Problems::warning !!(due to the maturity of this thread)

[Emme888]

Hello everyone

I haven't been on OB in a long time, but im back. And my problems have gotten prety bad, and there's no one really that I connect wit in my "real" life to talk to about them. Cause they're pretty bad, and most people just dont understand... I dunno if i should even be posting them here.. sooo i'm going to ask first.

does anyone mind if i post really personal information about myself and my problems. *note on some of my problems i do not always need help on recovery, and do not always want it.. i just need someone there along to be a good friend and support me and try to encourage me to help myself.

the context of my problems vary: from drugs, bulimia, ana, and more... I just dont know if this is the right audience to be talking about this with. Cause all i need right now is someone who'll listen to me, and not quickly judge me.

so if it's alright with everyone here...can i start posting my problems? if so i'll post back in a day or so.. thanks everyone.. if not that's fine..

[50 cent]

[COLOR=Blue][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]I'll help you with your problem as long as we get the okay from the mods.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Charles]

I just want to drop in and say that I talked it over with Drix and we're inclined to allow this thread to continue for the time being. But, we're going to keep a close eye on how it develops. It's easy for threads like this to lose focus and turn into a certifiable mess. Considering the imminent nature of this discussion, a high maturity level must be maintained throughout or it will be closed. Remember, I'm always glad if OtakuBoards members can help one another in some way but you have to keep in mind the limitations an anime message board may present in dealing with particularly complicated problems.

[Dan L]

Straight off, I'd like to say that [i]ideally[/i] any and all problems of this magnitude should be dealt with with real-life contacts. For the simple reason that there is far greater accountability- it's a lot easier to just disappear off a website, and you can't always guarantee that you'll even see the people you talk with, and rarely do you meet them.

In a real life situation where you discuss it with real life people, they will see you again and hold you accountable (or they should, if they want to help). Despite all the "net communities", interaction over the internet really isn't anywhere near as personal or as helpful as in real life.

Discussing it with someone you know, or simply someone you have to meet, is a [i]lot[/i] harder, and even more risky, in that sometimes it's a stupid thing to talk with a particular person about it. I recognise that, but if you can find someone you can trust, it's the absolute best advice I can give.

That said, I did say that [i]ideally[/i] that's what you should do- and I believe that you'd get far more help that way than any other. But if you really feel that you can't do it, I'll gladly hear you out. Just know that I don't think any of us will ever help you quite as much as someone who can actually relate with you, as opposed to just relate to you.



Second thing, it's a fairly widely recognised fact that for the kind of problems you're talking about- you personally can't get out of it. What that means is not that you are beyond hope, but that you, on your own, can not lift yourself out of whatever you're in. A lot of programs aiming to help people out tell you to recognise that and to rely on a "higher power" of some sort, to help you out. For me, being a Christian, that's God. For someone else, it's something different. But essentially, whether you're a Christian or not, I recommend praying about it, or something similar, regardless of whether or not you know who or what you are praying to.



That's about all the input I' probably need to give. I know you said you "do not always need help on recovery, and do not always want it", but that just had to be said from the start :p. Don't worry about condemnation though- I'm not giving this advice cos I see something wrong with you that I want to cure, I do it because you deserve better than these problems and I want to see you free from them.

God loves you, whether you can find anything to love in yourself or not.

[Emme888]

yeah...thanks everyone. And yes, thank you to the mods for letting is continue.

I really just need someone to talk to this about cause, its hard to bring it up in real life.

First of all everyone should know that I'm ana/bulimic, most of the times im just bulimic, but im getting to be more and more anorexic. I know it's realy shallow of me to think that i need to be skinner, but that's just me. ever since i was little i always had this image of beauty to be "waif".

[b] waif- a term used for the early 90's super models who were extremely skinny.. ex kate moss. most of them are about 80-95lbs[/b]

anyways... i've always had this distorted image of myself, and i dont know why.. yes i use to be chubby...but than i lost alot of weight, and that wasn't good enough. the biggest i ever was...was about 145lbs..but now im like 103 and that's just not good enough for me.

