet there is always someone out there who thinks they are better than you and will give you a hard time. Anyways most people get picked on and in some way or another pick on someone else. Psycological problems of course everyone gets down but what makes you better and know that this won't bother you is getting up taking the time to let them know that whatever they do to you will never ever bother you as much as they want it to. If you do that to your bully they won't get as much satisfaction out of it. Will they do it again yea probably becasue it takes an insecure person to pick on others. The bottom line is my advice is take the crap from your bully let them know it doesn't bother you and the not so nice side of me is saying this very sincerly get back at them every single time you can

[Falkon]

[quote name='RPGchick']I read a book called "Odd Girl Out" by Rachel Simmons, and it explains how girls bully each other psycologically, but I'm not here to attack the book. I'm here to ask, is it not just girls who pick on girls? Boys pick on girls too, and vice versa. But, I also heard that people who get bullied often end up with psycological problems. I can't complain, some people have it worse, but at my school, just like today, people try to make each other mad, then pick on them some more until they decide to hurt them, then the bully tells on them and the victim gets in trouble. Like today, we were loading stuff into a trailer for the 8th grade graduation. A kid, named MF (that's his initials) started making fun of me because I take Soo Bahk Do, and he was just asking me to to hit him. then, for the remainder of the hour (which was just over 15 minutes) he was throwing things at me like folders, insults, he threw a rock at me once, and i don't know how to deal with it. Ever since I came here in the third grade, I've been picked on by almost everybody and I'm almost on the end of my rocker. but, I do belive that bullies can cause psycological insecurity. so, here's two jobs: Please, can i have some advice and your input on the bullies=psycological problems?[/quote]
hey, believe me, i have been through this road since kindergarten (lmfao) and im finishing my 9th grade school year. what i usually do to avoid these situations is:
1)dont talk to anyone who thinks they are bigger than you, it just gives them an excuse to f**k with you.
2)this is just a suggestion, but someday walk up to him and ask him why hes messin with ya. just say hey, MF (whatever his name...im guessing you probably use the letters as Mother...well nevermind.) "why do you need to pick on me? what have I done to you thats pissed you off? just leave me alone, since, alas, i have paid no attention, nor got in the way of, you."

in fact, a similar event happened just the other week to me...uh, well a MAJOR thing...i have had things since then...but heres how it went.

i was sitting on the bus, listening to my CD player (Sasha & Digweed Northern Exposure) and this kid, whom with which i have had a rivalry with since like 2nd grade, thought it would be really funny to prod me in the back of the head with a tape measure. but whats really funny is i got him suspended for it. I talked to my counselor the next day after he started pushing me around in the halls and settled it. they even took the case to the city's school board. eheh :devil: anyway in the long run i ended up slicing my hand from the tape measure (which actually i ddint notice until i got home, about 15 minutes later) and now if he or any of his friends even talk to me he gets suspended for 5 days. yeah high school suspension is nothing to have fun with.

so, if he continues to bother you, take it up with your counselor or principal...or both :devil: explain what he has been doing, and tell them to talk to him. and despite people hating ""tattle tales"" this isnt tattling. of course you could take the other way out and beat the living s**t out of him, toilet paper his house, egg his house, uh...hmm i seemed to hagve gotten off track....yeah just...dry ice bombs are a no-no...theyre fun eyah but they get you into trouble...:P

[Anne]

[COLOR=Pink][SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Hmmm.. Bully prblems sounds familiar. I was picked on up till the nineth grade. Iwas shoved in lockers, had stuff thrown at me, and ect. Finally I took care of it. I had already gone to the guidence counsler, principle, school board and police (yeah it actually got that bad.). Well since no of them help i took matters in to my own hands. The next time the kid had started razzing on me a beat the ***** out of him. Actually i really don't remeber much, my friends told me most of the details. But after that i wasn't picked on anymore. But since i was in middle school and High School things have changed.

I see people say go to the guidence counsler or principle. Well sometimes they don't help. My little sister is being Sexual harassed and the school hasn't done a thing to stop it. We even went to the school board and still nothing has been done. So we have gotten a atterny. So you always can't count on them to help. But their is one thing that i always tell her, "Keep your nose up high and pertend you are looking down on them. You are better than the bully because you don't have to pick on anyone to make you feel better about yourself. Also be yourself, that is onething no bully can take away. That is you and who you are, only you can take that away."

