RPG DeathBug for Prez!

[DeathBug]

[color=indigo][size=1][font=comic sans ms]The scene is a press conference in a small office. There are many reporters and press officials around. A podium sits in the center of the room.

DeathBug and his associates, dressed in navy blue suits, enter from a door in the back. He steps behind the podium, and then adjusts the mic.

DeathBug: Is this thing on? Can you hear me now? Testing?

The mic seems to be working perfectly, but DeathBug is unsure.

DB: Hello? Ollie ollie in-come-free? *taps mic* Yo?

DeathBug pulls out a small chalk slate. Bringing it to the mic, he drags his nails across it, screeching horribly into the mic. All present hold their ears.

DB: You hear me?

Everyone else: Yes!!

DB: Ah, good. *Drops slate* Anyway, I bet you?re probably wondering why I?ve called you all here today.

Reporter #1: You?re running for president.

DB: What? Who told you?!

Reporter #1: Uh, that?s what the banner says.

DeathBug looks behind him; there?s a huge banner that reads ?DeathBug for President?.

DB: Well, a banner?s never lied to me before. So, yeah, I?m throwing my hat into the race. *Tosses a large sombrero into the crowd* I?m sure ya?ll have lots of questions.

Reporter #2: Not really. I mean, you?re not really running; this is just an imaginary conference in a short OtakuBoards post.

DB: Hey! In DeathBug?s America, we?ll respect the fourth wall, ma?am. Now, can I please have a few questions?

Utter silence.

DB: Uhh?

Crickets chirp.

DB: There?ll be Oreos in the lobby after the conference.

Everyone?s hands rise. Reporter #3: Mr. DeathBug!

DB: Please, Mr. DeathBug is my father?well, okay, not really. Just call me DeathBug. Now, what?s on your mind?

Reporter #3: How do you stand on the economy?

DB: Very carefully. Yes, you?

Reporter #4: How do you feel about the war?

DB: Which one? The domestic war on terror, the war in Iraq, or the war in Afghanistan? Next question?

Reporter #5: What?s your stance on gay marriage?

DB: I think all marriages should be happy.

Reporter #5: No, I mean homosexuals getting married.

DB: Do you want to know how I feel about homosexuals getting married, or do you want to know how I feel about the media circus that?s being made of a vitally important civil issue?

Reporter #5: That doesn?t make any sense?

DB: Maybe you misunderstood your question.

Reporter #2: Do you have any real stance on any important issues at all?

DB: :rolleyes: Look, if you want a real stance on real issues, go bother a real candidate who?s actually in the race.

Reporter #1: Uhm, okay. What party are you in?

DB: The Bug party, of course.

Reporter #3: What policies would you implement if elected?

DB: I?m glad you asked. I?d like to hire a group to write a punk rock version of the national anthem. I will also place Matt Groening?s face on a currency note, and install trap doors in the press conference room.

Reporter #2: That?s stupid.

DB: Is it really? *Holds up a remote* I?ve already done it in here.

Reporter #2: Yeah, right.

DB: That?s it. Buh-bye! *Presses button*

A random person behind DeathBug falls through a trapdoor.

Random person: Ahhh! I regret noooottthhhiiiinnnnggggg?..

DB: Uh, oops. ^^; Wires were a little crossed?next question?

Reporter #4: Do you have a first lady?

DB: Of course; my OB wife, the lovely and talented Bandit Joeykuba.

Reporter #5: Isn?t that a boy?

DB: Careful; she?ll kill you for that. Next question?

Reporter #1: Howw ould you respond to political pundits such as Bill o'Reily or Micheal Moore?

DB: With wedgies, mostly. Except for Micheal Moore; I don't actually wanna' touch him. Cootie central, man. Are there any other questions?

Reporter #2: Yeah; why are you even running?

DB: To that, there is a grand story. After recommending a drastic and revolutionary change to the traditional debate system between political candidates, my peers saw my great leadership potential and advised my to run for office.

Reporter #1: What were those changes?

DB: Huh?

Reporter #1: The changes you wanted to make to the debate system?

DB: Oh, yeah. I said the candidates should duel with batons on rotating platforms, like on American Gladiators. I-hey, where are you going?

Reporter #5: The Oreos are in the lobby now, so we?re out of here.

DB: Wait! I still need you! You have to get the word out! I?m accepting applications for cabinet positions! I need a VP, a secretary, all sorts of stuff. People just need to PM me, and?aren?t you going to report any oft his.