Im a size 14/16 in girls..but somehow im not yet satisfied.. but enough of the prelim stuff... my real problem is that I have to resort to bulimia and anorexia. If i eat too much, i usally just dismiss myself from the table and go throw up, or if ive had a bad day ill binge and purge a couple of times. I dont know.. food is just comforting..but yet when i look around where i live.. (iowa) most people are obess and it really makes me quite sick to my stomach. and really im afraid that im going to turn out that way; if im not it's not a bulumic period of my life.. it most likey aneroxic.. cause either im pretty sure that my parents are onto what im doing, or that im getting too thin too quick and than they'll send me to a "specailist" and i dont want that....

cause i dont think i could be as open with someone who doesn't know me, than with my friends.. but than again i can't tell my friends about what i am cause they'll judge me and i dont want to put them in that position. cause of an inciddent that happened awhile ago.... the one best friend that i did have a couple of years ago.. i told (and my eating disorders [b] ed's[/b] were just starting off) her and she totally condemned me for it and basicaly abandoned me...she told me that it was disgusting and couldn't imagine how i could do that.. what she doesn't know..that sometime you just get so desperate.. u do bad things.

well.. that's over and done wit..so now i dont tell that many people about my problems, expect for my best friends now...and they want to get me help, but somehow i can't bring myself to go see a shrink. My mother knows too about my ed's, but she thinks that was a long time ago, and im healthy now... but she doesn't know to a great extent ive gone to keep it from her, and how badly i actually have them. Now im not hardcore ana/bul yet, im just afraid that im going to get that way. But when your beauty image is so slanted from the truth, its kinda of hard to see yourself as pretty.

i know i should get help and should try to stop..but its just really hard. I can stop.. but if i do, its with the help of taking hydrocodone...(its a pill..affects are similar to morphine) yeah.. you're suppose to take like 1 for a broken foot.. .i can take 8 and ill be good. I've OD'd on them a couple of times, i just wake up from a blackout cold, on the floor..but eh .. i always gain weight during that time.. do i always get off them, and go back to my old tendenices..

sometimes smokin weed helps to relax and just to forget the pain sometimes..but that gets to be old stuff.
and it's really not that good for me.


i bet you all think im really screwed up... but actually i live the ideal life from the outside...

im 16, i soon will have a job, have a 3.857 GPA and recently got elected Vice President of my next years junior class.... i have a great family and friends.. but sometimes life isn't always as sweet as you make it. My life is great.. just I'm not happy with it. I sort of have a boyfriend..he doesn't know about any of this..and he kinda of helps out the situation..by teling me how beautiful i am..but i wonder.. if i were to stop everything, and tell him straightout.. would things change? I really dont know...

all i know is.. i need someone to tell me that my life is somehow not that bad..and that itll be ok. Any advice for any of my problems.. feel free.. but be gentle. thanks everyone i really appreciate it.

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]I'd like you to know that [i][b]it's not your fault[/b][/i], and it's okay that you can't stop your Eds. I mean, the disease themselves are bad, but a lot of people have a hard time overcoming it themselves. It's not a weakness, it's nothing you should feel bad about; and whoever deserts you because of it is an arse. I would suggest going to back to therapy, to help you. If you didn't like your last therapist, find a new one.

And yes, weed is most definately bad for you. Just don't do it. Really. Don't. >_>;

I agree with what Dan L said; talk to someone you know, whether it's your mom, or a friend, or your boyfriend. It's no good to carry all this on your own, and you really need someone whom you can see on a regular basis. I understand how afraid you are of your bf or friends leaving you, if you told them. Really, I do understand what having no friends is like - I'm going through something with it, now; but I'd rather have no friends than ones who don't like who I am.

There's my two cents. If you wanna talk privately, you can always PM me. =)[/color]

[Corey]

[size=1][color=#2f4f4f]I can obviously tell that you know ED's are bad for your body, Emme, but think of it this way...
Your body is like a house. If you're constantly moving furnature in and out of it, not only do the entrances get messed up, but the inside takes a beating to. As for the marijuana, smoke always breeds fire, and the fire of addiction (psycological or physical) can be one hell of a furry creature to get off your back.

My advice to you is to open up to your parents first and foremost. They [i]are[/i] your parents and they will love you and try to help you in every way possible.
If you can't or are too uncomfortable telling your parents at this point, you should open up to a good friend. If they truely are your friends thwy will accept what you are going through and will want to help. The person that priviously abandonded you was obviously not a real friend.

