Writing Blue Star

[Anne]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=Pink]This is a play I'm working on. I want to know what people think of it. This is only the first Act of it and when done it will be a short 10 min. play. *Note this is written in true play format. The person who is speaking is center. Actions are on the right and what they are speakig is on the left.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Blue Star[/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]

[U]
[CENTER]Cast of Characters[/CENTER][/U]

[U]Anne[/U]: 19. Medium height, with mid-length brown hair pulled up in a ponytail. Wears a pink checkered dress with a pair of Maryja shoes. She has a pair of cat ear on her head.
[U]
Danielle[/U]: 22 Very short, she has short-cropped hair that comes to her ears and is a bright red colour. She wears a short black skirt and a blue tee shirt with a small crescent moon necklace.

[U]Steven[/U]: 21 Has dirty blond hair trimmed short. He wears a nice plain black shirt and a pair of brown pants. Pair of glasses that look like Harry Potters.

[U]Gir:[/U] 24 Baldheaded, wearing a pair of blue jeans and white tee shirt.

[U]Dr. Hock:[/U] late 20?s Is a tall man with black spiky hair and pale skin. He wears a black dress shirt with a pair of black slack; he has a pair of black dress shoes and a black cape.

[U][CENTER]Time [/CENTER] [/U]

The present. Summer. Early morning.

[U][B]Setting[/B]:[/U] A dinning room of an apartment
[B]
[U]At Rise[/U]:[/B] A plain apartment dinning room. Danielle, Gir, and Steven are sitting at the table. A staircase is on the left side and some of the kitchen can be see. Anne is coming down the staircase



[CENTER]
Anne [/CENTER]
[RIGHT]
Walks down the staircase and sits down in the
Empty chair.[/RIGHT]

Good Morning everyone! So what is for breakfast? I'm starving.

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

[RIGHT] Looks Disgruntled. [/RIGHT]

Wouldn't know because it is your turn.

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Confused [/RIGHT]

It is!

[RIGHT]Quiet for a minute [/RIGHT]

Oh yeah I guess it is.

[RIGHT]Places hand behind her head and gave a fake laugh.
Walks into kitchen.[/RIGHT]


[CENTER]Gir [/CENTER]

You know Steven I don't understand how you can put up with her.

[CENTER]Steven[/CENTER]

She is not that bad.

[RIGHT]In the background you hear pots fall.[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

Owwww

[CENTER]Steven[/CENTER]


[RIGHT]Gives a sigh [/RIGHT]

Well at least not most of the time anyway. She may be clumsy, a horrible cook, very forgetful, and sometimes annoying but she still is sweet.

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

[RIGHT] Laughs[/RIGHT]



[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]
[RIGHT]Singing [/RIGHT]

In your dreams magical thoughts?All things are real unless you dream they?re not. In your dreams, love is the plot carried on wings of hope. Each of our souls intertwines, when we do. Instantly we see it the time to grow and be it when everything is pinned on a hope. Let rise the dreams of your heart, that innocent youth careless and kind. Free to roam the breeze in love only when two brilliantly shine as one?.

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

Yes we do have aliens around us.

[CENTER]Danielle[/CENTER]

Since I am Anne's friend it is up to me to defend her.

[RIGHT]Kicks Gir under the table.[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

What was that for?

[CENTER]Danielle[/CENTER]

[RIGHT] Glares[/RIGHT]

You know exactly what that was for.
[RIGHT]
A smoke detector goes off in the kitchen.[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]
[RIGHT]
Grins [/RIGHT]

Breakfast is ready.

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

[RIGHT] Comes out from the kitchen and places a plate
Of pancakes on the table.[/RIGHT]

I made pancakes.

[RIGHT]The four grab some pancakes and place
Them on their plates. They start to eat.[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Steven[/CENTER]

These aren't actually that bad today Anne.

[RIGHT]Eats another bite.[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Anne [/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Smiles happily[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

Yeah she actually is not trying to poison us today.

[RIGHT]Laughs[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Danielle[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Kicks Gir again under the table.[/RIGHT]

All right people, enough bickering and act like a happy family.

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

More like a dysfunctional one.

[CENTER]Steven[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Sighs [/RIGHT]

Come on, guys. Can't we all get along? Beside we got to open up shop in a half-hour.

[RIGHT]For the rest of the meal they sit quietly and eat.[/RIGHT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=Pink]Yeah well this is the first act if you get confused on how to read it just let me know. I will post the next Scene to it after i'm done writing it if people like it. So people critism please. Thank You!

~MEW~
<((_^)>[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Muad'Dib]

Well, it's done rather well overall, and the character's personalities are very obvious, witch is a good thing in my opinion. I like the 'couple of average people and a shop' kind of attitude.

Though I must ask, why does Anne have bunny ears? heh heh, just wondering.

Citicism, criticism... the dialogue is a little generic, but then again, most play dialogues are. Also, it seemed a little short for an entire act, though it looks long when it's typed.

