Granny Rant

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]I've seen a few of these off and on during my visits to OB and I've finally decided to add my own lament about the family I've been adopted into.

I get along with most of my relatives just fine, especially my mom's side. My dad's side is sometimes a bit off, but all and all it's not that bad. Until you consider my paternal grandmother who pretty much thinks she's God (and she's in the wrong religion to think that.)

She acts like she's this wonderful Christian person and on the outside everything seems in order, but it's really not. She makes snide remarks towards everyone. Her most recent with me is my weight and my husband.

First off about my weight: I've never been a skinny girl and now as pretty much everyone on the board knows I'm in my seventh month of pregnancy. During my first five months I lost a bit of weight because of that misnomered thing called morning sickness. My OBGYN was a bit worried that I wasn't gaining any weight, but now I've only put on about fifteen or so and if you take into account that I lost seven pounds in the first two trimesters I've only gained eight. But leave it to my grandma to try and get under my skin by commenting on how I should watch how much I gain and should I really be so heavy right now? She actually had the nerve on Sunday at my Baby Shower to make another remark about how big I am. I wanted to yell at her-For the love of God, I'm pregnant! I'm supposed to gain weight! But that would have been giving her what she wants.


The second comments are about my husband, Lincoln. It's no real secret, but we try to pretend it should be that Lincoln was never a Christian when we started going out. Add that to the fact that both his parents were alcoholics, he's a high school drop out, and he was raised by everyone from his brother to his aunt (lesbian aunt I should add which makes it a bit worse to her.) and that he smokes and there's just suddenly something wrong with Lincoln. Never mind that he treats me well, and he's extatic about being a daddy, my grandma has to say nasty things about how his smoking and his upbringing are bad for the baby. Never mind that he's quitting because of the baby.

She also got this idea about how the reason he joined the army is because he didn't have a job. I told her that he had a job and he had also gotten an offer for a roofing job, but he's rather have some steady work. But that still doesn't make him any better. She still bad mouths him behind his back, but to his face she's as sweet as can be.

Also I should mention that I have two cousins who both had children before they were married and that the children's fathers are now nowhere to be seen. (One's in jail for Statutory rape I don't know what happened to the other one) But she never makes comments about how they aren't doing anything right. But me on the other hand who went and got married before getting pregnant (not that suddenly I'm better than them even though one of the two doesn't even have custody of her daughter right now) get all the crap she can dish out. Hell, I even got crap for getting married at 21.

I'm tired of how she acts towards everyone and then still everyone acts like she's some kind of sanctimonious person. She's no saint or anything, she's just a bully.

So, does anyone have anything to add about this? Either experiances or advice would be appreciated.[/color]

[Hevn]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B]Lol. I told you I feel the same way. Those grandmothers acting like angels when only a few know they're really just devils. Talk about impossible people! Lucky for you you only have your grandmother to deal with. I deal with the whole paternal side of the family!

I'm learning now. The easiest way out of it is to stay away from them as much as possible. And I mean AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I know you can't get rid of her completely. I try to avoid her crowd and that includes eating dinner earlier or later than her. When she's talking I try to joke around so things will get off-topic.

Bottom line is shrugging it off. Don't let her get to you. And I promise you a more relaxing life. ^_^x[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Well I have to admit I've never had any sort of experience like that from either of my grandmothers, paternal or maternal, my maternal being the perfect model of a grandmother, kind, loving, hell she practically lives with us to help my mother and father while they are at work.

However I have a grandaunt who's exactly what your describing, a real nasty piece of work. I'm lucky that she lives in England but anytime I see here it's always negative comments towards myself and my sister (my brother escapes because he's her God-son), I was forced to leave school for a year due to a serious neck injury and she acts like I was just being lazy.

