Lost Friends Over Religion

[White Akita]

[SIZE=3][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Who here, has ever lost friends over your religion because they are scared of it? I personally, have had parents say to me I'm not welcome in their house anymore, because I read a witchcraft spellbook, and have a fancy for candles and anything sharp. Because of a little thing like that, I'm not welcome.

I personally think this is wrong. Because I have my own beliefs, it doesn't mean I'm different than anybody else. I have had a friend litterally shun me out because I used one of her candles, and made one of my own from it, by scratching things into it. I just feel it helps me get over certain dilemas. It helps me "burn away" old desires. But I guess that scares her. Losing friends.....I don't care anymore, but losing the best friends over a religion or belief, thats absurd. :flaming: What do you think?[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[adempton]

I think you're absolutely right, it [I]is [/I] absurd. Being gay, I know what it's like to not get accepted by religion-heavy people and families. But from what you've described, you've been shunned for merely liking candles and sharp things? I can think of a few worse things!! >_<

Honestly though, if a friend isn't your friend anymore because they found out you like to scratch designs into candles, they were never a very good friend to begin with, and you can likely do better. (Although I guess you could have asked to use their candle before etching stuff into it? ^^; )

And if a friend's parents don't allow you to see your friend in their house, see the friend outside of their house. It's extremely silly if that person stops being your friend because their parents disapprove of you reading a book, regardless of its contents... (you know, as long as it was appropriate). I consider that broadening your mind, but I guess they're crazy. o_o Some people have very controlling parents, unfortunately...

Sorry you had to go through stuff like that! :(

[Boba Fett]

[quote name='White Akita][SIZE=3][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Who here, has ever lost friends over your religion because they are scared of it? I personally, have had parents say to me I'm not welcome in their house anymore, because I read a witchcraft spellbook, and have a fancy for candles and anything sharp. Because of a little thing like that, I'm not welcome. [/COLOR'][/SIZE][/quote]

[color=green]Let me see?

Personally, I wouldn?t be too keen on allowing people with a fancy for ?anything sharp? into my house. Combine that lust for dangerous objects with candle-mania, and now you have two possible hazards.

Could be that your parents are very cautious people, or perhaps they are sticklers for proper use of the English language.[/color]

[quote name='White Akita][SIZE=3][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue] Because I have my own beliefs, it doesn't mean I'm different than anybody else. I have had a friend litterally shun me out because I used one of her candles, and made one of my own from it, by scratching things into it. I just feel it helps me get over certain dilemas. It helps me "burn away" old desires. But I guess that scares her. Losing friends.....I don't care anymore, but losing the best friends over a religion or belief, thats absurd. :flaming: What do you think?[/COLOR'][/SIZE][/quote]

[color=green]I?d be more than a little irked if someone began carving something of mine up with a knife?

Maybe you should respect the property of others, and people will have some incentive to befriend you.[/color]

[TheShinje]

It's happened to me before, but I lose friends because[i] I am Christian[/i], and my friends, who were friends before I came into faith (not religion) think I'm going to be all holier-than-thou and shut them out. I'ts actually quite the opposite.

If I'm to follow Jesus' example, that means loving people who are not of the faith, and doing what I can to show those people why I believe (if they want to hear it, of course) There is no room in my faith for shutting unbelievers out, that concept to me, is foreign.

I know that some people of the faith do put on a holier-than-thou act, and, it's hypocritical of them when their own religion clearly teaches them to love unbelievers.

[mckaylyn]

Your religion should not have to do with anything. I have not gone to church for the past 13 years, as my mother is very sickly. This has turned a few people away from me, as I had not told them why. If it matters, they aren't a very good friend anyways.

There is nothing wrong with practicing whatever religion you choose, as long as you do not impose upon others with your ideas.

Sharp things are fun...there is a risk in it, that makes people feel that they are in mroe control. Gosh, people who don't understand that should read my mom's old psychology books!!!

