Sign Up Kill Adam: Volume 2 [R18+]

[James]

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[center]Kill Adam: Volume 2[/center] Welcome to Kill Adam: Volume 2. Before you begin, please be aware that this RPG is [b]rated [R][/b] and is therefore [i]only[/i] suitable for adults and those with some level of maturity. So what is Kill Adam: Volume 2? It is the second half of a saga - a tale of revenge that is only halfway through, but getting closer and closer to its bloody conclusion. Click here to visit the Kill Adam Official Site. [i]Vengeance is not an easy path, as I have discovered first hand. But then again, my life has never been easy. In the beginning I started with a kidnapped son, a lover and a chip on my shoulder. Now I've only got myself. And the chip has grown a hell of a lot bigger. You'd think that killing more half the people on my death list would satisfy me; it has to an extent. But now the number's down to three. Ann Dominion, the Death Adder...and Adam. I might be one of the world's most accomplished assassins, but I know I can't beat these three on my own. I'm going to need some help. So right now, I'm on my way to visit an old friend who just happens to owe me a favor...[/i] [center]How to Sign Up[/center] In this RPG, I am approaching sign-ups in a slightly different manner. This is because, a) the RPG is already in motion -- this is only the second half of a currently existing story and b) the new characters must fit into the existing story. With that in mind, let me explain exactly how I want you to structure your sign-up. Although you will [b]not[/b] be able to create your own new character, you [b]will[/b] be given significant flexibility with the new pre-made characters. There are two characters to choose from; a male and a female. They are [b]Hattori Hanzo[/b] and [b]"The Daughter"[/b]. You can view currently-known information on both of these characters at the [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/killadam/v2"]Kill Adam Official Site[/url], in the "Playable Characters" section. The information that exists there is set in stone; you cannot change it. However, you can go beyond it and mould your own character. The idea is to have multiple people creating their own versions of these characters (based on the non-changeable information), so that one person may be selected for each. To make things easier, I've created specific sign-up fields for each character, which you can find below. If you have any questions, please ask me within the thread (as opposed to PM -- so that others can view your questions). But please [i]do not[/i] post off topic stuff in here. [center]Hattori Hanzo[/center] [b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] You can choose whatever you like; be creative. Remember that this is your own interpretation of the character, based on the information I've provided on the [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/killadam/v2"]official site[/url]. [b]Age:[/b] Hanzo-san can be an old man or a highly gifted teenager, it's up to you -- but be sure that your choice gels with all the other elements (the rest of the sign up and pre-existing info). [b]Appearance:[/b] You can provide your own image, or you can provide a description. You may also want to include any unique mannerisms that Hanzo-san has, if you like (in other words, be creative). [b]A Sample of Hanzo:[/b] Okay, this is a part of the sign-up form that will differ from what you're used to. Let me try to explain. Considering that I have constructed a few basic outlines for what Hanzo should be, your job is to fill in the rest. But filing in stuff like weapon, age and appearance just isn't enough -- I need to know that you can roleplay as Hanzo too. So what do you need to do? Basically, I want you to write a paragraph or two of your own invention. It could be Hanzo-san training an assassin. It could be Hanzo-san having a fight with someone. Or it could be nothing but dialogue between Hattori Hanzo and someone else. In a sense, it's totally random; it doesn't have to relate to Kill Adam at all if you don't want. The purpose is just to see you "in action" with the character - to see you actually "play out" a scene with [i]your[/i] version of Hattori Hanzo. Remember, it doesn't have to be long. It just has to be darn cool. ~_^ [center]"The Daughter"[/center] [b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] Same deal as above; think about who Yasuo's daughter is. Think about her history, think about her dialogue from Volume 1. All of that stuff may help. ^_^ [b]Appearance:[/b] Again, we know her age and we know a bit about her demanour...now you have to consider how she actually looks. You can use a picture or a written description, same as with Hanzo. [b]Sample of "The Daughter":[/b] You have a bit of an advantage here, in the sense that we've already seen this character have a very limited discussion with Joshua in Volume 1. And again, we know a bit about her past (there are hints at what her father made her do, and so on). So, of course, it's wise to make sure that your RP sample gels with all of that -- and that you take it into account. [center]Kill Adam Official Site[/center] Visit the link above to check out the official site. It will provide you with background info on new characters (which you'll require) and it'll provide full details on how to use HTML in your posts and how to use the Jukebox. This stuff isn't so relevant now, but it will be when the RPG begins. [center]A Final Word[/center] I can only end this sign-up thread by saying that I [i]hope[/i] I've explained everything clearly enough. I understand that some of the elements here might be different to what you're used to, but I strongly encourage you to give this RPG a go if you're interested. Please be aware also that it strongly helps if you've seen Kill Bill (which this RPG is somewhat based on). And, above all, you will [b]need[/b] to have read Kill Adam: Volume 1 (or at least most of it) to understand what's going on here. This isn't the type of sequel where you can just start from scratch as such; you will need to be aware of the other characters and you'll need to understand the context that the new characters are in (so you'll need to be aware of the chapter that involves Yasuo's daughter -- specifically, it's in a blue-coloured post on the second page of Volume 1, written by Shy). Most importantly though, this is all about fun. Don't feel afraid to sign-up, just because of the pre-existing stuff. If anything, this makes your task easier (so you don't have to fill in [i]everything[/i] about the character). And just remember, there are only two characters to sign-up for. So everyone is "bidding" for the character they want. It's [i]not[/i] a first-come, first-serve situation here. The person who I think best represents each of these characters will be accepted into the RPG. Again, as always, please ask questions within this thread (but please do so responsibly; in other words, don't spam it up), so that I can clarify anything that you have problems with right now. Have fun, and good luck!

[center][url="http://www.myotaku.com/james"][img]http://www.otakuboards.com/jamesimages/j_logo.jpg[/img][/url] [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/killadam/v2"][img]http://www.otakuboards.com/killadam/ka_icon.jpg[/img][/url][/center]

[JJ]

Luckily for Hanzo, the car?s driver side door flew open on contact, he rolled out of the car and into a small cave. He stayed there until he heard the police cars leave. As he rolled out and surveyed the damage, he pulled out his cell phone. He placed the call to the employer and told him that he needed pick up, and the job was done.

Weapon of Choice: Hanzo-san is an assassin. And like all assassins he carries around a silent, but deadly weapon. His choice is a little bit different though. When working on a job Hanzo-san carries a bow and arrow. Using these allows him to craft his own weapon, and supply the ammo, so no one is the wiser when he is the killer. For the Adam job though, Hanzo-san has decided on another weapon. It is a machete, but with a twist. It has the curve, but the blade is covered with little blades that protract from all around. When a certain button is pressed the blade thins out and turns into a rubbery cord. It can be used as a whip, but the small blades stick out. So when Hanzo-san swings it around, the blades cut into the skin causing even more pain. Age: 28 Appearance: See Attachment. Other than the pants this is the usual attire of Hanzo-san. For some jobs, he wears a dark trench coat over the attire.Usually he has his bow and quiver strapped to his back, but now his machete is slung on his back. A Sample of Hanzo: This was a basic operation. No body guards, no alarms, just a dumb old man that had pissed off the employer. As Hanzo began the climb up the roof he noticed that there was a light on. He silently cursed his unpaid attention to the ground floor only. He continued to creep up the roof freezing at every creek the house gave. Finally, he quietly crept up to the sunroof over the old man?s bed. As he crept closer he pulled his bow off of his shoulder. He then grabbed an arrow and slung it into the string. He then set down on one knee and began to aim. If this shot was off, he would be discovered and arrested. He finally found the spot and began to pull back. Checking his position once more, he let the arrow fly. It flew with a grace of sorts. This was the moment Hanzo savored most. As he heard that familiar thud that signified that the target was hit, Hanzo got up. These next few minutes would be crucial to his escape. He slowly walked back to the place in which he climbed. He then jumped off the roof, pulling his legs in and putting his head in between his legs. He hit the ground with a quiet thud. He then proceeded to get up and walk back to the car. To him it was the easiest hit ever. Then, he heard the siren. He cursed allowed and threw the car into reverse and pulled into the road. He threw the car into forward and hit the gas hard. His black Audi threw him back as he sped towards the cliffs. As he turned and twisted between the cliffs he thought he heard the faint sound of police sirens. As he moved his rear-view mirror he saw them. He quickly sped the car up even more by pressing the gas down to the floor. As he shot off he realized that if he didn?t plan his turns just right, he was dead. He calculated the turn radius of the first curve and jerked the wheel to left, then right. The car almost did a one hundred eighty degree turn as it sailed through the turn. The cop cars only looked closer as he stole a look through the mirror. He again calculated the radius, but failed to see the sign. The car flew into the turn, but hit solid rock. The car flew into the railing almost like a ping pong ball. It flew over the edge and plummeted into the dark lapping sea below. When the police cars got there they found no evidence of the car at all.

[Zidargh]

The styles include the traditional form of 'Karate' and 'Aikido'. 'Persona' was a highly renown agent, armed with a pair of silver and golden axes. A skillful agent that was known to take great pleasure in killing his foes.

[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] Throughout the many years the Hanzo name has existed, it has always been thought that firearms were dishonourable and cowardly due to the unfair power a firearm can have and still take affect from a long distance away. Hence, Hanzo-san refrains from using guns of any sort, regardless of whether or not he is carrying out a job. Instead, Hanzo-san uses a pair of what are known as 'Tiger Knuckles'. The shape of a single 'Knuckle' consists of a steel arc which curves round to the top in both a left and right direction, only to then overlap, leaving two curved points. On the bottom of the circle rests a wooden grip with a leather strap to avoid cutting the palm open when being held. With one Knuckle in each hand, the wielder is a formidable opponent allowing both power and agility to be used effectively. The Hattori family have always been familiar with martial arts in some way or the other, and so is the current Hanzo-san. Trained in many styles from a child*, Hanzo-san knows how to use the body as a weapon. [b]Age:[/b] 52 [b]Appearance:[/b] Obviously, the man originates and has lived in Japan for the majority of his life, and so has the oriental-look of a Japanese person. Standing at about 5ft 10", he isn't the tallest or most intimidating of people, but this is the average height of a near-elderly Japanese man. With short black hair, tinted with natural grey highlights from age, you would not pick him out as someone 'different' in a culture that has grown into pop-culture where fluorescent haired teenagers dominate, but he would seem almost 'traditional'. He has aged rather well in which his cheek bones are still defined and the skin hasn't been cracked with hundreds of wrinkles. Of course there are many signs of aging, but he has learnt to live with it and accept the fact that you can't change the flow of time. The clothing that is usually placed on his slim, yet muscular body consists of black formal trousers and a white top that imitates that of a uniform commonly used in a martial arts dodo. When training a student, he wears the traditional Japanese wooden sandal, with two one inch heels placed on the sole of the sandal, meaning he stands taller when training. However, common 'slip-in-then-out' sandals are what are worn when outside, due to the custom to leave shoes outside when entering a building. Hanzo-san has also grown a thin moustache that reaches just below the sides of the upper-lip. [b]A sample of Hanzo:[/b] [center][i][b]Somewhere in Yokosuka...[/i][/b][/center] "Get up!" Yelled the man dressed in a drill uniform, as he walked over to the black suited man cowering on the floor with cracked sunglasses. As he began to walk, the wooden floorboards creaked with age, becoming louder until the aged man slammed his foot down, causing a floor board to break and his foot to fall through. "Fool. Do you expect someone like [i]Persona[/i] to show you mercy?" "N-N-No, sensei." Stuttered the suave looking man as he dragged his legs towards himself and sat up after wiping off a little blood trickle from the side of his mouth. "Then why lay there like an idiot!?" Questioned the teacher with a hint of anger in his voice. The student flinched as soon as the question began. "You are obviously in the state where you would defect if they held a gun to your head." "But sen--" "You dare to question what I do to help you survive in your career?" The teacher bent his head towards the student with his hands held behind his back. The anger had obviously been channeled enough for it to dissapear. Without answering immediately, the student turned to look to his side. The room that he had been scolded in looked like a typical dojo. Inside was dark with a single light hanging over head. The walls were made out of wood except for one made of the typical paper used in a wall that held a sliding door. There was no telling what this was used for, but it was definitely noticable when the winds caused it to crackle. "Well!?" The student's head jolted forward and turned back to meet with his sensei's stone-like glare. "No, Hanzo-san." With that, Hanzo offered his hand which the student took, and then pulled him up only to walk backwards about 10 paces away and hold his hand out, gesturing him to come to him. "Again." The student lowered into an attacking posture with his fists at each hip. He then made a charge at the teacher letting out a cry as he threw his right fist towards the head. Hanzo-san immediately released both of his hands and caught the fist with his left. "Come on." Hanzo-san provoked almost playfully. The student then gritted his teeth and attempted a blow with his left fist, this time aimed at the stomach, only to be caught again. Growling in frustration, he kicked at the waist and pulled his fists free. Only to send his right fist soaring again. This time Hanzo-san pulled the hand, sidestepped and slammed his elbow straight into the chest of the student sending him flying straight through the paper wall. The suited man landed on the forgiving pile of snow that was waiting just outside which answered why it was always cold in the Dojo in Winters. "Good." Hanzo-san placed his hands at his back and grinned once again. "Another pawn to send to Adam. The family name will be removed of disgrace at this rate."

[ColourDeaf]

Take them out, by any means necessary. That was Kid Tao's mission...