Reporter #2: Oh, don?t worry; I will. I?ll be sure to report what a conceited loser you are, and how moronic your ?Bug party? is! When I?m done with you, your own mother wouldn?t vote for you! I-ah!

DB: *holds up remote* Heh, I got the trap door working. God bless America!

------

So, as you might have noticed, I'm looking for cabinet members to join the Bug party. Anyone interested should give me a PM with their qualifications, possible contributions to make to the party, and the position being applied for. Check back here for future campain updates. (That's not a typo; I put the 'pain' in 'campaign'.)

[center][b]DeathBug For President in 2004[/b]
[i]For a Weirder America[/i][/center][/color][/size][/font]

[Xander Harris]

A political fundraiser somewhere in the town of Cyberspace...

Deathbug: And now I would like to announce my proposed appointee for the position of Secretary of Defense... Xander Harris.

Xander Harris (walking on stage and taking the mike): Yes, a vote for Deathbug is a vote for me... but don't let that stop you from voting for Deathbug.

(crickets chirp at the attempt at levity, and Letterman tivos than tapes the clip for use on the show tonight)

XH: ANywhow, as I was saying. THIS ADMINISTRATION has let the American people down. What is THIS ADMINISTRATION thinking? THIS ADMINISTRATION is so stupid, it's commander and chief can't even speak English... because he's always having heart attacks! HA HA...

(again crickets chirp. Xander abondons his attempts at humor in favor of 'straight talk')

XH: The policies of THIS ADMINISTRATION's secretary of state are bad. Porno bondage pics being made with helpless prisoners in Iraqi prisons is totally not cool. Elect me, and the war on terror will be ended in a matter of days, with no risk whatsoever to American personel. Hear me out. True muslims believe that pigs are 'unclean'. Contact with a pig can condemn one. Therefore, I shall train an army of pig soldiers, with miniature cannons mounted to their foreheads. Thousands of them shall be let loose in the hills of Afghanistan and the streets of Iraq. The pigs (which have excellent senses of smell) will literally sniff out every last terrorist and shoot them. The terrorits will rush from their hiding places when they see the unclean creatures approach. My plan is foolproof!

Also, instead of using intelligence when deciding the next nation to conquer, we will simply throw a dart at a map of the middle east (with France penciled in). Whichever nation the dart hits, is the nation we will attack. I know this seems like a very small change in policy, but there is one key difference: THIS ADMINISTRATION uses green darts. We would use red ones, which cost far less, freeing more government funds with which to buy pigs.

Also, I shall make sure that the weapons available to the president, his plastic batons, will always be kept shiny and clean before a 'debate'.

So vote for Deathbug in the 2004 election, and help make America a more, safe, sane, sanitary place to live.



OOC: You know what would make this fun? If Deathbug had a challenger. Anyone here on the boards got an ego big enough to take him on?

In the fall, we could have our own 'Otaku Elections.' Just an idea.

[Anne]

[COLOR=Pink][SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]A small conference room has people from the media. The room is decorated with banners that say ?Kittychanann for Prez?.

Kittychanann walks up to the podium in a hot pink dress suit.

Kittychanann: (clear throat and coughs for the next five minutes)

Media people start looking at their watches.

Kittychanann: I have called this press conference because..?

Random person: We know you are running for President, too.

Kittychanann: I was not finished. It has come to my attention that the ?Bug party? doesn?t have a great rival. So with much consideration and thought I have decided to run against him.

Reporter #2: You know as we told Deathbug before this is just an imaginary conference in a short OtakuBoards post.

Kittychanann: (takes out T-square *a t-square is a ruler with an edge on the end of it to heelp keep a straight line. When held in a verical position it looks like a T.. hence the name.* form nowhere and chucks it at Reporter #2. Reporter #2 is knocked out unconscious.) Anymore problems?

Stunned silence.

Kittychanann: Okay now ask me some questions.

Hands shoot up.

Reporter #12: Well what is it like being a woman and running for Prez? Do you feel intimated by all your male counter parts?

Kittychanann: It?s just like running like a man without the same anatomy and I?m ready to take the ?Bug Party? down.

Reporter #1: Well Ms. Kittychanann what is the name of your party?

Kittychanann: First off just call me Mistress Anne? umm I mean just Ms. Anne. Of course my party is called the ?Kitty Party?.