[Ben]

[quote name='mckaylyn']Your religion should not have to do with anything.[/quote]

Pardon me? O_o

Your religion should not have to do with [I]anything?[/I] Perhaps I misunderstood you, but your religion should have a great deal to do with something; like, how you live your life.

One person's religion is what one person believes, isn't it? (Whether they share that belief with others or not does not directly concern this discussion.) Now, a fundamental part of religion is [I]practice[/I] of what it is you believe. If one does not make anything of their faith, how can they claim that it [I]is[/I] faith?

Religion is belief and practice. Your statement contradicts itself. Religion, if it did not have to do with anything, would not be practiced (would it even be believed?) and would therfore not be religion. I can't even fathom what that sort of instance that would be, or could be classified as.

[QUOTE]Sharp things are fun...there is a risk in it, that makes people feel that they are in mroe control. Gosh, people who don't understand that should read my mom's old psychology books!!![/QUOTE]


Perhaps you missed a chapter of the book. Did you see the part where it says how peope react to other people having sharp objects in their presence? Under those circumstances, people may feel threatened. A person with an affinity for sharp objects (a feeling obviously more developed than that in several other human beings) may be regarded with fear, given that idea.

Whether or not somebody understands the intricate nature of the human psyche doesn't really matter. Some people simply [U]do not like[/U] sharp objects. Call it a phobia, if you want. Some people don't like hazardous items that can pierce or tear open their flesh.

I am one of them. :p

Disclaimer: I'm G.R.U.M.P.Y., so there.

[mckaylyn]

Religion should have nothing to do with friendship. I thought by saying anything (as we were on the topic of friendship) would have been clear enough to mean friendship. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

[mckaylyn]

People who like sharp objects need control in their lives. True, even I am wary around knives (especially butter knives, as they have a serrated edge), but I understand that some people need to wield them to feel safe, or in control. It is very much like bulimia or anorexia. They have lost control, and need to either A. cut themselves, or B. wield it to feel all powerful. Cutting is a form of control, that lets people who are inflicting the wounds upon themselves feel in control of their life. I mean, if they push too hard, it's over, at their own hands. They are in control.

Or, if they aren't doing it because of wanting to feel powerful or in control, they do it for some sick purpose of their own (somtimes sick and twisted) reasoning, in their own little world in their head, where they suffer from severe lack (or too much) physical contact, and have been exposed to the outside world (ex - you were locked in a cellar for 10 years then were transferred to New York, or you were transferred from New York to a cellar for 10 years.) Either way it works in some weird way.

[James]

[color=#707875]mckaylyn, please do not double post. I urge you to read our rules page, where you can find further details.

Ben, I think you may have misunderstood mckaylyn. My interpretation was that he was saying religion should have no bearing on your friendship with someone else -- not that religion itself should have no bearing on anything in one's life.

I tend to agree. I am friends with people who have a broad array of views -- people who are very left wing, very right wing, highly religeous and totally anti-religeous. It has never been a point of contention though, because those beliefs are not what dictates my friendship with them. I am keen to learn about their beliefs and understand them, whether I agree or disagree. But even if I disagree, that doesn't change the fact that we may have many things in common...nor does it change the fact that they are a good person and that I get along well with 'em.[/color]

[mckaylyn]

:whoops: :moron: I apologize for the double post, I forgot about the editing option

[color=red][size=1]No worries. Let's keep on topic from now on (and welcome to OtakuBoards, by the way; once you settle in I'm sure you'll enjoy it. ~_^) - James[/color][/size]

[DeathBug]

[color=indigo][size=1][font=comic sans ms]Ironically, I'm listening to Simple Plan's "God Must Hate Me" as I type this.

My mother always told me that in most social situations, the two things you should never discuss are religion and politics, because everyone has a different view, and they hold them strongly.

I've got to agree with the sentiment. If asked, I'll tell people my religion (unafilliated Christian), but I'm not going to make a huge point of explaining my entire belief system, or my political beliefs, for that matter. (Moderate conservative.)