[FONT=Arial][QUOTE][I][COLOR=Black]Origanlly posted by[/I] [B]Spike88[/B][/COLOR][/FONT]
Let's face it most people who are into video games anime and computers are not the most popular kids in school so I'm sure everybody on here could share on this subject.[/QUOTE]

Thats not necassrly true. I believe everyone is picked on at one piont and their life. Sure gamers, anime lover, and computer geeks (please take no offence in the names because i am all the above and more.) get picked on the most but that doesn't mean they can't be popular. For some reason me and a friend of mine were one of the most popular girls in the school. (She is just like me by the way.) We are not really sure how it happened but peole we didn't know knew us. We always said Hi to be polite. Besides being popular is overrated. It doesn't really matter as long is you are you.

About the psycological problems sure you can develope some, if you let the insults get to you. I'm reminded of a saying i once heard, "Sticks and stone can break my bones, but names can never hurt you." . Well i guess if you bully is throwing things at you you can get hurt but i'm sure you understand what i mean by this. The best thing that i can recommend don't go to a Pscologist they'll mess you up even more. Trust me i am living proof. Defintly don't go to the if they ask you, what was you childhood like because than they don't know what the hell their doing.

Well I will leave you with one last word of wisdom: "Don't listen to others, listen to the person that is you."

~MEW~
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[wrist cutter]

Bullies exist primarily in elementary school, and a bit in middle school. And usually they don't do anything severe enough to cause psychological damage. They may be bullies, but they're not even in the double digits yet. It's not like they're going to do anything other than call you names. Any "damage" they inflict at such an age will be soon forgotten.

In my honest opinion, any bullying that occurs after middle school is pretty much because the person being picked on is a dork. If you're a victim of bullying, it's because you're asking for it in some way. Even if you enjoy computers (by which I mean programming/web design type stuff, not AIM), you won't become an instant bully target. It only occurs because you appear really nerdy and/or have really funny reactions to being picked on.

[BlueYoshi]

[COLOR=Teal]I wouldn't say it relates to bullying completely, it affects different people in different ways. Take me for example, my parents are in the process of getting a divorce and while I do sympathise with that, I don't resort to other means to try and hide that fact. It entirely depends on the person.

The best step in coping with all this is to simply ignore it. Obviously, it's a lengthy process and can be mean along the way, but you have to remember, they [I]want[/I] you to fight back--it gives them the satisfaction.

Telling wouldn't be very appropriate either I think, you may get that certain individual or group straightened out, but you may attract other crowds your way as a result of it. Teachers are only people after all, so there's always the possibility that they'll eventually get fed up of complaints and just induce milder punishments out of boredom and laziness.

In the end, it's everyone's ball game, we all share dilemmas but in our own ways. Just keep your head up high and stick to it.[/COLOR]

[PWNED]

I have been bullied throughout my high school years which have not finished yet but I can give you some tips though. Do not let them get what they want otherwise they will keep on bothering you, Do not attempt to strike him/her otherwise they will retaliate which is not very fun and my third rule is, try to stand them down because Bullies, by nature, are cowards.

[Brasil]

[quote name='wrist cutter']Bullies exist primarily in elementary school, and a bit in middle school. And usually they don't do anything severe enough to cause psychological damage. They may be bullies, but they're not even in the double digits yet. It's not like they're going to do anything other than call you names. Any "damage" they inflict at such an age will be soon forgotten.[/quote]
First of all, wrist cutter, never minimize a bully's effect, all right? At any age, elementary, middle, high school, whatever, a bully can be extremely harmful to a child in the formative stages. The elementary age falls under the Erikson Life-Span stage of "Industry versus Inferiority." I'll quote what that means.

