He likes me, but I don't like him!

[Ryoko T.D.C.]

[COLOR=Blue]Okay, there was this guy at school who's, well, I wouldn't call him "popular". (Or even really liked). But I thought he was nice because he liked the same thing I did. (Anime/Naruto). We would talk about it all the time. He would even let me borrow his manga of Naruto and Ranma 1/2. He was really nice. I didn't care what my friends thought of him. But after awhile, he started to get well, [I]creepy....[/I]

What I mean by creepy is that he asked me to go see a movie. I thought "Oh great, I knew one day that was going to happen." Well, I was like "no thanks, maybe next time" meaning "NO!" in my vocabulary. But he wouldn't give up! He'ed keep asking me and asking me and asking me! Then finally I just said my dad won't let me go out, then he quite.

But the worst part was when it was our last dance of our 8th grade year, every slow dance....he would follow me! *shiver* I had to find someone fast and dance with them (lucky night for me at least, I danced with my crush *points under name*) before he asked me. I danced with one kid, who I think liked me, so that was a save (plus he was nice). But the very last slow dance, he cought me. I just said "no thanks I'm tired", but he practicly stalked me! I liked him as a friend. Not like a boyfriend.

Now, my question is, has this ever happened to you? Where someone likes you, but you don't like them in that way? An' do you have any, ANY, advise for me?

P.S. Don't say I should go out with him, my friends already keep telling me that.[/COLOR]

[Japan]

This happened to me quite a few times. What I suggest you do is tell your teacher and your parents about him. That way, they can get it under control.

It works, trust me.

[dposse]

This is from a guys point of view.

I think that you need to tell as many people as you can that this boy is annoying you. The top three people that you need to tell are:

1) Your parents
2) Your Best Friends
3) Your Boy Friend

The reason i put your BoyFriend last is because your BoyFriend could take things too far. If your Boyfriend is over protective, or gets jelious easly, then telling him would be a bad idea. You should tell him when he isn't in a bad mood or anything like that.

You also need to explain to your friends that you don't like the kid. If they are your friends, they will be willing to help you get rid of him.

Another thing you should try to do is talk to the kid at lunch or something. Tell him that you got a Boy Friend and that you just like him as a friend, and nothing more.

I hope that i've helped.

[Ryoko T.D.C.]

[COLOR=Blue] I can't tell my friends. If I do, they'll say "Oh Olivia, you should go out with him, I mean your both short." Or, "Olivia, you both like the same things, so go out with him." My friends are annoying. I'm probably the smartest one in the group. The teachers at what used to be my middle school are [U][B][I]USELESS!!!!!!![/I][/B][/U] I told my parents and the told me to use them as my "way out". An' boyfriend? Hah! I don't have one yet. (Boys are just blinded by my beauty that they don't date me. LOL :laugh: )

The only people that really help are my parents.[/COLOR]

[I, Colossus]

Are you sure this guy isn't MaxSonic? :P

Just tell him that you just want to be friends. And if he persists further it's sexual harrasment, that could mean that you could do an assortment of things. If you tell your parents or a school official that you're genuinely afraid they are [i]required[/i] to do something. I would honestly just tell him to back off or you'll get [i]someone[/i] involved.

And if all else fails you can alway kick him in the groin. He'll get the picture.

[Momiji]

[QUOTE=Ryoko T.D.C.][COLOR=Blue] I can't tell my friends. If I do, they'll say "Oh Olivia, you should go out with him, I mean your both short." Or, "Olivia, you both like the same things, so go out with him." My friends are annoying. I'm probably the smartest one in the group. The teachers at what used to be my middle school are [U][B][I]USELESS!!!!!!![/I][/B][/U] I told my parents and the told me to use them as my "way out". An' boyfriend? Hah! I don't have one yet. (Boys are just blinded by my beauty that they don't date me. LOL :laugh: )

The only people that really help are my parents.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I just read about your little problem. Don't go out with a guy you find creepy. You'll get a boyfriend that will like you and not follow you around like a silly dog, Don't listen to your friends on this one

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Well, you're only in your early teens, so I guess I can't tell you that you should ask him to go out and look at china patterns this weekend and have an intiment dinner with you and your parents. Nor can I tell you to start carrying around a copy of Modern Bride. Becuase he may not get the idea. Even if you start talking about commitment.

