Writing SM2 Fan Fic

[DeathBug]

[font=comic sans ms][size=1][color=indigo][center]MAJOR Spider-Man 2 spoilers.

[spoiler][b]Vindicated[/b]
By DeathBug[/center]

[i]He passed the stages of his age and youth
Entering the whirlpool
Gentile or Jew
O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.[/i]
-TS Elliot

I really should have recognized the inherent danger in the whole proposal when I compared the reaction to the power of the Sun. It seems so obvious in retrospect; the Sun is a huge a potent source of energy, but it?s simply and obviously beyond the ability of Man to harness. If I?d approached the project with more caution, perhaps things might have turned out for the better. I could be at home with Rose sipping tea by the fire, instead of waist-deep in water, reducing my life?s work to rubble.

I can?t tell if Parker and his girlfriend have escaped yet, and I can?t stop to look; between the physical stress of sinking the reactor and the mental stress of subduing the tentacles? AI, I am very occupied. I have confidence that they will, though. Parker is a living example of my own philosophies, using the gifts bestowed upon him for the good of Mankind. It makes sense, now, why Harry didn?t slay Spider-Man. Parker is Spider-Man, it really makes perfect sense?explains why he always is able to get those photographs, and why Spider-Man appeared so quickly at the demonstration.

The demonstration was where I lost Rose, and a piece of myself. Things would have been better if I had died that day as well. I really should have; my calculations were off, and the resulting pandemonium was directly my fault. I should have realized that immediately, but the arms? AI distracted me.
No! I shouldn?t allow myself to excuse my actions any longer! The AI system took advantage of me, yes, but I should have been focused enough to overcome it! Instead, I wallowed in my own self-pity and let myself?kill.

?I will not die a monster!?

I killed. I took human life. The reactor platform is collapsing now, as it should. It has to. I won?t let anyone else die, certainly not for my own self-gratification. The hospital, the bank, the train?I killed, and I didn?t care. What mattered, other than my own ambitions?

The arms are urging me to stop, trying to re-exert influences over my psyche. I won?t let them. I will not let them. I hesitate for just a second to reflect on the irony of my situation, worthy of prose: the arms are a physical embodiment of what I allowed to happen to my life. I allowed my work to consume me, loosing sight of what mattered. I lost so much time. Rose.

No one dies wishing they had spent more time at the office. Rose often told me that in many of my late nights in the lab. I should have listened. I shouldn?t have stopped learning new poems to recite to her, or missing meals together, or a thousand different displays of love and devotion.

The fusion core is sinking now; I?ve succeeded. The arms are trying again to exert control; the AI?s self-preservation program is engaging in a sensation almost comparable to panic. It senses danger to its existence, and wants to escape.
I grin bitterly to myself; no sort of computerized intelligence could ever understand the decision I?m making. I suppose I could try to explain it as an equation, with the normal state of being as an naturally-occurring mathematical formula. By introducing so much pain and death to the equation, I created an imbalance. The equation can only be balanced again by removing myself.

To ensure that escape is impossible, I concentrate and de-activate the magnetic generators that run throughout the arms. These generators rendered my arms completely immune to the magnetic field; without them, my arms are being pulled towards the generator. The AI is overriding my command.
It?s too late for that. They?re already submerged, and they?re far too heavy for us to break the surface. If only I had done this earlier, when I had the chance. Such is hindsight?

I was never a religious man, but I can?t help but hope that maybe, when this is all over, I?ll be with Rose again. I want to apologize, and tell her I love her. I know I don?t deserve to be, though; I should burn for what I?ve wrought onto others, tortured by a quartet of serpents. I?ll endure any torture for a chance at redemption, a chance to be with her?

The surface seems very far away now?the AI re-activated the magnetic generators, but for naught?

Magnetic?if I alter the magnetic field on the generator by eight units?I could prevent the field spikes! Of course! That?s where I kept making a mistake?

I have to tell Rose?she?ll be so happy?[/font][/size][/color][/spoiler]