[quote]It corresponds approximately with the elementary school years, from six years of age until puberty or early adolescence. Children's initiative brings them into contact with a wealth of new experiences. As they move into the elementary school years, they direct their energy toward mastering knowledge and intellectual skills. At no time are children more enthusastic about learning than at the end of early childhood, when their imagination is expansive. [b]The danger in the elementary school years is developing a sense of inferiority, unproductiveness, and incompetence.[/b][/quote]
I've bolded the most important phrase here. Now, given this information, what do you think a bully will do to a child's psychological make-up, especially in the elementary years? I could go on and talk about middle school and high school if you'd like, "Identity versus Identity Confusion."

[quote]In my honest opinion, any bullying that occurs after middle school is pretty much because the person being picked on is a dork. If you're a victim of bullying, it's because you're asking for it in some way. Even if you enjoy computers (by which I mean programming/web design type stuff, not AIM), you won't become an instant bully target. It only occurs because you appear really nerdy and/or have really funny reactions to being picked on.[/QUOTE]
"A dork"? Surely, WC, you're joking. Do you have any idea what goes on in high school? I mean, seriously. Do you [i]honestly[/i] believe that the victim is somehow at fault for getting picked on? That...an effeminate boy playing with the noncompetitive girls in gym class somehow [i]deserves[/i] to be called a ******? WC, surely you're not [i]that[/i] ignorant?

[spoiler]Ah...responding to sarcasm is fun, lol.:p[/spoiler]

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]If you are the target of bullying, it is generally because you do not have a group to defend you (not necessarily as in beat-the-crap-out-of defend either...).

My school experience has been different from most people's--since I was eight years old, I have never been picked on or beaten up in any way. Especially in middle school. Why? Because I'm in a special ed. class that's been together since fourth grade--even if we're not uber-close friends, that's a pretty substantial group, no? (My friends and I would probably be the stereotypical bullying target, too. Heh.)

However, before switching schools, I was constantly picked on (mostly verbally, but physically, too) by other students. I had a grand total of three friends over the span of as many years, and was made fun of because of it. (It's unbelievable how much you're made fun of for being friends with a boy in third grade. Sheesh.)
However, switching schools landed me with people I could actually talk to--so, it's all good.

Funny, I had forgotten until recently how bad it was for those three years. So much for psychological effects there...
So, I don't consider myself a bullying target.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Guest Spike88]

Origanlly posted by Spike88
Let's face it most people who are into video games anime and computers are not the most popular kids in school so I'm sure everybody on here could share on this subject.

[QUOTE=Kittychanann][COLOR=Pink][SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]
[FONT=Arial]

Thats not necassrly true. I believe everyone is picked on at one piont and their life. Sure gamers, anime lover, and computer geeks (please take no offence in the names because i am all the above and more.) get picked on the most but that doesn't mean they can't be popular. For some reason me and a friend of mine were one of the most popular girls in the school. (She is just like me by the way.) We are not really sure how it happened but peole we didn't know knew us. We always said Hi to be polite. Besides being popular is overrated. It doesn't really matter as long is you are you.


~MEW~
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Notice in what I said most people I did leave room for a small margin of error but anyways besides that yea you said some pretty good stuff just thought I'd let you know

[wrist cutter]

[QUOTE=Anime_fangurl*247]
"A dork"? Surely, WC, you're joking. Do you have any idea what goes on in high school? I mean, seriously. Do you [i]honestly[/i] believe that the victim is somehow at fault for getting picked on?[/QUOTE]

I'm in high school now, I'm very well aware of what goes on.

Yes, I think most times the "victim" is doing something that causes him/her to be picked on. By high school most people don't really care to just randomly pick on someone, it has to be someone who's going to do something stupid as a comeback. Here's a good example of what I mean.

There's this kid, let's call him Dan, who's medium size. Not very big, I'll say that. He has dorky looking hair that he gels everyday for some reason. Anyway, he was walking down the hall, and some guy behind him just randomly yells, "Hey Dan, you're gay!". Boy what an insult.

So anyway, Dan just flies off the handle. He turns around and goes "Just say that again!", while trying to look very intimidating. He gives the "bully" an "intense" look and just stands right in front of him, while everyone around him is walking in the hall because it's passing time and whatnot.

This is what I'm talking about. I can see why people pick on him. I wouldn't myself of course, but he can't handle these situations. It's funny to see his lame reactions, because it's not like he was going to get in a fist fight. Even if he did, he's too scrawny to do anything.