Emme, please try to get help. I'd hate to lose another friend to this.[/size][/color]

[Ani_Freak]

[color=DimGray]Ok, first of all, try to get help from loved ones. As Mistress and Knight said, they are the people who care about you and will do their best to help you. Parents, even though a little difficult at first, are your best buddies. They won't ever tell you to do something that would hurt you. They only want you to be happy and safe. Talk to them.

You can always post here and I'm pretty sure that you'll meet, and maybe even already know some extraordinary people here who are willing to help you out on whatever you need. I include myself in this because, I like helping people out. I like to listen, and that's important. I've been through some difficult things in my life, and I pretty much have a hunch on how you might feel. I'm sure I'm speaking for everyone in saying that we are all here to help.

Try to get help and be honest with those that love you. I'm sure they'll help you out.[/color]

[Harry]

Go to a therapist or counselour or something. You're obviously not strong willed enough (not meant to an insult) to overcome this by yourself. Also try telling your boyfriend about it, if he's worth anything he'll tell you that you look beautiful even if you weight 15 pounds more.

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Being some one who loves to eat, and having friends who take great joy in eating, as well as cooking, I don't really know what to tell you in this situation.

If you're concious of the fact that you mental image of "pretty" has been extremely skewed, I think you're probably halfway there, already. Admitting that you know you have problems is a good sign, as well.
You mentioned being uncomfortable with being 145 pounds, I think it was? That's the average weight for a woman or teenaged girl who doesn't diet.

I don't mean to sound hostile, but there is absolutely nothing healthy about being extremely thin (unless it's in your genes, in which case, it's natural). Also, there is [SIZE=4][b]nothing attractive[/B][/SIZE] about being extremely thin, unless it's in your genes.
Your bones, face shape, hair, skin, everything, look best together when you allow your body to grow naturally. This doesn't mean you should just sit around eating crapfood all day long, though. (That's pretty gross, too...even I don't do that [i]all[/i] day...=_="")

If you are underfed, your body does not receive enough of the things it needs to survive. Your hair and teeth can fall out, your skin starts to sag, you faint easily, are unable to concentrate on mental tasks.
To put it simply, you need to eat. And you need to eat healthily. I know you've heard this all before, and it's not going to change anything, but it's the truth. If you're looking to make yourself more "beautiful", remember that there is no one who has the right to force a these feelings upon you. Not the media, not people you know, no one.

You sound like an intelligent person, and that comes above all else. When you get down to it, any one who cares more about your looks than [i]you[/i] as a person is not worth your time.
Your friends, family, and your boyfriend (the ones who really mean something to you in the end) wouldn't care if you were a few pounds over-weight, and you shouldn't either.

I don't know if I sound naive or whatever, but you owe your body respect (after all, think of all the things it lets you do: walk, run, surf the internet...), and you owe the people you mean alot to doing whatever you can to keep yourself alive and healthy.

If all else fails, remember this: [b]"Beauty fades, but stupid stays."[/b] In the long run, the size of your highschool jeans doesn't matter, as long as you're healthy, both in body and in mind.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Emme888]

all right guys, I talked to my mom.. i didn't tell her everything. but I'm going this thrusday to see a consouler, and yeah. Hopefully this guy wont' be a total creep or jerk.

also, I need some advice. As for the smoking.. I only use to smoke a joint with my friend nick.. it use to just get me buzzed.. but than i started to smoke more with my friend dan. And both of these guys are my best friends... soo anyways... yeah now I've been doin pipes and stuff..and i dont like being high...but for some reason i still do it. At first it was way scary..but now im use to it.. but still i dont like it.. i must not have a strong will power or sumthing.. any advice there?

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Let me get this straight...you're condoning your two best friends' smoking mary-jane?

It's impossible to develop a physical dependance on marijuana, so it's entirely out of peer pressure. It might sound crazy, but it'd probably be better for you to just tell your friends that you aren't jumping for joy at the thought of being a drug-user. It might shed some light on priorities and health for them, too.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]I'm glad to hear you're getting help. If you don't like your counselor, ask your mom if you can go to another one. If she gets mad or anything, put it this way: why pay someone who's not helping you? exactly.