It's too bad that your friends aren't being more helpful with this matter. You shouldn't be expected to go out with some guy just because he likes you and for the sake of having a boyfriend. That's like being in your mid twenties and people saying that you should marry some guy just so you'll have a husband and your biological clock is ticking. :rolleyes: This is a time when you need them and all they can say is you should go out with him? B.S.! What are they smoking? Maybe you should see if one of them would go out with him.

You said that you already told him you wouldn't go out with him and he won't take no for an answer. Since he won't take a simple no for an answer and you're no where near my age so you can't use the stuf I said at the beginning. You should definately try going to your parents if he keeps following you around. Maybe they can talk to his parents about it. Just hope they don't get the same way as your friends and try to tell you how it's cute that someone has a crush on you. If they say something like that. then the next time he comes up to you and won't leave, I say punch him. Maybe that will get the whole 'no' through his thick skull.[/color]

[Ryoko T.D.C.]

[COLOR=Blue] Yay! It's ChibiHorsewoman! I was waiten for you. An' I use my parents as "ways out". My friend, not naming ANY names, *coughSierraSweedencough* has already gone out with him (out of pitty mind you) and keeps telling me to go out with him. An' like I said before, [B]I'm[/B] practicly the smartest one in the whole group. Now, even if I was older, I still wouldn't give the time of day to go out with me. My mom saw what he looked like. She even said he ain't cute. She said he looked a little sasquache(sp?).

I really do wanna punch him sometimes. I mean, when we went to our 8th grade trip to Six Flags, HE WENT ON THE SAME F**KING RIDE AS ME!!!! :wigout: Like I said, he follows me everywhere![/COLOR]

[oshi]

Have you tried simply telling him straight out that you don't like him that way? That usually works, sort of. A conversation that says "Stop following me; I'm not going out with you," is more effective than "I'm not going to do anything w/you now, but I haven't actually closed myself off to you in a way you understand." Adolescent boy language is different than girl. Be blunt if you have to, but try first to be nice.

Stop it at the source before it becomes more of a problem. You're young and so is he; if you let him continue this and add it to his methods of problem-solving and girl-handling, it will follow you as long as he does.

This is not saying that it is completely your responsibility to deal with him. But if it's at a stage where it is not yet dangerous and only mildly creepy and a bit entertaining, then it is still safe to confront him. If it is past this stage and you feel threatened, don't try to deal with it yourself. Take steps toward protection, like telling your friends that you are sincerely uncomfortable and making this clear to your parents, as well.

And look at it this way . . . at least you don't have a stalker who is known in two schools as "the kid who climbs trees and falls asleep outside of girls' windows."

Like I do. :(

[Balmon]

That last bit sounds profoundly strange, Oshi. But I agree with your advice nonetheless.

But... I mean... this guy does sound incredibly annoying... do you suppose just ignoring would work? I mean... REALLY ignoring - not like... "OMIGOD, YOU'RE FOLLOWING ME AGAINNNNN..." (roll the eyes, make big humph, laugh with your friends and ignore him) but rather... just stone-cold ignore him. He may be taking ALL of your refusals as a Hard-To-Get trial.

You know?

Some guys (Me <- GUILTY) are just plain clueless and don't take hints well. No matter how large the hint.

So don't give any hint at all.

Phil

[Gelgoog Pilot]

Wow phil we should swap clueless stories once heh Bet it would be entertaining.

I believe you said you told him off in your own vocabulary right there is a hint that maybe you didn't just tell him flat out no. That's what I would do, I would make it clear as possible. He just sounds not really like a stalker but just, crushing you a bit to hard heh.

So I agree with those above, before you start making a huge deal by telling teachers and such and giving the dude a possible wrong and bad reputation just tell him. "Hey I like you as a friend but I don't want to date you ok" If he doesn't get the message there try telling him that he's being well creepy and that he's been making you uncomfortable. If he has any brains in his head he'll back off.

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]Say something along the lines of "You seem like an OK guy, but I'm not interested in any relationship much at the moment, and anyway, I don't see you as a boyfriend type person. Sorry, but that's it." And walk off. If he persists, threaten to tell other people.[/size]

[Rachael]

The way I see it is that your giving him subtle messages that your not intersted and its obviously not working because he is so thick. You have to tell him right to his face that your not interested and if you still want to be friends with this creep. Sounds harsh I know but your the one that has to end this......think of it this way...he'll only listen to you cus he's falling for you.....so he has to listen when you tell him your not interested.