Reporter #4: Deathbug gave us Oreo, what will you give us.

Anne: I plan on serving you milk and chocolate chip cookies right here.

Random person: I?m allergic to milk.

Anne: (Brings T-square out)

Random person: Never mind

Anne: Okay does anyone else have some questions.

Reporter #5: Ms. Anne do you have a first lady.. I men first man?

Anne: yes of course I have tons of first ladies and First men. Would you like to be one too?

Sound of Throats clearing.

Reporter #3: Ms. Anne how do you feel about the War?

Anne: Well after buying some pesticides I found every anthill and destroyed them. So I think the war with ants are over.

You hear the sounds of blinking eyes.

Reporter #6: Everyone knows the gas prices have risen in the past couple of month. Do you think you have a solution to this problem?

Anne: Ah! A very good question. At this moment I have a team of mad scientist that are developing a new system of fuel that comes from are garbage.

Reporter #8: Now Deathbug had the suggest that candidates should duel with batons on rotating platforms, like on American Gladiators. What do you think of this?

Anne: Well I am all ready for him. I hired an Italian Mafia guy to do my fighting for me.

Reporter #9: Ms. Anne did you know your outfit is blinding us because it is so bright.

Anne: Yes I did; now the image of me will be planted into your subconscious. Well that is enough questions for today. I want you to spread the word of my coming into the race. Also that I, too need Cabinets members as well. PM if you want to be in the ?Kitty Party?.

Anne walks out off the platform and leaves by a back exit. The media people look at each other.

-------
Well anyway I am running for President too. If you want to be one of my cabinet members, send a PM to me. I will read through them all. Be sure to tell what kind of training you have had. blah blah and all that other stuff. I will read it over and will most likely accept anyone.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Bandit Joeykuba]

The conference room was once more filled with a few irritated reporters. There were only a few because only few survived Deathbug's and Kittychanann's conferences. Some died of boredom, some by Kittychanann's amazing T-box, some more by the 'Bug's trap doors, some choked on cookies (whether they were oreo's or chocolate chip), one died after seeing the other's died, two were slain by mysterious horsemen, and one was sucked into a blackhole. Don't ask how it happened, it just did. They were irritated because they had to attend yet another conference.

Anyways, Bandit Joeykuba entered the scene in black jeans, a black teeshirt, and a black bucket hat. Ooo, and a flashy pin that read 'I ish not a boy!'. She walked behind the podium and instantly dissapeared. She coughed and somebody ran up with a chair for her to stand on.

Bandit Joeykuba: Thank you.

A banner behind her read: 'Deathbug for President', only 'Deathbug' was marked out in black permenant marker and above it was crudely written 'Bandit Joeykuba'. So, in actuallity, it read: 'Bandit Joeykuba for President'. Only to everyone who could not read the great Bandit's hand writing, it read: 'Bqndlx Taottvbq'.

Bandit Joeykuba: I guess y'all know why you're here today?

Crickets chirp.

Bandit Joeykuba: :o I'm running for president.

The reporters all 'Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' at once.

Bandit Joeykuba: I'm Bandit Joeykuba-

Reporter #1 who used to be #8 until recently: So that's what it says!

Bandit Joeykuba: *throws a rubber chicken at Reporter #1 who gives her a strange look* But y'all can call me Bandit, cause it's a lot shorter and I don't feel like typing 'Bandit Joeykuba' over and over again. Now, do y'all have any questions for me?

Reporter #2 who used to be... *recieves glares from readers* aw, never mind: Isn't Bandit Joeykuba a guy name?

Bandit: ... EAT CHICKEN! *throws millions of rubber chickens at Reporter #2, successfully burying him*

Reporter #2: *dies of suffacation*

Bandit: Anymore questions?

Reporter #3: What's the name of your party?

Bandit: Hmm... Deathbug and Kittychanann named their parties after themselves so my party's name will be... The Redundant Party of Redundancy Party. *recieves odd looks* Kidding. It shall be called: That Other Party.

Reporter #3: Why?

Bandit: *shrugs* I felt like it?

Reporter #4: *raises hand*

Bandit: Yes, you, with the face.

Reporter #4: Isn't Deathbug your OB husband?

Bandit: Yes.

Reporter #4: Don't you think it's a bit unethical to run against him?

Bandit: ...

Reporter #4: ...

Bandit: Well, the way I figure it, if both of us run, there's a better chance one of us will win and get to live in the White House.