There you go. It's not like I think the bully is doing the right thing, but I have to admit it's pretty funny to see Dan react like this.

[Anne]

[COLOR=Pink][SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]I really can not believe how narrow mindd you are WC. You blame the victims that are being picked, saying its their fault. (Shakes Head) So what if "Dan" want to defend himself. Maybe some people want ot stand up for them self. JUst because it isn't the greatest comeback in the world. Also you shouldn't doubt people when they are scrawny and thin. They stand a fair chance just as anybody does. I will use myself as an example.

[INDENT]I had bully problems and i n 7th grade i weighed 5feet and weighed 80 pounds. I was being picked on about my looks. Tell you the truth i didn't give a rats ***. The time it did started to bug me is when they started touching me. My bully was 5'9 and weigh at least double my weight. It was gym and he started throwing balls at me. Well i think i was in a bad mood that day (I really don't remeber much of that day) I picked him up and threw him into the bleachers and started to pound on him. My friends day that it took two securiety gaurds to get me off of him. [/INDENT]

So it doesn't really matter what you are,anybody can defend themselves.

~MEW~
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[wrist cutter]

[quote name='Kittychanann']So what if "Dan" want to defend himself. Maybe some people want ot stand up for them self.[/quote]

Why did he need to defend himself? Someone called him gay. Oh no.

If he could just brush it off and play along, he probably wouldn't be picked on so much. It's not like the bullies even mean what they're saying, it's just fun to get a rise out of him. And I think that's what most high school bullies are after, and some of you people just keep falling into their trap.

The scrawny comment was just to make you realize how silly he looked as he tried to intimidate these people who were just standing there laughing. I'm not exactly a football player myself.

[Charles]

I believe that schools should provide peer support groups to cope with habitually cruel people--and they should be mediated by school administrators. Such gatherings would be beneficial for two reasons.

A group of people who have endured common problems could share their experiences with one another and describe how they've coped with them. You know, they could offer effective techniques for dealing with jerks. It would be a nice way to make friends and draw strength from one another. They'd belong a social group they could relate to. This would be the motivational tool many of these children would need to prove that they're not alone.

Also, this program shouldn't be exclusive to victims of hazing either. It's one thing to complain to a teacher and have them deliver a mild punishment to an overbearing person, such as a scolding, but it's another entirely to make them share in the experience of those they're affecting. Perhaps if they attended such meetings they would be introduced to the lasting effects they have on those they tease. After all, I highly doubt most predators know their victims as real people. They don't even think about those they're hurting at all. Sometimes, as wrist cutter said, their only purpose is to get a rise out of people (who, yes, [i]can[/i] bring it upon themselves).

So, this would be a nice tool to give people a chance to directly confront their harrassers on equal grounds in a controlled situation.

I suggest those of you suffering from bully problems offer this idea to someone of authority within your school because it sure sounds to me like they're ineffecient in their current state of dealing with these problems.

In the past, confronting a bully physically may have resolved the conflict, but nowadays, it seems as if fights are rarely one-on-one affairs. Try not to go that route if at all possible.

[Circ]

This topic makes me [I]extremely[/I] uncomfortable considering I've been bullied for many years when I was in primary and secondary school.

If there's a message bullies attempt to carry it is "Don't be different." I happen to suffer from Asperger syndrom and be an extremely "dorky" type lacking social skills. Well, at least I certainly was as a child. This made me a class-wide target. I ended up litteraly dividing the world in two: The bullies and the indifferent. eh. This doesn't make much sense, does it? Anyway, I was bullied and anybody who says bullied ones do things, eitehr voluntarily or not, is probably not totally wrong. Bullied are by definition [I]different[/I], isolated (another characteristic bullies look for).

My suggestions? Don't try to blend in. As much as you want, stay different. Stay calm. Do not ignore. Just stay calm. As long as you don't get the physical stuff you'll be sure to survive them :smirk: I like the blank looks: look at them as if they weren't there. It's extremely unnerving. Be patient. A time comes, it always do, when you get separated definitely from your bullies.

Of course, I'm probably an unusual case, so take what you will. That's all I wanted to say.

