Hikari Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 [COLOR=DeepSkyBlue] That last touch shoudn't have ended. I had yearned and longed for just one more time. My heart coudn't be mended. I was sore and broken. Yur face so soft, and sweet. Reminding myself, I cry. When will we meet again? I wonder when? Once more -- That's not much... My heart longs For that one last touch. [/COLOR] :rolleyes: Okay, now, feel free to laugh at me! I don't mean to be sentimental... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aanallein Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Well, it seems you've written a bit of poetry before, you lack the classic errors of being too simple in the individual lines and too complex in the meaning itself. I wonder is the narrator saying this because a partner died? Or left them? I'm just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xander Harris Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Wow. That was touching (no pun intended). Great job conveying an emotional thought. This didn't feel overstructured and forced like so many other poems do, but rather it felt like it came from the heart. I really liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikari Posted June 3, 2004 Author Share Posted June 3, 2004 The poem is about a girl left alone by her lover. They broke up due to a long distance relationship. In the present, she is, again, yearning for the laughter and tears they have shared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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