Reporter #1: You do realize this isn't a real election, right?

Bandit:... :shifty: Ummm... Of course I do. :sweat:

Reporter #3: What would you do if you won?

Bandit: This isn't a real election, what does it matter?

Reporter #3: If you won, AND this were a real election, what would you do?

Bandit: *shrugs* Whatever Deathbug would do, I guess. Oh, and paint the White House in a rainbow of colors so it can't be considered racist or color...ist like it is now.

Reporter #1: Is that all?

Bandit: Oh, oh, and make an anime station available to evryone, not just a privilaged few!

Reporter #4: Don't you care about any important issues?

Bandit: But... Anime is important!

Reporter #4: No it's not.

Bandit: *throws a Rubber chicken at Reporter #4* Quiet you.

Reporter #1: Do you have any snacks for us?

Bandit: Of course! Stale oreos left over from Deathbug's conference and sour milk from Kittychanann's.

Reporters: *gag and one throws-up*

Bandit: Oh stop your complaining and remember to vote Bandit Joeykuba for president. Or Deathbug. It doesn't bother me unless you vote for Kittychanann. Then I'll have to kill you. Or have someone kill you for me. Or get someone to have someone kill you.
----------------------------------------------------
[SIZE=4]Rember to vote for Bandit Joeykuba for president 2004. Or Deathbug, he's cool too.[/SIZE]

[Swordsaint]

Swordsaint stepped into the reporter filled conference room, wearing a white t-shirt with the words "VOTE KITTYCHAN FOR PREZ!" emblazoned in bright garish colors on it, on the back it said "IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YA." other than that, he wore baggy cargo pants and a foam covered sword hung from his loose fitting belt

Most of the reporters that survived Death bug and Kittychan's Conferences looked sickly and green. More than a few hade puked after being forced fed stale oreo's and sour milk at bandit JoeyKuba's conference. A few of them were dead from being hit with a t-square. He stepped firmly up to the podium. Garbage and puke littered the floor. Swordsaint narrowed his eyes, glaring at each reporter.

The reporters eyed the foam sword nervously before speaking up meakly.

Reporter #1: Um...Swordsaint sir...um...is it true that your...throwing your support to the KittyChan party?
Swordsaint leapt from the podium, lifting the reporter out of his chair.

Swordsaint: How do you know that name!? Who are you? Who sent you!? Was it death bug! JoeyKuba!?

The poor reporter passed out in terror. The one sitting next to him spoke up.

Reporter #3: Uh sir...your names on the program, along with your picture.
she held up one of the programs, right there under JoeyKuba's picture was Swordsaints.

Swordsaint: oh...my bad. *sets the reporter back down in his chair, and climbs back onto the podium* Well...ask away.

Reporter #2: sir! what are your reasons for giving your support to the KittyChan party?

*Swordsaints eyebrows arch in suspicion* : I can tell you that it has nothing to do with vast amounts of money or war profiteering(sp?) I'm giving her party my support for humanitarian reas ons only...*waves to guy behind the curtain*

A guy dressed in an italian suit carts out a little baby. Swordsaint picks it up gingerly, giving it a quick peck on the cheek. The reporters sweatdrop as the baby's carted away

Reporter #3: Mr. Swordsaint! What will your position be in miss KittyChan's cabinet?

*swordsaint pulls out a notepad, scribbling the reporters name and description quickly* Swordsaint: well...*cough* ...Um well I can tell you that right now I will be handling the clean up and peace keeping process of the ant war, by dropping ant food laced with copious amounts of raid. Also I can tell you that I have not been hired as her right hand evil henchman.

*the reporters blink in surprise, a few of them sigh with the ridiculous ant war mentioned again*

Reporter #1 (recovered) : What are your thoughts on the war, sir?

Swordsaint *putting on cheesy shiney smile*: I think it's sad that it came to this between the ants. And it's sad that we had to carpet bomb them with raid cans and m-80s. But I can promise you this *glares solemly into the camera's* I did not have anything to do with the war profiteering groups discovered within the pest control company.

Reporter #2: Sir, what kind of an idoit are you?

Swordsaint snaps his fingers, evil ninjas dressed in tye dye and polka dots drift down from the ceiling, gagging the reporter with month old maple doghnuts. THey drag er away to a waiting purple clown car. The other reporters hold their comments quickly, lest they be sent with the clowns.

