Writing Love Triangle [PG for some suggestive material]

[JJ]

Well this is just the prolouge, but I do have more if anyone is interested. It is a Harry Potter fanfic, of sorts. It has nothing todo with Harry or the fight with darkness.


It all began on that fateful day in September. The Gryfindors were in an uproar. There was to be a ?student exchange? program. It was to happen between Gryfindor and one other random house. Everyone in Gryfindor was arguing about which house it would be. The one thing they could all agree on was that it shouldn?t be Slytherin.

Suddenly the portrait hole swung open. Everyone had suddenly sucked in a breath, as if the air supply was gone and they wanted one last breath. A tall hat and an even taller figure stepped through the hole. It was the head of Gryfindor, Minerva McGonagall, or to the students, Professor McGonagall. Behind her trailed the two new students. Everyone tried to peer around the professor. All anyone could see was a flash of silver. The professor cleared her throat and any chatter ceased. ?Gryfindor? she started ?This is your new student, Draco Malfoy.?

[Lady Asphyxia]

[font=Verdana][size=1]I think, generally, a Prologue should be longer and sort of give a background of what's happened. Perhaps you should include a part where Dumbledore announces the plans for the program, and the main character's reactions..or something. [As a little aside, Gryffindor has two 'f's.][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]I like the description of 'a tall hat and a taller figure'. It's really quite a nice description. But as you go on, you ignore the second student, and it would be nice to find out who the second student was. Obviously your story is about Draco, but if you include the other student it would be more natural. [/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]Other than that, some more description would probably be nice. Tell us about the rooms, or certain people's reactions [Like Ron Weasley's -- it'd probably be quite funny] or something. To draw the reader in. *nods* [/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]But it was a good start. Please continue.[/size][/font]

[JJ]

*beats evil head of moving people and screwing them over down senseless.*
Sorry for the wait but we had to move, sooooo I haven't posted it. Thanks for the comments, but I think the next part might clear up some stuff or confuse you alot more.
Note: I thought about and realized that this was a little backwards.


Lavender

My day was *hell. All day it was this and that about him. Sitting here and thinking about only makes me madder at Parvarti. I mean really did she have to say something? Life probably will get better, but I think she could have kept her mouth shut. I could have kept my mouth shut too.

We were sitting in Divisions, just grasping every word that the professor said. Parvarti and I had few classes that we didn?t sit and giggle over something. Divisions weren?t one of them. This lesson was interesting, because it could predict certain things in your future. This technique involved using tea leaves and crystal balls.

Looking into the tea I had just finished I tried to decipher the shapes. In my mind I saw a lightening bolt and a star, but Parvarti pointed out that the star was actually a heart. I looked again, and saw that the lightening bolt had turned into an eye, but it looked like there was a slit in between the two sides.

We quickly turned to the book to see what the interpretation was. A heart, the book explained, meant true love. The eye meant that ?it? would be found after personal sorrow. We replaced it with true love and giggled. It seemed like every time we did fortune telling one of the messages had to do with love, but this was the first mention of true love. Now the trick was to use the ?Picturamous? spell to transfer the prediction of the leaves to the crystal ball.

As I said the incantation my thoughts turned to elsewhere. Assuming that he was it, I hoped to glimpse him kissing me or something like that, but it didn?t. Sadly, it showed me weeping and some arms around me and the two of us rocked back and forth, as I sobbed quietly. I squealed, an instant reaction. Parvarti leaned over to see, but the image faded. I waited for her to shoot me the normal ?what-now-I ?want-to-know!? look.

She did, and I quickly spilled everything. Right after, she let out a scream, louder than my squeal. Everyone in class turned towards us, but we didn?t notice. She started spitting out question, after question, as if she were some kind of robot. I tried to answer some of them, but they kept coming out. I finally had to put my finger over my lips, because the professor was walking over. She asked me a question or two about the image I saw and then left. I had quickly told her that I saw a giant cockroach eating my parents. She nodded her head and continued on. I let out a small breath that I had been holding since I had shushed Parvarti. I slowly turned my head to Parvarti. I slowly nodded to her and just sat in a trance. Next thing I knew, class was over and everyone was packing up. I shot at look at him, and saw he was happy. A smile went from one end of his face to the other. I secretly smiled too. Life was good.

That didn?t last. As soon as we left class, Parvarti started flapping her big mouth. One minute the girl next to her was sulking, the next she was smiling and pointing at me. After about two seconds, I realized what had happened. She was laughing at me about him.

I shot Parvarti the most evil look I knew, and then left the hallway heading for the commons room. There I kind of sat in a corner, and quietly sobbed. No one really noticed, but I still didn?t feel like talking.