The only real advice I can give to you is to either ignore her completely or try to talk to her and explain that what she's doing is counter-productive. One final thing you could consider doing is warning her that if she wants to see her grandchild to-be she'd better keep her mouth firmly in check, not a nice thing to do but it seems she's crossed the line a few times to deserve that kind of warning.[/SIZE]

[Secily]

My grandmother. :mad:

She's an old gossip, and that's an extreme under statement. My mom has been through many bad times, and the things she did weren't exactly something to be proud of, and now my grandma, on my dad's side, is telling all of her friends who are teachers at my school about all of it. It's really none of her business.

[::Ex-Soldier::]

Well, firstly, I've never had this ever happen to me. I am very luck enough to have hardly any enemies in the family (except for a few...) but I know these kinds of people very well, and yes they are very annoying. The most you can do is basically, ignore her, and keep fighting with her. It gets boring, but if you get real pissed off, and tell her straight, she may just...shut up! Many people are tough and all, think they're big, but when you let them know you're ticked off, they'll shut their yaps out of fear.

Let her know you mean business!

Also, talking to her nicely and asking her to stop won't work. Atleast I don't think it would, because you say you've talked to her already about how you're pregnant and she still loves to say ****.

It's arogance and ignorance, but sadly, thats life.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Sadly enough, going off on her is discouraged because nobody wants to say anything to her.I'm afraid that she's going to end up saying something to my husband (like at Christmas when she actually said that the war in Iraq is God's will). Lincoln tends to not care what people think about him and that can lead to trouble, especially in a religious debate (the first time my grandma met my husband she actually asked him if he believed in God. His reply: Well, kind of, define God.)

I mentioned that my doctor was happy that I was gaining weight. I think next time I should just come out and say: 'Wow grandma! I didn't know that God was so superficial!' I wonder what she'd say to that. :laugh:

I got her to change the subject once when she was spouting off about how all Muslims think that they can only get to heaven by killing people because I mentioned how I had read about the religion and they believe that killing innocent people destines them to hell. I felt so good when I did that I told pretty much everyone.

My brother and I are outcasts because we're adopted and not biological grandchildren like every other grandchild she has. Usually my brother gets the brunt of everything because when he was a toddler he was always very active (he has ADHD). When he was three my grandma actually told my mother that she should find an exorsist for my brother! She's actually said it a few more times about him. However, now because I'm not Catholic anymore, and my husband never was Catholic I get it too..

Hev'n's advice is probably the most likely because I don't see her that often in the first place. I just end up on the phone with her and pretend that when she starts talking about God she means both. I really wish I could go off on her though.[/color]

[Hevn]

[quote name='ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet']When he was three my grandma actually told my mother that she should find an exorsist for my brother![/color][/quote]
[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B] :laugh: What a witch... erm... :D [/B] [/SIZE] [/COLOR]
[quote name='ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet']She's actually said it a few more times about him. However, now because I'm not Catholic anymore, and my husband never was Catholic I get it too..[/color][/quote]
[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B]Yeah, what is it with grandmothers and religion? They like condemn every religion expect theirs! They don't even practice good Catholicism... I'm off to a better religion *runs away*[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[quote name='ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet']Hev'n's advice is probably the most likely because I don't see her that often in the first place. I just end up on the phone with her and pretend that when she starts talking about God she means both. I really wish I could go off on her though.[/color][/quote]
[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B]Dreaming of getting even huh? Me too! I'm just scared the whole family's going to go against me and instead speak on her behalf. Don't worry, you, I mean, WE will get even with her someday ^_^x Oh I'm so happy I met you CHW. Now I know I'm not the only one on the planet who hates grandmothers. Heh.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[terra]

Yeah ... neither of my grandmothers are like that. Actually both of my grandmothers have a really advanced form of Alzheimer's so they don't even recognize my parents anymore, let alone me. Which is pretty sad in a different way.

But I do know the experience of having people talking about things that are really none of their business. It's pretty bad ... my parents are really good about letting me live my life however I want, it's some of their friends that get annoying sometime. And once even someone at the cash register asked me what college I went to and what major I was, and when I told her I hadn't decided on a major yet and that there wasn't really any pressure to do it, she tsked and said very negatively, "Things sure have changed since I was in school." Oh shut up!

