Writing Funny Songs...woo! (Mild mature language)

[ColourDeaf]

Alright, again exactly what it says on the tin

[B]Anything You Want[/B]

Walking through the park
Just me and you
There isn't much in the world
I wouldn't do for you
So if a man with a knife said
"Your money or your life"
I wouldn't think twice...
I'd stand my ground
And not give an inch
Coiled like a spring
I wouldn't even flinch
And I'd stare into the eyes of that
Son of a *****
And this is What I'd say...

Do anything you want
To the girl
Just don't hurt me

I might be crazy
But I ain't reckless
She's got a diamond ring
And she's got a necklace
Look in her purse
She's got keys to a lexus
Me I'll be on my way.

Do anything you want
To the girl
Just don't hurt me

Oh what a funny old way
To measure love
Find out where you stand
When push comes to shove
'Cause right now
It ain't you I'm thinking of
It's me
It's me
It's ME ME ME ME
I LOVE ME!

Do anything you want
To the girl
Just dont hurt me
I said do anything you want
To the girl
Just dont hurt me
(Don't hurt me!)


[B]New Daddy Now[/B]

I'm not the kind
to stay around till dawn
And she looks so peaceful
When she's laying there
So I move round her place
And I come face to face
With a boy of 5
Who's looking at me

He said
"Are you my new daddy now?
Will you be at my birthday party Saturday?
Will you take me to the park
And chase these monsters from the dark?
Are you my new daddy now?
Are you my new daddy now?"

I look at him in the face
And say "Look kid, I'm just here to rob the place
So put that playstation in this bag
And shut your yap!
Cause statisically if you break it down
The reason your dad ain't
Is cause half of all marriages end in divorce
And that's a fact."

He said
"Are you my new daddy now?"
(I said [I]no thanks[/I])
"Will you be at my birthday party Saturday?"
(Hey what's in that piggy bank?)
"Will you take me to the park
And chase these monsters from the dark?
Are you my new daddy now?"
"Kid, I'm not your new daddy now?"

And then I hear the sirens
In the yard
Isn't it funny how a man can have
A sudden change of heart?
'Cause this kid could use a dad
To make his life fufilled
And maybe I could use
A human shield

He said
"Are you my new daddy now"
(I said [I]you got it kid![/I])
"Will you be at my birthday party Saturday?"
(Go grab your baseball mit -)
"And let's go to the park
And chase these monsters from the dark"
"Are you my new daddy now?"
"(Stay in front of me kid) I'm you new daddy now..."


...

Are your sides splitting yet?

[Guest MangaFreak]

Alright then. I loved them yet I am sadly not lauging but dont give it a second thought. I realy never laugh. I laugh at only extremely stupid things. That don't make sence. The little things that people do. Like the look on their face when you say I Love You! even though you dont mean it. Its because of my mother. Shes an evil in a funny way person. She taught me how to frighten people and how to laugh out right when some one slipps and falls. Including at myself. How to make others peoples faces bright red or them to run and hide. But any way. Please, I'm begging you... post lots lots more!
ps... I need you permission. Can I email this to my friends... I'll give you all the credit. Oh, that reminds me... whats your name? So I can add it.
if no, you only need to say the word and I'll weep in my room for a week and cuss at you in all the laguages I know. LOL I barely know english!
JK