[Guest Z fighter]

Ah just get someone to beat him up if he started to get too annoying. :blowup:

[Sara]

[quote name='Dan']Are you sure this guy isn't MaxSonic? :P [/quote][size=1]*quietly dies laughing*

There's not much I can tell you other than to let him know (not just [i]tell him[/i], mind, but actually get it through to him so he [i]knows[/i]) you don't want to go out with him. You'll save yourself a lot of awkwardness if you can do so.

Have you just finished eighth grade? If all else fails, you can probably avoid him during the summer. And even if you are going to the same high school next year, chances are you won't see each other that often.[/size]

[Charles]

A good portion of this problem is your own fault. I don't think you have a right to be angry with this person. I'm a little surprised so many people are rallying behind you here, ready to practically lynch this guy.

This is a boy who doesn't have many friends, meets someone, and develops a crush on them. I don't follow you--how is that creepy? You were never direct with him to begin with. Saying "no," in your language doesn't mean he's going to understand. Especially when "no" in your language is "Maybe next time" or blatantly lying. If you had been honest with him from the start, this problem wouldn't have manifested itself such as it has. In fact, being up-front at the dance would have been more courteous than allowing him to follow you around, watching you dance with other guys. He was latching on to you, most likely, because he's infatuated that a female has actually taken an interest in him and he can't see a truth that would be so apparent to anyone under normal circumstances.

I suggest you break it to him easily. Be clear and firm, but don't be rude. After all, you created this by acting strangely yourself. Ah well, that's my take on it anyway.

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Actually, Charles, I totally agree with you.

Even though the guy following you can be kind of creepy when you don't feel the same way, telling it to him straight should get him off your back. That way he'll know where he stands.

Who knows, him seeing you dance with other guys at the dance could have just made him want to 'flirt' with you more in an attempt to get you to like him instead.
Just tell him you want to be friends and that's it. I know it's hard, when I broke it off with my girlfriend I found it very hard to tell her even though I knew I didn't want to go out with her any more.

We're still best friends so nothing has gone wrong in that sense, don't worry about hurting his feelings because I'm sure he'll understand.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]PS If he doesn't you could always use a baseball bat to fend him off instead :sweat: [/COLOR]

[Ryoko T.D.C.]

[COLOR=Blue] Okay, in some ways, I also agree with you Charles. I hopped that would never have to happen too. lol. I never told teachers because he was harmless. Just a little creepy. I mean, even after I DID tell him I did't like him, he STILL kept at it. Like, on the second to last day at school, I had him sign my year book. Just to be nice and not rude because he asked if I could sign his. And this is what he put:

"So, some time would you come to the movies with me? *insert phone number*

I just kept thinking of the last day at school. An' those were the exact words![/COLOR]

[Chaos]

If you're so bothered about it, are you sure you don't like him?

That last part about "thinking of the last day at school" is really vague. Do you mean so that you'll be away from him for the summer? You couldn't get it out of your head all day?

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. You made a comment about blinding beauty earlier, and I don't know if you're being sarcastic or serious [I'm stuck in the middle of either because not a lot of girls would say that because of 1) on the sarcastic side, there wasn't much feeling in it, but 2) if you were serious, that would mean you're really, really conceited.], so I can't help but wonder if you shouldn't be used to it. And even still, has the thought of actually becoming his friend crossed your mind? Perhaps that's all he wants. Not likely, but possibly.

My overall advice follows somewhat with Charlie's; blame yourself, and then be open with him. The world is all about respect. If you can tell someone the plain and simple truth and still appreciate what someone has done for you, then there is nothing wrong.

[Ryoko T.D.C.]

[QUOTE=Chaos]If you're so bothered about it, are you sure you don't like him?

That last part about "thinking of the last day at school" is really vague. Do you mean so that you'll be away from him for the summer? You couldn't get it out of your head all day?

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. You made a comment about blinding beauty earlier, and I don't know if you're being sarcastic or serious [I'm stuck in the middle of either because not a lot of girls would say that because of 1) on the sarcastic side, there wasn't much feeling in it, but 2) if you were serious, that would mean you're really, really conceited.], so I can't help but wonder if you shouldn't be used to it. And even still, has the thought of actually becoming his friend crossed your mind? Perhaps that's all he wants. Not likely, but possibly.

