Age Differences?

[Lilt]

[size=1][color=purple]I was just wondering what you guys would consider acceptable age differences and what you think would just be too creepy. Also, I need some help. Here's my problem:[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=purple]A friend of mine, (who's 15 by the way,) wants to date this guy who is about 2 and a half years older than her. I told her to go for it since he's a really nice guy, but her parents don't approve of them dating because they say he's too old for her. What do you guys think? But before you make your decision, you might also want to know that her parents will let her date the guys she works with that are the same age as this guy. So do you guys have any ideas how she can convince her parents to let her date him? Thanks everyone! :angel:[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=purple][/color][/size]
[b][size=1][color=purple]P.S. When I say, "my friend", I don't mean, "me". I already have a girlfriend who I love as much, if not more, than she loves me.[/color][/size][/b]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]There are always questions about maturity and such when you go into any sort of age difference, but here's my opinion:

Anything that's less than seven years is okay. But then you have to consider things like the age of consent laws in your state and statutory rape. And also your age has a bit to do with it as well. A 21 one year old dating a 28 year old is one thing, but a twelve year old and a 19 year old is definately another.

I don't have myuch of a problem with age differences. Although with the exception of two ex-boyfriends I've always been the older one in the relationship. I'm eleven months and eight days older than my husband and that hasn't worked out too bad. Then again, I'm going to be 23 and he'll be 22 next Friday. So maybe that doesn't help matters.

In some ways her parents are right because what exactly does a 17 almost 18 year old have in common with a 15 year old with the exeption of they have 2 arms 2 legs and so on.

I don't know if this helped at all, but I figured I could atleast try.[/color]

[Dan L]

One of my housemates' brothers has a fairly good rule. Your minimum age you'll go out with is half your age + 7.

However, his maximum limit is "double your age, -7"... which never works quite as well. For instance, I'm 21. By that rule, my minimum would be about 18, which is quite a decent estimate. However, by the opposite, my maximum limit is 35 year olds.... which I'm not quite so keen on..

We revised the maximum rule to one and a half times your age, -7.. Works far better that way.



As for actual acceptable differences- I'd say that maturity plays a good part in it. There's a hell of a lot more difference in maturity between a 17 year old and a 14 year old, than a 25 year old and a 20 year old, on the whole. Through the age range of 13-17/18 it's generally advisable not to stray more than a year or two outside your age, not because it's necessarily "indecent" or unacceptable because it's against the status quo, but rather because one of you will be way behind the other when it comes to maturity.

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Well, I had a friend who went out with this guy who was 18 and she was 14 at the time. They broke it off after a while and they haven?t talked much since then but i know the guy and he's really great so it wasn?t because he was 'ready' or anything like that (If you know what I mean)

I think the age doesn?t really matter as long as both the intentions are the same, I mean if it's like a 13 year old girl with a 25 year old man then, yes, that is wrong. But if it's still in the teen years it shouldn?t matter at all.

Maybe her parents should meet this guy and see what they think of him? Anyway, hope all goes well for your friend.[/COLOR]

[Hevn]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B]Ha! I have a friend back in highschool who dated a 28 year old guys and we were 14! It creeped me out a little but then another friend from college is going out with a 34 year old guy and she's 17. They get along great and I went along with them fine too. Tthe guy was really nice and it didn't even feel like he was 35 coz he's too childish. Maybe comfort is one factor. If you're comfortable with each other then maybe everything will go well. It's not bad to try though, it's your life and your decision.

Personally I'd go for men who's 3 to 5 years older than me coz men of my age are a little childish than me. It was also said that girls get mature minds earlier than guys do so it's better to get someone older. Well that's just me... ^_^x[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Lilt]

[size=1][color=purple]Well thanks everyone, you've really been a help. I was looking for an exact thing for her to say so that she can convince her parents to let her date this guy, but life's never that simple I guess. ;) Anyways, I think I can help her out now.[/color][/size]

[quote name='Imi][color=deepskyblue']Maybe her parents should meet this guy and see what they think of him? Anyway, hope all goes well for your friend.[/color][/quote]
[size=1][color=purple]That's the problem, Imi. Her parents won't even consider meeting with him because of his age difference. But that's not really the reason, because they're using a double standard since they will let her date guys from work that are the same age as him. I think they might be just making an excuse for some reason. What do you guys think?[/color][/size]

[Semjaza]

It seems like a lot of girls I know wind up dating guys way older than them. I don't know why. My last girlfriend had boyfriends that were several years older than her a couple times. I've never understood the appeal. Ironically, it seemed as though the older ones didn't really act any more "mature" than the younger ones... which is probably why they're 25 dating 17 year olds anyway.