Reporter #4: Sir, how will you help kittyChan when dealing with the public.

Swordsaint *Shouting*: All paparazzi will be dealt with harshly. They will be beaten with soggy spagehti noodles and foam bats. Any other questions?

the reportors shake their heads vigorsly.

Sworsdaint: Alright then! Help yourelves to the doughnuts! I'll be joining miss kitty chan to discuss our plans of world domi... *coushs* Worldwide diplomacy, excuss me. Swordsaint leaves with his henchman hopping into a red and pink clown car.

[Bandit Joeykuba]

The conference room was once again filled, well not really filled, but you get the drift, with the few remaining reporters. Bandit entered in the same clothes she had worn at the last one, her hair amess. All the reporters shrieked in fear and one passed out for the small mass of horror that came their way. Bandit made her way to the podium, dragging behind her a chair on which to stand. Once she reached the podium, which took her an entire paragraph to do, the horrified reporters had, indeed, gone to sleep.

Bandit: WAKE UP! *makes odd shrilly noises into the mic*

Reporters: *shoot up from their chairs, grtting their teeth and holding their ears*

Bandit: That's better... *clears throat* I, the great Bandit, have a member in my cabinet. Kitty, not to be confused with one of my oppenent's, Kittychannan,, shall be vice-president if I win!

Reporter #1: But this isn't a real-

Bandit: I KNOW THAT! *throws a dictionairy at #1, because they were on sale and rubber chickens had been outlawed by the time this was typed as a result of the last conference she was in*

Reporter #1: *is hit with the dictionairy, which successyfully snaps his neck*

Bandit: See, kids, knowledge CAN kill you if thrown at a high velocity at your frail body! Tell your parents!

Reporter #1: I'm not dead yet!

Bandit: ...Knowledge can MORTALLY WOUND you!

Reporter #1: I'm getting better!

At this point, the irritated Bandit snapped her fingers and a ninja fell from the roof and slayed Reporter #1.

Bandit: Knowledge can INJURE you and make it seem like you're getting better and then you DIE! Tell your parents! Anyone else got any smart-alecky remarks?

Silenced prevailed in the conference room several minutes.

Bandit: Good! Now, here is a actual document of how Kitty became my Vice President- *pulls down a Bed sheet from the ceiling and a projector from nowhere in particular and turns it on revealing a picture of two penguins fighting over a tic-tac* ...Wrong picture. *takes the forementioned picture off and puts the actual PM between herself and Kitty*

It reads:

|Originally Posted by Kitty|

Dear Miss Lady Running for President... Girl....,

It has come to my attention that you need a Vice President and I would like to have that job. *tries to grab it* Well, yeah. I hope that of all those who've applied, *cough*nobody*cough*, I hope you choose me. Unless... of course... you aren't interested in a bossy nobody doing all your work for you. Of course, you'd have to read your speeches... but I think that's it.... Yeah....

Anyway... I wasn't quite sure what "qualifications" are being requested as current. But to let you know I haven't been banned in the almost-year I've been here. For someone like me, I can tell you, that's very impressive to most people. Now, can I have a cookie?

~Kitty

P.S. No, seriously. You offered those cookies, and I was wondering if they were just for reporters. Well? *wants a cookie*

|Originally Posted by Bandit Joeykuba|
Dear Miss Lady Applying to be my Vice President... Dude...,

It has come to my attention that I need a Vice President and you would like that job. *dangles the job in front of you* Ha! In reviewing all of my applications for this position *cough*onlyyou*cough*, I feel compelled to choose you. Unless... of course... I decided to kill you for not reading my speeches for me... but I think that's it... Yeah...

Anyway... I didn't request any "qaulifications" for my future cabinet-mates as current. But to let you know, you haven't been banned in the almost-year you've been here. And for someone like you, you little drugdealer (didn't think I'd find out, did you?), that's pretty impressive to many of us, because drugdealers normally get banned for spamming. Enclosed in this PM is a cookie. A stale oreo to be precise. Welcome to vice-presidency, Kitty. Try not to scratch to furniture.

~Bandit

Bandit: And that's the whole shindig. Now get out of my sight!

The reporters gladly fled from the scene.

Bandit: *takes a deep breath* America shall be safe in my capable hands, it shall, it shall...

[Kitty]

[color=blue][size=1]About two and a half hours later, the reporters left from the past four or five conferences gather, along with a crowd of new reporters. All the "newbies" look around excitedly, waiting for their chance to interview some really stupid girl that wanted to become vice president because she had an interest in politics. A long, long time ago.

