Engel Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [COLOR=Slategray][SIZE=1] Hello fellow OBers. Well, to get down to the point, there is this girl that I am good friends with, and we IM talk and sometimes even go to the movies or something. She and I don't really consider ourselfs boyfriend and girlfriend, but I really like her. We share intrests, like playing video games and watching anime, but, if she doesn't want to go out with me, will it spoil our friendship? So, what I am really saying, is that, should I ask her out, and if she says no, will we still be able to be friends?[/COLOR][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BondFanatic Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 The only way you'll find out is if you ask her out. Just go for it. If she says no, than don't worry about it. It sounds like you two are really good friends, and if she turns you down, I don't think it'll affect it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryoko T.D.C. Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [COLOR=Blue] Well, if you to have things in common and you two get along great, then ask her. I mean, if you two go out for awhile, and you like it, than good job! :) But if it starts to seem weird or go bad, then go back to being friends. It'll just show you that your better friends instead of girl/boyfriends.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gelgoog Pilot Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Well Being good friends will help im most relationships because you have the 'being comfortable with eachother' phase under control. Unless of course you're like me and sometimes clam up with the girl you like heh Im cursed! Besides freindship and all I'd say it depends on the person. In my experience I either still talk to my ex's or don't Hell Im better friends with one after we broke up than before. But still I've tried the whole wait for life to hand you something, it doesn't work you have to persue what you want otherwise it'll pass you by. AND SHE LIKES PLAYING VIDEOGAMES MAN! How often do you find girls who like videogames that much? I sure wish i could find one heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [QUOTE=SephirothX][COLOR=Slategray][SIZE=1] Hello fellow OBers. Well, to get down to the point, there is this girl that I am good friends with, and we IM talk and sometimes even go to the movies or something. She and I don't really consider ourselfs boyfriend and girlfriend, but I really like her. We share intrests, like playing video games and watching anime, but, if she doesn't want to go out with me, will it spoil our friendship? So, what I am really saying, is that, should I ask her out, and if she says no, will we still be able to be friends?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/QUOTE] [color=darkviolet]Myself and some of my friends (including my husband 0 have been in simular situations. You can look at this situation at a few different angles [b]1.)[/b] You tell her that you like her as more than a friend. There's an awkward silence. Then she says," sorry, but we can never be more than friends". or "I just can't think of us that way." And then after that confession the relationship strains a bit and you end up losing a good friend. That would be the pessemistic POV on the subject. Who knows, you may actually be able to be friends if your confession and her reply go that way. So don't take that one to heart. [b]2.)[/b] You tell her that you like her as more than a friend and would like to go out on a date [i]date[/i]. She says why the hell not. And the next thing you know you guys are an exclusive couple and end up getting married. (Not bloody likely at the ripe old age of fifteen or so) That one happened with me. Of course I'm probably a bit older than you so maybe the ending scenerio won't be exactly like that. But hey if you get your first long term serious relationship out of the deal and you don't end up with any hard feelings, well, more power to you. [b]3.)[/b] You tell her that you like her as more than a friend and would like to go out on a date [i]date[/i]. She says why the hell not. You guys date for a few months and decide that it just won't work and try being just friends again. Which is actually all you guys will end up being so there are no hard feelings on either side. This one is almost like scenerio two with the exception of marriage. Lincoln (my hubby) had a friend like this named Alison. I don't know what happened to her all I know is that when he was up here in December he found out she was pregnant. [b]4.)[/b] YYou tell her that you like her as more than a friend and would like to go out on a date [i]date[/i]. She says why the hell not. You go out for a while then break up. However, neither (or one of) you can't seem to get around the fact that for a while you two were a couple. So then your friendship disolves. Yes, another pessemistic outlook. But sometimes you have to look at these things from both sides. Whichever one you chose, I hope your outcome isn't too bad. infact I hope it's pretty good.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 I think some of this may be needlessly overcomplicating the situation. If you like the girl, ask. If she says no, then just drop it. The only real issue that could come between you two if you are good friends would be created because you wouldn't give up. Constant badgering is not a good quality. If she says yes, well then you're all set heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Considerably ask her on her opinion about taking your relationship to the next level. That way, you'll understand how she feels about it. In my opinion, it's better than her just saying 'no' right off the bat. (That's just how I see it.) Though if she likes the idea of being girlfriend/boyfriend, the by Joe go on! ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baron Samedi Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [size=1]This stuff is dynamic...it can change depending on the day, depending on the people. Caution is great, but sometimes hanging back leaves you behind. And you'll never win if you stay behind [i]all[/i] of the time.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Engel Posted July 8, 2004 Author Share Posted July 8, 2004 [COLOR=Slategray][SIZE=1] Thanks for all of your advice. This has really helped me out. Thanks again![/COLOR][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachael Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 I agree with eli asking her opinion about it would be better than suprise asking her to take it to the next level.....You also have to remember that if it does work out and you do start datin g, remember that you guys at some point we'll break up (that sounds harsh but i doubt your gonna stay with her forever) and it might not end the way you expect...something could go wrong and then your friendship could get ruined.....so you have to ask yourself "are you prepared to take that chance?" also alittle note: most girls can tell if a guy likes her so she might already know. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady_Sango Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [QUOTE=Gelgoog Pilot]Well Being good friends will help im most relationships because you have the 'being comfortable with eachother' phase under control. Unless of course you're like me and sometimes clam up with the girl you like heh Im cursed! Besides freindship and all I'd say it depends on the person. In my experience I either still talk to my ex's or don't Hell Im better friends with one after we broke up than before. But still I've tried the whole wait for life to hand you something, it doesn't work you have to persue what you want otherwise it'll pass you by. AND SHE LIKES PLAYING VIDEOGAMES MAN! How often do you find girls who like videogames that much? I sure wish i could find one heh.[/QUOTE] Is it really that hard to find girls who like playing videogames that much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balmon Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 YES YES YES YES YES YES YES IT IS. When you find a girl that enjoys videogames, you will cross the River Styx, climb to Mount Olympus, traverse the Gobi Desert, and battle Zeus himself, all to keep that girl. It's true. Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyriel Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Frankly, all the guys I've met know I play video games, but they obviously don't chase after me through every greek myth. Is it because I beat them?-_- Ah, and for the asking out thing... Well, I've never really understood why exactly you have to "ask someone out." Personally, I think that's the stupidest thing in the world. I mean, you ask if you want to be boyfriend/girfriend? From what I've seen, I think relationships are better when they just kind of form on their own. So I'd say don't ask, and just try to become more than a friend to her. Then you don't have the awkward question that can result in awkward answers/silences, which can result in an uncomfortable friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuyashaLvr Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [quote name='Gelgoog Pilot']AND SHE LIKES PLAYING VIDEOGAMES MAN! How often do you find girls who like videogames that much? I sure wish i could find one heh.[/quote] [COLOR=RoyalBlue]heh?¡?¡ :confused: I luv video games!!!! Sheesh! Alot of girls do! At least I think they do... Oh great I just made a complete idiot of myself... Wonderful.. Oh well... I'll live... :o Anyway, SephirothX go for it!!! You two are great friends and even if she did say no, it wouldn't effect your friendship! :) Good luck![/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilt Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [size=1][color=purple]I would say that Cyriel's solution is one of the best pieces of advice I have heard yet. It worked for me with my girl problems, and it should work for you, too. You say you already go to movies with her, (are you alone with her or do you go out with a group?) just invite her to more movies or find out where she likes to hang out and bring her to one of those places instead. Soon, you guys will gradually have a good relationship.[b] The only problem with this is if she doesn't feel the same way you do and you come on to her too strongly.[/b] (You don't want her to be surprised when you kiss her. lol. :p ) I hope this helped a bit, Sephy. :D [/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [quote name='Lady_Sango']Is it really that hard to find girls who like playing videogames that much?[/quote] [color=darkviolet]Uh yeah. I'm okay with RPGs but I'm not too good with video games. Of course, it could just be the age. My friend, Jessica is seven years younger than me and she likes video games, anime, manga and being on the computer. Then again, it's also hard for a girl to find a guy who doesn't mind playing video games with a girl and isn't such a freak that when a girl starts doing 'guy' things he doesn't do stupid stuff. So maybe Sephy chan has a chance.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady_Sango Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 [QUOTE=InuyashaLvr][COLOR=RoyalBlue]heh?¡?¡ :confused: I luv video games!!!! Sheesh! Alot of girls do! At least I think they do... Oh great I just made a complete idiot of myself... Wonderful.. Oh well... I'll live... :o I love video games too....i didn't think it was that hard to find a girl who liked video games..its not like we're that rare or anything.....hmmm...oh well ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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