I suppose in the end that wasn't really relevant to your grandmother ... but in my opinion, like others have said, you just mostly have to ignore those people who are negative about your lives and your choices. Because it's still your life and your choice in the end, so if you're enjoying yourself except for those moments you have to talk to them, who cares what they say?

[Harry]

One of my grandmothers is nice that I enjoy talking too. The other one (who is on the dad's side) is one of them most critical people you'll ever meet. She used to call me fatty when I was younger. Granted I deserved it cause I was fat but still. She also says various comments about me going nowhere every couple of times I talk to her. I've learned just to ignore here.

What I just keep in mind is if she dies before me, I win.

[::Ex-Soldier::]

[QUOTE=Harry]

What I just keep in mind is if she dies before me, I win.[/QUOTE]

Haha, thats actually pretty funny, because I was just gonna mention that. She IS old, and you don't have to deal with her for too much long because you don't even live with her do you? And even if you do, she is an old women, and she has to go sometime, even though that seems a bit cold...oh well. If she's really a witch, then i guess it isn't cold at all. Just try to grit your teeth and bear it, you know?
Like this ---> :mad:

[Hevn]

[quote name='::Ex-Soldier::']She IS old, and you don't have to deal with her for too much long[/quote]
[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B]My grandpa's one good person. He's dead. Not my witchy grandma though. My point is, villains don't die easily. That's why some movies has sequels. You could go live until 35 and you're grandma's still alive. What a nightmare ^_^x[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Are you guys ready for this? Yesturday she called me up and said that she wanted to try and have lunch with me this week. Right. A meal with her is like the friggin' Spanish Inquisition. I know if I ended up going by myself with her not only would I be tempted to eat a large cheeseburger (she's a Vegan) but I'd be bombarded with questions that she'd start to think up to make digetstion near impossible. My favorite would probably be about why I don't follow Catholicism anymore, I guess I could tell her that I am since her religion has been borrowing from my religion for the past 2,000 years. Then I could ask her when she's going to convert.

I did tell her I really had nothing planned (stupid stupid stupid!) but my mom thinks she's up to something. I think I should bring along a friend if she calls up later in the week or just do like my mom says and say something came up.

Does anyone else have other suggestions?[/color]

[Gelgoog Pilot]

Hmmm I know how these bible thumping Grandma's can be I have two...hehehe! Though I like both of them, one is starting to get pretty senial so she's past critizism. The other...well she's like yours Chibi...she'll make rather snide remarks and is a terrible gossip but since she's Catholic she's ok with God. I've heard some real mean stuff come from her, nothing about me, well at least to my face. Though if the problem arose that she was begining to say nasty things to me and about my spouse (if I had one) I'd actually accept and...well being the blunt person I am when Im angry I'd tell her what's bothering me.

After all she is only an old women (ok that was a bit of a joke) She is family though...I have always thought that you could talk things out with family. Of course my dad and his brother hate each other with a passion. (Ahhh getting off topic) Chibi. My advice is this...you're not going to get her to change in any certain way. Also its pointless to wait till she dies because then you may regret not parting on good terms. Just talk to her about it. If it doesn't go well, then find rest in the fact that you tried your best and that she just wishes to be stubborn.

All in all I think its rather funny...I mean the similarities with my family. Yeah I don't know what my own grandparents would say about me quitting the religion.

[outlawstar69]

[QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet]

I did tell her I really had nothing planned (stupid stupid stupid!) but my mom thinks she's up to something. I think I should bring along a friend if she calls up later in the week or just do like my mom says and say something came up.

Does anyone else have other suggestions?[/color][/QUOTE]


Hmmm... you say that you're grandmother shows a nice facade around other people, but around certain family members she shows her true colors? :rolleyes:

I don't honestly know if it would work or not, but if you can't back out of this lunch thing, take a couple of good friends with you. That way, she'll either "be nice in front of strangers", or, if she continues to be all negative, they'll be good friends and stick with you.