The more "educated" of the reporters huddled in groups to protect themselves from the next insane otakuboarder who wanted to seriously injure (or kill) them. Of course, what they did not expect was the short, skinny, brown haired thirteen year old that walked up to the podium in guy jeans and a shirt that read "Knowledge can INJURE you and make it seem like you're getting better and then you DIE! Tell your parents!".

Kitty: Hello. I'm sure most of you know what to expect. *shoots a sharp glare at the three groups of reporters whimpering in terror* For the rest of you, I am Kitty and I shall be running for the position of Bandit Joeykuba's Vice President. And now--

Reporter #7: Are the rumors true?

Kitty: Uh... what rumors?

Reporter #7: The rumors that you are an ex-con and a drug dealer.

Kitty: Uh... no... Where'd you hear that?

Reporter #7: Well, Bandit Joeykuba read us that part about you being a drug dealer in that letter/PM thing, and the other has been circulating around Otakuboards since Bandit Joeykuba's last conference... So, are they true?

Kitty: What are you talking about?! I already told you! They AREN'T true! NEVERMIND! You interupted me! You die now!

She immediatly throws a (now) rock-hard oreo that she'd tried to eat, but was just to dang old for her to even bite into. The reporter is hit.

Kitty: Well.... are you dead yet?

Reporter #7: No. How could you think that an old cookie coul--

The reporter dies while speaking. Apparently, the power of the cookie's impact was delayed for... as long as it was that reporter #7 stayed alive. The new reports begin panicking and running around the room in wide circles screaming "ME CHINESE!!". The others stay huddled in there weird little groups.

Kitty: Calm down. *they don't hear her* Calm DOWN *she is ignored*. CALM DOWN! *they keep yelling "ME CHINESE!!", but stop running* SHUT UP!!!!! *it finally works*

Silence.

Kitty: *regains composure* Thank you. I'd like to finish my sentence now. *clears throught* And now, it is time that you ask me questions. Fire away.

Silence.

Kitty holds up an oreo as if it were the button that, if pushed, could blow up the world. Or.. at least that tiny little conference room.

Reporter #4: *reluctantly speaks up* What are you going to feed us after this whole ordeal is over with?

Kitty: NOTHING!! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha... ha... ha...ah... I ran out of donuts.. I was hungry...

The reports make strange faces.

Reporter #11: How many donuts were there?

Kitty: Six boxes. Now, can you ask questions related to--

Reporter #9: Can you eat four steaks in one sitting?

Kitty: Yes. Actually, I've eaten five in one sitting, but that's beside the poi--

Reporter #5: If you were forced to cannibalism(sp?) and you were stuck with all the members of all the parties running, who would you eat first?

Kitty: I WON'T ANSWER THAT!! Now, please ask some reasonable questions.

The reports look at the ground and scratch their heads.

Kitty: Anyone? Does ANYONE have a question that isn't about my eating habits?

A lone reporter raises his hand.

Kitty: Yes, you. Reporter number... uh.... 54?

Reporter #1: It's ONE!! ONE!! Why can't ANYONE see that?

Kitty: Your name tag says 54.

Reporter #1: No it doesn't. I wrote this mysel-- *looks at tag* Oh... It DOES say 54... Man my handwriting sucks...

Kitty: That's all well and good, but can we start asking some questions about me now?

Reporter #Said was 1, but is now 54: And my ma used to say I had such [i]pretty[/i] writing.. *rambles on*

Kitty: This is just to frustrating...

As the Vice President candidate begins walking off stage, a reporter yells:

Reporter #Magenta: Where's our donuts?

Violent dogs are sent out behind Kitty as she walks back stage. Most reporters are shred to pieces, others slowly eaten alive. Evil laughter fills the conference room as Kitty stands there at the opening laughing. The other candidates stand around her staring weirdly. Kitty realizes that they're there and quickly stops laughing.

Kitty: What? What are you all staring at? What? WHAT?

They are silent.

Kitty: Ah, you guys are no fun... *eats a donut*

One reporter survives and sees her eating a donut that she had said had been eaten.

Reporter #Yellow: Hey.. You said.. there were no more donuts... What the hell?