I had to go to class, so out into the world I went. From the time it took to get to Transfiguration, I had already felt like my world had collapsed. Everywhere I went there were girls and guys alike in a huddle. Every time I passed they shot a look and me and tried to stifle a giggle. It hurt like *hell, and no one cared. That was what hurt the worst.

Sitting through class was hard. I had spaced myself away from Parvarti, so I sat alone. At all meals, all the other houses just kind of pointed and laughed. The hardest part, by far was from Gryffindor. They just kind of sat there not caring. Not even people who usually are there to help cared. Then I realized that it was he who did that. At that pointed I affixed myself to that corner and just sat and cried. It hurt so much, not form the words, but because all I had on my mind was his name. Seamus, Seamus Finnegan.

Please forgive me. If anyone else likes this I will post the next part.

EDIT: Well, That wasn't the reaction I was hoping for. lol. *listens to crickets* This should have been before the other one.

-Ron

Running! But from what? Oh that. An interesting secret, a bad one that no one should know... Wait, it?s not bad, just different. One destined to ruin the entire school, but why? Could it be because so many people? Now it?s a new house? Eh what?s up with this? Why do these things seem so important? Why?.

?Yo! Stupid, wake up! The new student?s here.? A voice said.

I just kind of lazily opened my eyes hoping that I wasn?t in the commons area asleep. Of course, I was. I noticed that McGonagall was standing over everyone with her ?I?m-really-sorry-but? look. She started to say something, but she stopped. She then continued, ?This is the new exchange student Draco Malfoy. I believe,? she stopped, obviously disgusted. ?You all will know him. I expect you to treat him like you would Mr. Potter, or Ms. Grainger.? She ended and stepped out of the commons room.

I could feel the tension rise as Draco shot his evil looks around the room. Suddenly, the silence that was felt all over the commons room was broken by Lavender. She was sobbing and heaving, sounding very bad. Draco glance immediately fell to her. I suddenly felt obliged to stand up in her defense. ?Ok look you silver haired freak.? I started feeling confident. ?I, like the others, are not going to put up with your crap. We run a relatively sound commons room, and don?t expect much out of anyone. All any of us ask is that you do not engage in conflict. Frankly, you don?t want an entire house against you.? At this, I sat down again, watching the people filter out of the commons room, not noticing the anger boiling over in Malfoy. It must have killed him to take that. I smirked feeling good about myself.

Quite suddenly, Draco walked over to Lavender. I shot up from the couch walking over to him. Before I got there, he had already finished, and Lavender suddenly began very openly weeping. She started heaving with her sobs, and I thought at one point she was going to throw up. I quickly walked over to her and sat on the ground next to her. I tried to say something, but she wouldn?t hear me. So, I sat and kind of tapped her. She suddenly stopped sobbing and looked up at me. Her big brown eyes sort of caused my well of pity to overflow. I started ?Lavender, I don?t think I can really help you, but if you need to talk about stuff, I?m here.? I stopped and kind of flopped myself on the ground. She said something muffled, but I couldn?t hear it. I kind of gave up, and headed over to the dorm rooms, to see if Seamus was there.

As I climbed those stairs I began to think. What if Draco was a spy for Snape? What if reported back to him that I copy Hermione?s homework? I would hate for that to get out. Some days these problems didn?t matter, but it wouldn?t help if there was a spy.

When I reached the landing for the sixth year students, I look into the dormitory. Seamus was on his bed, just sitting there staring out into space. I walked up and sat on my bed, which was next to his. I tried to speak, but I had no clue what to say. I mean, what am I supposed to ask? ?Hey Seamus, why won?t you talk to Lavender? She?s totally got the hots for you.? That to me sounded to dang stupid. So I just at there watching Seamus. He suddenly turned around and muffled a scream. I must have scared him. I laughed and tried to say something. The only thing that came to mind was ?Hey Seamus can I ask you a question??

He looked at me funny, and then replied. ?Sure, why??

?Well, I was wondering why you weren?t talking to Lavender. I thought that since she liked you, you would take advantage of the situation. At this point, she?s sitting on the floor sobbing and crying. She can?t even talk Seamus. You have made her normally happy-go-lucky life *hell.? I said putting emphasis on *H-E-L-L.

His reaction, like I had anticipated, was of total shock. ?Really, I just thought, well I mean I thought that she was just crying because, oh man.? He said throwing his gaze anywhere but on me.

As I watched him I tried to find something to say. Tonight, it seemed like I was at a loss for words. He just kind of sat there, beginning to glimpse the room around us. I then said a muffled good-bye and went downstairs to check on Lavender. She had left the floor, and sat on the couch silently sipping the cup of Pumpkin juice I had left her before I left. I plopped myself next to her and sat there. Hopefully, she would open up to me if I sat there. Tonight was probably up there with the adventures I?ve had with Harry. I don?t know why, but it seems like something not nice is going to happen, and its going to happen soon.