I happen to like my grandmother on my mom's side; the other one died before I was born. But, does anyone have this sort of problem with grandfathers?

My mom's dad is one of those rural, racist, sterotypical old geezers, and I really would rather not even spend time with him... it's sad to say, but why would anyone want to spend time with someone who criticizes your religion? (same feeling alot of other people have, apparantly.) I mean, this is a guy who, around every christmas, makes some gooey marshmallow dessert. For muslims, you have to watch out for marshmallow, because most have gelatin, unless they're kosher. Well, he told me he went and got the kind we could eat (which is hard to get in our area, so I appreciated the effort), so we could enjoy it. So, I believed him, and for a number of years we'd have it every once in a while. Then, I found out he'd been lying the whole time! :flaming: I can't believe he had the gall to do that sort of thing!

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE=Gelgoog Pilot]Of course my dad and his brother hate each other with a passion. (Ahhh getting off topic)

All in all I think its rather funny...I mean the similarities with my family. Yeah I don't know what my own grandparents would say about me quitting the religion.[/QUOTE]

[color=darkviolet]I'm beginning to think that you and I were related in a past life since there are way too many simularities. My dad and my brother have been at eachother's throats since my brother was legally theirs.

They can't really stand to be under the same roof together, and back in February my dad actually jeopardized my brother's ability to get this one job by calling the guy and telling him how John (my brother) had a suspended liscence adn a few tickets and moving violations. My mom was so pissed she was going to move out on him. And now John's looking for an apartment (that will take dogs) with one of his friends and my dad is now ticked because of that.

My brother doesn't even acknowledge my dad's side of the family. He says they don't exist and he hates them. This is all thanks to my grandma and an incident that happened last year.

My dad won't ever say anything to get her to stop saying things about anyone or tell her to mind her own business even though she would listen to him (he's her first son so automatically her favorite although she tends to say [i]he's[/i] an alcoholic when all he does is have like a few beers a day or some wine) Back between the end of 2003 and the beginning of this year when my parents were really not getting along my dad went to my grandma for 'advice' and since she can't keep her fingers out of everyone elses business she actually told him to say something about how it was 'God's' house instead of his house because of some earlier incidents when he was yelling about it being his house. Well, he said that to my mom during a failed family 'discussion' and my mom said ' Well, if it's 'God's' house maybe He should start paying the bills and the mortgage! :laugh: Needless to say, that was a failed arguement and my mom said that she doesn't want his mom interfering.

Sometimes I think living in my parents' house is the best way to get a stress headache[/color]

[Kanariya]

[color=darkslateblue][size=1]Ack, my grandma. And my grandpa. Forget my dad's side; I don't even know his mom's first name.

For my summer vacation, I had to visit my grandma and grandpa. (crap) Well, both of them are Carb Freaks, meaning they complain about 'you'll eat too many carbs' and stuff. Well I understand their point, because I am slightly overweight, and I watch my food intake and carbs/calories so I can't get gain anymore weight. I could lose a few pounds, I admit that.

But every summer I see them, they rant, and rant, and rant. 'You know how many calories that piece of bread has?!?'

I tell them to stop ranting, but they tell me to 'shut up.' So I remain quiet until after a few other arguments on carb intake.
My grandpa does most of the carb rants, but my grandma is a little in it too. My grandma complains about the stupid choices her daughters make.

Like for instance, my mother. My grandma says things about my mother, which I really could care less about, but keeps rambling away anyways. And then she says 'well I don't care anymore.'

5 minutes later...