Kitty: So I lied. HEY!! *sees the other candidates eating donuts* THAT WAS MY BOX!! *complains that there won't be anymore donuts left*[/color][/size]

[Anne]

[COLOR=Pink][SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS]
Anne walks into the conference room with Swordsaint. The reports are now disheveled and some are missing limbs. Anne walk up to the podium in her hot pink suit with a T-square on her side held in place by a hot pink belt. Swordsaint comes up behind her and looks threatening

Anne: Good morning everyone I have an important announcement to make. I have two members in my Cabinet I would like to introduce to you.

Reporter #3: Are they as dangerous as Kitty, Bandit Joeykuda?s VP.

Anne: Of not course they are harmless as kittens

Swordsaint: (whisper in Anne?s ear) Do you think it okay to tell them that.. You know one of them is unstable.)

Anne: Don?t worry about it. (Speaks to the reporters) Okay on to business. I would like to first introduce my Vice President Cysword6.

Report #6: Miss Anne when will we meet him?

Anne: Not sure he will post though at some point in time.? (Shrugs her shoulders.)

Report #37: who is your other Cabinet member you said you had two.

Anne: Ah yes my other Cabinet member is (You hear a drum role) Vainglory as my Secretary of Defense.

Reporter #8: Didn?t he just sign up for OB.

Anne: (Takes out T-square and chucks it at the reporter.) It doesn?t matter. He is a good sadistic person and one I am happy to have on my team.

Reporter #fish: When will he post.

Anne: Don?t know probably when I bet him with my T-square telling him to do it. Anyway I must be going to further my plans of World dominat? I mean World Diplomacy.

Turning from the podium Anne walks out the back exit. Before swordsaint leaves he snaps his finger and the tie-dye ninjas attack the unsuspecting Reporters.

Swordsaint: Remember vote Kittychanann or else (Brings out nerf gun.)[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Lady Asphyxia]

[font=Verdana][size=1]This thread would be more at home in the [url="http://otakuboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=46"]Adventure Arena[/url]. If you take a look at the [url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=39627"]Adventure Arena Basics[/url], you'll see that an RPG is defined as: [/size][/font]

[size=1][font=Verdana][i]Collaborative story writing, in which each player mainly controls one specific character.[/i] [/font][/size]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Which is what you have here. ^.~[/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]Edit [/b][/color]-- The thread has already been moved, heh. ^_^[/size][/font]

[DeathBug]

[QUOTE=Lady Asphyxia][font=Verdana][size=1]This thread would be more at home in the [url=http://otakuboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=46]Adventure Arena[/url]. If you take a look at the [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=39627]Adventure Arena Basics[/url], you'll see that an RPG is defined as: [/size][/font]

[size=1][font=Verdana][i]Collaborative story writing, in which each player mainly controls one specific character.[/i] [/font][/size]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]Which is what you have here. ^.~[/size][/font][/QUOTE]
[color=indigo][size=1][font=comic sans ms]My apologies; I wasn't quite sure where it would fit, and at the time, I didn't know others would follow. ^^; If it needs to be moved, or if I should simply start a new thread in the RPG area and abandon this one, please let me know.[/size]

[center][size=3]-----[/size][/center]

[size=1]Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is DeathBug, and I am running for President of the United States of America. I'd like a few minutes of your time to explain what I would like to do for you and our nation.

Ask yourself a question: who would you like to lead the nation? A person of innovation, or a follower? One who sets a trend, or one who buys into them? A simple look at this thread will tell you, I blaze a trail, and my opponent merely walk in my shadow.

We need bold innovation in our country, ladies and gentlemen. My Secretary of Defense, Alexander Harris, has suggested giving pigs guns. It takes a special kind of visionary to not only keep a man with ideas like that on staff, but to also support him one hundred percent.

Many today feel that politics is a game for the rich, with the average person loosing out to the Almighty Dollar. I can assure you, the Bug Party is a true grassroots organization, and not just because no one will donate campain contributions to us. No, we're a grassroots party because all of our activities are free, and money ceases to be an issue.

You'll notice I said 'campain' instead of 'campaign'. That's because, in the Bug Party, we like puns. The more, the better. Studies have shown that those who engage in such world play are more creative and intelligent than those who don't. In other words, use a pun, go to Yale.

The real reason you should vote for me and my party is because I have your best interests at heart. Far too often, the Comman Constituent is left behind in the mire of partisan politics. Because I'm not really in the election, I can safely ignore the other parties, and focus solely on you. [strike]It also means I can make all the campaign promises I want, and never have to commit to them.[/strike]

So, when you go to the polls in November, ask yourself, Who do I want to lead this country, a stalwart sheapard, or the mindless sheep that follow in his path?

