Hard to Tell (pt.2)

[Shwa]

Hiya OB ppl. This thread is a continuing of my other thread "Hard to Tell" about how I was going to tell my parent I'm a homosexual. I got lots of great advise from you guys before and I wanted to thank you for giving them to me, unfortunatly I wasn't able to use any of that advise since my plans to tell my parents when I went ot college didn't work and here's why:

First of all my best friends: Jess, Brandon, Mollee, and Ted were the only people that know about my issue (also some people at school too). So my brother and I work at the Mall (I work at the arcade and he works at Friendly's). So my friend Jess one day talked to another friend Even online and a conversation came up about me being gay which Even didn't know yet. He works with my brother as a cook and Even asked my brother if it was true, naturaly he denied it but when he got home that night my brother asked me if it was true and i said "yes". Fore the rest of the night he seemed fine, but it was the morning that my world came crashing down. My brother got "depressed" and my mom was trying to help him out and figure out what the problem was and wanted to take him to a doctor. So my step dad, mom, and brother are in his room talking and I'm listening from outside his door...my brother was crying so badly is was kind of funny to see an 8 year old do that. My mom asked him if their was anything wrong with: His life, his girfriend, his friends, work, family. I wanted to tell them so badly but I didn't want it to be that day, I stood outside the door trying not to open teh door nob and confessing. My hand was shaking and so was I, but I finally got in there and told them everything, we had a long talk about it in the living room and things couldn'e get any worse.

My mom thinks it's he fault because I hanged out with her a lot when I was little and my brother thought it was his fault because he never let me hang out with him when we were little (my family has some uilt issues). My mom's yelling at me saying stuff like, "I raised you better than this", "How could you do this to me right now??? I dont need this", "You've really dissappointed me" I couldn't take it and cried when she said those things, so then she got the idea that my friends and the internet "made" me gay and so I've been restricted to go on the net for weeks now (i had to leave the computer on all last night just to use it for more than and hour). So later that night my mom and I talked some more and she wanted to know if I was going to wear make-up and dress like a girl for now on, I didn't hessitate to say no (cause i think thats kinda weird, but i kinda do respect those gay people for what they beleive in or something llike that) She said this "problem" better not effect my schoolwork at all (yeah i forgot to mention she thinks it's a "problem" now). So anyways she also didn't want me to tell anyone that ask me but i said no 'cause i'm tired of not telling people...its my issue and I'll tell it to whoever i want. If they dont like it tough, what are they gonna do beat me up?? So now every time i got driving with my brother somewhere he gives me situations like,

Brother: "If Jennifer Lopez was in our house, would you not "bang" her?"
Me: Why the hell would she be at our house?
Brother: How about if you were at a party and a girl got drunk and wanted sex, would you?
Me: Right...I'm 16 and thinking about sex right now -_-, beasides taking advantage of a girl is majorly wrong. Good lucky fathering that baby cause i'm not helping you.

And he keeps going on and on about how I'm not gay and it really pisses me off, everyone I know in my family thinks I'm too young to know what i want. I like guys and thats the bottom line there, end of descussion. So its beed like two weeks after I told them and things are ok now, I still cant use the internet much so I have to walk to the library, and I'm surprised that my homophobic step-dad is not taking things too hard. He's the only one in the house I like now, so there's my story on it.

Like always I would like your opinion on my situation please. Sorry for making this thread a long post :D

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]I'm not exactly an expert on this because I've never been in a situation such as this. But maybe you should try and give your family some time to get used to the idea of you being gay sinc eit's probably a bit of a shock for them

As for your mom saying that you let her down. Well, hopefully she'll get over it since it's not like it was your goal in life to become gay and ostricize your entire family. If not well, you do have the fact that you're not trying to please anyone but yourself and in the end that's really all that matters in these situations.

And your older brother...well, I just hope none of my single friends ( I think I have one or two of those left) stay far away from him.

I don't know if that helps or not, but I just wanted to try.[/color]