[Anne]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=Pink]Okay people here is the second act. First to answer Firephoex question. Why bunny ears. I do not know because she isn't wering bunny ears. She is wearing cat ears. All thses characters are based on real life. Anne=myself sinmce my name is Anne. I alsways wear cat ears. Its my trademark. Also you are right they are more like scenes. Anyhoo. Here is the second scene.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[CENTER][COLOR=Navy]Blue Star[/COLOR][/CENTER]

[I][CENTER]Scene Two[/CENTER][/I]

[B][U][CENTER]Time[/CENTER][/U][/B]

Present. Summer. Afternoon.

[U][B]Setting[/B]: [/U] Inside a florist shop.
[U][B]
At Rise[/B][/U]]: Danielle is standing behind the counter with the register beside her. Anne is leaning on the counter talking with Danielle and playing with a flower. Steven and Gir are moving boxes. A radio is playing 80s music. They are all wearing blue shiny aprons with Blue Star written in silver glitter.
[CENTER]
Danielle:[/CENTER]
[RIGHT]
Sighs and leans on the counter.[/RIGHT]

Today has been so slow.
[CENTER]
Anne[/CENTER]
[RIGHT]
Twirls the flower in her hand.[/RIGHT]

Sure has. I wonder where are all the people.

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Lifts a box.[/RIGHT]

Well if you two are bored you can help us. Shipment just came in.

[RIGHT]Danielle and Anne look at each
Other and than look at Gir.[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Danielle and Anne[/CENTER]

Yeah right!
[RIGHT]
The radio starts to play eurithmics?s Sweet Dreams.
[/RIGHT]
[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Screams and grabs the radio.[/RIGHT]

I love eurithmics! This is so my favourite song!

[RIGHT]Jumps on the counter and starts to dance.

Danielle, Gir, and Steven stare strangely at her[/RIGHT].

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Points at Anne.[/RIGHT]

And that?s the girl you want to marry. You know you can take it back now and plead temporary insanity. Many would believe that.

[CENTER]Danielle[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Hit Gir with a spool of ribbon.[/RIGHT]

Don?t you go ruining everything for them. I bet you said that about us, too. Didn?t you.

[CENTER]Radio[/CENTER]

We interrupt this song to bring a special announcement?.

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Screams at the radio.[/RIGHT]

What could be so important that you interrupt eurithmics?

[CENTER]Radio[/CENTER]

All around the world cats are being stolen from homes, alleyways, and pet store. Who could be doing such a thing you wonder? Well it is an evil mad genius bent on taking over the world. He had been holding the cats? hostage and he have sent his demands to the world leaders. His demands are the world. Sometime earlier he had this to say.. ?If you ever want to see the cats again you will hand over the world to Me..? He than proceed to laugh evilly. What are we to do?

[RIGHT]The group had gathered around the radio.[/RIGHT]
[CENTER]
Anne[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Shocked[/RIGHT]

This is horrible we have to do something.
[CENTER]
Steven[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Looks at Gir and get a devilish grin on his face.[/RIGHT]

What kind of guy wouldn?t want to steal a whole lot of P*ssy?

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Gives Steven a high five.[/RIGHT]

Good one Dude.

[CENTER]Danielle[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Puts her hand one her hips.[/RIGHT]

Come on guys this is serious.

[RIGHT]Gir and Steven frown[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

[CENTER]Puts a fist in the air.[/CENTER]

We should go save them.

[RIGHT]Lights flash and the four takes off their
Aprons and bring out objects. Anne grabs
A can of Scrub?N?Bubbles, Gir grabs a
T-square, Danielle brings out a whip, and
Steven grabs a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs. [/RIGHT]

[CENTER]All[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]They do a flashy pose.[/RIGHT]

BLUE STAR FLOWER POWER!

[CENTER]Steven[/CENTER]

Why did we choose such a girl super hero name?

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Looks at the handcuffs.[/RIGHT]

Aren?t they mine?

[CENTER]Steven[/CENTER]

I thought they were ours.

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Jumps back away from Danielle.[/RIGHT]

Why did you bring the whip out? What did I do now?

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]
[RIGHT]
Looks at the whip.[/RIGHT]

When did you get that?

[CENTER]Danielle[/CENTER]

Oh this old thing. I had it for forever.

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]

Oh!

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

Hey we don?t even know where this guy is. Where could this guy be?

[CENTER]Anne[/CENTER]
[RIGHT]
Gets a weird look on her face.[/RIGHT]
Where else would is an evil mad genius bent on taking over the world be, at McDonalds.

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

Now why didn?t I think of that?

[CENTER]Danielle[/CENTER]

Because you have the IQ badger!

[CENTER]Gir[/CENTER]

[RIGHT]Waits a few seconds[/RIGHT]

Hey!

[RIGHT]Danielle, Steven, and Anne laugh as
They walked off stage. Gir stalks offstage
With a depressed look.[/RIGHT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=Pink]Okay people second scene is up. There s one more part after this. Critism people I want critism, Please. *waves T-Square around*. Thank you!

~MEW~
<((_^)>[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]