My best friend is Catholic, and one of my other close friends is agnostic. Does this create a problem? Nah. Why? Because we don't spend our time focussing on the differences that divide us. Our friendships are grounded in the simillarities between us and the differences that compliment each other.

I really don't think religion will be a problem unless it's made into one. If you're a true friend, you'll respect your friends' faiths, and vice-versa.

I also find myself agreeing with Boba, Akita. Maybe your friend was more upset by the fact that you damaged her property woithout asking than the fact that you have different beliefs. That's just rude, and shows a disrespect to your friend by disrespecting her property. (Property is an extension of the person.) I wouldn't bat an eye if a friend of mine said s/he was into witchcraft, but if they said they "have a fancy for...anything sharp", then I'd be concerned, especially if they sliced-n-diced my stuff.[/color][/size][/font]

[Oceanborn]

Oh yeah, and [i]no offense[/i] just in case. I do not care much about religion, but here are some pts o' view anyway


[quote]Religion should have nothing to do with friendship.[/quote]
Well... I guess this topic has some sense. I am actually holding a few Allister Crowley writings in my library and I remember myself beeing scolded and my mom almost crying that I'm a queballist. Well, I amen't ^_^. I was actually interested in that stuff around year ago, but I didn't found it that much of interest/fun because higher Queballah consist of actually two things: a) High-level math formulae, which is boring, b) Some kind of faith in it, and looking at the usual self-devoting rites, I considered it rather 1)boring, 2)somehow dangerous, at last some of them. Mr. Crowley lived back in the end of the 19th century, when, for example weed ^_^ like opium et caetra was meant to be really good for health, so there is a lot of things (Grrngh. As long as I started typin' it... Reaches the bookshelf) Aha, should we say, Liber 0 VEL MANVS ET SAGITTAE.

Blah blah blah.. Stand in the position.. blah blahh... Well, should we say "'In both
practice types, everything except the image and the name of the practicants' God should dissapear from his imagination; the longer he shall recover his usual consciousness, the better." blah.. blah.. blah... pentagrams, herbs, blah, blah..
"6. And shalt the practicant reach his limit (when he already cannot fight, his tongue willet be all bitten and blood willet stream out of his nostrils), shalt he fall into the darkness of unconsciousness, and then, when time passes and he becomes himself again, shallet he write down everything he saw happening, oh yes, write dowb everything he saw happening." Well, scaaary?^_^ I don't find the stuff that fun, interesting or somehow useful (These are the base high-level rites in which the 'practicant' should speak with 'angels and demons and beasts of vary' - very interesting (not really) ), so I kinda dropped it.

Actually, I'm not into it, so is there any use saying 'Yo, he's BAD just when I sometimes tell something non caring about religion (You know, I have a friend who is absolutely sure that Jesus Christ is an alien and he didn't really die'n rise up-to-the-stars, but just flew home. Call that weird. He oftern proudly adds that Elvis was an alien to, . Seriously. I burst out laughing when I first heard this)

Oh, I'm actually off-toping. Well, I'd find that absurd too, because, as I said, I do not care much, but [i]anyway[/i], sometimes you must care for people. Like, if I had a best friend who whad true faith in the holy Bible, Trinity an' stuff, I wouldn' recount him how fun was it watching 'Dogma' last evening or that 'Alien Jesus'@_@ stuff. Sometimes you still have to mind other people, because, in any way you don't care, they might do.

---------------
Mayet, this conclude my today's thoughts on this theme, brothers and sisters.
(Mwuhahahahahahahahaaaa!)

You know, Evangelion is not satanic stuff; it's still forbidden by the Church in a few countries.

[Shippou]

i must say that i have had alot of people because me of my religion but not so much that they are afraid of it but they dont belive that i understand it.

but they are full of * i know more about there religion than they know about mine. they are always saying " You don't understand buddhism " but when i try to explain to them that i do they just freak out. I know more about chistianity than almost all of the christians that i know (which is why i don't belive in it) but i don't accuse them and there beleafs.

so why the hate.