As for marijuana, try to avoid situations where you know your friends will be using it. Yeah, that sounds pretty stupid, but if you know they always do it at a certain time or place, just don't go. If you meet them, and they're smoking, say no. Be casual about it. Just say "Nah, I'm trying to quit." and then of course, try to leave. Chances are, they won't push you to smoke anything. I've been told that drug users are somewhat greedy; they're rather keep their joints and pipes for themselves.

I'm really glad that you took a step in the right direction to see a counselor. You're getting better by the minute, and I really admire that you were able to ask for help, to help yourself. I want your courage. ¬_¬[/color]

[Emme888]

you'd be proud of me Roxie.. tonight we were driving to the fair tonight, and my friend nick and I were just cruising, and yeah.. so he pulls out a joint, and lights it up.. and passes it to me. I SOOO TURNED it down.. at first he kinda of looked at me funny, and asked if something were wrong, and I told him about the other day with dan, and how i have a job interview and i dont wanna get randomly tested and thrown out of the possiblility of really cool job this summer...


so yeah you'd be proud.. it was weird for a second or two.. but he got over it. and yeah.. it was still a fun night.. plus im crazy enough without it. :love:

[Corey]

[size=1][color=#2f4f4f]I'm glad you're egtting help Emme.

As for your drug problem, since you say you don't really like it then you should stop. I know it's not that easy. Marijuana might not be physically addicting, but it is psycologically addicting. That was my biggest problem when I stopped using. I was extremely bored with my life and everything just seemed better when I wa high. You might not like it, but you might find things more interesting when you're high and therefore don't want to stop on some subconcious level.
Roxie's advice is a good one, try to avoid situations.

And Roxie, a lot of drug users are greedy, but pot smokers generally want to smoke up with other people simply because it's more fun. Sure a good solo high is fun, but when you're with a friend things are hilarious.[/size][/color]

[Emme888]

maybe its just me.. but for me getting high isn't all that great.

Everything sounds really funny, and like (you know when you're ears are plugged with water, and you hear you voice inside your own head when you talk???) well it sounds like that, and you're really dizzy, and everything. Everything is in slow motion, and you get really tired really quick. The tired part is ok, but when you close your eyes, your mind is still spinning.. it's really weird.

Ok ok when i first smoked pot, it was with joints.... now this really didn't do much.. yeah i thought everything was funnier..but that was about that...

now pipes on the other hand are wayy different.. i felt like i did (described above).. but i wass soo paranoied... like time moved sooo sooo slowly.. at first like it felt like i was high for hours.. when it was really only like 15 mins.. and yeah i was soo freaking out.. it was crazy.

the other day though.. i knew what to expect and yeah but still i didn't like being dizzy.. maybe its cause i only took like 3 huge hits off the pipe..and it was creep..so when it hit hard it hit hard.. but yeah .. 3 pipe hits is like what 9 joint hits? i dont like pipes so much.. or smoking in general that much..

I think I'm gonna become straightedge.. expect for the whole no getting booty part :wigout: common a girl has to have some fun right?


OH yeah i told my boyfriend everyone.. and he dumpted me... said he didn't need all the stress of things.. and to boot i found out that he's now going with another girl....

Im korean..she's chinese... we're both volleyball players.. she's one year older though.. but has a much lower iq than me.. cause i tested around 137 and she's in most of my classes.. so i've seen her grades. . not that good... but still I'm pretty.. but i have my problems.. i guess he wasn't ready for something real.. he wanted a "teen" girlfriend... i've been told im far too mature for my age.. because hey when your getting ulcers in 7th grade over your GPA.. you tend to grow up more quickly than other kids.. i guess ill just have to look to older guys than too.. o well :love:

[Harry]

Telling the boyfriend was a horrible idea. Most guys would never willingly put themselves through something like having an anorexic girlfriend. Especially in high school.

[Emme888]

[quote name='Harry']Telling the boyfriend was a horrible idea. Most guys would never willingly put themselves through something like having an anorexic girlfriend. Especially in high school.[/quote]


i was going with roxie told me [B]"I agree with what Dan L said; talk to someone you know, whether it's your mom, or a friend, or your [U]boyfriend[/U]"[/B]


and so yeah.. im the one who should feel bad for tellling him? cause i wanted to be mature and handle my problems, and let him in on the situation? or am i not understanding.. cause i do agree that i should have told him.. and i said i was getting help..so maybe its just me.. i was gonna geet help with or without his help..so why could n't he have just stayed.. cause honestly he did make me feel beautiful..and that's something no has been able to do in my life.. he was the only one who ever said those words, and I believed him.. *sigh* :(

[Adora]

First of all, I think you should seriously consider dropping the weed.