[BlueYoshi]

[COLOR=Teal]Many bullies see their targets from a stereotypical point of view, they won't really consider anything else, that's why they tend to go for those who are smaller and more feeble than themselves as it seems to get stuck in their head that they won't retaliate. To them it's an opportunity to show off how robust and 'manly' they are, yeah right. Ultimately, to avoid being bullied, just be yourself, nothing far from it. You can't go wrong there.

Traditionally, the victims overcome their bullies as their rage and fury grows. Heh, not true, unless you?re living in a fantasy world that is. A time comes when the line must be drawn, and [i]physically[/i] harming one another represents that line. Obviously, a bullies mind differs from another?s, some may react to your actions more severely than others, and how ever far they may push it, retaliating in their way is [i]not[/i] the answer.

Predominantly, counselling is the best path to take whoever it may be with. Bottling up your worries isn't going to help solve anything at all.[/COLOR]

[Guest Crimson Spider]

O.K. I'll give you the information that I collected from being tormented by bullies from K-9th, and how I handeled each one. Keep in mind that I've only had problems with guys. All the girls who tried to pull something got shamed, embarrased, and insulted by my uncanny wit in front of the whole school with remarks that only a guy could make.

[b]Why do bullies do it?[/b]
Answer: Because they feel like it. The most common [u][size=3]LIE[/u][/size] is that bulles expect a response. That isn't true. You see, they acknowledge that you don't like that, and even if you don't mind, they think you don't like it. That's all that they want. Whether you go into a flurry, or sit quietly, they'll still do it. Sometimes they just like to laugh with their friends. Othertimes they like a punching bag. But the point is, that they're gonna do it, and there is little that'll change their mind. They aren't Jealous of you in any way, shape, or form, simply because they don't have a reason to. Sometimes it isn't even that they don't like you. Sometimes it's because some way you offended them. Or they think your ugly. Or your friends with such-and-such. It almost seems as if they are making up an excuse to exact their demonic torture upon your unfortunate soul.

[b]Why don't they stop?[/b]
Bullying to them is like sex: you never get tired of it. Unless you are a bully, you won't understand the joy you get from it. Not everyone can enjoy it, though. And guess what? They don't give a crap about how you feel. Not in the least bit. Just like a drug addict doesn't care about the well being of himself or his family.

[b]Should I tell the teacher/prinicple?[/b]
I don't see a reason why. I have yet to meet someone personally who has done this, and it worked. Because each year of my life, it didn't. There are a few reasons for this. No. 1: bullying is looked upon by adults as something of the littlest importance, or seen as part of "growing up". The most common response I got was "don't go near him", when you share the same table and he stalks you around. Otherwise the pocket-veto the issue while saying stuff such as "Well, we'll get to it" when they actually don't. No. 2 The other small displinary actions that they take don't have a positive effect, either. You get labeled as a snitch (by others than just the bully and his friends), and you only succeed in doing one thing: agitating them. Then they have a reason to not like you. Telling the teacher only creates a "don't pick on him while they're looking" mindset, and over the span of about a month, they perfect it to a Tee.

[b]Should I tell my parents?[/b]
Pretty much same thing as the teacher issue. They, for some extremely odd reason, just don't see it as a problem. You'll get labeled as a coward for doing it, again by much of the populace.

[b]Should I fight back?[/b]
Nope. Though it is more sensible than the two actions above, there is a reason why they area bully. You see, they are quite strong. This whole "friends" thing doesn't really need to concern you. Every single one I've met would gladly fight you alone. And there is a VERY good chance they'll beat you to a pulp. And if you were to start winning, then their friends would join in... only sometimes, though. Most of the time they just watch. However, if somehow some way you DO manage to win, that's when they might stop. Depending on how ghetto your bully is is how they'll respond.

[/b]Well, what should I do?[/b]
Something I have learned trial-and-error over and over again is that a radical response works best. Everything just leaves a "don't do it while they're around", or further aggrivates them. They need to learn not to do that, or be prevented from doing that. A school-relocation would work pretty well for prevention, but from my experiences, a radical response always worked.