Shippou

[Vicky]

[SIZE=1][B]I haven't lost a friend over Religion, yet. However, a friend of mine (who I haven't spoken to in ages) has parents who... don't hate Christians, just... don't like them or something. Though we kept a strong friendship without her parents knowing, and I wasn't welcome when they knew. They might not having anything against me, it might just be something that happened along time ago. But my friend and I kept in touch, but we haven't heard from each other in awhile.

Religion doesn't have anything to do with my friends/friendship. I never really talk to my friends about my Religion, unless they're Christians too. Though, I do act a little "Un-Christian". I used to hang around with a group of friends in my old school, normally getting chased by the staff at shops, or causing trouble on the streets, swearing in between every word, and basically not caring what we did. This went on for years, and we didn't care what would happen to us. Nor did we think one moment about God... though I kinda regret what we did back then. Call it what you want, some call it not-so-Christian like, oh well... (I mean, I used to watch my friends bully the little kids, but I never helped or joined in).

I think Religion doesn't have much to do with friendship. I don't care what Religion my friends are, what they've done, what they believe in, because they're people too, and everyone's my friend if they want to be.[/SIZE][/B]

[Ben]

[quote name='Ben']Perhaps I misunderstood you,[/quote]

Regardless of my new, enlightened view of the topic at hand, I'd just like to point out that I did admit that I was not sure. :p

[Dan L]

I've never lost a good friend over religion- note the word "good".

That doesn't mean "good" has to mean morally sound and perfect, but as someone who actually builds you up and is there for you, that is good regardless of whatever else may be in their lives, and God's grace is sufficient to cover the rest.

However, there are some people who just aren't very constructive at all to one's faith. And often you'd be surprised who those people are. The Pharisees were one example of people who weren't constructive to people's faith, before and after the death of Jesus.

And today, it's often better for your faith to go out and befriend those shunned by the world as "bad" than it is to listen to the words of many a vicar/pastor who is legalistic and faithless. And it can often be better to spend time with the simple who let faith in, than the "intelligent" who just resort to cynicism because it sounds clever, whereas in actual fact it's a constant drain on faith.

I'm not saying people with faith should completely break off any connections with those faithless church leaders, or the cynical people of the world. Some people are a more extreme drain on your faith than others- and it's only really when they are completely against what you believe (as opposed to not really following it) that you should "kick the dust off your feet and leave". But there is a time and a place for cutting off friendships which are damaging to your faith. Unfortunately a lot of Christians think they're in that time and place a lot more often than they really are.

[White Akita]

I'm not really into politics or religion, but When I start talking about it, There is usually a good reason for it. I have been shunned by most society almost, event the people at my church sense my.......difference. I'm not a full christian believer, and I don't fully believe in the religion, give or take a few quirks. Nobody ever wants to talk to me, because I'm very perceptive, see things in a much higher or different level, and everything has a reason. I'm just tired of people acting this way to me. Every step I take is another mistake to everyone I know.

Many of you think that I just took the candle without asking, But i'm sorry if I didn't say anything earlier, but I DID ask if I could use it. She even said fine, you can have it to do whatever. Then she told me to keep it. I even told her what I was going to do with it. She herself used to do it.......But then she turned all christian, and started to turn her back on me. Now she's afraid of everything. Even her own religion. Her father has the gut to call me a witch [ the kind meant for sorcery, not a fasinating girl.], just because I happen to be a more sullen [not depressed] person, and I happen to not show much of my emotion. I love not writing in english either. It gives people a wierd feeling, thus gives me more protection. I have been abused, and this is how I now act.

My liking of sharp things...mckaylyn had a point. I use it to show my place, my rules of my being. I don't meant to hurt anybody, and personally, even though I like them, I am afraid of what they could do. I hate using things to harm anything that lives, yet I love collecting knives and anything else sharp. But you have to realize, I lock them away unless I want to see them out, or feel threatened. Every one I live around tries to gang up on me because of my religion, and my beliefs and views. They start calling me a witch because I like unatural things. I have never had many friends, and losing the ones I do have, It just isn't something I ever thought about losing them over. I have one very good friend though. He goes against his fathers rules, and communicates with me otherwise. Isn't that what a true friend is?