Anorexia Nervosa and Bulemia are problems greatly compounded with psychological issues and mental disease, which is a very dangerous combination when you put it with marijuana. It also won't be helping if you are also depressed or on meds. Marijuana, like a lot of soft drugs, doesn't change your mood, but heightens the one you already have. So if you are seriously depressed, and you do weed, you're not helping yourself at all.

Eating disorders are all about control. Control over yourself and, in secondard cases, over others. A professional therapist can help you with these issues, and how to overcome them so you can develop a normal eating habits and a normal "relationship" with food (I hate to use that r word, but it was the only way I could think to phrase it properly). "Just because everyone is fat around me" is a bad excuse and avoiding the real issue at the heart of the matter. So yes, professional help is what you need. If, to get that help, you need to reveal it to someone close to you such as a relative, then you should. Tell your mother again, tell her how bad it is, and, well, hope she handles it like a mature human being (though yes, some parents dont) and helps you get therapy.

And your boyfriend obviously wasn't worth it, if he couldn't handle it.

[Harry]

[QUOTE=Emme888]i was going with roxie told me [B]"I agree with what Dan L said; talk to someone you know, whether it's your mom, or a friend, or your [U]boyfriend[/U]"[/B]


and so yeah.. im the one who should feel bad for tellling him? cause i wanted to be mature and handle my problems, and let him in on the situation? or am i not understanding.. cause i do agree that i should have told him.. and i said i was getting help..so maybe its just me.. i was gonna geet help with or without his help..so why could n't he have just stayed.. cause honestly he did make me feel beautiful..and that's something no has been able to do in my life.. he was the only one who ever said those words, and I believed him.. *sigh* :([/QUOTE]
I'm not saying you should feel bad about it, it seems like you got over it already. But really what answer were you expecting to get from someone in highschool? If you two trusted and cared for each other so much you would've told him earlier.

[Shi no Tenshi]

First off, I'd like to say I've done a year of psychology, so I can offer a little bit of professional advice. I am not trying to stick you to a text-book case- plus I might as well start off with an intelligent post ;]

Sorry if I'm just regurgitating what your counseller said x_x

Let's clarify. Anorexia is where you [i]want[/i] to loose body weight- in your case to look like a typical waif. Bulimia is where you wish to maintain your weight because you have an [i]intense fear[/i] of gaining weight. I am not saying you must stick to one, people are much more complicated than that, but if you are able to figure out which one you are most likely to be then it will be easier to help you.

[b]Marijuana is an addictive drug, contrary to popular belief[/b], even if not highly so. It causes anxiety which will not help your current mental state. It is also extremely unhealthy- much like cigarrettes. It leaves fat deposits in your arteries. I think it would be best to either try and give it up giving your current state, or if you can't, join a help group.

Hey, I actually have smoked some pot. And skunk. It's not pretty. Pot makes me feel sick to my bones, so I don't talk or do anything. I just sit there and wait till I puke. That always overrides the happiness it's meant to bring ;/ When I had skunk, nothing happened. Then I woke up and the room was spinning. I thought I woke up in a carousel. I had to call out for help from my friend. So no more of that for me x_x

Other than seeing a counseller, which is a good thing you have done for yourself, I suggest taking up new hobbies, getting a job or hanging out with some 'clean' friends- not necessarily ditching your other ones, just taking a break from them. They'll understand if you are going through a bad patch, and I'm sure they'll be supportive.

Joining art classes involving life drawing may be good. I take art, and it has taught me that the human form is beautiful, no matter how skinny, fat, short, or tall it may be. I used to be very self-concious, and used to hide my form underneath children's baggy clothing. But now I feel much less aware of how I look, and it's made me a lot happier.

Telling your boyfriend [i]was[/i] a good idea. It's a mature situation, and if he couldn't handle it, he is not worth it. A lover should be supportive even if they can't help you. Don't place the blame inside of you. Act as you naturally do. Better people will see you as a person suffering from anorexia, rathen than as an anorexic.

Good luck, hope you feel better soon.

