shadow15 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [COLOR=DarkRed]I'm 15 and I have a boyfriend and his name is henry he really likes me before we were b/f and g/f we were really good friends. I want to break up with him without hurting him to bad I need some suggestions please. :confused:. Also to put the chery on top I really like one of his good friends and he really likes me what do I do??? luv ash[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [color=darkslategray][size=1]Well, I know I speak for alot of females out there. We've been through this situation at least once before. And in my experience, I've found that it is very hard to do. [b]Yet[/b], after it was all said and done, everything seemed easier. Of course, there was time in between when he and I didn't talk much, but don't let that scare you. If you two are really good friends, and he cares about you, you have nothing to worry about. It will take time for him to come around, but he will.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 You're going to make him cry no matter what you do. Just dump him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayashi Hansuke Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 For me, if my gf wanna break up with me, it's ok as long she has a very valid reason. If the reason does not really justifies our breakup, I will object. But if that reason is like "she doesn't like me anymore", then for me as his ex-bf, will let her go so that I can show her how much I love him. I know your'e suprised for me being a boy giving help in this kind of relationships. Trust me, I've been on almost many kind of situation like that because all of my friends seek advice from me. But the best way you should do is to talk to him and explain why you want to break-up. If he really loves you, he will understand. And besides, you are still good friends. You say your'e inlove with his good friend? Definately, he would be hurt. That's why you must explain clearly your side to him. I'm sure he will think and imagine so many things like "Is there something wrong with me? Am i ugly? Am I not good?" and those things will surely make his self-confidence goes rocketing down. I'm sure, you as a friend won't like to happen this. Remember just talk to him and say your side to him clearly and also you must hear his side too. If he wants a second chance and if he is really worth it, why won't give him a chance. Hope I have helped you a little bit in your problem. Hayashi Hansuke- Dr. Love of Otakuboards:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seibzeihn Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I'm inclined to agree with Harry on this one...heh :D Err... On a serious note, I'm also somewhat in agreement with Hayashi. If you have a valid reason, then more power to you. Just make sure you explain things completely and thoroughly. Also, make sure to hear his side of the story. HOWEVER, it sounds like you're ready to break up with him even if he pleads for a second chance (which will probably be 'his side' of the story, since he's the one being broken up with), thus I can't really emphasize that.... What I will say, though, is thus: (Hayashi, don't take offense to this, but I'm just trying to throw in a different opinion) You say you're fifteen. Chances are your boyfriend is probably around the same age (no, I'm not asking for ages, I'm just speculating). Thus, the phrase 'If he loves you, he'll understand' IMHO is irrelevant. While I hate people who say that you have to be older to experience true 'love', in this case I'm going to insert what I would do if I was fifteen and in the same situation. Not only do you want to break up with the poor guy, you also have a thing for his best friend. At fifteen, even if he DID love you, that's enough to make most people flip out. And chances are he will -- hell, I would too. I think his reaction is at least [i]somewhat[/i] justified. Unfortunately, there's really no other way to do this. So just grin and bear at, and say what needs to be said. One warning though -- if you're dating his best friend, chances are it will take him quite some time to get over that fact. During which, he probably won't want to be anywhere near either of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mad Acer Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 or you could just start being a total ***** all the time and try to get him to break up w/ you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikoshi-Sama Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I hate to say it but no matter what you really do or say in this situation isn't going to make things better. Overall things are just going to get worse.....there's no real way to break up with someone without them getting hurt. It's sorta happens in all cases so there's no real way to avoid it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZakuSage Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Well if I were in your situation I would just go for it. Tell him how you really liked being friends more then going out, and that you'd like to go back to that. If you think he's alright with this, then do something as friends sometime within a few days with other friends. As for trying to go out with the other guy, remember to wait at least a little bit after breaking up with the first guy before you ask him out. Thats the end of my advice on the matter. I wish I could help you more, but I don't know the specifics of the situation and it's hard give anything more then a generic answer. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gelgoog Pilot Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Heh well there is ONE way it would end happily...say if yu mentioned breaking up and he actually had been thinking of it too (trust me...experience). He'll be sort of glad but you know if he's smart he won't jump up and down screaming yes. That prolly won't happen I mean I was just being...well humorus. Take it from a guy who has always been dumped in relationships. He prolly won't like it but WILL get over it. Though the liking his best friend thing...I'd advise waiting a while to follow through on any plans. It'll look bad, make him feel bad, possibly ruin thier friendship and thus make you feel bad. If all of those things don't convince you then well good luck, no one is THAT reasonable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow15 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 hey thanks you seem pretty nice so I don't understand why you get dumped? If you ever needed any advice on girls my email adress is [email][email protected][/email] well talk to you later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [color=darkviolet]Like Harry said, you'll end up making him cry anyway. (Whoa, this is like the time I agreed with Deathbug-time for the sky to fall!) The best you can do is try to make it easier on him. But you said that you and his friend have a bit of a thing for eachother. How big is this thing and how long has he been friends with the guy? If it hasn't been a long friendship between the two of them it shouldn't be too much a of problem, unless of course the guy you're with now is a closet basket case then he may show up somewhere and go ape **** on you. Like while you're working then call your house and say stupid things on your voicemail. If it has been a long friendship and they're either pretty close friends or the guy you're with sees them as clsoer than the other guy that you may start going out with does. Well, You also have the above to look foward to. Still I say go for it. Break up with the guy and date his friend because you only live once and it's not like the two of you have kids together or a mortgage or even a car payment or rent. Hell I ended marrying the guy who was friends with my ex. Which, coincidentally is why I know that some guys go ape **** . Besides, it's not like guys don't go for their friends girlfriends in the first place or friends of their girlfriends. (Case in point, my husband, my brother, my friend's brother...) Just remember what the country song says: Guys do it all the time! So you're just doing what they do.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hevn Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [quote name='Mad Acer']or you could just start being a total ***** all the time and try to get him to break up w/ you.[/quote] [COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B] :laugh: Been there, done that. You could make him be the one to break up with you. It's one option people do so that it won't be theire fault if people ask what went wrong in the relationship. That would also give you all the right to date or go out with anyone you like including his bestfriend. Easier said than done though. I did it the wrong way. I was giving my ex the silent treatment and he have no idea what was happening. He finally broke up with me. I did it all because my feelings for him was not there anymore and I'm starting to like one of his friends. I couldn't make a move with his friend out of respect or him. After the break-up, I learned his friend returned my feelings and after 3 months he was already boyfriend. I never talked with my ex since we broke up and though he and him are still talking... I'm sure they are pretty uncomfortable with each other. Okay enough of me, I guess its true that when a girl breaks up with a guy, the girl normally would not tell the truth as to why she is breaking up with him. You have a choice to make up a lot of excuses or you could tell him the truth. Either way, his heart will break. You also have to consider wether you're deciding to push through with a relationship with his friend coz that would be risking the two guys' friendship. In a nutshell: Break up with him if you don't love him anymore. God...Me and my mouth says a lot for what should only be a one sentence comment.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet]Like Harry said, you'll end up making him cry anyway. (Whoa, this is like the time I agreed with Deathbug-time for the sky to fall!) The best you can do is try to make it easier on him. [/color][/QUOTE] I see you've finally come around to the proper way of thinking For the people that are telling her to make him break up with her, that's such a stupid idea I can't believe you said it. First of all it makes her look like a ***** in front of all her friends/his friends. Second of all it'll most likely make him despise her. And all for what? Because she can't say "I don't want to be with you"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AkaneGirl89 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I use to have a boyfriend who was my best friend. When I decided to break up with him I didn't write him a letter or tell someone to tell him. I told him I needed to talk to him. I told him that I couldn't stay bf and gf. He understood and I told him that he's my best friend. Till this day we are still best friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hevn Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [quote name='Harry']For the people that are telling her to make him break up with her, that's such a stupid idea I can't believe you said it. First of all it makes her look like a ***** in front of all her friends/his friends. Second of all it'll most likely make him despise her. And all for what? Because she can't say "I don't want to be with you"?