Weapon of Choice: Hattori carries a pir of kama, a short wooden pole with a short blade angled perpendicularly to the handle. Both are inscribed with a small yin-yan. Age: 32 Appearance: Hattori had one of best known faces in his...circles. Broard, harsh-featured, ugly. Full of character, but already showing signs of many hard knocks. Hanzo had never bothered with even the simplest cosmetic touches, to more his face towards...well, rugged, if not actually handsome. As far as most people knew, the thought had never actually occured to Hattori.. He was short and block, well-muscled by choice rather than neccessity, and so broard chested that in the right light he seemed almost as wide as hew as tall. He wore his jet black hair in a short military cut, mostly so he wouldn;t have to bother with it, shaved when he remembered and had a brief but flashing smile. He'd only just reached his early thirties, but aready there was about him a certain graitas, that made him seem older, wiser; more dangerous. He wore his business suit sloppily, and there was always a button or two left undone, but he never looked one inch less than utterly professional. He had large, heavy-knuckled hands that were never far from the weapons at his hips. He looked...competent,. No matter what the challenge, hattori always looked like he knew exactly what he was doing. Sample: He rolled the cigarette with the skill of a terminal nicotine addict. ?That stuff will kill you, you know.? ?You are in no position to say [i]what?s[/i] going to kill [i]who[/i]? Hattori mentioned absentmindedly, paying meticulous care to the paper and tobacco in his hand. Somewhere, a rat scuttled around in the dark. Hattori Hanzo stood up, pressing the cigarette in between his lips and reaching into his pocket. As he walked towards the other person, he drew out a lighter and flicked it on, setting the end of the rizzler aflame. The other man struggled against the handcuffs that shackled him to the chair. Hattori drew deeply on the cigarette and blew the smoke out, slowly. He crouched until he was eye-level with the shackled man and cocked his head to one side, a crow inspecting a corpse. He smiled suddenly and reached inside his jacket and pulled out a small book, dog eared and well-thumbed. ?Do you know what this is?? ??a book?? Hattori sighed and brought the book around sharply, smacking the man on the cheek. ?It?s a rhetorical question. This is a copy of the [i]Tao Te Ching[/i]. It?inspires me. I mean,? he pauses and flips through the book briefly, before running his finger down one line. ?He who has virtue is like a newborn child, free from attack by those who dwell in the way of nature, the way of the Tao it?s beautiful, don?t you think?? he draws another drag on the cigarette and points the book at the bound man. ?That passage is a [i]personal[/i] favourite of mine. You see, I find it?justifies my business. If you were a man of [i]virtue[/i] I, being one who ?dwells in the way of nature,? would not be able to hurt you. But since I [i]can[/i], it means you are not a man of virtue, and thus need to be eradicated, and fulfilling my-my?my?position as a sort of?karma police.? There was a knock on the door. Hattori grinned, stubbed his cigarette on the man?s forehead (drawing a scream of pain), and drew one of his kama, turning on the door. ?Well, let?s get down to business, shall we??

[Zen]

I've Been Looking Forward To This... Along with her skill using oriental weapons, Kyoko is also a skilled exponent in the art of Wing Chun Gung Fu, Tai Chi Chuan, and Okinawan Wado-Ryu Kara-Te. The Butterfly Knives are also know as Butterfly Ogres. The blades are around 12 inches in lenght and its a strange site to see "The Daughter" weilding two when the blades are about as long as he forearm. The Tassle at the End of the Tai Chi Sword is used to distract and sometimes even hypnotize the opponent. Kyoko has made it a priority to learn how to do this. The Kamas used by "The Daughter" were especially created and crafted with a sinking counter weight in the handle. When thrown, the Kama has a boomerang effect if in the case it misses the opponent or does not become lodged in them. The reason Yasuo distanted himself from Kyoko was not out of cruelty or neglect, but out of concern for her personal safety. Steps echoed threw out the "Den of Snakes". Deep within the large mannor, echoed the footsteps of a single woman, following close by was a quite and small statured servant, looking at the floor as he trailed behind her. The sound of the woman's high heels clicked and clapped as she stepped, as the servant shuffled his feet to a walk. Slowly, they approached a class case, within it, was a sword, scabberless and the blade revealed. It shone with a beautiful glint. "Tell me, Hideo." "Yes my mistress?" "You say that you have a well knowing of swords, correct?" The servant knodded. The woman pointed towards the blade in the glass case. "What does that symbol stand for?" For seconds, the servant simply shuddered his breath, staring at the blade. "Well..." "T-that blade, madam... that is the sign of the Lion" "Meaning?" "T-thats the symbol of the Hanzo clan..." "Hanzo..."

[size=3][B][U] "The Daughter"[/size][/B][/U] [B]Weapons of Choice:[/B] Not particularly liking weapons of any sort, opting to use unarmed martial arts instead, Kyoko is still a dangerous exponent of some chosen oriental weapons. A skill that proved valuable for the young woman and daughter of a powerful crime lord. She often times found herself having to defend herself from being taken hostage, by both Interpol, Japanese Police, and rival Yakuza bosses. She made sure that her favorite assortment was available to her in some way, some how, even though she rarily carries ones upon herself. Often times having her bodyguards carry them for her, if not she has them stashed away in her vehicle or dwellings. The weapons she uses plays well with her petite and light body type. Usually as light and flexible as Kyoko herself. Thanks to this, she has never had to rely on raw power, something she doesn't possess, at all in combat. She is especially talented with dual weapons or light weight swords/knives. This has led her to mainly opt for traditional chinese or japanese weapons. Heres a short list of her favorites: [U]Wing Chun Butterfly Knives (Used In Pairs)[/U] [img] http://library.thinkquest.org/C0112643/images/butterfly-knives.gif[/img] A traditional chinese Gung-Fu weapon, it originated as a butcher's chopping knife. Nowadays, they are short-bladed knives typically used in pairs in Southern styles, namely Wing Chun. The top of the knife is turned forward so that the user can flip the knife around their thumb. Aswell, the lifted lip coming from the guard is used to disarm opponents with longer, more stiff weapons, such as katanas or bo staffs. The weapons used in pairs often times have an advantage over single weapon users because it has a free blade after the opponents blade is captured in the lip. [U]Tai Chi Sword (single)[/U] [img]http://library.thinkquest.org/C0112643/images/tai-chi-sword.gif[/img] A two-edged straight sword that is only sharpened near the tip. Oftentimes an unsharpened sword is used, and in some cases a wooden one. The Tai Chi sword is used to perform delicate movements that develop fluidity. But in the case of "The Daughter", the blade has been sharpened on both edges to allow the user to cut the opponent to the point of having hundreds of small incesions on the opponent, leading to loss of blood and limited manouverability. The blades flexible base allows it to bend and almost wrap itself around stiffer weapons and objects. This ability also alows for tricky stabbings. [U]Japanese Kamas (used in pairs)[/U] [img]http://threedragons.com/kamas/kamas.jpg[/img] The Japanese Kama is a weapon primarily used in pairs, used for quick stabbing and cutting. The weapon's light weight provides great speed to be used and is often times swung by the wrist and elbow rather than the shoulder and full arm. Quick spinning and suprise attacks often catch the opponent off gaurd and the curved blade aswell helps to capture weapons and spinning around the opponent for a back attack, or stab. The Kama is also useful for throwing at the opponent much like a hatchet. [B]Physical Description:[/B] Kyoko is a generally petite young woman. Her body is thin, and light. She stands at an almost short 5'5" and weighs in at 120 lbs, most of which is due to her height and amount of muscle which, instead of providing strenght, provides speed. She has a pale skin tone, typical of most Japanese girls. Her hair is dark black, short cut to the top of the neck where it comes into styled spike-like edges, threw her hair she has crimson highlights for fashions sake. Her face is round and lush with beuty. She is usually wearing a comfortable amount of make up to hide her pale cheeks and lips, which are usually colored with peach lip gloss. She wears a dark eye shadow to make it look as though her eyes stand out more, the eye shadow nearly resembles face paint drawn around the eyes. Her eyes, are a stange color of green, resembling emerald. She usually dresses in a classy mannor. Either designer suits or an elegant dress. Her favorite color is crimson, so that is in the mannor she usually dresses. On the bridge of her nose, she wears rectangular shaped glasses that have no rims. They are tipped on the bottom of her nose, and she usually looks at people from above them and under her eyebrows. No one knows if she truely needs to wear the spectacles, but she is usually seen wearing them. Many speculate it may be just to add another layer to her mystique. None the less, the glasses seem to add onto her beuty by amplyifying her stunning eyes. All in all, her appereance helps to hide her true identity. Rather than looking like a crime lord, she lookes as though she is a business woman or just regular teenage girl from a rich family. And so, attention normally isn't drawn to her. [U][B]Origin of "The Daughter"[/B][/U] The average sixteen year old girl receives a car or a wad of cash on their sixteenth birthday, to signify their growth into adulthood. But then again, Kyoko, better known as [B]"The Daughter"[/B] was no average girl, nor was her family average at all. Born into one of the biggest crime families in all of Japan and the Orient, Kyoko received ownership of her father's cartel, personal bar/headquarters, and massive enterouge (aswell named the "Den of Snakes" or simply "The Snakes") much do to the fact she inherited it due to his death at the hands of an assassin, known as [B]"The Cowboy"[/B]. Yet again, not being the average girl, she showed no apparent remourse to this fact, even though the murder occured before her very eyes. The story of[B] "The Daughter"[/B], and to the point of which this has happened is a sad one, filled with violence, anger and hatred. Very few know the details of the girls past. Clips and bits of her 'legend' are shared by those in her trade. But, her story will start from the beggining. As a child, Kyoko didn't think much of the occupation her father took upon. Even though she was a bright girl, she only thought that her father was as he lead her to beleive, a respectful white-colored business man. That explained mainly why she was sent to a private and elustrious academy for schooling, and why she enjoyed the finer things in life. For this, she loved her father very much, even though she rarily saw him on a regular basis. So Kyoko grew closer to her mother. A beautiful woman with a knack for swords and weaponry. She was Kyoko's first real teacher in martial art, her mother insisting she learn the arts to be 'healthy and strong'. The then naive young girl thought nothing of it, and took to the arts with great interest. She soon came to master her body as a weapon, even at her young age. Many considered her a prodigy, especially her father who was beggining to have thoughts about their relationship. It was Kyoko's eleventh birthday, and her father had not given the girl what she had expected as a gift. Instead of a new wardrobe or a barrel of jewelry, he offered her something she both wanted, and feared. A spot at his side in the seat of the number one crime lord in Benten, Japan. Naturally, the truth was hard to except, but over a short time, the always bright, young Kyoko adapted to this new truth in a way that surprised and astonished her father... It was that day forth that Kyoko became infamous as [B]"The Daughter"[/B] aswell as a target for kidnap and hostage taking. On three occassions, [B]"The Daughter"[/B] was kidnapped and taken hostage, and each time, it was played out the same way. Know one knew how, but it always ended with a blood-stained young girl walking out of a room or building filled with dead men and women. This fact only stenghtened the bond between father and daughter, for he knew he could trust her more to protect herself. At the age of 13, Kyoko was even sent as mission leader to major deals. Never wanting to dissapoint her father, Kyoko carried out all of her jobs with great success. [B]"The Daughter" [/B]was soon a dreaded name. Kyoko had became her father's most trusted assassin. She carried out her missions with great success, with out remourse for the acts she had committed. The girl was mature beyond her years, with out fear, she entered her missions, and with undaunting success.[B] Boss Yasuo[/B] was so proud of his daughter, the most feard assassin of the [B]"Den of Snakes"[/B], his pride was unbearable. But their relationship would soon change, without the knowledge of [B]Yasuo[/B] himself. It was an afternoon after a successful deal (Kyoko had stopped going to school for sometime), Kyoko had come home. Entering her beloved dojo studio, she found a horrifying sight. Stabbed threw the chest and pinned to the wall by a japanese sword, was Kyoko's beloved mother. Blood still fresh and wet, her clothes dripped the crimson liquid all over the floor. It painted the wall that her mother was pinned to. And on that same wall, was written one name, hundreds of times. [B]Adam, Adam, Adam[/B]. The name was familiar, as if she had heard it on a few occasions simingly unrelated. It was an associate to her father apparently. But Yasuo had never spoken to her about him with any importance, so the name was trivial. Who was this Adam? And what did he have against her mother? After informing her father in a panic, the once fearless and logical assassin known as [B]"The Daughter"[/B], fell into depression for a full month, secluding herself in her room alone. As she assumed, this [B]Adam[/B] had been found and properly dealt with, but she had found out by herself, that her father had actually done nothing about it, seemingly ignoring the incident in full. To [B]Yasuo[/B], Kyoko's mother was just a distant and unimportant memory, and this had infuriated her. From that point on, the girl slowly plotted vengeance against her father, a man she once loved dearly, was now a prime target for her hate. This considerably tore the logic of [B]"The Daughter"[/B], but not to the point of which she was unable to consider the risks in this attempt. She would wait, long... untill her father and her were alone, and the time was right. Then, after he was done, and the [B]"Den of Snakes" [/B] cartel was her own, she would take revenge on her mother's life, and [B]Kill Adam.[/B] The time never came, as [B]"The Daughter's" [/B]vengeance was taken by another. A man she knew only as [B]"Cowboy"[/B]. An American assassin who aswell had a vendetta against [B]Adam,[/B] concerning his love child with another assassin who formally worked for [B]Adam.[/B] She knew that man well,[B] "Desert Taipen"[/B], an assassin with a powerful reputation and a deadly blade. Kyoko was sympathetic to the two assassin's cause, and aswell they had helped with disposing of [B]Yasuo[/B], and granting her leadership of the [B]"Den of Snakes"[/B]. But dispite this fact, she was slightly frustrated with the fact she did not kill her father. That, she could forgive. But one thing was certain, she would [B]Kill Adam[/B]... even if she must dispose of them on that path.... [B][I]"In The Game Of Life... Not Everyone Plays Fair."[/I][/B] -[U]"The Daughter"[/U] [B][size=3][U]Sample of "The Daughter"[/B][/size][/U] There lay the limp body of yet another fallen double crosser. A man, his hand still grasping the clean wakizashi he failed to use, effectively atleast. The man actually wasn't unattractive. A sharp and handsome face with a fit body. May they have been under different circumstanses, she may have been interested. But doing wrong to the wrong people gets people in this condition. Kyoko sighed, as she looked down to her white dress, and fresh streak of crimson slashed across the waist and down the frilly skirt, the smell of blood looming towards her nose. She would most deffinetetly have to change clothes. [B]"The Daughter"[/B] waved her hand outward, and quickly three bodyguards rushed over to the body and carried it off to later have it disposed of, a trail of large blood drops followed them. She then handed her own weapon, a now crimson stained Tai Chi Sword to another bodyguard, who turned and placed it in a breifcase after cleaning it's blade. The local harbor was beggining to accumilate quite the population ever since Kyoko took charge. She'd soon have to change that location or police would get suspicious, not that it really mattered so much. She had the connections to have them turn a blind eye and deph ear. She then turned towards the hall way, which led to her quarters in the large bar/club that was the [B]"Den of Snakes"[/B]. A place she had come to call home ever since she was a child, she grew up in the shady business place and came to know it better than her own home. She made her way down the finely decorated hallway, ligned with rice paper kanji scrolls of poetry and water-painted rice paper doors, each leading to a different chamber of the [B]"Den".[/B] Candle light and shadows flickered on the thin doors, creating accurate silhouettes. Half way down the hall way, a deep, old voice called out to Kyoko. She turned, to see standing in the shadows, Kazinada-san. A higher up in the[B] "Den of Snakes"[/B] clan, and a former protegé and trusted ally of her father. The closest thing to an uncle Kyoko was going to get. The light of a thick cigar lit his face as smoke billowed from the tip. "You know, Kyoko... I will never understand you." Kyoko's face grimaced slightly. She disliked people calling her by her first name, but she allowed it to slide due to the man's social status and value. "Why is this, Kazinada-san?" "Because, Kyoko. When a double crosser and traitor of the Den is brought to you, you do nothing apart from fighting them. You put yourself at risk and exhaust yourself rather than simply have them executed or tortured. Why is that?" "Because, Kazinada-san. I rather not kill a prostrate man, for it goes against my honor. It aswell, rises the Den's honor and pride." she replied with a smirk. "Honor? Pride? Kyoko, we are called the 'Den of Snakes' cartel. We know no honor or pride, only victory and success by any means neccessary." "I realize this, 'Phython'. But that is exactly why I do not have a snake-alias, and that is why I run the order so much differently than my father." "You Foolish Girl! You are crumbling the foundation me and your father built and created with blood and steel! Ever since your rule, the Den has seen a major downfa--" Kazinada's words ended as he felt the tight grip of Kyoko's hand around his throat and adam's apple. She looked into his eyes without emotion, just a blank stare. "Listen carefully you half-witted, full-hardy twit! I am not a snake. I am not a creature that slither's on its belly and strikes in blind spots. What I am, Kazinada-san, is the[B] 'Snake Charmer'[/B]. And I play my game by deploying these creatures. But I will not lower myself to the level of my pawns..." Kyoko stopped her words as she watched Kazinada's hand slither towards his pocket for a concealed knife. She quickly dug her finger nails deep into the sides of his neck and jerked her hand forward, causing his adam's apple to rip from his neck and throat. Blood splashed all over Kyoko, almost like a shower of crimson water. The thick liquid destroyed her simply stained dress and colored it a dark red. Kazinada's limp body fell to the floor as Kyoko dropped the detached organ on the floor. "Kazinada-san. May your soul go with these words. I charm the snake for my bidding, but I make sure it is known who is the master, and who is more powerful... and that is why the snake-charmer kills its disobedient pawn. To teach the others... what lies in store for them." With that, [B]"The Daughter"[/B] stepped back and turned opposite as she began walking towards her personal quarter in the Den once more. As she walked down the hall way, she muttered these words. "The snake charmer has high patience for action, but no tolerancy for disobedience." With these words, she continued her walk, whistling an up-beat tune and dripping a trail of blood in her path... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [size=1] Easy ways to spot members of the [B]"Den of Snakes"[/B] clan and their individual ranks has to do with the different ritualisitic and physical signs on their bodies. [B]Low Ranks:[/B] Start out with first having a tattoo on their forehand depecting snake-scales to show they are a "Snake" and belong to the Den. [B]Middle-Low Ranks:[/B] After raising up slightly, the member goes threw the process of having their tongues ritually split in two sections at the tip to signify they have they speak the language of the snakes, and they have enought knowledge of the Den to freely find Den Sanctuaries of different cities. [B]Middle Ranks:[/B] As the Middle rank is reached and members are sent on missions rising in difficulty, in which self protection and assassin skills are needed, they have a dental surgery down where their canine teeth are filed to a point, signifying they carry the venom of the snake, or the snakes bite. [B]Middle-High Ranks:[/B] This is the rank at which one receives their snake alias. This name describes the man, in their actions in personality. When this happens, that snake name is tattooed in small Kanji across the right cheek of the member. [B]High Rank:[/B] Few reach this rank. Those who due are the elite of the den. They go threw the process of having these words burned onto their back, showing they have gone threw out the full process and all of the stages of becoming what they are: "Scale of the Viper" "Tongue of the Adder" "Fangs of the Phython" "Hood of the Cobra" "Mark of the Snake" [/size] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Starting with[B] Boss Yasuo[/B], every member of the[B] "Den of Snakes"[/B] has gone threw these precedures to signify the fact that they are snakes, or members of the Den. But [B]"The Daughter"[/B] simply could not bring herself to be labled as 'a snake', or even labeled as an equal to those around her. She hasn't gone threw any of this, opting to keep her body clean. To her, that itself symbolizes something. She is not the snake, she is the[B] "Snake Charmer"[/B], the true power behind it all. Due to this, she has been questioned as a leader, as seen above. But all who questioned and defied the[B] "Snake Charmer"[/B] have been crushed without a second thought. That is the one personal rule that [B]"The Daughter" [/B]always follows... [I][B]"As The Pawn Never Questions The King.... So Does The Snake Never Question It's Charmer..."[/I][/B] [U]-The Daughter[/U]