My overall advice follows somewhat with Charlie's; blame yourself, and then be open with him. The world is all about respect. If you can tell someone the plain and simple truth and still appreciate what someone has done for you, then there is nothing wrong.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Blue]I don't like him that way. He is nice, but as a friend. An' I was thinking of the last day of school. I wanted it to be done and over with. Oh, and on the one hand, [B]I AM NOT CONCEITED!!!!!!!!!![/B] :mad: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!!!! I ALWAYS JOKE AROUND WITH MY FRIENDS AND I ALWAYS SAY THAT!!!! :mad: :mad: :flaming: :flaming:

Cooling down....I'm okay now. I am his FRIEND, but I know he want's to be more then that. Trust me. Okay, I do blame myself for some things. Like not saying no right away. BUT, I don't blame myself for wanting to be his FRIEND. Now I'm not in the happiest of moods, and after reading your post just now, I'm not that much happier. So, thank you very much. :D [/COLOR]

[Rachael]

[QUOTE=Charles]
This is a boy who doesn't have many friends, meets someone, and develops a crush on them. I don't follow you--how is that creepy? You were never direct with him to begin with. Saying "no," in your language doesn't mean he's going to understand. Especially when "no" in your language is "Maybe next time" or blatantly lying. If you had been honest with him from the start, this problem wouldn't have manifested itself such as it has. In fact, being up-front at the dance would have been more courteous than allowing him to follow you around, watching you dance with other guys. He was latching on to you, most likely, because he's infatuated that a female has actually taken an interest in him and he can't see a truth that would be so apparent to anyone under normal circumstances.

I suggest you break it to him easily. Be clear and firm, but don't be rude. After all, you created this by acting strangely yourself. Ah well, that's my take on it anyway.[/QUOTE]

wow i never thought of it that way.....i sappose i was alittle harsh on my first post but it all depends on the type of person he is......but im sure most women would find it creepy even though they no i doesn't intend it to be creepy

[Guest VelvetNightmare]

[COLOR=DimGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Century Gothic]i have a friend who had a similar problem. she didnt mind this guy as a friend, but he seriously stocked her and told her he loved her and stuff.
i guess you could say this is the extremity of what could happen, but i honestly think this is very possible in ur situation if you dont do something.
now on what i think you should do, i think you should talk to him. he obviously doesnt understand how you feel or he justs likes peskering you. dont lose heart though. sometimes its not a big deal.
and what happened to my friend, is that she got so pissed at the dude, yelled at him that she hated him, and he stopped. and thats that. but i m pretty sure she is no longer friends with him, because he annoyed her so much.
i hope this is of any use to you. and i wish you the best luck. :) [/FONT] [/SIZE] [/COLOR]

[Dragon Warrior]

This happens to me way too often. Online and offline. But it matters more offline. (And it occurs more often offline too). I'm picky about who I date ('tis true :^o) and I don't date just anyone, hott or not. I'm the kind of guy who will go out with only someone he likes. So, naturally, I like choice people. Then there are those who do like me and ask me out (hott or not). Its tough to dodge that kind of bullet. One time, I even avoided the person 'cause I knew they were gonna ask me out. I then had some friends bodyguard me for a week. Not one of my proudest moments, but I hate to break their heart (and I do it so often too :<). Sad thing is, I'm trying to get this girl I like, but complications come along. This sort of thing is full of complications. Sucks, huh?

Not really any way to dodge it. Whether putting them down softly or harshly, its gotta happen.

And hey, they don't call me teh sexy beast on these boards for nothin'. ;) I know what I'm talkin' about.

[Ayokano]

...... I wonder if Maxsonic ever got over that X_X....

If the kid is going to still ask you to be his girlfriend, but you just want to be friends and tell him that, just break-up the friendship. But not all drama-ie and rude like. Just cut to the point. Seeing how he doesn't respect what relationship he has with you now,and your wishes to keep it at that, I think it would get the point across.

That is what lack of sleep does.... turns you into Dr. Phil =_=;;;

[Guest XBebop]

If he asks you two to three times and you say 'no" or something that means "no" and then he asks again, I say tell him to: "***** off ya' stupid *ss I don't wanna get hitched wit' y'all!", or something less southern than that...But on a more serious note, say 'NO!" and walk away, if he follows, make something up like this: " I jut aw a cop go around the corner. If you keep following me i'll take it as stalking ".

That's my 2½ cents. sorta...