[Dan L]

[quote name='Emme888']OH yeah i told my boyfriend everyone.. and he dumpted me... said he didn't need all the stress of things.. and to boot i found out that he's now going with another girl....[/quote]

I don't think it was a stupid idea for you to have told him. For one thing now you know where he stands with regards to the real you.

In contrast to what Harry said, I'd say that it was definitely a good idea, and certainly not a horrible one.

As human beings, we were made for relationship. And if you don't believe that, then we just evolved that way- but either way, relationships are key to our existence.

Regardless of how trivial a deal it may seem at a young age, a boyfriend actually makes quite a large contribution into most girls' lives, and even if he doesn't do so intentionally, he makes a significant commitment to her. Regardless of whether you're intending it only short-term for the moment, or whether you're looking to bigger things in the future, ultimately two people in relationship like that share their lives with each other (that is, when it is a relationship, as opposed to dating for the sake of it).

So, if you shared something of what you're really going through and he couldn't deal with it, then at the end of the day, you're really better off without him. You don't really get much lasting good from a relationship where you can't get support for the things you're going through. Essentially that's like saying "hey, I really like you, and want to be with you, but you're basically on your own" which isn't much of a fair deal.

A lot of this is much more applicable to more mature people- ie 18+, and virtually not at all at the age of 15 and below (because the concept of relationships is just to be cool, rather than to actually share anything), but to a certain extent these things hold true for everyone.

[Emme888]

omg.. my well i guess .. ex boyfriend wrote bout me in his opendiary..and the truth is that he didn't want to date me cause he felt more lust than anything, and he didn't want to hurt me by just using me like that.

so i feel really weird now.. cause i really do miss him tons.. but it's just that... in his entries he wrote about me and how beautiful i was, and that he loved my personality..but whenever around me..he felt
[B]"lustful and I dunno. I grabbed her not in affectionate way.. but lustful[/B]"...
so he dumped me cause he waas really confused about it being just phyiscal.

I wanna talk to him, and take him back... but i dont know if this is best. Cause he said he couldn't handle my problems.. so is he worth the trouble?

and oh yeah.. thrusday is just coming around the corner..and im scared shitless. The more i think about it... the shrink visit is something im really not looking forward to.

[Roxie Faye]

[color=#9933ff]I'm really sorry to hear that things didn't work out with your boyfriend, but I'll tell you that I still stand by my advice. I think it's good that you found out where he stands - now you can find someone [b]better[/b] who isn't so [b]insensitive[/b]. I wouldn't go back to him if I were you. Lonliness is really tough (like I've said - trust me: I know), but why would you hang around someone who doesn't like you because of your problems? When someone likes you only when it's convinient for them, it's called a [b]fair weather friend[/b] (or in your case, boyfriend).

And if it's any consolation to you, Koreans > Chinese. And I'm half Chinese. I think they are too fierce in their cultural additude sometimes (they know when you're not Chinese - or even when you're ABC - American Born Chinese! ¬.¬). Besides, many Koreans are Christian, which is cool. (Not that Buddhism isn't, but I relate better to those who share my religion, for some reason. O.o;)

As for the shrink part, don't be nervous. They're not there to intimidate you (and if they do, they're not the counselor for you). Some places have games in their office for kids, teens, and I guess, adults. Since I'm sure you don't know if the therapist has games, bring a deck of cards and ask if they will play with you for half the session. Or, if you and they are really good at multi-tasking, ask if you can talk over playing cards. =)

If things don't seem to resolve themselves in the first couple sessions, be patient. Lack of self-confidence is the number one problem of women (....which can lead to Anorexia and other diseases). It took my sister three years to realize her self-worth, and [b]I'm[/b].still.working.on.it... V_V;[/color]

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo]It seems as though everyone has more or less covered the basis. My only advice for you is the same advice that I give to everyone that has a psychological disorder. Exercise. Lots and lots of exercise. When you are able to become disciplined enough to workout regularly you tend to become disciplined in other aspects of your life as well. It is also very theraputic, killing off quite a bit of your free time and allowing your mind to wander away from your life problems as well.

I would also guess that working out would help remedy your poor self image. It would help you tone up and get leaner while the same time allowing you to eat without haveing to purge (mainly because your body will need the food for your workouts to be effective).

Anyway, whatever you decide to do I wish you the best of luck :)[/color]