[James]

[color=#707875]Wow, very impressive guys. I had no expectation that anyone would use in-thread HTML yet, but the fact that you did shows that it all worked out okay. Cool.

I just want to add something that I forgot to mention in the initial sign-up post -- I strongly recommend that if anyone uses the WYSIWYG post editor, that they turn it off when they copy and paste HTML into the thread. This is because the editor is a visual editor and it will wrongly interpret various things...as a result it can kill the HTML. So yeah, the basic or standard editors are probably fine for HTML-insertion.

Again, good job to everyone here so far. This thread will be up for about a week, so everyone has plenty of time to add new sign-ups and/or edit their existing ones. [/color]

[Bio]

[url="http://www.otakuboards.com/killadam/v2/music/track7.html"][b]Track 07: Can't Hardly Stand It[/b][/url] [center][/center] He always liked chess. Chess, he said, was like a good battle. - [i]One must make well thought-out moves and consider all variables, otherwise they will be easily evaded.[/i] Strategy, strategy. Too much planning. I find it rather hard to formulate strategy when a sword is about to remove my head. It would certainly make my mind clearer, though I'm not sure I can afford it. - What of adrenaline? It bogs up the mind, and acts with instinct. Sometimes that is good, sometimes it is bad. Every detail of my surroundings became etched in my mind with him in the small, windowless room; the flickering candle that lay innocently on the low table, the color of the cushion I was on, and the pattern on the rug beneath me. A sense of deep foreboding fell over me. What about my calling him could be amusing enough to make the stoic man I know grin? How many times have I even seen his face light up? Many, I admit, but he never seemed satisfied. What is he playing at? What cruel game has he in store? Clean the slate. Everything must be fresh and new. A clean slate and a clear mind... Forgive me. I had no need to speak; my eyes said it all. Betrayal, lies. I will not tolerate such insolence from this man. He must redeem himself. What are my demands? Truth. [center][/center] Is this man only playing with me? How long will my weapon hold against a Hittori Hanzo sword? I must avoid his blade. It seems my foreboding was not unfounded. Will I die here, I wonder? - [i]Appearing cool and collected will make the enemy insecure and act rashly.[/i] If the enemy thinks that you're not worried, they will become paranoid, and think you have a plan... Even if you don't. - [i]Deception is key.[/i] Make the opponent think you're going to do one thing, then do something completely different. I greatly dislike this game. - Checkmate, Hanzo. Well played.

[font=verdana][size=2][font=tahoma][b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] [url="http://img2.imagetown.net/21143318.jpg"]Zanbatou[/url] Hanzo forged this weapon himself, and as it was for his personal protection, spent months designing and perfecting it. However, he wasn't content with the normal length of a katana, and so he decided on the zanbatou: a thicker, longer version of the normal samurai blade. [b]Age:[/b] 34 [b]Appearance:[/b] [url="http://img42.photobucket.com/albums/v130/Archetype777/mugen01.jpg"]Headshot[/url] Hanzo wears a simple white cotton gi and cotton, khaki pants. Partially hidden by the pant legs are wood and leather gaters. Hidden by the gi's sleeves are matching armlets. The most obscure thing about his dress, however, is the large zanbatou that is usually sheathed and mounted on his back, and in his lap while he is sitting. He stands at approximately 6 feet. [b]A Sample of Hanzo[/b] "You came." I said as respectfully as possible, but left a hint of playfulness to let him know I hadn't called on him this time just for business. There was no answer. "I wasn't expecting you to make it," I continued in the same tone, "After all, I had requested your presence on such short notice." I waited. Suddenly, a silhouette was visible through the paper door. I composed myself, brushing back a stray strand of hair and shifting to a more elegant stature. The shadow reached for the edge of the door, and began to slide it open. Hittori Hanzo looked at me with a glint of mischief in his eye, and proceeded towards me in his signature loose gait. "Please, sit down." I invited as I stared into his eyes. He stood unmoving for what seemed forever before slowly taking his place in front of me with his back to the door. He was staring back at me with an unwavering gaze. "Juri-chan, why have you called for me?" he asked sincerely. I checked to make sure that my concealed tanto was still there by lightly patting my thigh. "Hanzo-sama, I..." I couldn't seem to find a way to word what I was trying to say that wouldn't sound disrespectful. "You promised you wouldn't deal with him anymore," I said with newfound confidence, "It has been a month now, longer. You haven't severed your connections with him yet." He grinned again. "I have no way of breaking away from him. You should have known that." he said simply. A blatant disregard for my feelings. I gave up on being respectful, and slammed my hand on the table. "Then why did you not tell me that rather than lying to me?" I asked boldly. The amusement was washed from his face, replaced by displeasure. "Juri, I am not required to deal with idiocy," he told me coldly, "I let you believe what you did because it was simpler than your self-pitying tears." "Do you not care for me?" I asked weakly, tears forming in my eyes. He sat like a statue, his answer engraved in the stone of his face. [i]Impossible.[/i] It happened within a second, the blades met and slithered along one another, my tanto meeting at the hilt of his monstrous zanbatou. My attempt to free him had failed. How he had drawn it so quickly I'll never know, but there he sat. Cool and composed. The only part of his body that had actually moved was his left arm, the one that was descending the gargantuan blade closer to my head every second. I had to get out from under his blade quickly, before my skull was cleaved in half. I slid my shorter weapon slowly up Hanzo's, and eventually reached a crouching position. As quickly as I possibly could, I leapt out from under his blade, it's edge coming down sickeningly close to my shoulder. The slowness of his arm was what I was depending on, but it seemed he was faster that I had thought. I twirled quickly so not to be caught off-guard, and when I was facing him once again I was holding a metal bo staff. I dropped to the ground and brought the staff around from my back to gain leverage, intent on taking out his knees. Not to my surprise, he easily leapt over my poor attempt at disabling him, and pointed the wicked sword downwards while airborne, obviously planning to tear through my torso. In great fear and instinct, I rolled to the side and thrust my weapon at him, it sliding neatly along the dull side of his blade as it plunged into the floorboards. He had moved his body to the side, completely evading what I had thought of as an ingenious maneuver. If I were to move my staff to the side the assault his torso, I would be vulnerable to the wrath of his blade. If I moved, I would be dead. We stayed in that position for quite a long time, him crouching on one knee, I on my side with my staff beside him. I was not expecting him to make the move. Possibly his only morale, his golden rule was the most basic lesson: let the fight come to you. And this is why he is a better fighter than me. The unbelievable pain ricocheted through my hapless body like sonar, bouncing to one end and going back to the other. I don't know if I vomited. He had brought the blade up through the floorboards with a tap of his foot, and possibly his arm, though through his gi no strain was visible. The weapon had ripped into an uneven area of my left side. When I looked up at him in unquenchable anger, I knew I was as good as dead. The zanbatou was resting blade-up on his shoulder, meaning it had to have cut clean through me. It was dripping crimson blood onto him every now and then. He didn't seem to notice. He was simply staring at me quizzically as if he were asking, 'why did you do that?'. To me, he seemed sad. He may have cared for me more than I had thought.[/font][/size][/font]

[James]

[color=#707875]Cool. I just want to post [i]another [/i]reminder here, before I forget; when you are adding Jukebox items to your post, please remember to include [b]target="_blank"[/b] in the href tag. This ensure that your Jukebox opens up in a new window ('cause I clicked Bio's without thinking and it took me away from his post, to the Jukebox).