[Terrax]

if you are a true friend it shouldn't matter religion, your friend is into, even if they are a devil worshiper or something freaky like that, you shouldn't just abanddon them because of their religious beliefs.

[Boba Fett]

[quote name='Terrax']if you are a true friend it shouldn't matter religion, your friend is into, even if they are a devil worshiper or something freaky like that, you shouldn't just abanddon them because of their religious beliefs.[/quote]

[color=green][I]Hello, my name is David Koresh. Just because I?m a Christian militant wackjob, doesn?t mean you can?t be my friend.

Hello, my name is Osama Bin Laden. I support killing innocent American civilians because they wont leave Saudi Arabia. Just because I?m a Wahhabbist weirdo, doesn?t mean you can?t be my friend.[/I]

Remember kids, you shouldn?t abandon your friends because of their religious beliefs, even if they are ?something freaky?.[/color]

[mckaylyn]

Just so you know, just because you are Muslim doesn't matter. I am a baptized Luthern, and a Christian, but I am also a friend with a Muslim, her name is Alaa, and her sister's name is Tazneem. They are nice people, and so is their father who is my mom's doctor. You see it doesn't matter the religion, it matters what kind of person you are. Osama didn't have to be a Muslim to be bad...he could have been Catholic, and still turned out the same way. It's the kind of person you are, not the religion, plain and simple.

[wrist cutter]

[quote name='White Akita']Nobody ever wants to talk to me, because I'm very perceptive, see things in a much higher or different level[/quote]

Maybe nobody talks to you because you're so arrogant.

[Guest cloricus]

[quote name='wrist cutter']Maybe nobody talks to you because you're so arrogant.[/quote]

I'd agree. I also do not think it is your belief they are 'shunning' you for, I think it's more related to your maturity, or lack of. I think parents draw the line more on personal opinion of a person than beliefs they hold and I know I honestly wouldn't want kids I may have to be hanging around some one who was being a little prick. (Not that I'm implying anything.)

You might find this following quote insightful as it relates to you directly and every one else who is reading:
[quote]"You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your ******* khakis. You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world." -Tyler Durden[/quote]
(If you have not seen fight club I order you to go watch it, yes now, no excuses.)

[Queen Asuka]

[color=crimson][size=1]I can't say I've ever lost a friend because I'm Mormon. In fact, I have more friends now than I ever have! ^_^ It doesn' t matter what religion you practice, its how you treat other people. If you sit around all day and try to discuss your ideals on God and such, people usually tend to get bored and leave. Of course, if someone has a question, that's one thing, but those who push their religion on others tend to be the ones to be shunned. Those who PUT THEMSELVES OUT THERE. I went to high school with a girl who was "Christian" and yet no one liked her because she took it to the extreme. I just don't like to interfere with other people's business, but that's just me.[/color][/size]

[Guest Midnight Rush]

Akita, being as "perceptive and on a higher level than others" as you are, why didn't you understand? This whole thing seems..er... odd.

On a side note that relates to this topic:

A. If you are religious (or even religiously non-religious) it is part of you through and through.

B. When someone makes a friend, he/she/it decides whether or not to keep the friend based on all parts of the person that they are aware of. Including their religion. This is not to say it is the main factor in all cases, but it is a factor.

I'm Protestant Christian, but have successfully crafted lasting and worthwhile freindships with Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and "athiests". We often discuss religion, but because of tact and sense, bad things don't come of it.

[White Akita]

Ok. Now I'm arrogant eh? Fine, believe what you want, but I'm not that way at all. If you only knew how much more I listen than talk......About the perception, Hey, it's only what I'm told, and I believe it because I understand different things that are hard to infer. ''I don't really know how to explain it in words'', type of things. And I dont think I ever mentioned that I don't understand this concept, I just asked for opinions. So I'm sorry if I sound arrogant. I just hated the way people were treating me, almost as if I wasn't a human.