Also, to my respected opponenents: Baaa! Baaa![/color][/size][/font]

[center][img]http://www.sighost.us/members/DeathBug/usabug.jpg[/img][/center]

[sesshomaru 3]

Anne walks into yet another press conference with her hot pink suit on. Tapping the mic she looks at the freighted reporters.

Anne: I have come back for another important message


: Reporter #22: What is it Miss Anne.

: Anne: Well I am pleased to introduce my first demon pet sesshomaru 3

Hi mess with Miss Anne and your arm is gone a be missing also I am the first and only pet I jus happen to be a demon and I can turn into any kind of demon animal specialty is a giant dog I look exactly like seeshomaru only with two arms any questions *turns into a giant dog * oh and if you want to live I suggest you vote for miss Anne *walks over to miss Anne and sits down *

All reporters NO!!! SIR

[Cysword6]

Cysword walks onto the stage holding blades in his hands.

Cysword: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Kittychan's Vice President and I would like to be called Reis from this point on,. Whoever refuses to comply with this will get a gift.

Reporter #12: What will the gift be and how will we receive it?

Reis: These *shows blades threateningly* and like this *throws blade at reporter*. Any more questions?

Crowd is silent

Reporter #1: Why are you running as Kittychan's VP, doesn't she scare you with that T-Square?

Reis: Yes she scares me alot with her T-Square *looks backstage and sees anne ready to throw the t-square at him* but I'm running as her VP cuz she kidnapped... I mean cuz she is a very nice person.

Reporter #6: Do you support anything illegal?

Reis: Only if I'm sure I won't get caught.

Reporter #1: Do we get any food from this conference?

Reis: Yes, you get chocolate cake *sees people smile* made out of mud *everyone gets sad*.

Reporter #5: It seems as if the first demon pet can turn into any demon, does this frighten you or are you happy with Anne's decision?

Reis: I'm very happy with her decision, becuz of it I can do this *snaps fingers huge demon serpent goes right through the reporters eating about 20 of them* and then I'm very happy.

Reporter #38: Do we have to eat the cake after this conference?

Reis: Only if you want to live, well I guess that's all for now, last one to get inside dies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OOC: I hope that's ok I've never done anything like this before.

[Swordsaint]

A little ways away from where Cysword is giving His conference...

Swordsaint: Alright everyone! Ski masks on!

the six other passengers in the speeding neon yellow and pink clown car, pulled snow white coloered ski masks over their faces. They were coming up on the block where deathbugs hq was set up.
Swordsaint looked over his cramped team as best he could, they were as prepared and well armed as any evil henchmen team would be with tp and silly string. The car screeched to a halt.

Swordsaint: Go!Go!Go!

all seven of them poured out in rainbow of bright, garish colors that even a blind gay man would have called bad taste. The hurlled the tp as high as they could onto the four story building. A few of them ran up and sprayed silly string onto the windows and into random pedestrians faces. It was over in minutes.

Swordsaint: Okay that's good enough, back to the car!

all seven of the evil henchmen crammed themselves into the car. As they sped off, they heard a peculiar thumping sound, accompanied by muffled screams.

????: MMMMF *THUMP THUMP* Let me out of here!

Swordsaint: Who's that?

Henchman 4: Thats the reporter you had dragged away a few days ago.

Swordsaint: What!? Why didn't you dump her in an alley or something?

Henchman 1: You never said anything bout that man, you just snapped your fingers!

Swordsaint: *groans* Now she knows to much! Have her beaten with meat balls and lock her in with the clowns when we get back to hq.

Henchman bob: *gasp* The...th... the c-c-clowns! B...b...but they'll eat her alive!

Swordsaint tries to stare sternly at henchman bob, but ends up pulling all the muscles in his neck.

Swordsaint: Just cause sprayed you in the face and threw pies at you doesnt mean you have to get all wimpy on us! COME ON! WE"RE TRYING TO WIN AN ELECTION HERE!

Swordsaint leaned out the cars tiny window screaming:


[COLOR=Blue][CENTER][SIZE=4]VOTE KITTYCHANAN FOR PREZ. IF YOU KNOW WHAT"S GOOD FOR YA![/SIZE][/CENTER][/COLOR]