There's plenty of time to get that working and stuff, so it's no problem, but it's worth mentioning at this point I think.[/color]

[DeadSeraphim]

[I][SIZE=3][U][CENTER]The Daughter[/CENTER][/U][/SIZE][/I]

[U]Weapon of Choice: [/U] As explained in Kill Adam Volume I, Kyoko was her father's most trusted bodyguard. As such, he had her trained in the use of hundreds of deadly weapons (swords, guns, polearms etc.etc.) from about age ten onward. However, since her father's death at Jamie's hands her skills with most of these weapons have dulled, as she found that most of them were too impractical when attempting to regain control of a clan, whilst simultaeneously fending off assassins from others. Having said that, their is two weapons that Kyoko truly adores, almost to the point of obsession, those being the taser (which is a more recent addition to her repertoire) and the boomerang. The taser is a more practical weapon, as it doesn't kill its victim. Kyoko has found that the dead share no secrets, so finds it useful to keep her victims alive, at least for a little while, to divulge what they know. Of course, the taser has been modified so it can give an exponentially greater charge at the flick of a switch, making its usefulness in battle more obvious. The boomerang, however, is a different story. This weapon -- imported by her father from Australia and modified at his request upon its arrival -- is unlike any other in the world. Unlike other, more conventional, boomerangs, it doesn't possess blunt edges, instead having it taper into a thin blade on one 'arm' and a very softly padded handle on the other (this, contrary to popular belief, doesn't hamper the boomerang's flight, or at least not this one's). Kyoko bares scars all over hands from her first experiences with it, when she would catch it on the wrong arm. Thankfully, her father only sharpened it to its flesh slicing, bone-cleaving sharpness AFTER she had become reasonably competent with it.

[U]Appearance[/U] Kyoko is a very stereotypical Asian teenager, with pale skin, long, dark hair and small breasts and hips. She is not very tall, standing at a diminutive five foot, and weighs even less than her size would advertise, at only 77 pounds. This, however, means nothing, as it is her eyes that give her authority among the Den of Snakes. Piercing blue and incredibly emotionless, a staredown with Kyoko is likely to leave a grown man quaking in fear. Kyoko dresses like an American teenager, and can be seen, usually, in some combination of jeans and top. However, for formal meetings with other clan leaders, she will either wear a sharp business suit to match her associates, or a formal geisha costume, which she detests with a passion, mainly due to the the profuse amounts of make-up that go with the get-up. She hates makeup. [U]Sample of 'The Daughter'[/U] It had been many long months since she, Kyoko, had gained control of the clan, waging fierce street battles with those who would question her right to rule in her father's place. She had slain them all, her face impassive as her lethal boomerang sliced through their necks, or her taser sent so much charge through them to melt skin. They were nothing to her, mere cockroaches under her foot, as all men were. Sitting in the traditional Japanese drawing room her father had had built for her, she surveyed the scattered paperwork before her with a contemptuous sneer. It all dealt with bribes (police and judicial) and drug deals. She shouldn't have to deal with this. She should be following up her lead on Adam. 'Chiro!' she shouted, summoning her father's former advisor. At once a short, greasy-looking man entered the room, his movements fidgetty and quick. 'Yes mistress?' he queried. Kyoko pointed to the documents splayed on the lowset desk before her. 'I would like you to deal with these,' she said. 'I have a matter of great importance to attend to.' She made to rise, but Chiro's hand pushed her down. 'But mistress, it is your duty as the head of clan to survey and pass judgements on these documents.' The contempt in which he said mistress was not unnoticed by Kyoko. 'Please, finish this before you go out and play'. Kyoko's eyes flared. She had never seen her father attend to these matters once, and this man's foolhardy disrespect angered her. Narrowing her eyes she said, 'As your mistress, I command you to follow these orders then. With-hold all bribes, and cancel any drug trade in progress.' Chiro's eyes were wide. Who did she think she is this woman? 'And if it isn't done before I return, I will see to it that you are killed.' With arrogance rightfully earned, she rose and left the room, knowing full-well that Chiro's head would have left its shoulders before the sun rose the next day. As she drove out of her father's, no her, estate, she thought back on the events of the past few years. Her father's rise to power in the Benten drug trade, the slow, subtle breaking up of her parent's relationship, and, what seemed to be the worst biproduct of it all, her mother's murder at her father's hands, at the insistence of none other than Adam. Adam was the one who convinced her father to kill her mother, Adam was the one who held her head in place as her father plunged the knife into her heart, and Adam was the one who convinced her father to train her in the arts of killing. It was all Adam's fault that, today, she was a ruthless, heartless monster and she hated him for it. A loud bang behind her broke her out of her revery and she looked behind to see Chiro tailing her, almost bumper to bumper, occasionally ramming his large, imposing truck into her tiny hatch-back. When he noticed her gaze he visibly faultered a moment, before picking a gun up from the seat next to him and leaning out the window, keeping one hand on the steering wheel at all times and firing with remarkable aim, given the circumstances at her driver's side window. '****' Kyoko cursed, swerving about the road as the bullets flew by her face. She braked hard and, heard a crunch as the two car's bumpers connected and pushed her's slightly forward. Looking out her window she could see Chiro lieing inept on the road, thrown by the force of the impact. Retrieving her taser from her small handbag, she flicked it to the highest voltage available and got out of the car, walking slowly over to Chiro who lay spread-angel on the asphalt. 'Please forgive me mistress!' he whined as she approached. 'I was temporarily insane! I could not control myself!' The tazer crackled slightly in the still night air as Kyoko got down on her haunches and stared at the man, her viscious blue eyes locked on his. 'Please forgive me Chiro,' She said ironically as she brought the super-charged weapon to his neck. 'I'm temporarily insane. I can't control what I'm doing!' With that she plunged the small device into his soft flesh watching with sick fascination as the voltage ran through his body, melting his skin at the point of contact and frying his brain. She felt for a pulse but found none, then, just to make sure, took his head in her hands and twisted it sharply, snapping his neck and ensuring no chance of survival. Rising from her haunches she inspected the damage on her car, pronounced it usable and hopped in to follow up on her lead.

[Dragon Warrior]

Heh. It's taken me from the moment you posted this thread 'til now to plan this post smoothly, but the time has come :) Sorry it's long. As I said, once I got going, stopping wasn't an option. But I found a way to curve my streak ;)
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[b]Weapon:[/b] Hattori fancied blades more than his own brute strength and trusted himself more in fencing and similar tactics than with his own physical abilities (martial arts), so despite what his father had taught him, he took the path of blades. He varies with all sorts, but his choice weapon are cleverly hidden blades that are concealed in his sleeves. At his own will, they will transpire, ready for the dicing.

Aside from those, he is also equipped with small daggers for throwing into the hearts of his opponents. If anything, though, he uses his most common weapon: an umbrella or cane. Sounds curious, yes? Though they appear harmless, either one could contain a deadly sword blade or gun in their stock. Underestimating these items meant death.

[b]Age:[/b] 25

[b]Appearance:[/b] Naturally, he has the looks of an Asian mobster, his appearance sleek and cunning, his brow enlightening others with his attitude and mood. He has black hair that is much longer than you?d think someone of his stature would have, it reaching down close to his shoulders. He?s usually dressed as if he were a gangster of the 1930?s, a clean-looking gray suit that even in times of a conflict stayed clean from blood and dirt alike. He always looked classy thanks to his rich inheritance from his father, not to mention his own doings in his business of choice. His fedora matches his suit without any unsightliness, a deep red band above the rim circling all the way around the hat. He dons a cross on a chain wrapped around his neck. He says he prays for the souls he kills. He even has those chic shoes that are shined to the edges and so much wax covers them that any blood spilt would simply roll off without grievance.

He?s not too tall, as aren?t many Asians, stereotypically, but his size overcomes this. He isn?t built like a muscle man, but his stature is intimidating at times, especially when you?ve fallen victim to his umbrella sword. His height and weight are limited, but many were not wise to underestimate this factor.

To top it all off, he has an eye patch concealing his accident. It envelops his right eye socket where his eye use to be (obviously), always scrutinizing those who were in his range of sight. The accident was unfortunate, yes, but it did not stop him from his compelling business as a strong partner in assassinations and mobster work. Even with one eye, he still can calculate how exactly he?ll kill you, then do it with ease.

[u]Facts on Hanzo and Others[/u] His Aston Martin was taken from a recent quarry named Judi Menfus, a crime lord from London. After Hanzo personally took her out, most of her wealth was inherited by him. Lucky break, eh? The umbrella gun, being Hattori's most common weapon for quick assassinations, was an idea given to him by a good friend of his, Jackie Tennor. Sadly enough, Jackie turned on Hanzo because he was greedy for money for his idea. This quickly ended in the death of him at the hands of Hattori's men. Only Hanzo knew it was Jackie's idea for the umbrella gun. He's always told everyone else it was his. Sly. Hanzo rarely went out on assassinations by himself unless he was sure the quarry would fall easy. This businessman was no exception. Hanzo had an eye for the strengths of others, which was one reason he went into the business he was in. Most businessmen working in deals with Hanzo and people of his sort are jumpy. Who wouldn't be if making one simple mistake costs you your life? But Hanzo tends to be generous. He wasn't a murderer for no reason. For a man of his business, Hanzo kept his cool. He was a big shot, but learned to live a little. He was also mercilful. Most of his partners called that weak. Finn Zarrow is a past business partner of Hanzo's. Though Finn does dealings with Hattori, he never actually committed to illegal crimes like Hanzo. Finn was still feared in the business world and was backed by Hanzo's mob. Messing with him meant bad business for Hanzo. That equalled bad news for the assassins. Finn eventually made a bad deal himself, dropped away from Hanzo secretly and changed his name. He started a business elsewhere to hide from Hanzo's wrath. Though Hanzo knew where he was and had chances to kill him, he had mercy on the guy. Many believe Finn still runs business near Hanzo. This simple phrase "I trust everybody; I just don't trust the demon inside" was a quote the infamous Finn Zarrow said before the deal that cost him everything. Sadly, his demon inside wasn't to be trusted neither. Hanzo recognized the hair stuff. "Larry's Grease" was the product, a name not too appealing to people who actually had class. Obviously, Jaden lacked as much class he did a sense of smell. Pew! Jimmy the Rat is a famous character often used in gangster movies and tales. He's also called Jimmy the Snitch and has been known to tattle-tale on those he befriends. He usually doesn't end up too happy because he's also usually found out. Jaden is similar in these ways, mostly in looks. Jaden has been around the mobster business for thirty years, though he doesn't look a day older than twenty. If anything, he uses his money to keep him young. He started his wild life as a male stripper. Obviously from his "misgiven" looks, he didn't succeed. But he did do that for ten proud years. Add those years plus the ones for mobsters and of course his childhood and... woah... how old is Jaden? Jaden's sly antics always wind him up in trouble. The reason he has lived to this day is because of his team of mobsters that travel with him. They weren't around tonight and a small handgun was Jaden's only companion. Ill fate. Hanzo, aside from his swordfighting, is a reasonable gunsman. His aim isn't always accurate, but his speed from martial arts has proved a powerful ability. He's entered many dangerous shootouts held illegally downtown. He's never lost. Because Hanzo is so mercilful, he feels sickened when killing another. But this low-gut feeling never stopped him from finishing a job. He fears it may someday, though. Hanzo believed in our God Almighty. He believed there was a place for everyone after life, good or evil. All one heaven, never a hell. Though he despises everyone he kills, he'll wish them luck on the path to traverse to that holy place.