'She's so stupid! She should be able to ...blah blah..'
My grandma just complains too much. I dread going there every summer, afraid of daily rants.[/color][/size]

[eh luu]

unlike you, who's grandparent acts like that, i never really had that problem, unfoutunately i am stuck with a spanish speaking woman, who believes everytime i come over, that i am there to serve the men.
I mean literally last time i came over.. she made me get everything for my brother and whim to his every will.
then to top it off, she never has liked me, i am the family outcast in my family and i am related too, she plays favourites with all the grandchildren, and my dad used to say when i was younger it'd be my turn, but y'know what? years later, i am still the one she doesnt really like XD I am too differenty for my family .. so i get a lot of harsh makeing fun of about how i am into certain things.

you'll just have to deal with her, because sometimes when they are that old, they'll never change there ways, they'll keep going with there snide remarks, and you'll just have to learn to deal with them even when they become so annoying, and you will have you times where you just want to break and starting telling her how it annoys you to a point of no return.
i dont really know what to say but good luck ;/

[Gelgoog Pilot]

MY GOD Chibi! I think you're on to something! Lol. My dad has hated his brother since Frank (the brother) got into his car accident and lost the use of his right hand. Well the Grandparents apparently spoiled him after that, though I thought it a little jealousy. Dad later told me of how he had gotten to the accident before the cops and had hide all of his brother...well stash of drugs. I know that is true because my uncle was a wild ladies man and strangely still is. Frank NEVER thanked my dad for it or even tried to get away from the pampering. Its wierd he's on government paychecks...yet...he can make picnic tables and animal feeders with one stinking hand!

Yeah I could go on about the fued but...I think I better save people the trouble of doubling over in laughter over some of it.

Luckily my parents have never hit a rough spot. Sure they have thier fights and they both make mistakes but they have never hada huge fight...as far as I've seen. Besides that...I don't see my dad going to his mom for advice lol. Mybe his mother inlaw but no one else.

[HetepKa]

[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=Green][I]Truth be told, my grandma (from my mother's side, I live with and all... ) can get on your nerves sometimes, when she complains and rants about the little insignificant ant that went in the kitchen and grabed a piece of bread, or about how costly it is to go to a super market in these times... :rolleyes: And can't forget the chocolate, everytime she sees me with a chocolate, even if it is has about 1/2 a calorie, she says that'll give me 30 extra kilos, and that's when it starts to get annoying, but, I know she does it because she cares for me, so, I basically just shut up and listen :D

But, there are sometimes when she's a very nice person, and gives very very wise advise, that only comes with experience and watching soo many documentaries, I enjoy watching stuff like that with her, I even watch my country's version of "Who wants to be a millionare?" And we scream at the TV together saying that that dumb man couldn't see the difference between George Washington and a banana cream pie :wigout: We also criticize the government together,and such...It's actually quite fun!! :laugh:

But, some people claim I complain and rant a lot, and they claim I look just like her, when she was young, and that I act just like her when she's well..um...a granny!! :D , Soo, I suppose that's why we get along so well :eek: But, then again, I've lived with her since I was born, I had tog et used to her, and I did...

I belive some grandparents rant and complain because of their age, and because, maybe, sometimes, they see other people are younger and healthier, and the way they can "get back at them" is by complaining and ranting, and trying to make them miserable...In my opinon

Well, peace and out, this was!
HetepKa[/I] [/COLOR] [/SIZE] [/FONT] :angel:

[DetectiveMikeRS]

My grandmother can be very very cheap. She had a farm with her husband but sold a lot of land, about a million dollars worth, no kidding. My aunt drives down to visit my family from Maine every now and then. She mentioned that she needs about 70 dollars for gas once a week and with the high prices at the time that was too much for her. My grandmother snapped at her and said "Glad you have 70 dollars!" And her in ground pool has a leak and needs a new liner then to be filled, it will cost 6000 dollars and she says "Thats not so bad." And now she wants new carpeting for 2000 dollars. And she couldn't even pay for the headstone for my sister who passed away in May. Not even a single sent she offered to my parents.


Then she talks about a family thier friendly with, constantly. If it's not them it's what she ate for dinner, lunch, snack, breakfast, brunch etc in addition to exactly what she had and were she had it at what time! My cousin and aunt can't stand that anymore and havn't visisted them in a while! All I do is act nice and nod my head.

