Writing Meh Story: Angel of Death

[Skye]

[color=orange][size=2][font=times new roman]Well? ::traces patterns in the ground with her toe:: ColourDeaf insists that this story is really good, and well put together. SO he says I should put it up. I asked if you would all like it? and? to quote him:

[quote name='ColourDeaf']Of course they will like it, Skye! They?d be fools not to like it, FOOLS YOU HEAR ME![/quote]

?>_> And then he said something about Invader Zim. On with the story.

[center]***[/center]

[I]The blue-eyed angel watched as the two fell. Falling, always falling. The black, bat-like wings encased with the white, angelic wings as both beings hurtled to the sea.[/I]

[b]It was impossible.[/b]

[i]Raven-colored hair blew into her eyes, and she brushed it back hastily. ?Damn you,? she whispered in pain and sorrow. The two figures never heard her. Her pearly wings were stained with blood, the right fractured and broke, while the other hung limp by her side.[/I]

[b]They never would have survived.[/b]

[I]Still they fell. Demon and angel; entwined as they were in love, life, and death. The demon daughter, Cecily, and the angel son, Jason. Healer and slayer, daughter and son. Both hurtled to the sea.[/I]

[b]I wouldn?t have believed they could live like that.[/b]

[I]Just as they reached the water, their wings snapped out, and they swooped apart, skimming the water. The sea was now jet-black and indigo, the waves crashing upon one another.[/I]

[b]But they did.[/b]

[I]Tears brimmed those deep, sorrowful eyes. Tears of blood, tears of pain, tears of regret. ?An angel should never regret?. ?But I do,? she whispered. Her wings were in agony, and the waves pounded against the cliff she stood on, the tendrils reaching for her.[/I]

[b]And I should have died.[/b]

[I]She went weak, and her legs could no longer hold her up. She stumbled, and fell, plummeting from the seaside cliff. Her wings, battered and broken, did nothing for her. She swallowed tears as she fell into the troubling sea.[/I]

[b]But I did.[/b]

[I]It cushioned her, though the breath was taken from her lungs. The water enveloped her, warm and calming, like a mother holding her child. The broken angel?s wings closed about her in a ball of soft feathers, and the blood streaked them in a pattern.[/I]

[b]I shouldn?t be here.[/b]

[I]Her eyes opened, pale and ice-cold. She opened her mouth, and water rushed in ? but she could breath. She hungrily gulped it down, and felt her lungs start to work again. Her wings started to heal ?[/I]

[b]I should have sunk ? [/b]

[I]The girl-child rushed to the surface, wings and body whole again. She broke the surface, and sped into the air. The two lovers, demon and angel, hovered there in front of her.

?Shyl.?

They spoke her name.[/I]

[b]My name?[/b]

[I]The angel boy?s silver wings were streaked with crimson, just as the demon-girl?s were. The demon-child?s wings were indigo and silver; thin as paper, but powerful as Death.[/I]

[b]Oh, Lover Death, why didn?t you take me?[/b]

[I]She stared into their eyes, one at a time, and they fell, crashing into the indigo waves. The sea swallowed them up. The girl looked to her woven wings, her healed body, and her eyes. Some thing split her forehead-[/I]

[b]If only it had killed me.[/b]

[I]And then she could see. Really, See. She saw the dance of the energies, and the dying blue and red as the two lovers sank into the pitiless ocean. Her third eye was opened. And she heard, ?Angel of Death. Leareth. No longer Shyl.? The name rang in her head.[/I]

[b]Leareth?[/b]

[I]And she rose, powerful silver and crimson wings beating the air. She rose into the dark sky, into the thunder, and into the night. She hovered for the last few seconds as she felt the dying pulse of the two of the two worlds. They had given her her new title. They now were free.[/I]

[b]Sister Death. Leareth. Angel of Death. And I wish I could die.[/b]

[I]She turned blood-red eyes Heavenward and she smiled.[/I]
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C&C please!

Skye[/color][/font][/size]

[G/S/B Master]

[COLOR=SlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Century Gothic]Ah yes, a very good story indeed. I agree with the quote BTW. :).

In the 1st or 2nd paragraph, give the beginning of the story. What is it about. Other then that, you've got a great story. With [COLOR=Red]C[/COLOR][COLOR=Orange]O[/COLOR][COLOR=Yellow]L[/COLOR][COLOR=Green]O[/COLOR][COLOR=Blue]R[/COLOR][COLOR=Indigo]F[/COLOR][COLOR=Violet]U[/COLOR]L descriptions and great story telling abilities. This will be a hit.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Lusheeta]

I know how you feel about your story....I was realy hesitant to post my newest one,but i did(tho no one has replied yet..) and i feel better now!I loved your story!the first part WAS confuzing but i think it kinda made it better..0_o ok,well good job!theres more right??im so excited!

[Muad'Dib]

[COLOR=DarkOliveGreen]OoooOOOoooh... that was nice! ^___^ *clap clap*

It leaves a lot of room for expanding the story, but could survive on it's own as kind of a mini-story. The format was creative, with Shyl's (aka Leareth) thoughts in between paragraphs. You don't see that very often, but it makes for good plots.

Very original, yet familiar in a way to other stories.

10- 10- 9.5 from the russian judge.[/COLOR]

[DragonBlood]

Ah! That is by far one of the greatest short stories I have ever heard. EVER.
*Clap clap clap clap clap* It realy was good. *Clap clap clap clap clap*

[Engel]

[COLOR=Royalblue][SIzE=1]*Claps hard, not golf clap either* You did good, Skye. I liked the parts where you put Leareth having comments. It gave the story the sense of sorrow and personality that is good. Scores:

10.0/9.6/10.0[/COLOR][/sIzE]