[b]Example:[/b] Hattori had parked his slick new Aston Martin adjacent to the Albator Bridge that crossed over the lucid waters of Halzo River. It was all in the vicinity of some commons that were normally live with the hubbub of enthralled tourists or children at play. But not tonight. Tonight it rained. It wasn?t terribly pouring out, but the falling waters did bring a slight chill to both the air and the mood of the setting. The sun had set hours ago and the park lit up like a Christmas tree with lights veiled among the greenery. The venue grew very gloomy, though it still kept an enchanting aura to itself. A simple-minded man stumbled into the square as if He himself sent the man there to prove life still existed on Earth. He appeared drunk, for his steps had gone astray and he staggered to the cement sidewalk numerous times before eventually hurling away his troubles into a nearby trashcan. A intoxicated businessman, nonetheless. Hattori scrutinized all this from his car, grinning to himself mischievously. He had found his quarry of the gloom-struck evening, even if it were some fool who had hit the bottle unwisely in a local bar. How ill-fated for him that those sorry, vomit-covered patrons of that tavern were the last mugs he was predestined to see. What a misguided fate indeed. Hattori grabbed a simple umbrella from the backseat and slinked out into the park, immediately shielding himself with his cloaked weapon. He was charmed to see the businessman venture to a park bench, out of breath and out of sorts. But Hattori was losing both time and patience, two things he never really had from the start. He wanted this done. It didn?t take long to cross the clean-cut lawn of the commons. It was a simple park for the simple folk. That was all. Tonight it served other purposes. A dark, malicious purpose. Hanzo wasn?t ashamed to admit that neither, since he?d be the one dipping his fingers in the wine of misdeed. Killing another man was just another walk in the park for him, no pun intended. It was almost amusing to Hanzo to gracefully make his way to his prey, vulnerably sitting and awaiting his untimely death that he never knew was coming. It was like the world was working exactly how Hanzo wanted it to. It was almost effortless in his mind. The businessman wasn?t even aware of Hattori standing before him until Hanzo made a declaration. ?Out a little late, are we?? This comment made the man jump as if he didn?t expect anyone to wander the streets at this time of night. (With people like Hanzo out it may be a smart idea). ?Hanzo,? he managed to say. His Mexican accent stuck out like a soar thumb. Hattori knew of his origins and the businessman knew of Hanzo?s, but it wasn?t where they were from that mattered at this time; it was who had the most power. Most business involved that factor. It was a step through the door to success and if you tripped on the threshold, the door may slam in your face and be locked. ?What are you here for?? the man managed to gulp. Fear was in his voice and was as palpable as the booze he had consumed previously. Hanzo disregarded the putrid scent that accompanied the businessman?s words. ?You knew it was time,? Hanzo said, his voice dark and quiet as ever. For whatever reason, Hanzo was always calm. A drop of sweat on his brow was as rare as Martians invading our fair cities. It didn?t occur. ?You can?t mean--? ?I do,? he interrupted gruffly, but kept his cool. This man had class about him. The businessman had lost his at the bottom of a glass. ?Who sent you?? the man said uneasily. He gulped before speaking again, ?Was it Finn Zarrow? I told him I?d pay as soon as I could.? Hanzo sighed and sat down on the bench beside the trembling drunk. His actions triggered the businessman to move as far over to the other side of the bench as possible. If he were to move anymore, he?s break the armrest and tumble to the sidewalk. ?You know I don?t work for anyone but myself, Jaden,? Hanzo said with ease. He had his eyes closed as if he could see through his eyelids. His smug grin painted across his face as he stared to the cement ground, giving the impression to be watching a few leaves caught in the breeze. His mind was so tranquil, even in a situation of business matters that could possibly end in a lost life. Hanzo didn?t expect the life to be his own. In fact, he was definite that it wasn?t. The man, now revealed as Jaden, was sweating profusely and had his eyes darting every which way. He was scanning for anyone to assist him. But he knew it was a lost cause. He directed his gaze on the eye patch, which had haunted his dreams to this date. He appeared to be thinking before he spoke, a wise decision to make around a man such as Hanzo. ?You lie,? he said with insecurity. He anticipated a quick blade to his torso for that remark, but felt surprised when a chuckle emitted from the depths of Hattori?s throat. ?You don?t trust me, Jaden?? ?I trust you, Hanzo. I trust everyone; I just don?t trust the demon inside.? He said this seriously, his mood quickly changing to a dash of confidence. Hattori liked this. He had to of since his smile grew more generous than ever before. He was an alright guy if you played your cards right and stayed on his good side. It was a big risk to say such a statement to Hattori Hanzo. For the first time that night, Hanzo looked Jaden over for a more closer inspection. Like most of Jaden?s thugs and partners, he had his black, greasy hair slicked back to up his class. Even as a drunk, it made him look superior to most common folk. (Though in Hanzo?s opinion, a bum could make more of a profit than Jaden if he were tossed a bag of money and directed to a board meeting). Though Hanzo detested that nasty hair stuff. He?d made countless notes to himself that if he ever had to wear it, he?d wash his hair a thousand times to get it clean. It smelt appalling to boot. Jaden also was small. A tiny man that you could relate to Jimmy the Rat. Though he was a big businessman, he mostly got his money off of what his partners did. (This being one reason why Hanzo?s thoughts of the bum made sense). Hanzo knew this guy was good for nothing, especially money wise. If anything, he was a waste of it. One simple reason the man had to go. Hattori did know very little about him, but at the moment, Jaden was a target for his gun. He was getting in the way of business and it isn?t a wise decision to allow that to linger. Things must be done. Immoral things. Hanzo stood up and walked out a ways onto the soft grass that gleamed from the water of the sprinklers and the light of the lawn lamps. He carried the smug look and turned back to his adversary. ?Okay, Jaden, I?ll get straight to the point. We?ve been dealing business together for quite some time. You?ve been around these parts longer than I have.? Hanzo stopped for a moment to withdraw his umbrella. The rain had stopped moments before. ?But you?ve been losing your game, Jaden. And if you lose yours, I lose mine. It?s all one big, lucrative family.? ?I know you?re a reasonable man, Hanzo,? Jaden pleaded. ?We can work this out.? Hattori held up a hand and hushed him with his minimal-and at this moment, creepy-chuckle. ?The time for that has passed, my friend.? Hanzo began fiddling with his cross necklace, the sensation of the holy metal in his fingers causing him to feel more secure. ?I?m afraid your time has passed as well.? Jaden knew this was it. Why didn?t he kill Hanzo while he sat next to him? He had a gun and Hanzo was defenseless. But he missed his chance. That was it. Not only did the fat lady sing, but she left the stage for the buffet line. Then again, it didn?t matter. Either he took Hattori with him or he died a coward. ?I?m afraid,? Jaden managed to mumble, passion teeming in his tone, ?this is where you meet your end, Hanzo.? Like a madman, he jumped onto the bench and stood up. No sooner had he done this than he leapt from the woodwork at Hattori and revealed a hidden gun from his jacket. He never even got to pull back the hammer. He lay sputtering on the ground, blood gushing from the side of his forehead. If your eyes were trained, you would have seen the gunfire from the tip of the umbrella. But no one?s eyes are trained to see that. Hattori walked over to his fallen foe, the same smirk crossing his mug that never left it from the start. Though Jaden was coughing up blood immensely, he heard the dreaded footsteps of his enemy approaching. He turned his head slightly only to cough some more blood onto Hanzo?s shoes. What do you know? The blood really does run right off. ?I knew you?d pull something like that,? Hattori grimaced. For the first time that night, he didn?t smile. If there was something Hanzo didn?t laugh at, it was death. Death wasn?t a humorous matter, at least not in his eyes. He kept his eyes trained on his victim who managed to lift an arm up as if to punch Hanzo, but they both knew the strength wasn?t in him, or the bravery. ?Why? didn?t you trust me?? Jaden choked, blood splurging onto his business suit. Hanzo shook his head at the disgusting vermin. ?I trust everyone; I just don?t trust the demon inside.? Jaden?s eyes opened wide as if these last words did him in. His pupils grew tiny, his color fleshed out, and his head dropped to the cement. Hanzo kissed his cross and walked away. Rest in peace, Jaden.

EDIT: That was fun :D

[Mimmsicle]

Track 03: L'Arena

[size=4][b]"The Daughter"[/size][/b] [b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] [u]A blowgun-spear[/u], strapped to her right thigh. A few darts soaked in various poisons and lethal drugs are embedded in what appears to be simple [u]charm bracelets[/u], one on each arm. They are often mistaken and admired for being beautiful jewellery but are in fact a deadly accessory, much like ?The Daughter? herself. [b]Appearance:[/b] ?The Daughter? is a slender girl, measuring up somewhere at 5?2. Her strength does not show in bulky muscles, but that?s not to say she can?t pack a punch and add a one-way ticket to the morgue with it. She always wear skirts, cut shortly above her knees, to access her weapon easily. The short black hair shimmers in dark and ambient blue, depending on the light. Her eyes are crystal clear green, which has been said to sometimes be as hypnotizing as those of a serpent. Idle gossipers, mostly employees who feel overlooked and begrudges her elevated position, have claimed that she is the reincarnation of a mystical creature, an Asura (demon). They say she was reborn with ancient rituals and her sole purpose in life is to bring down misfortune (and death). This rumour has been [secretly] endorsed by her father, who takes much pleasure in having produced such a magnificent heir and bodyguard. Through many years of disciplined training in martial arts and gymnastics, she?s acquired the talent to appear completely relaxed in any situation. That ease has made many a men (and women) mistake her for being harmless. She knows of the advantage behind the power of underestimation and uses it to its full potential. [b]Sample of "The Daughter":[/b] She stared down at the dead body of yet another fool who had tried to challenge her father. This one was the same as all the others, offering no challenge, igniting that suppressed thought of why she had to do this over and over again. From the moment she realised what her fate had in store, what this role forced upon her meant, a deep seated hatred had begun to grow in her heart. Hatred towards the future, her tumultuous past and the man ---. Her mind was not allowed to slip for more than that, as a hand was placed on her shoulder and Yasuo spoke softly, almost lovingly, in her ear ?That?s my girl. You serve your father well?. Reminding herself of the loyalty she owed him for the time and effort he had invested in her (for putting her through endless hours of brutal and degrading training supervised by various demanding and sadistic sensei?s, for ordering her to carry out the meaningless slaughter that would ensure the growth of the clan and for the trust he put in her to keep them both alive), she pushed back the treacherous thoughts swarming in her mind. It was not time to rebel and break away, not yet... As she turned and looked into the eyes of her father, she noted that there was something different about them tonight. The charismatic sparkle, that always played there when he witnessed her handiwork, had darkened to a foreboding menacing glare. The two stood opposite one another for a brief moment before Yasuo removed his hand and walked past her. When he reached the door, he hesitated slightly. Her fathers? odd behaviour was disturbing. Had she not done right by him ? Was her performance tonight not satisfactory ? ?Father ?? He moved his hand to the doorknob and stated indifferently ?You will make the perfect gift to Adam?. Her heart skipped a beat at the realization of what had just been said. But before she could fully grasp what it meant and respond in any way, Yasuo had disappeared into the shadows of the dark alley beyond the door.

[Zen]

[color=green][size=1]


Just a notice to make. I have drastically added onto my sign up as [B]"The Daughter"[/B]. Much of which includes the fact that I posted a "Sample" or Short Story veiwing her immidiate personality, and aswell, I added a tid bit about how the [B]"Den of Snakes"[/B] is operated (aswell as the rituals the members go threw). That, though is just something I put in just incase I am chosen as the role. If it is unncessary or isn't needed/wanted. Tell me and I will rid of it. But it was mainly to help amplify her concious thought of being the [B]"Snake Charmer"[/B] and not a snake in her own right. Aswell, if my origin story is inappropriate or misleading to the story, please tell me and I will fix it, or rid of it.

Again, please tell me if anything should be changed or rid of.


Thanks,

Flux[/color][/size]

[James]

[color=#707875]I think it's worth noting that these things are getting longer and longer. If something is [i]too [/i]long, it risks becoming disjointed or unfocused.

Granted, I haven't read these yet -- I'm still waiting to receive more. But it's something to watch out for.

Aside from how good your English is, or how long your posts are...what will impress me most are your [i]ideas [/i]for the character you have chosen. If your ideas are sound, the other stuff isn't so important.

So yeah, I just wanted to make those comments. Don't feel that you need to add to it over and over again during this coming week, to make it more impressive. The length will be whatever it needs to be - depending on how long it takes you to establish an identity for your character.[/color]

[DDG]

Whew, I've been working on this for the past few hours with absolutely no idea of what to do for my character that hasn't already been done but now I've finished it! So, I hope its satisfactory. ^_^

Track 10: Summertime Killer

Weapon of Choice: Two small blades, each about a foot in length. She practices daily with her blades to keep from becoming 'rusty'. Always wanting to be prepared, she sharpens them after every encounter, whether the encounter resulting in the death of the opposer or heavy damage towards them. The swords are sharp enough to cut at the slightest touch, making them a formidable offense and hard to defend against, the blades almost being able to cut another sword in half with one good hearty slash. When the swords are dull, however, they're offensive side goes down, making them better suited for defense. Making Kyoko most vulnerable after she's had a fateful encounter with an opponet and hasn't had time to sharpen her blades yet. Each are both held and carried in a small leather loop attached to the belt around her waist. Each blade is placed on opposite sides, allowing Kyoko easy access to them both. She fashioned the belt and loops herself after failing to find one pre-made by someone else that suited her needs. Blades: Her blades look just like that, only there are two of them and there is no decoration on the handle and she only sheaths them in their sheaths every once in awhile, preferring to keep them at the ready at all times. Click the thumbnail for a larger image. Belt: The belt is very similar to Kite's from .hack. Only the belt loops on Kyoko's are much smaller. Click the thumbnail for more examples.

Click here to view the front of her kimono and click here to view the back. If Kyoko's blades fail her or she loses them, then she will resort to using the chopsticks in her hair as a last resort. Despite looking like normal chopsticks, they have sharpened ends, perfect for the puncturing of the human flesh. This cutting also seems to be a way for Kyoko to express her emotional pain. Since she has repressed her feelings, she has much emotional pain bottled up inside her. Not being able to deal with this emotional pain, she turns that pain into physcial pain. She cuts herself as a reminder that those who are weak get hurt and to relieve her emotional pain and turn it into something she can better deal with.

Appearance: Kyoko's casual dress attire consists of a floral blood red kimono. She often wears her hair up in a tight bun with chopsticks holding the bun together. Her skin color is a very pale tone and she refuses to wear make-up to hide that. She has bright blue eyes that seem to leer out at you in the darkness. She's normally seen with a somber expression on her face. She speaks with an expressionless tone, having no need to express her true emotions in the kind of life she's been forced into, she represses all of her sadness, despair, anger and any other emotion she finds that might be expressed at that time. All of this pent up emotion is sure to come out one day, whether Kyoko wants it to or not. Kyoko prefers to do most killings for her fathers former clan herself. Click here to view how she looks while dressed for a stealthy kill... Her hands are also covered in scars from the constant practicing with her blades. Most from when she was younger and she had just received the blades, while she was still learning how to use them. The scars are constant reminder of what happens when you are unskilled and untrained. As she's grown older though, the scars of her youth have began to fade away. Feeling that if she had no fresh reminder of what happens to the unskilled/untrained, she purposely cuts herself every once in awhile.