In terms of this, I don't see the big deal. Most of my girlfriends have been around two years or so younger than me. It's not a conscious decision, just seems to happen. I figure that as long as you're on the same level, you're fine... as in maturity, emotional levels, intelligence, etc. That sort of stuff.

A couple years back I met this one girl who for whatever reason developed a crush on me. I'd say we were decent friends, but I didn't put much stock into it. She wanted to go out with me and eventually ignored me entirely when I refused. She mostly seemed upset because she thought I "wasn't one of the types of people who would care what people thought."

However, she was barely 16. I was 20. I think that's just too much of a difference. Not because four years is a lot, but I refuse to believe that anyone that age can truly relate to someone who isn't even a teenager anymore. We definitely were not at the same level of experiences.

At the same time, there was another girl who was around 24 when I was 20 and had I persued that, I think we would have wound up dating. She was four years older than I was, but I felt we could just relate properly... something I don't think would have been possible if I was 16 and she was 20.

So yeah, I'm rambling, but if it works, it works... basically.

[wiccansamurai]

My boyfriend is eighteen and I'm fifteen, and it works out ok because he's pretty immature. :laugh: (Seriously, he is)

It does really depend on maturity.

[Guest Shaman-SkyLord]

Ok well my best friend is 14, and his girlfriend is in 6th year that makes her..........17, and i think they go GREAT together, neither of there parents mind, just depends on how they feel together :)

[Doukeshi]

In my experience, girls usually go for older men, because they are closer to their maturity level apparently. I mean, most of my boyfriends and admirers have been older than I am. Because most girls mature faster than most guys it is safe to say that a girl will try to find a partner on her level...hence the older guy. However, I do know a girl who constantly dated 30 year old guys even though she was 16-18, in fact she is currently engaged to a guy who is almost twice her age.

However, this is not always a bad thing. My father is roughly 15 years older than my mother, which means when she was 15 he was 30. That sounds like a major difference, but when you put it that she is now 53 and he is 68 it doesn't sound all that bad.

I guess it depends on the guy. If he is a well meaning, decent bloke then all is good. if he is an arrogant user who is only out for one thing...well, you can guess the outcome of that.

[Transtic Nerve]

My boyfriend and I have a 3 and a half year age difference. Seems to be working, but then again, I'm significantly yolder than you. I think age difference is a big deal when people are 12-15 years old. But after that, i don't think it really matters. You shoul dmature sometime before the age of 16, and if you don't... well maybe you should be put back in elementary school with the other people like you.

[Panda]

My hubby and I have a 5 year age difference and we get along great. My parents have the same age difference between them aswell. My aunt and uncle have 11 years between them. It all depends on the maturity of the people involved in the relationship. If you have adults (over the age of 18) making the decisions it doesn't creep me out. If you have some 40 or 30 year old dating a 10 year old that bothers me. That is just plain wrong. In my opinion a 10 year old is not mature enough to make this type of decision. On top of that, there are laws against certain relationships between adults and minors.

[Corey]

[size=1]I've recently started dating a fifteen year old. I'm seventeen, going on eighteen. She is great in every aspect of being. Her parents aswell as mine were a little hesitant in the first weeks, but I assured them both of my intentions and know everyone is fine (apparently my mom thought I was some kind of sex-aholic when in fact I'm a blushing virgin).

As it has been said countless times, it's all a factor of maturity.[/size]

[Gelgoog Pilot]

Well here's my deal....Im not the type who gives a damn about what people think about me. I do what I feel is right. There is a girl that I like and am great friends with. She's 15...Im 19 4 years meh nothing really. my parents are like 6, though I don't mind that age difference I think I'll wiat a while to go steady. its definet;y easier when both of you can drive and well yeah. My parents know that I won't go out with her and sex it up! they leave me be with my relationships. My sister who is a friend of hers didn't take it so....gracefully.

her parents I don't know how they feel really haven't gon out with her seriously yet...like I mentioned.


And as advice.....her parents are being protective...I bet if she tried to go out with someone from work they'd come up with an excuse. My last g/ dad was sorta like that. The mom liked me while the dad was stand offish. I asked her if her dad hated me and she goes "No he likes you alot it's just that you're dating me." I found that pretty funny.