Manga ULX goes Manga

[Onix]

[SIZE=1]I have an idea for a manga-style webcomic, that is going to be written by me and (at this point) drawn by Ruby. I just want to know what people think of it.

The Major Characters--

Name: Zeshin ?Zes? Uchiyama
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Appearance: Looks like Xion of Bloody Roar, but younger (obviously). Wears jeans, a dark t-shirt, and a black over-shirt with blue flames at the bottom or a black leather jacket, depending on the weather. Wears a black hat at all times.
Role: The Hero

Name: Lei
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Appearance: Short black hair less then shoulder length, with a ruby red streak. Short bangs that hang a bit past the eye brows. Pale brown skin that looks white and dark brown eyes. Long slender fingers and legs, but with a long scar rounding the whole front above my leg. That goes across <=====> this way, horizontally. Has a curvy body. Usually wears a black skirt that goes 2/4 of the way normally hits a bow and ruffles. A long sleeve red top, tri-point collar, and a pocket on the left hand breast side.
Role: The Girlfriend

Name: Akira Matsuda
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Appearance: Has a short, stocky build, with dark brown hair of no particular style, just cut short. Wears a white t-shirt, generally, and a pair of jeans. Can be seen wearing a camo jacket as well.
Role: The Best Friend

Name: Skye Uchiyama
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Appearance: 5'6", firm muscled, chestnut (dark brown-red with gold streaks) hair that falls to just below her shoulder blades. Hazel eyes, full lips. High, defined cheekbones, sharp chin. Ears pierced twice, in the lobe, then just above it, with aquamarine studs in the upper, and hoops in the lobes. Wears a pair of flare black denim jeans with gold glitter at the bottom, a black tank top with gold glitter wings, and in between, the words(in cursive) Angel, a black jean jacket with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and black Nike tennis shoes. Also wears a dream catcher necklace with a gold feather and black beads.
Role: The Little Sister

Name: Rem Uchiyama
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Appearance: Long dark red-brown hair frames a slightly oval face. I wear rounded gray-framed glasses over my deep brown eyes, and I tend to wear a red hoodie, jeans and a t-shirt with white socks and men's Pony sneakers if there's nothing special I really have to do. I have a medium body.
Role: The Older Sister

Villains

Name: Janyu
Age: ???
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Regular-Tall and lean, with spiky black hair and dark eyes. Wears a black, regal shirt, black flaring pants, and a black silk cloak. Has a very angular, harsh face.
Young-A younger version of himself, dressed in a Goth-style t-shirt and black jeans.
Role: The Main Villain

Name: Lana
Age: ???
Gender: Female
Appearance:
Regular-A very attractive woman, shorter than Janyu, with long dirty blonde hair and dark violet eyes. Wears a revealing, silky black outfit under a black cloak similar to Janyu?s.
Young-Like Janyu, just a younger version of herself, clad in more casual clothing. Tends to wear revealing clothes, like extremely low-cut shirts, hip-hugger jeans, mini-skirts, and the like.
Role: The ?Eye Candy? of the Villainous Five

Name: Balkov
Age: ???
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Regular-Extremely tall and muscular, he is heavily scarred from years of battle, and is bald with pitch black eyes. Wears no shirt, baggy black pants, and a cloak, like the rest.
Young-A muscular teen with short gray hair and dark eyes, he is the least like his real form, except maybe Fenri. He tends to wear muscle shirts and cargo pants.
Role: The Muscle of the Villainous Five

Name: Fenri
Age: ???
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Regular-Short, about Lana?s height, and scrawny, he has a tall mane of dark blonde hair and feral green eyes. His teeth are sharpened and he has several primal tattoos. He wears a black shirt, black pants, and a black cloak like the rest.
Young-Similar to his regular self, but without the sharpened teeth or the majority of the tattoos, though he still has a howling wolf tattooed on his back. Wears ripped black t-shirts and jean shorts with ragged hems. His hair is less mane-like, but still tall.
Role: The Gung-Ho Maniac of the Villainous Five

Name: Falstaff
Age: ???
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Regular-Very tall and lean, almost as tall as Balkov. He has scraggly brown hair, unkempt and stringy. His eyes are slate gray. He wears the same outfit as the others.
Young-Looks similar to his adult form, still tall and lean with unkempt brown hair. Now, he prefers to wear baggy cargoes, often in green, and dark t-shirts, of the brown or green variety. He has a semi-trademark green jacket that he often wears.
Role: The Strategist of the Villainous Five

The Story--

[I]In the beginning of time, there was one force in the Universe. The Unborn. It was the precursor to life, the life which did not yet exist, the non-life that sought to become alive. It breathed this life energy into the earth and other planets, bringing about existence.
The energy of the Unborn still exists, though, dormant inside each life-form.
This is the tale of when it awoke.[/I]
-Book of the Unborn

Zeshin was a normal High School Student. He had friends, a steady girlfriend, and no real problems to speak of. Until one fateful night, when the Unborn Power chose him to be its new vessel.
Thus begins his hectic journey from High-School student to defender of all existence from the foul Villainous Four, the evil forces that embody the Anti-Unborn?The Next Generation, the creature that is determined to wipe the Unborn from all existence and records, taking its place as the true God of Life.[/SIZE]