Sample of "The Daughter": I want Adam dead and anybody who gets in my way will die as well. Nobody will stop me from getting my revenge with Adam. He killed all those who I loved and held close to me for so many years of my youth. But all of that changed the day that he had my father kill them all. My mother. My brothers and sisters. He had Yasuo kill them all. And for that, he will pay the ultimate price. Those were the normal thoughts of a girl with a vengeance. A girl who had been raised by a loving family, a family of whom she could trust and care for. But that all changed when she nine years old. She witnessed it. It was gruesome, horrifying. Her father, standing over her mother, stabbing her over and over again until blood was pouring from everywhere and Yasuo was standing in a large pool of blood. He had the look of a madman. He enjoyed killing them. But we can't forget Adam. Oh no. He was there, too. Watching, grinning madly as Yasuo killed them. Killed them all. He would have killed her, too, had Adam not stopped him. Adam had saw a glimmer of potential in her. He had his eye on her to become one of Angels. After Adam had left, Yasuo granted Kyoko with her first weapons. Her two swords. She would have destroyed them, had she had the chance and the willpower, but, alas, they seemed to be the only bond that she and her father had. Because of those swords, she spent more time with her father than ever as he trained her in the art of Martial Arts and Sword Wielding. All of that in her past now, as she reflects back upon it, she wishes that her father had killed her. That Adam hadn't stopped him. That he hadn't saw that glimmer of potential in her. If she had died, right then and there, so long ago, she wouldn't be faced with this difficult life of killing. She wouldn't be running her father's former clan. She wouldn't be plotting her revenge against Adam... --- These thoughts, these memories, they always seemed to invade her mind while she was waiting for the perfect oppurtunity to strike; the perfect oppurtunity to kill her target. They seemed to come to her at the most inoppurtune moments and ruin her concentration at times, but she dealt with them and each and every time she thought them, her dislike, no, her absolute loathing and hatred for Adam grew. Her wanting to kill him and finally have the satisfication to have gotten her revenge increased as time and time went by. But she needed to stop all this thinking. Her target was approaching and now seemed the perfect time to attack. She removed her weapons from their homemade sheaths; their blades glinting in the moonlight. She held the rubber grips firmly as she bent her knees and moved forward a few steps so that she was standing on the edge of the small rooftop she was crouching on, ready to spring, just as her target came into position. As he took one final step forward, she sprung. Her feet pushing off the roof's edge and her body flying expertly through the air. She hit her target dead on. Her blades came down and slammed into the man's skull, penetrating it. The blades pierced it all the way down into his brain, killing him instantly. She let go of her blades as the man's body fell to the ground; blood spraying from the wounds atop his head and splattering all over Kyoko. She took joy in the satisfication of this simple kill and savored the feeling of the warm red liquid as it dripped down her body and formed a small pool below her, adding to the larger pool that was forming around the man. She had acquired this joy from her father. It was a joy she disliked afterwards but loved during which. It was a love that would barely quench her thirst to the love of being able to kill Adam. She sighed before placing her foot against the man's skull and grabbing both her blades. She pulled them out and sheathed them, having successfully accomplished her task. Now all that was left was to return home... --- I swear Adam. That you will not be living for very much longer as long as I'm around.

I've been working on this since 10 AM and its 2 PM now. I do believe that I am done with it, that it is absolutely to my liking...

[Brasil]

My sign-up.

[img]http://img48.exs.cx/img48/5350/KillAdamVol2DaughterSign-UpImage3.jpg[/img]

[Ben]

[FONT=Arial][CENTER][U][B][SIZE=4]"The Daughter"[/SIZE][/B][/U][/CENTER]

[B]Weapon of Choice:[/B] A pair of unique hybrid weapons. While functioning much like the [URL=http://www.gungfu.com/pics_general/pics_weapons/weapons_traditional_yuanyang_razors.jpg]Yuan Yang Razors*[/URL], the addition of [URL=http://www.freewebs.com/benjimon/Spiked%20Handles.JPG]spikes*[/URL] around the handle and the curved metal of a [URL=http://www.chinavoc.com/kungfu/images/hook.gif]hook*[/URL] on the longer end lend these weapons a greater ability to control. Blade weapons may be directed elsewhere if caught between the [URL=http://www.freewebs.com/benjimon/Spiked%20Handles.JPG]spikes*[/URL] . Likewise, the hooks can catch certain attacks and effectively ensnare the weapon. With the incredible dualism inherent in these weapons, they function not only as hooks, but again, as [URL=http://www.gungfu.com/pics_general/pics_weapons/weapons_traditional_yuanyang_razors.jpg]Yuan Yang Razors*[/URL]. With the length of the blade running down the forearm of her arm, The Daughter is able to use the smaller blades on the opposite end from the hook to guard and for closer ranged fighting.

[SIZE=1]*Hyperlinks.[/SIZE]

[B]Appearance:[/B] See the attachment, please.

[CENTER][U][B]Sample of "The Daughter"[/B][/U][/CENTER]

?Do it again.?

?[I]Again,[/I] Sensei??

?Yes.?

?But I just now did it for the first time.? she protested.

?Then, you will do it for the second time, next.?

?I won?t do it. You can?t make me.?

SLAP.

?Do as he says.?

?Wha-? Father? What are you-?

SLAP.

?Now.?

?Yes, father.? she replied tearfully.

With that, Kyoko set herself in her fighting stance. She got control of her breathing, and then attempted a flying leap at her Sensei, her Hybrids pressed firmly against her forearms. The old master?s katana flicked upward to slice her in half, and Kyoko whipped the right blade out to intercept it. The two collided, and the old man?s blade was deflected upward, and Kyoko whipped the right blade out from her other arm. But the old man was too swift for her, even despite the stage of life he was in. His katana moved right back down to block the second offensive. Kyoko landed softly on her feet. The drill was over; done in only a few seconds. The master was unharmed. She had failed. Master Yhan, her sensei, was not pleased. She did not feel like listening to his reprimand, and turned away.

[I]CLANG![/I]

It was pure luck that saved her.

Yhan had suddenly made a strong horizontal stroke at Kyoko?s head, which could have severed her head from her body. She had just raised her hand to brush her hair back when he struck. The katana forced her own weapon against her head, knocking her over and momentarily disorienting her. Kyoko heard the old man let loose a savage cry and she desperately rolled out of the way, tucking in her arms to prevent being cut by the Hybrids. She could hear the katana slice through the practice mat behind her. She ran into a wall and stopped.

She screamed.

There was an incredibly sharp pain in her leg, and she was shocked into immobility, still shrieking herself hoarse. She had been stabbed, she realized. The old b****** had stabbed her!

She gave an agonized wail as the blade retreated from her leg, but gritted her teeth and flipped up to her feet, leaning noticeably on her right leg. She blinked back tears and saw her former tutor being restrained by clan members. Her father stood nearby, watching with controlled anger.

?Why didn?t you kill him??

Kyoko lost control of herself for a moment and fell back against the padded wall. He was angry at [I]her?[/I] After what had just happened? After one of his men tried to kill his own daughter?! She was crushed. She had done for her father; suffering hours of merciless tutelage under different martial arts masters, striving to achieve [I]his[/I] dream . It was his twisted dream to make her his perfect bodyguard and assassin. He had told her so. Yasou had hid none of his plans from her. She was his confidant, his one and only trust. He had told her that, too. And that was what had eventually sealed her loyalty. She wanted to please her father, more than anything. And right now, what he wanted was an old man, dead by her hands.

?I?ll do it.? she croaked. ?Let him come.?

?What?? her father snapped.

?I will kill him for you, father. Just release him.? there was a lump in her throat and she wavered unsteadily on her feet.

Yasou sneered. ?I might as well. It?s apparent that my dream has failed. You?ve disappointed me.?

?LET HIM GO!? Kyoko screamed. ?Let me prove myself to him!?

The two clan members reluctantly released the master, who promptly picked up his katana. He ran his hand up the blade, and then killed the two men who had just restrained him. Yasou?s father pulled out a gun and pointed it at him. ?I will get you for that, if she does not.?

Yhan shook his head arrogantly. ?I am prepared to die.? he said. He began his approach on Kyoko, who also advanced, albeit slowly. Yhan?s katana was low, and he was relaxed. The girl was skilled, and knew much, but he was a master of his style. No [I]teenage girl[/I] would kill him, that much was certain. His thoughts were more concerned with the Yasou, and how to disarm him. Yhan?s divided concentration would ultimately cost him his life.

Yhan was so preoccupied with Yasou?s gun that he did not notice the girl?s stance. It was different, with the weapons's longer, hook-edged sides facing outward. Not the close ranged forearm technique he had been teaching her to use. The stance left her open, though, and he took advantage of that, lashing at her chest with the katana. She had begun to move before him, though, and something very unexpected occurred.

Kyoko had hooked the two end of her Hybrid?s together, and was swinging them in a circular parry that would have deflected the katana. But, instead of the edges of the two weapons striking each other and the katana being driven away, the sword's blade traveled through the Hybrid?s handle and was hurled from Yhan's grasp. The Hybrid flew off with the blade, leaving a surprised Kyoko with one weapon, and chagrined a Yhan with none.

The teary-eyed sixteen year-old girl flipped her remaining weapon to the shorter, pointed edge, and plunged it into Yhan?s chest. The old man's eyes widened, and he coughed up blood. Kyoko let the weapon go, and Yhan fell to the ground. She looked up at her father with a red, blood spattered face and a wan smile. Yasou clapped softly and then spoke. ?You?ll have to be faster next time.?[/FONT]

[Burori]

[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]Hattori Hanzo[/SIZE][/FONT]

[I]"The art of camouflage is to make the seen unseen."[/I]- A saying passed down in his family legacy. [I][FONT=Book Antiqua]Baseball: A very challenging sport tha he grew accustomed to in his childish years. Katana: A weapon that was best suited for those who walked in the footsteps of the Hanzo clan.[/FONT][/I]

Weapon of Choice: [IMG]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=20076&stc=1[/IMG] [FONT=Book Antiqua]A baseball: Although it looks like a harmless baseball it is actually a self-impact smoke grenade. When it touches the ground it lets off a smoke screen that will make Hattori look invisible and be able to move freely from harm or sneak on whomever he is searching to kill. [/FONT] [IMG]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=20078&stc=1[/IMG] [FONT=Book Antiqua]Katana: A sword that was given to him from the bloodline of his ancestors. He made a few adjustments to his blade to make it sharper and lighter than it was originally made to be. With it he is a master Swordsman and will use this skill in getting revenge on Adam for clouding his brother, when he does kill him he feels honor in his family's name will be restored. [/FONT] Age: 38 Appearance: [IMG]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=20077&stc=1[/IMG] A Sample of Hanzo: [FONT=Book Antiqua]I felt a sharp wind peaking upon my face as I reached the summit of my travels. The direction that I must now walk is forward, forward towards Adam. He was the target on my mind. He was responsible for clouding my brother. Making my family fall to the ground in shame of existing, there faces covered with a cloth so no other can notice whom they are. Such a terrible action to make, my brother showed no care about it either, he will pay as well. Honor of my family now weighed on my shoulders, such a weight to bare. "I am ready Adam." I spoke to the sky and stars. The words I uttered were true and confident. After I kill him my brother was the next target, I will have to kill him as well, my own brother. The reasons I do not fully know but I feel it deep within my body, my soul that death is the only option for a traitor. I am glad father wasn't here to witness it. Such a thing would send his tears to the floor. I remember our childhood so well...So young we were. *Flashback* "Harder Hattori." The voice spoke to me from behind. I reconized it as my father. "You must attack with balance son. Yoichi is known for his strength thus attacking head on is useless. You must attack from behind. Use your speed to beat him." "Ha. Like my little brother thinks he can do that." Yoichi said mocking me. I thanked him for that. I remember taking off like the wind on him. He tried to strike me with his fists but I managed to dodge and run from behind. There I hit his back with my pole. I remember his cry in pain very well. I beaten him at that point. For the first time I was supperior until he betrayed us... *End flashback* "I'm coming to save you Yoichi Hanzo. Our Family will remember honor and praise once more. I will save you by killing Adam and you. From there big brother you will experience your trial of your heart. I pray that you will be decided upon fairly." I thought as I reached for a boulder above me. I pulled myself to the top. There I saw it, the one symbol that shed light upon my sad face, the sun felt nice. [/FONT]

There is my kick at trying this out. Good luck to all other Hanzo participants. May the judging be fair Caesar. (Hail Caesar)

[Malkav]

About Her "A man once called me a crazy *****, I thanked him by showing him just how right he was..." "Do you think I look like a *****?" "Doubt this sword of mine has ever seen the light of day for more than a second at a time." "I think I fell in love with her innocence, because before her, I didn't think it existed in this world."