Like my Aunt says, if you treat her nice, you'll get in the will.

[BlueYoshi]

[quote name='ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet']When he was three my grandma actually told my mother that she should find an exorsist for my brother![/color][/quote]

[color=teal]My opinion on the matter is that your grandmother should have auditioned for the role of Tony's mom in The Sopranos. By the sounds of it she would have made a great Livia.[/color]

[chobit]

My grandma is really rich(like millionair type thing)so she thinks she can just interrupt everyone and everything whenever she likes.

Plus she spent 44 thousand dollars on a quilt.Its not even a designer quilt,some old ladies knitted it and were selling it for like 50 dollars.But noooooo she had to be all rich and crap.

That money could've fed Ethiopia for a year.Possibly.

[wiccansamurai]

My grandparents are all nice to me. But the ones on my dad's side HATE my mom.

It all started when my mom and dad started dating in high school. When my mom got pregnant, and they decided to get married, my grandparents were CONVINCED my mom was trapping my dad in a marriage because of the pregnancy. But when my mom miscarried, they still got married. (FYI, they are very much in love and have 8 kids) My grandparents still dislike my mom, and favor my cousins over any of the eight of us.

My grandparents on my mom's side are hilarious. You could look at a calender and know when my grandma is drunk. Every other day, for years now. My grandpa is just plain weird. I would say he's senile, but my mom says he wasn't any different when she was a kid. He was abusive back then, but now a days, is sure that he was a great father. Once, he tried to convince me if you mix all the primary colors together in paint, you get white. He tells my grandma he quit smoking yet we saw him at his sign holding job for some construction work lighting up one of his self-rolled cigerettes. Another thing about this sign holding job: You know the guys/women, they hold the stop/slow signs? He has caused around 3 accidents :laugh: And it's impossible to talk to him. Most of us try to avoid it. If he starts a conversation with you (usually about how horses can talk but they don't want to) you always have some sibling standing right behind him laughing because you got caught by him.

Its a wonder my mom's parents aren't dead yet. They're constantly drunk and they smoke and they're 80 something.


All in all, we hardly see any of my grandparents, so its all good.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Well, here's an interesting update on my grandma, she had a stroke last Friday and lost movement in her right side and couldn't talk for a few days. (if only it had lasted longer)

In someways I guess I feel a bit bad for not actually going to lunch with her, but I know she never has anything to do with me or my brother unless she wants to insult us. And she really does hate my mom she's just too damn hypocritical to really admit it.

I know it's kind of wrong to say so, but I really wish she hadn't been able to talk, but my mom says that maybe now that she's not as independant she might get more frustrated and maybe let her true feelings out. So everyone can know that she hates my mom for not being a dutiful submissive Christian wife like her daughters who are all semi stepford wives who can't really think for themselves with the exception of my Aunt Mary.

My dad;s kind of agitated with my mom because she won't go up to the hospital with him [i]every day[/i] and sit by her and tell her how much they hope she gets better. I mean, I know my mom does hope she gets better, but she's not going to moon over her.

Well, that's all from me, just a quick update on everything. More wonderfrul stress and I still have to find a peditrician and make an appointment for a hospital tour.[/color]

[Delta]

[FONT=Book Antiqua][COLOR=DarkRed]
My maternal grandmother fattens us up whenever we visit her. She loves to eat and I think that's why she lives long.
... Good people do live long!

Also, she loves to point at a gecko and introduce us to it. ("Ah, that's (name of gecko). He lives in the kitchen.")

I sooo love her. :D

And Chibi, just hang on.
:lecture: Maybe her stroke is one of them "signs from God", a wake-up call of sorts. Do visit her. Maybe if she sees that you still "love" her even though she treats you like crap, she'll go soft! Yeah! Treat iniquity with kindness (whether it is sincere or not doesn't matter).

Then laugh as soon as you exit her room.


[/COLOR][/FONT]