[/quote] [COLOR=RoyalBlue][B][SIZE=1]I'm sort of feeling guilty or something... ^_^x I didn't say it is such a good idea. I even think it is a selfish idea and I feel bad I sort of did it. What I'm saying is it is reality that a lot of people ar doing this and people are getting away from it. For most men they hardly know it's been done to them. That's how cruel some girls can be I admit. Besides, noone would know that she made him break up with him anyways unless she tells someone about it, which I doubt she will coz as you said it will make her look like ***** in front of people. As I said, it is not such a good idea and I sarcastically said that in my first paragraph. :sweat: [/SIZE] [/B] [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [quote name='Harry']I see you've finally come around to the proper way of thinking [/quote] [color=darkviolet]Either that or you finally said something worth agreeing with. :p Think of it this way. If she ends up making him break up with her by suddenly being rude or obnoxious in some way, don't you think his friends would find out about it? Including said friend who she wishes to start going out with. That would be a bad thing because the guy who she likes now would probably end up thinking that she'll do the same to him when she's tired of the relationship. So in conclusion she wouldn't be doing herself any good by being dishonest. She at least owes her soon to be ex that. Trust me, I did that once to another guy and I felt pretty bad about it. Yeah, so he made comments about my chest size. But I could have told him that the reason I was breaking up with him was because I thought he was a jerk instead of acting like one myself[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hevn Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 [QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman] Trust me, I did that once to another guy and I felt pretty bad about it. Yeah, so he made comments about my chest size. But I could have told him that the reason I was breaking up with him was because I thought he was a jerk instead of acting like one myself[/color][/QUOTE] [COLOR=RoyalBlue][B][SIZE=1]True that. And I forgot to mention my ex also bad mouthed me after that. I felt I deserved it but I finally had the guts to tell him in his face why I broke up with him. He was mad though... :( [/SIZE] [/B] [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mad Acer Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Yeah well I know people who have sacrificed their dignity like that and it worked out fine. It just depends on what type of situation you're in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Well to put it in fewest words possible, looks like your f**ked. Just tell him your pregnant, he'll break up with you really fast and you won't have to hurt him at all. And then go sleep with his good friend. Anyway, seems to me like you have a lot of problems other than this boyfriend, girlfriend junk. Maybe you should sort out your own life before you go worrying about other's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 If you break up with him, and then end up being with one of his best mates, he isn't gonna jump at the idea of "staying friends" with you. To put it simply, he ain't gonna want to even see you around for a long, [i]long[/i] time. I'm saying that based on what I've been through. ..there [i]is[/i] the chance of a different outcome. I'm just one of those "guys" I suppose... that takes ages to get over a break-up.. when you look at it.. :rolleyes: .. but I'm not the only one. ;) Trust me. This "Henry" could well be the damn same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burori Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Fall no offense but that is bull ****. I have been in many breakups and in the end stayed best friends with all my exs. Other than my first but there is a reason for that. Just give it to him nicely. Say that you enjoyed being with him but you don't feel very strongly about him but you'd like to remain good friends. Either way you play this you'll hurt him but trust me when I say try to stay friends with him, it'll pay off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 [QUOTE=Burori]Fall no offense but that is bull ****. I have been in many breakups and in the end stayed best friends with all my exs. Other than my first but there is a reason for that. [/QUOTE]I'm sure you have. But did you break-up with your ex, then chase his best mate? Not every guy takes that to the good side. What I said ain't ******** when you have a think 'bout it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burori Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 O.o too true. I forgot that detail.... Hun your are in trouble heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 [QUOTE=Burori]Fall no offense but that is bull ****. I have been in many breakups and in the end stayed best friends with all my exs. Other than my first but there is a reason for that. [/QUOTE] I've never heard of such a ridiculous thing in my life. I can't think of anyone that's been best friends with their ex, especially at the percentage you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InuyashaLvr Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 [quote name='Harry']...I can't think of anyone that's been best friends with their ex...[/quote] [COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=2]Well... It can happen! Two of my ex bfs are still my friends! They've actually turned into more of brother figures now! It's really awesome if you do keep a friend after a breakup, because you get closer to them! :D Good luck with the whole bf thingy. Me personally wouldn't go out with his friend until me and my bf were settled and still friends. But if you go after his friend a.s.a.p. after the break up, sorry to say but you're f***ed up!!! Well..Yeah... I'm done..[/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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