The Daughter Snow fell silently on the rooftop as they faced each other. Silently, they stared forward, watching, tormenting, waiting for the other to make a faulty step or movement. Through the haze of her chilled breath, Kyoko saw her enemy, a man who made a challenge for her power. He was already battle scarred as he had tried to slay her many times this night, only to be met with the cold taste of steel to the flesh. Snow fell in his open wounds and burned them, but he ignored them, because he knew that some way some how, this little ***** was going to use that to her advantage. Kyoko saw all of this in his eyes, all of this anger and fear she had filled him with, it made her smile to see that he was so bent on her destruction. Her smile would tear through his heart, she thought, her smile would hurt him. She then took her stance and waited; like a cornered rat, he launched forward towards her. Her sword was still sheathed as he ran... A strike of white lightning, and his head tumbled to the ground from his still moving body. The snow stained red as Kyoko sheathed her sword once more, she then turned and looked at her kill. His body still fidgeted and the eyes in his severed head still turned from side to side. What a horrible way to die, she thought as she left the rooftop, leaving him where he lay. Appearance: Kyoko is a well figured and slightly muscular young girl with long hair (she allowed it to grow out after her last appearance in the saga) and a beautiful face. 5'6, She is usually seen wearing a trenchcoat over a suit as she has dictated to the den of snakes a new dress code, the trenchcoat hiding her katana underneath. She sometimes dyes her hair, and can now be seen as a blonde with green eyes (contacts) that are said to hide her dormant insanity. Sometimes she lets go and wears some of the same stuff as other girls her age, but she's careful and this is a rare occurence. She is a very attractive young lady who rarely smiles. Weapon of Choice: Kyoko uses a katana which she named Hebi-Seppun or Serpent's Kiss, it was forged for her by an obscure weaponsmith that her father knew from way back and was given to her not too long ago, before her father died. Because of her first fighting style, Iai Jutsu, only a few people have actually seen her blade. Some say that it is red, stained with blood from the many lives it took, others say that it carries with it the poisons of the creature it's named after, and its "kiss" will kill a man even if the blow delivered is not fatal, and still more say that a blade is not within her sheath at all, but a bolt of lightning which will strike down all who come near it. These rumors please Kyoko, as they teach people to fear and respect her. Kyoko also carries two small knives that she keeps usually on a mechanism hidden within the sleeves of her trenchcoat. She only uses them as alternatives to the wakizashi that traditional samurai wear, because she feels the wakizashi's a clumbersome item that's not necessarily useful. She also knows a form of unarmed combat, Sosuishi-ryu Jujutsu, which she uses to fight while her sword is sheathed to not feel so helpless when waiting for her opponent's mistake . Sample of "The Daughter" Sitting down on the office desk, the schoolgirl clacked her white shoes together timidly, she was 16 and had been sitting in the office every since school was let out. She recalled how a boy tried to talk to her, how he wanted to know why she wouldn't become his girlfriend. She remembered how she simply walked away from him, not wanting to answer his question, he then chased her back to this building, where he was stopped by security. He was a cute boy, she thought, but she had already been taken by someone. A certain someone who made her heart sing when she thought of them. But this someone trapped her into loving them, trapped her nubile body, timid eyes, and beautiful hair. Trapped her into a love in which she had no choice in the matter... Kyoko burst through the door, slamming it back as she walked into the dimly lit office. "Chiaki," she said aggresively, as she hung her trench coat on a nearby coat rack, "how long have you been waiting here?" "Since school was let out..." she trailed some in her words, and continued kicking her shoes together. Kyoko continued, taking off her blazer under the trench coat and tie. She removed her Katana last, and sat it on the back of the desk, she then released her hair from the bun it was in on top of her head and allowed its blonde glory to flow down her shoulders onto her back. "Well, since you're here, braid my hair." "Alright." said Chiaki, in response to the order. Chiaki scooted back some on the desk and allowed Kyoko to take a seat between her legs, she then took two handfuls of Kyoko's hair and began. Chiaki enjoyed playing in Kyoko's hair, she always thought it was so lovely, and when she did this, Kyoko wouldn't stare at her, wouldn't try to scare her. This was the side of Kyoko she liked, the side she loved. "One of the whelps made a play for my power today, sadly it didn't play out as he had expected it," Kyoko began, "The fool actually believed he could best me in a duel, he didn't see my blade once. I made a show of toying with him, to make him come to terms with the fact that he had just made a deadly mistake." "Sorry it had to end that way, Mistress, Shall I pray for his family?." "Don't bother, his family isn't going to live much longer. I had someone take them out as well, I don't want anyone left to pray for the dead, I learned that trick from... father." said Kyoko. She reminisced a bit back to her father and then suddenly snapped back at attention, "I...was always second to him." Chiaki stopped braiding her hair and hugged her, "But you're second to no one now, don't make yourself angry." she whispered into her ear. "I guess we're that much alike... although, I have more balls than his ***. If I didn't, he would still be here, and I wouldn't have you to braid my hair. Isn't that funny?" Chiaki giggled a bit and started braiding again, when she finished, Kyoko stood, turned around and kissed her, Chiaki didn't expect this, but it was invited. "How was school today?" asked Kyoko, although it sounded more like an order than a question. "The same, I guess." Chiaki replied, she contined braiding. "Stop Chiaki." Kyoko ordered, halting Chiaki cold. Chiaki saw it coming, the other side of Kyoko, she braced herself for the worst. "I can tell when you're lying to me. What happened today?" Kyoko stared coldly into her eyes, "Answer me." Chiaki's heart began to beat faster and faster as fear rose within her, "N-Nothing happened today, I..." before she could finish, Kyoko grabbed her, pulled her off of the desk and forced her to a nearby book case. "Don't lie to me..." Kyoko said, her eyes burning into Chiaki as salt to an open wound, "now tell me everything." Chiaki blurted it out, hoping Kyoko would leave her alone after that, "It was a boy!" she saw Kyoko's eyes widen, "He wanted me to become his girlfriend, but I refused and he chased me back to this building." A moment of silence fell between them as Kyoko ingested all of this. "Stupid *****..." Kyoko whispered, she backhanded Chiaki into the corner and fell upon her. "When I ask something of you, you answer." Kyoko hit her again. "Yes!!" Chiaki screamed through the tears coming from her eyes, "Please stop Mistress!" Kyoko then began grabbing at Chiaki, grabbing her chest, her legs, her area, all the while spouting at her, "This belongs to me, and this, and this, and this, You belong to me, *****, and you don't disobey me, do you understand?!" By the time Kyoko was done torturing her, Chiaki's shirt and skirt were torn, and her arms and legs carried marks on them, she was scared, and Kyoko could see that. Kyoko's eyes suddenly lost their rage and she saw what she had done, she balled her hands into fists and punched the wall above Chiaki's head and then knelt down to her. Kyoko lifted Chiaki up, and looked deeply into her teary eyes, Chiaki couldn't help but obey her mistress's guide. "I'm sorry Chiaki," Kyoko said, wiping Chiaki's tears away from her eyes, "I'm sorry that I lost control, I'm sorry that I hurt you. Forgive me, my love." She moved in close to kiss Chiaki, but Chiaki jerked her head sideways, Kyoko then put her lips to Chiaki's ear, "You're all that I have left in this world, my family died long ago, and my father met his long due end just recently, you kow that." Kyoko blew softly into Chiaki's ear and felt her nearly melt under her embrace, "You're all that's left for me to love, I know after I kill Adam, there will be nothing more important in my heart than you, and then we'll live together for the rest of our lives, no one will ever come between us. Please don't hate me, Chiaki, my love." Kyoko kissed her ear, then her cheek, and finally her lips. She held the kiss long and passionately, and Kyoko felt a tinge of satisfaction as Chiaki succumbed to her...

[James]

[color=#707875][size=2]Okay, I've made my decision on both characters. But before I mention who I've chosen, I want to take some time to critique the entries that I've received.

All of you -- without exception -- have put in a massive amount of effort here. So you deserve more than a simple "you're in, you're out" type of response. I'm going to tell you what I liked and what I didn't like about your posts, to give you a good idea of my own thinking. But also, this advice may help you in your future writing efforts. Please note: I'm going to be [b]brutally honest[/b] in my opinions. But the criticism will definitely be [b]constructive[/b]. ~_^

If nothing else, I hope it helps you in your future RPG efforts.

[u][b]JJRiddler[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] I like the idea of a bow and arrow; nice and old fashioned. As for the machete...I'm not so sure. The actual weapon is a cool idea, but the whole rubbery blade thing doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I can't quite imagine how that would look, or if it'd work.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Seems logical enough, but there's no attachment.

[b]Sample:[/b] All in all, I thought that your sample was "good". It was reasonably well written (though you overused words like "threw" and "thud", which hurt it). I guess the bigger problem I had was that the sample really wasn't doing anything terribly interesting. Hanzo goes and kills a man, the police catch up with him, he speeds away in an Audi and escapes, with the cops thinking he's dead. While I was reading it, it just felt a little dry and it had a sense of "been there, done that". Not to say that the cliches aren't worthwhile, it's just that they probably need really strong writing to support them. In this case, I just felt that everything was "so-so". Good, but not great. I did like your use of the sidebar though. It was good to see that you were the first person to use it (and that you jumped in right away with HTML).

[u][b]Zidargh[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] There are two main points I'd make about this part of your sign-up. The actual weapon is a pretty reasonable idea, but what makes it far more plausible is the philosophy behind the absence of guns -- I particularly liked that aspect. It was definitely a worthy inclusion.

[b][b]Appearance[/b]:[/b] I like your description of Hanzo in general. It seems logical, and it seems in-character. Although saying that he seems out of place makes little sense to me, considering that the vast majority of Japanese don't dress like pop-culture icons. Nonetheless, I think it's solid and it works.

[b]Sample:[/b] The main thing I liked about your sample was that it related directly to Hanzo's career. I also like the fact that you portrayed Hanzo as a demanding teacher -- not that I was necessarily expecting this, but it came through well. There are a couple of things I disliked though. Firstly, Hanzo says that he's sending another "pawn" to Adam -- bear in mind that Hanzo trains the best assassins in the world. I would imagine that Hanzo-trained assassins were a cut above the rest. Also, at the end he says that his family's disgrace will be ended at this rate. The only problem I have with that is that Hanzo's career itself is what makes him and his father a disagrace to their family name. Whether or not they succeed in their "life of crime" probably doesn't have much bearing on their family's disgrace (other than to make it worse).
All in all, it was a pretty good sign-up. Your writing was a little over-complicated at times, which hurt the flow. But I [i]did [/i]like the fact that you referenced Persona and that you attempted to link your character to the main story -- good job there.

[u][b]ColourDeaf[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b] Looks pretty adequate to me; doesn't ramble on forever, but includes enough of a description for me to have an idea of what you're talking about.

[b]Appearance:[/b] I think that your actual ideas come out really well. The problem is that your writing seems a little bit rushed at times (which I'll elaborate on with your sample). But sometimes the wording comes across quite well. There isn't much more for me to say about the appearance you've chosen; it seems fine enough, other than writing quality issues being there.

[b]Sample:[/b] "He rolled the cigarette with the skill of a terminal nicotine addict." - Awesome opening line. Caught my attention immediately. In general, I think that your sample was very well written. You didn't over-describe things, but you also went slightly what was beyond being necessary. I like the fact that Hattori is somewhat philosophical (but also nasty) and I like the fact that he both slapped his victim with the book...and then pointed it at him, as he spoke. Again, you haven't gone into too much detail -- you haven't bogged down the writing. But you've given me a really good impression of how this might look.

Of course, like before, I think that you could benefit from touching this up a bit. It'd be nice to see a little bit more care being taken in general -- but that's a somewhat minor complaint. I think that your sign-up works well though. I'm not quite sure that what you included in the left column was so important or relevant to the rest of the post...but, overall, it came across quite well to me.

[b][u][b]ReFlux[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] I like the fact that you linked this section with concepts about danger of kidnapping and so on. That was a nice touch -- and it was very logical/relevant. In regard to weapons, pictures would have been fine. Although I appreciate the level of detail here...I think it's unnecessary. In other words, I don't need encyclopedia descriptions of weapons; I only need to know what they look like. It's more important to talk about the relationship between the character and his/her weapons, as opposed to the weapons themselves (although, I do like the information you've included in the sidebar relating to Kyoko and her weapons - that kinda stuff is more what I'm looking for).

[b]Appearance:[/b] This section came off as being fairly adequate, although I think there's an unnecessary amount of text here. A more concise approach would have been welcome.

[b]Origin of The Daughter:[/b] I didn't ask for this field. So, in writing it, you are kind of taking a significant risk -- I've provided you with some concrete information about this character, so you risk contradicting that (and the stuff included in Volume 1), if you aren't careful. The first problem I noticed was that you mentioned that Yasuo was a white-coloured businessman. I'm not sure if you are implying that he is caucasian, but Yasuo has been portrayed as a Japanese underground figure in Volume 1. So, that's a factual inaccuracy. I like what you've included about Kyoko's mother - that was a positive element. I think it's possible that Kyoko's relationship with her father is overstated a bit, at least in the early stages. I'm also wondering why Adam would kill Kyoko's mother. Also, you mention that Yasuo distanced himself from Kyoko due to concern for her personal safety. Yet, this is the same man that had allowed Adam to rape her as punishment.

[b]Sample:[/b] I like the sample you've provided. I think that you've accurately portrayed Kyoko here. At least, you have a strong interpretation of her. The only thing that jumps out at me right now is the title of "Snake Charmer". That is appropriate, but it's lifted directly from Kill Bill, which is something that I don't really want to see. So that would probably have to be changed. In all though, I think that your sample works out quite well. The only thing I'd say in terms of criticism, is that there isn't anything particularly innovative or different here. Of course, I don't want people to innovate just for innovation's sake. But, I think you could have drafted a more original character. Still, having said that, you've definitely provided some significant background to her and you've also attempted to explain why she does what she does. Good stuff.
[b][u][/b][/u]
[u][b][/b][/u]
[u][b][b]Bio[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] Nice photo and a solid reasoning behind the choice. No complaints with this part of it.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Not bad. The picture is good and the clothing seems adequate. Although, it would have been nice to see something a little more unique - but nonetheless, I have no major complaints.