K: I was a strong little tyke back then. I beat both the guys to the ground.
1st: Kindergardeners don't learn their lesson I guess. While we were engaging in what was called a chicken fight, or where we would hang from scolding hot monkey-bars and try to kick eachother off, I kicked him off once, and when he tried to kick me in the head while he was looking away, I grabbed him, and pulled as hard as I could on his legs sideways, causing him to fall 10 feet face first into the sand below. He quit after that. The other guy, who was named Cody, was only mildly annoying.
2nd: I discovered my un-earthly rage, and when unleashed, I thrashed one guy, and I was working on the other two when I got in trouble. I took all the blame, but turned the tides and continued to threaten the two guys while their third guy wasn't at school because he couldn't walk for a few days. Don't suggest using it though.
3rd: Some guy who wasn't even in my class. For the next 2 years, I consistantly annoyed the ever-loving crap out of him, never letting him be. After awhile he was so annoyed he would literally avoid me. Little did I know that a friend I currently had would turn against me in the later years.
4th: My most intense year in elementry. I had 5, count them, 5 seperate guys who felt like picking on me. For the first two, I had spread a rumor that they were homosexual for awhile (I love evesdropping), for the third I challanged him to a fight after I insulted him, but for some reason only wanted to fight me in some extremely reomote locale. No matter how much I ticked him off, he wouldn't do it. The fourth I eventually got to befriend me once he found out exactly how nice I could be. The fifth was someone who wasn't in my class who took a dis-liking to me when I embarrassed his sister. This was also the point in time I learned about the stirnum blow. The fifth guy quit after he pushed someone off a playground, and I had 3 eye-witnesses to it, and he stupidly broke his own leg.
5th. This year, I got pared with a guy who was literally the tallest guy in school. Everything above didn't work, so near the end of the year, I unleashed my rage, grabbed the teacher chair, and proceded to try to thrash him with it. After a tug-o-war with the rest of the class, the teacher finally came back.
6th: I endured this one. It was an 8th grader who had a bunch of friends who were twice my height, and taller bigger than he guy in 5th. He eventually quit for some reason. Another guy who was opposite locker than me also didn't like me. He eventually stopped when I shoved his head into a locker and shoved him across the room. And that guy in third had finally announced that he had turned on me. And for some reason, I remained the same height of 4:11 all of 6th and seventh while everyone grew taller.
7th. This year it was the ENTIRE PE CLASS (including the teacher) who didn't like me. I just sat through that one. Suprisingly, their tormentation was more bearable than all the others. And the guy who had turned on me also kept messing with me, but eventually stopped when his friends found out how cool I was, and made him look like an idiot. This was also the year I started to get my own little possie.
8th. I had a growth spurt. The 5'00" kid was n ow 5'8", and now a head taller than everyone else. Each time someone would try to mess with me, I would make jokes like "huh? who said that?" while looking clear over their head. Once my group of 5 guys or so that I traveled with formed up, people quit messing with me, because I was friends with a 6" 190 lbs guy.
9th: Nothing quite like tech class. Filled with a bunch of biker-punks. Thing was, the teacher thought it was funny when the picked on me, too, and would only say something when i did something. So I was helpless then.

Well, I'm about to end 10th and one of the guys from 9th started messing around near the end of the year, and chances are I won't see him again. If I do, though, I'll crack him over the head with the solid-metal frame of my backpack. (love that thing.)

Simply put: seriously hurt them, or scare them. I'm talking the hurl-the-biggest-rock-you-could-find-at-their-face-when-they-don't-expect-it, or the hit them with a metal poll, or grow your nails long and slash their face & neck with them, get someone else to pummel them, or pull a knife on them ordeal. I'm dead serious: that's the only sure-fire way that they learn.

[Milo]

My, Crimson Spider! Such a violent one! *wink*

I noticed that a lot of folk are giving Wrist Cutter crap for his commentary; well, he's not altogether WRONG, either.

Of course it's not your fault if you get picked on. In an ideal world, nobody SHOULD get picked on just because they are different. Unfortunately, this is certainly not--by any means--an ideal world.

Now, to agree with WC's point, I have a story. Last year, (I am still in high school, too; I was a junior at the time) a classmate I knew was being picked on by a boy in our sociology class. Thing is, the boy started with ME, but I managed to deflect his irritating actions. (His irritating actions included leaning back onto my desk, taking my papers, and generally pestering me.) I used the sacred, magic weapon: humor!