[b]Sample:[/b] Very nice sample here. Excellent use of the left column; perhaps the best I've seen in the thread. Also, the writing is very clear and well presented -- the good English definitely helps the piece. The only thing is, I finish reading the sample and I kind of wonder who this character is and why they'd want Hanzo to stop dealing with Adam. Understandably, this is just a writing sample though. But I don't know if you had the intention of linking it to the main story or not. The fight was well written, but it could possibly have been a bit more concise (although, I do understand that you've tried to write it from the point of view of a particular character, so what is essentially a "quick fight" would seem longer when we know what the character is thinking at every moment). All-in-all, a solid effort. Great use of the left navigation bar, as mentioned. And I'm especially pleased that you decided to use music. Although, the music you chose...I don't know how appropriate it is for the scene, considering that it's the type of music you'd hear in a bar (and in an American bar, at that). But perhaps I'm just missing something there, which could very well be the case.
[b][/b]
[b][u][b]Alan[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] The writing here is fine, but I did notice one thing early on; Yasuo died at the hands of Joshua, not Jamie. Not a huge problem, but it all factors in. The logic behind the taser works well (particularly the concept of keeping someone alive), but I'm not sure how relevant it is in a story that is kind of reflecting campy kung fu flicks. The boomerang really stood out to me -- I was thinking "what the hell?" when I first read about it. In some respects, it seems totally nonsensical to me, especially in the context of this story. But on the other hand, I can imagine it making for some awesome battles. The problem with both weapons, though, is that they possibly don't allow for very much "direct fighting" if you know what I mean. The taser is close-range and wouldn't work well against a sword. The boomerang is great at long range -- and [i]possibly [/i]good at close range. But I'm not sure how well it'd work against a sword. Nonetheless, this is a good effort.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Pretty good. I like the fact that she has blue eyes. Everything else seems in order, except that Kyoko wouldn't wear a Geisha costume; that's a bit like a crime boss wearing a nun's habit. A Geisha costume is designed for a Geisha, so it isn't something that anyone can wear. Also, Geisha costumes are specifically designed for the individual, and the ornaments in the hair represent the "level" that the Geisha has reached. So, that's just a factual thing -- unless you'd done research on Geisha, you wouldn't know. So that's okay, I just thought I'd point it out, for the sake of the critique.

[b]Sample:[/b] This part seems fine to me. You've portrayed her in a very specific way and you've kept it consistent. Fairly good use of English, though there are some grammatical/pacing problems in various places. But it's nothing serious -- the overall piece works pretty well I'd say. I like the fact that you included a car chase of sorts, without going into [i]too [/i]much detail on the driving mechanics. I mean, you kept it based around the narrative, which is good.
[b][/b]
[b][u][b]Dragon Warrior[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] Seems fine to me. Nice variety and a pretty good reasoning for the weapons you have chosen.

[b]Age:[/b] There isn't anything particularly wrong with his age, but he's probably too young. Afterall, Hattori Hanzo is supposed to be the most famous/popular assassin trainer in Japan. A 25 year old is a baby, in relative terms, compared to the people he's training.
[b][/b]
[b][b]Appearance[/b]:[/b] Asian mobster? The clothing you've described seems very much like an American mobster of the 30's, to me. I'm not sure how appropriate that is for a blade-wielding assassin trainer. I like the inclusion of the eye-patch, even though it's somewhat stereotypical. Overall, not bad -- I [i]can [/i]see it working, but my initial reaction to it makes me think that there are some questionable elements there.

[b]Sample:[/b] In general, I felt that your sample was a little too long. Remember that I'm looking for quality of writing, not quantity of writing. The basic elements are quite simple, but in some places I feel that you've been a little over-descriptive. There are also some language issues (ie: "neither" should be "either") and when I read "He had to of since his smile grew more generous than ever before", I had no idea what it meant. I had to re-read it. There are a few lines like that throughout your sample. So those are the more technical points.
In terms of substance, there are a few specific things that I found to be niggling. Like for example, the fact that Hanzo has a "holy cross" that makes him feel more confident. I'm not sure how logical that is, considering that this guy is basically a legendary Japanese swordsman. If anything, he'd be shintoist or buddhist, right?

Also, in this sample, you have chosen to emphasize Hanzo's skills with a gun - particularly a somewhat proprietary firearm (the umbrella gun idea and so on). Although it's reasonable that an assassin would use guns as well as swords, I'm not sure how suitable that is for Hattori Hanzo himself. I mean, again, this guy is a legendary Japanese swordsman/assassin. While your interpretation isn't entirely unreasonable, I feel that the emphasis isn't quite right in the sample.

I'm also not quite sure about Hanzo's obviously-Christian religious leanings, as combined with his profession and his ethnic and cultural origin. I noticed this particularly in the left-column paragraph you included at the end.

So, I like what you did with the left column. I think you fleshed things out quite a lot there. But overall, I'm concerned with the fact that it was unnecessarily drawn-out and that you've crafted Hanzo as basically a 30's American mobster, rather than a Japanese assassin trainer.

[b][u][b]Mimmi[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] Nice choice of weapons here. It's something feminine, but also something crafty and deadly. Good pictures, too.

[b]Appearance:[/b] I think that this section was well written and pretty logical too.

[b]Sample:[/b] Very good submission. It wasn't too long; it was concise and to-the-point. It also related directly to an incident that had occurred between The Daughter and Adam. If I had to nitpick, I'd only say that the way you put a space between some punctuation and words (ie: "Question mark like this ?") is very jarring to me. In any other venue, it is fine. But in terms of a story where you want the words to flow nicely, it tends to break my attention "out of the moment", because it isn't correct English. But again, I'm nitpicking (which is what I'm doing with every single submission here). All-in-all, I'm quite impressed by your submission.
Also, you used the music correctly and you chose a very appropriate track for this piece. Excellent job on that.

[b][u][b]Ouka[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] Nice choice of weapons, and great pictures too. Very good.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Very nice description and some great pictures there too. The only part I didn't like was the "cutting" aspect. Maybe I've just been reading too many teen cutting threads in Otaku Lounge. ~_^

[b]Sample:[/b] Quite a good sample. In some places it comes off as being a bit rambly and that can make it a bit confusing at times. But generally I liked it and felt that it was appropriate. The ending was a little weaker than the beginning, but it generally worked pretty well.
[b][/b]
[b][u][b]Bean[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] You didn't include this field, which was a required field.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Same as above. Although you did include a slight description of Kyoko in your sample, but nevertheless, it's a required field.

[b]Sample:[/b] I really liked the sample itself. It was well-written and had a strong sense of cohesion about it. The dialogue was also pretty good and pretty relevant/suitable. Your use of the left column was also fairly strong.
However, the fact that you submitted your sign-up as an image and [i]not [/i]in HTML...that's a problem. It's a problem because, if you were to post in the RPG, it would be unreasonable to post a giant image every time you want to use HTML. You know? It takes forever to download on a narrowband modem and it doesn't give you the kind of flexibility that HTML provides (ie: linking to a song in the soundtrack and so on).

The fact that your sign-up kind of fails/misses so many critical points is worrying. But on the other hand, the sample is concise and very well written. You like putting me in a difficult situation, don't you?

[b][u][b]Ben[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] Looks pretty good to me. Plenty of detail and some great pictures.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Seems logical enough.

[b]Sample:[/b] Good sample; it was great that you included Yasuo and that you provided some further insight into the relationship between himself and Kyoko. I like the fact that you gave Kyoko a reason to be loyal to her father, even though he obviously treated her terribly. So yeah, I was quite happy with this.
[b][/b]
[b][u][b]Burori[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice:[/b][/b] Your choice of weapons was definitely interesting. I can imagine the baseball thing being pretty cool. But I agree that a second weapon is needed; a baseball alone is possibly not aggressive enough. In regard to what you said about Hanzo wanting to go after Adam...it's interesting that you interpreted it that way. I had not pictured Hanzo as being particularly anti-Adam, at least, Hanzo himself had been the man that had trained many who worked for Adam. As we know, Hanzo had a "business relationship" with Adam. But it must be known that I didn't specify whether or not Adam had done Hanzo wrong or anything...so that was open to interpretation. Most people here have suggested that Hanzo was working with Adam and that the pair hadn't really had a falling out. So your interpretation was different, which is good.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Unfortunately, none of your images work. So I don't know what he looks like.

[b]Sample:[/b] I must point out one clarification here. It was my intention to suggest that Yoichi Hanzo was Hattori Hanzo's [i]father[/i], not his brother. Yoichi was the first to train assassins -- so he was the one that started it all. The suggestion is that this process began a while ago, and that Hattori is merely continuing it to this day. However, I also did mention that Yoichi had two brothers, who did what their parents had wanted them to do. But there's one important fact to note here; Hiroyuki Hanzo is listed as being Hattori's "great great grandfather". This means that Yoichi Hanzo is, by default, Hattori's "great grandfather". So there are two entire generations between Yoichi and Hattori.
The fact that you have missed this point kind of tells me that you didn't read the Playable Character page very carefully. And with something like this, coming in halfway on an RPG...that's kinda a problem.

Anyway, the actual piece was relatively good. The writing could defintiely be tightened up in some places, but overall I think it was a good effort. If you take anything from this critique, let it be the knowledge that reading the sign-up form thoroughly is really important. Mostly, you probably won't be dealing with something that is quite as elaborate as this RPG. However, this RPG's story isn't terribly complex; some RPGs on here have insane amounts of detail (Piro's Brave Fencer RPG comes to mind), and these RPGs really require that their participants remain aware of everything that is going on.

[b][u][b]Malkav[/b][/u]


[b]Weapon of Choice[/b]:[/b] I really like the fact that you've coloured the information about her weapon with references to popular rumors and so on. The fact that she's named her sword, and that it all relates back to her own personality is a cool element.

[b]Appearance:[/b] One thing that struck me here was the mention of a suit. And immediately, I began thinking of the Crazy 88 and the suits in Reservoir Dogs. I don't know if you intended to make this connection, but it works to your favor. I can imagine Kyoko dressing like one of the gangsters in Reservoir Dogs, in terms of the actual suit...with the trenchcoat over the top. Combine that with her blonde hair and blue eyes (which would look very startling on a Japanese girl), and you have a pretty unique and frightening character. Cool stuff.

[b]Sample:[/b] This was a really cool sample, plain and simple. In some cases, I was a bit iffy about dialogue...but like every critique I am making here, these criticisms are an exercise in nit-picking.
So what did I like specifically? Well, I liked the fact that her relationship with Chiaki was more than just a "lesbian love affair". In general, I think it's easy to make a female character a lesbian, if you want to inject shock value. However, you have approached this in a very unique way.

You have attempted to add some depth to this relationship, by essentially portraying Kyoko as an abusive spouse; she's someone with a very loving side, who appreciates beauty...but she is also a terrifying human being at times. Even those closest to her cannot trust her at all times. And, she doesn't come across as being "crazy for crazy's sake" -- she isn't crazy as such; her behavior is based on her history and the relationship with her father. It's almost like she has a severe insecurity, because she hates not being in control and she wants to kind of [i]force [/i]Chiaki to love her and be loyal.

You could say that she is repeating her father's mistakes, which is highly appropriate for the story. I had also pictured Kyoko as being a wildcard of sorts -- quiet at one moment, crazed the next. But not only that; I had imagined that she wouldn't necessarily be strictly "anti-Adam". Of course, she [i]is [/i]anti-Adam...but she's also against anyone who would appear to be taking away her power, or posing any kind of a threat to her. I can see her being a very interesting character.

So, now for the moment of truth. ~_^

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[center][/size][i][font=Verdana][size=2]Malkav is[/size][/font][/i][/center]
[center][font=Verdana][size=4]"THE DAUGHTER"[/size][/font][/center]

[center][i][font=Verdana][size=2][/size][/font][/i] [/center]
[center][i][font=Verdana][size=2]ColourDeaf is[/size][/font][/i][/center]
[center][font=Verdana][size=4]HATTORI HANZO[/size][/font][/center]



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[left][font=Verdana][size=2]And there you have it.[/size][/font][/left]

[left][font=Verdana][size=2][/size][/font] [/left]
[left][font=Verdana][size=2]At this point, I want to ask [b]all[/b] participants of Kill Adam to tell me what links they'd like me to put up on the cast links page at the official site. You can have maybe four or five links to whatever you like (your myO, your own personal site, or any other site).[/size][/font][/left]

[left][font=Verdana][size=2][/size][/font] [/left]
[left][font=Verdana][size=2]Please PM me so that I can create a list of links to go up there. [/size][/font][/left]

[left][font=Verdana][size=2][/size][/font] [/left]
[left][font=Verdana][size=2]Congrats to those who got in. To those who didn't, you should all know that your sign-ups were amazing and that in the end, it came down to the little things that really stood out.[/size][/font][/left]

[left][font=Verdana][size=2][/size][/font] [/left]
[left][font=Verdana][size=2]I hope that my little critiques help you in some form and I hope that you enjoyed writing your sign-ups. ^_^[/size][/font][/color][/left]