This silly bully also "renamed" both myself and my acquaintance. Now, compare and contrast, here is how my friend and I took it... The bully changed my name (he was VERY juvenile) to Rebecca. He named my friend Tony.

My classmate gave the bully a stern, almost matronly look. It made me embarrassed for him. He really let it get to him, and he looked like a fool. I was--meanwhile--laughing at the bully's moronic creativity. So I renamed the BULLY Sam. "Yep...you know, you really strike me as a Sam."

Now the bully greets me whenever he sees me, is very nice and humorous to me. Meanwhile, my classmate was tortured that whole semester by him, due to his prudish comments, and effeminate delivery.

This poor boy could really have saved himself a lot of trouble, if he had just let it roll off his back instead of getting his undies in a bundle, right Wrist Cutter? ;)

Milo :whoops:

[Guest Crimson Spider]

Seems like that bully was really laxidazy. Most of the time they use humor as an excuse to keep doing it.

I don't think people know this, but those solutions didn't come immediatly. After months of torment they came when I eventually cracked.

I also neglected to mention what I like to call an "occasional Bully". These are guys you don't even know who chose to pick on you for a week and then stop. I had a lot of these guys mess with me. Most the time I just let it slide, because they are easily recognizable when you've dealed with them long enough.

And the reason why I'm so violent when it comes to bullies: Their demonic torture to me left me scarred, giving me severe social anxiety, general depression and irritability, bouts of extreme depression and anger, self-torturing personality, cowardly nature (unless provoked to the the breaking point, then extremely violent), a compromised immune systems and physical qualities, and insomia like no tonight (notice how I"m always on late?), an addiction of sorts to eliminate myself from the cruel reality I know, and emotional trauma leaving me take things such as small insults and actions seriously.

So basically, yeah, bullying screwed with my head, making the extremely wierd person you know today. When you get to this point, nothing sounds more logical than a cro-bar to their right shoulder or head.

[black bird]

Hey Crimson Spider I recognize myself in you . I had my fair share of bullies to and I'm kinda messed up now to . More on the torture myself thing , not knowing how to socialize , avoiding people that look like a threat , taking little things very seriously and have been depressed . I had my fair share of bullies to but not at all that many as you , thank god . I had the different kind of bullies . I was in a class of 38 kids for 8 hole years in my life .....hell . And I?ve been hassled in the first two years of high school as well but I?m not talking about that . Anyway most of the 38 kids in my primary school didn't seem to like me . There was this one macho guy that would put me down and other stuff .....he basically took my dignity and pride but enough of him . I was to much of a coward to kick his *** . But I had so much rage locked up inside of me I could've easily take him out when I look back . But part of his strategy was making you feel small and worthless so you could never ever build up the courage to fight him . It made himself feel like a god or something . That's the thing with that sort of guys they won't stop until you seriously stand up for yourself ( and I'm now talking for the one that started this tread ) . Unless you don't stand up for yourself and don't make him realize that he isn't a ******* God he won't respect you . For him it's all about taking pleasure of someone else?s pain making you feel worthless and making him feel like God himself . A different kind of bulling made me really messed up for a while and I couldn't have done anything against it . The rest of the class systematically locked me out , pretending had a contagious disease or was a ghost . The girls always found a way of insulting me behind my back but loud enough I could hear . I was never invited to the goodbye/graduation party from my primary school ( I'm foreign I have another school system ) . The popular kids where only allowed to have the party when they invited everyone ( they where forced by there parents , oh poor them :naughty: ) I wasn't wanted and they where happy if I wouldn't had come but I went anyway just to annoy them :laugh: . But I think most of Crimson Spiders advice is right and true .( but hitting someone with steel objects is a bit radical in my opinion ) I just have one thing to say don't start to believe the insults or doubt yourself for one second cuz there's probably nothing wrong with you . Bullies only pick on you for the pleasure of there own . They probably have picked you because your seem weak in there eyes and they think they can keep walking al over you . So stand up for your self . Kick the leaders *** and use the surprise punch . If he isn't ready for it you will have the advantage . bye bye and hang in there :wave: